~ Chapter Thirty-Five - Setting Out
[Conference Building, Presidential Palace, Tuesday, 28th of October, 11:47 am]
"And where will the funds for all this come from?" Lantos Farkas, the mayor of Fisherman's Horizon, stood to address the room, as always looking uncertain of himself and his position amidst some of the world's most powerful men and women. "FH will be more than happy to take on construction contracts for Esthar Garden, but we worry about the ambition of these plans and the financial realities. There hasn't been an endeavor of this size and scope since Adel's reign, and we stand in that very building today. President Loire, you yourself must realize how the Palace drained her coffers. FH will not invest any manpower nor will we import any costly materials until we see a solid financial agreement, stating who will foot what part of the bill and insuring us against any losses. A construction like this could bankrupt us if even one backer falls through."
Stifling a sigh, Squall didn't know what was worse. The endless debate about money, or the continuous verbal attacks against Garden. Farkas was doing just as much damage as the many crude accusations and false statements made by General Reardon and Chief of Police Borecco. Nothing was more infectious than the sound of anxious people closing their wallets.
Next to him, Quistis did a convincing job of looking like she had taken Farkas's concerns to heart before correcting him firmly. "Esthar Garden will make FH the most wealthy engineering hub in the world, putting you at the forefront of technological advancement and securing the next few decades of your monopoly on propulsion technology." She stood ramrod straight, her voice and bearing the epitome of confidence and competence. "No risk, no gain, they say. But in this case, I see only advantages."
"For Garden and FH perhaps," the Estharian Secretary of Economy cut into the exchange, ignoring all rules of civilized debate. "We all know that the majority of the bill will go to Esthar. Garden might be powerful, but they aren't rich. They rely on their clients and Esthar's goodwill to keep their heads above water, and this is just another ploy to encroach on our sovereignty using our tax payer's money."
Glancing at the clock that ticked away precious second after second, Squall had had enough. They'd been in there for nearly four hours, with little to show for it but insults and bickering. Even Loire's expression was tense with the effort of trying to smile inoffensively despite all the frustrating speeches they'd had to listen to. He didn't wait for Quistis to invite him to speak.
"Garden might not be able to compete with Esthar's treasury, but we are richer than any nation when it comes to skill." He didn't stand to emphasize his words, instead locking eyes with each attendant who seemed like they might disagree. "Unrivaled magic expertise, martial strategy, rigorous discipline, instant deployment where no one else dares to go. That's our currency. The bargain is fair." His gaze landed on Zautra, the chief executive officer of the SCTA. The man had been suspiciously restrained throughout the proceedings, and now as well he merely met his gaze with a calculating stare.
"As the Commander says, Esthar is greatly indebted to Garden," Loire replied, immediately trying to take the edge off his words. "But so is Garden indebted to Esthar. That is the nature of mutually beneficial alliances. I'm sure we can come to an agreement that will benefit all parties."
"I sincerely doubt that." Zautra's voice didn't boom loudly. Instead it was the man's composure and control that commanded the room's attention. "Garden is seeking to supplant the SCTA and the Estharian army with their own operatives and agendas. Tell me, what benefit is there for the many good men and women trained by our facilities when soon they'll have to compete with SeeDs even in their home territories? Will they too have to accept the taint of unnatural enhancements just to stay in the race?"
Not once did the man's dark eyes stray from Squall's, challenging him to speak. No one else took the floor, the room plunged into thick tension. "I don't consider competition as something to avoid. It weeds out the weak." Squall paused, before adding. "More Estharians will be deployed in the field than ever before, both on a national and worldwide scale. They will have access to unparalleled training and will be able to better defend Esthar. Paramagic isn't a taint or threat. It's a necessity. Without it Esthar wouldn't be here today."
"Only SeeDs can save the world? How humble." Zautra's stare conveyed the deep offense he'd taken, belying the man's civil tone. "Estharians on the world's stage," he continued thoughtfully, as if considering it seriously. "An attractive prospect, if one ignores the fact they'll be under foreign orders. I've studied the contracts Garden enforces on its students and operatives. Loyalty to Garden over all else, transcending even family and nation." The man narrowed his eyes in concerned speculation; a well rehearsed façade. "Such a worrisome creed might work for orphaned misfits, but it hardly seems appropriate for Esthar's youths. They are the future of this country, not some chattel to be ransomed to the highest bidder."
"We expect dedication, integrity and loyalty, but never blind obedience," Squall countered, equally unbending. "We don't deploy operatives against their personal beliefs, against conflicting loyalties. They all have a voice. They all have an equal chance to gain rank."
"Noble mercenaries?" Zautra let out a snort, the first breach in his polished demeanor. "Pardon me, but I find that hard to believe."
"We charge for our services, as do you. Generating profit doesn't preclude ethics." Squall kept his voice cool and clipped. "But even if you question our methods, you can't argue with our results. We get the job done."
Quistis immediately seized the opportunity to chip in. "We have a 64% higher success rate in non-magical conflicts and a 98% higher success rate in magical conflicts compared to military operations. Worldwide monster populations have dropped an average of 12% and up to 92% in areas with regular SeeD patrols."
"Compelling statistics indeed." Zautra's reply dripped with condescending calm, the man never even looking Quistis's way. "And just how many of those missions have you actually taken part in yourself, Commander? A man of your age."
A din of hushed comments rippled through the attendees at the most blatant challenge of his authority yet. The blandly pleasant expression had finally vanished from Loire's face and Quistis was sending him a silently pleading look.
He bored his gaze into Zautra's and contained his anger, forcing it into a cold and seething fire that fed his every word. "The average SeeD accrues more active field time and experience by their first year than most Estharian operatives do in ten. I have successfully completed a hundred and twenty-seven missions in the past two years, all of them in a leading capacity. I have earned my position, as do all SeeDs who rise through our ranks."
"One hundred and twenty-seven missions?" Zautra scoffed, his eyebrows raised high. "In two years time?"
Before Squall could reply, Quistis laid open one of her many folders. Her fingers tracked the data as she began to read out loud. "One hundred and twenty-seven missions, sixty-two of them commissioned by Esthar. Seventy-one high level monster clean-ups, thirty-two stealth and recon missions, twenty-four human conflicts. Some of these missions include battlefields and large scale conflicts. Commander Leonhart was at the frontline for each and every one. He has done high-risk solo missions, has led small elite parties, as well as commanded forces as big as thousands of operatives."
Quistis briefly looked up from her file to fix Zautra with a piercing gaze, yet kept her smile pleasant. "In fact, his most recent mission was commissioned by Esthar. The clearing of an Oilboyle nesting ground at the Mi'ihen Refinery in the Estharian desert, sector 8D. Of course Commander Leonhart's capabilities far exceeded the requirements for this mission, but we agreed to send him as a favor to President Loire. He impressed upon us that Esthar's oil production is of great economic importance and the Oilboyle infestation could have destroyed one of Esthar's biggest oil reserves." Her smile grew sharper, as did her tone when she continued. "Of course none of that compares to the crucial part Commander Leonhart played in stopping the rise of a Sorceress bent on world destruction. All of you here have been briefed about this. All of you know just how close we came to the end."
Squall stifled a groan as he felt the stares of all those present settle on him in unabashed scrutiny, their voices rising in excited speculation. To hear Quistis sing his praise like that made him feel uneasy. The looks of awe on some faces were just as annoying as the doubtful sneers on others. He didn't care what anyone thought of him, whether they painted him as a hero or a fake.
Zautra cut through the din of voices. "And how are we to believe all this? We still don't have any evidence."
Quistis sent the man a look she usually reserved for her most stupid and recalcitrant cadets. "There are contracts, debriefs and reports for all missions, signed and approved by our clients. They're kept classified for confidentiality, but many of them have been signed off by President Loire himself, with me and the Commander in the room. If you can't trust my word, then trust President Loire's."
All eyes turned to the president, the tension in the room further heightened by the implication that Zautra would distrust the much lauded and beloved president of Esthar. Squall cursed inwardly as Loire didn't miss a beat and cleared his throat, rising from his chair. Better and better. After today no one could ever find out they were related. It would be the shit storm of the century.
"I have had the privilege of coordinating many missions together with the Commander, and he has seen them all to a satisfying conclusion." Loire addressed the room with gravitas, his gaze sweeping over all those present as he spoke. "I have witnessed his fighting skills with my own eyes, and I have seen Garden flourish under his leadership. He is a true ally and an accomplished leader."
Zautra snorted, ignoring Loire's testimony in favor of glowering at Squall. He returned the man's gaze, not in the least intimidated.
"If all this is true, then why hide your face?" the man challenged stubbornly, the ring of reason starting to fade from his arguments. "You say SeeDs will go where no one else dares to go, yet you don't even dare to venture out in public baring your true name. How can we follow someone like that?"
"I don't need the approval of the public, and I don't need the approval of men who prefer profit over progress," Squall replied evenly. "I do what needs to be done."
Quistis quickly cut in, smoothing over the increasingly unprofessional nature of the debate. "Garden's senior officers and headmasters collectively made the decision to keep Commander Leonhart's identity undisclosed to ensure that he can do his job with maximum efficiency. He isn't just a figurehead. He is our most valuable operative. If his face was known all over the world, his deployment rate would decrease drastically. Stealth would become impossible. Sensitive missions would become a playfield for the press."
"That's one possible explanation," Zautra conceded with a sneer. "Or perhaps Garden knew just how well the public would receive someone as… pubescent as Commander Leonhart. Not exactly the hero everyone has been imagining."
A shocked murmuring spread through the room, Zautra's comment too uncouth for even the more vocal opponents of Esthar Garden. Squall's fists itched with the desire to wipe Zautra's sneer off his face. Had he been anywhere else, he would've put the asshole in his place the moment the first disparaging comment had left the man's mouth. Back at Garden bullies had never bullied him for long.
"Mr. Zautra, you are out of line." Loire said, eyeing the head of the SCTA carefully. "The purpose of this meeting is to ascertain the viability of an Esthar Garden facility, not to attack Garden and its Commander with such scurrilous charges. You will either show respect and assume a professional manner, or you will find the SCTA without representation for any meetings to come."
Zautra blinked at the direct admonishment from his president. Perhaps sensing the changing sentiment in the room, he wrested his expression under control with visible effort. "My apologies, Mr. President," he managed, resuming his tone of polite superiority. "I merely have our nation's best interests at heart."
"As President Loire pointed out, we've strayed far from the main topics on today's agenda," Quistis spoke up, heading off anything else Zautra might wish to say. "But I'm pleased with the progress we've made. It was enlightening to hear everyone's concerns and advisements. I feel optimistic we can manage a more focused attitude during meetings to come and reach a decision soon."
Listening with only half an ear as Quistis forced the meeting into a rushed conclusion, Squall flexed his gloved hands and glanced at the clock again. He was running out of time. Several Secretaries were making loud enquiries, but Quistis ignored them all as she profusely thanked Loire for facilitating the day's meeting. Zautra had resumed his previous silence, the man's offending gaze challenging him to return it, but he was done with Zautra's posturing and insults. He had more important things to do than being provoked into another pissing contest.
"You may reach me at all times if you have any questions or concerns. I'll be in Esthar for the next few days, to facilitate easy communication between all parties involved. I will be in contact with your offices as well, to run by the adjusted propositions based on what was discussed today." Quistis stood up from her chair and neatly squared the stack of folders and files in her hands, signaling the end of the day's proceedings. "That is all for today. Thank you for your attendance and collaboration. I hope we may yet turn a daring vision into something truly great."
Squall got up from his seat the moment Quistis adjourned the meeting and called an official end to his morning's torment. He could already see several officials try to attract his gaze as they got up from their seats as well, most troublesome of all Zautra. The man was matching his brisk stride towards the exit, intent on intercepting him. Quistis and Loire sent him concerned glances, but they were set upon by several attendees vying for their attention. Just as he reached the double doors, Zautra set his hand on one of the handles, pretending at helpfulness while blocking him. Up close, he was a good head taller than Squall and the older man clearly reveled in the fact.
"I fight for Esthar, Commander Leonhart," Zautra said superciliously, his gaze raking over Squall in a derogatory manner. "Who do you fight for? Whoever pays you most for your services?"
Narrowing his eyes at the insult, Squall stepped close enough for the man to catch the icy glow in his eyes and feel the chill touch of Shiva's magic in the air. "You fight for Esthar. I fight for the world, for the people who need me."
Grabbing the other door handle, he shouldered past Zautra with an ease of strength that seemed to startle the man. Was Zautra truly that obtuse? That blinded by appearances? Whatever. The head of the SCTA would learn soon enough.
Stepping into the hall, he left the uproar and noise of the conference room behind him with quick strides, all the while feeling Zautra's malevolent stare boring into his back. He didn't care to linger and see who else was of a mind to come delay him with more pointless talk. Navigating the hallways to a private room Loire had arranged for him, he nodded at the guards in passing but his thoughts were already a mile away.
One look at his phone told him he needed to move. He would somehow have to manage a half an hour drive in twenty-five minutes. And that was if he got out of there fast. Picking up his pace, he entered one of the smaller waiting rooms near the palace's many conference rooms and strode over to where he had left his change of clothes. As he started to unstrap a decorative band that ran along his chest, the door behind him opened, followed by the sound of heeled boots.
"I tried my best." Closing the door, Quistis leaned against its frame. "Will you make it?"
Fingers moving from one unnecessary ornament to the next, Squall looked over to her. "If I'm not delayed," he replied succinctly, returning his attention to his uniform.
"I asked Loire. You can take the second north exit. No security checks."
Finally shrugging off the restrictive uniform jacket, Squall nodded his thanks.
"Did you check in any weapons?"
"No. I left Lion Heart in my car," he replied, before pulling his dress shirt over his head instead of unbuttoning.
Walking farther into the room, Quistis watched with a raised eyebrow as one item after the other was tossed into a careless heap. "Let me take the uniform. I'll get it back to you in time for the next meeting."
Squall grumbled at the mention of a next meeting. "They better decide soon."
Discreetly turning away when Squall's hands moved to his belt buckle, Quistis shrugged in resignation. "We all have to sit through it, Squall. You think I like this?"
"You were born for this," he answered dryly, glancing over at Quistis's impeccable appearance, the proud lines to her posture. "You don't need me here." His presence was proving to be more of a hindrance to the proceedings than an asset.
"Oh, I don't know," Quistis said with a secretive smile. "It definitely looked like you managed to intimidate some. Farkas for example."
Suppressing a satisfied sigh as he slipped on a soft, cotton t-shirt, Squall frowned belatedly at Quistis's statement. FH's new mayor was a spineless man. "At least Dobe spoke his mind."
Quistis quirked a teasing eyebrow. "You're siding with a pacifist now? Politics are changing you."
Squall snorted as he pulled up his worn combat pants. "FH is not the problem."
"I know," Quistis conceded, sobering a little. "I don't know who'd like to get rid of us more; the army or the SCTA."
"They'll have to bend to the decision of their government."
Quistis smiled. "Too bad Laguna doesn't believe in autocratic rule." Watching as Squall pulled on his boots, her gaze grew thoughtful. "You know why you're here. You're a reminder of all the reasons they need Garden on their side."
"I'm not impressing anyone."
"They might be testing you now, but everyone in that room knows about your war effort, the missions you've taken on personally for Esthar." She walked over to pick up the uniform Squall had dropped on the nearest chair, meeting the man's gaze. "The sooner those pencil pushers realize what kind of ally they could gain in you, the better. As for Zautra, I'll keep a tighter leash on him next time."
When she only received a snort in reply, Quistis continued, "Besides, it won't hurt our cause to have your name mentioned when it's time to sway public opinion."
"So it's a mascot you need," Squall said abrasively. "Not my contributions."
Quistis met his glare head-on. "I need both," she admitted bluntly. "You're the best PR any organization could wish for, but—" she added, smiling in satisfaction, "—you also crushed Councillor Cadogan's comments on the immorality of our profession, you reminded General Reardon that it were SeeDs who led his troops during the Lunar Cry clean-up, you practically tore apart all contingency plans that downplayed our contribution, and you didn't miss a beat when dealing with Zautra. Do you need to hear more?"
Squall quirked an eyebrow. "No warnings not to speak out of turn?"
"And break up my dream team?" Quistis smiled sweetly. "You're the stick and Laguna's the carrot. It's what'll get us through this thing." The brunet huffed in reply, clearly preoccupied with his rush to be elsewhere. To go to Seifer.
"Did he get home alright?" she asked, her gaze shifting to the dark circles under Squall's eyes.
Squall just hummed an acknowledgement as he put on his leather jacket.
"Late?"
Studying Squall's frown as he nodded, she surmised Seifer's eventual return hadn't been fun. But whatever had happened, it was clear they'd managed to turn things around again. Seifer's messages were still running through her thoughts, their scandalous content all the more suspect considering the expression she'd caught on Squall's face that morning. It had been very different from the angered or deadpan reactions she'd witnessed during their cadet days, when Seifer had been in the habit of pestering his sparring partner any chance he got. For a short span of time Squall's attention had been ensnared fully by Seifer's words, a guilty look of interest flitting across that usually impassive face before Squall had pocketed his phone.
"He sent me a few texts this morning. He seemed to be in good spirits," she said, testing the waters while keeping a close eye on Squall's reaction.
Squall raised a surprised eyebrow and met Quistis's gaze. "...For now," he agreed cautiously. The playful messages he'd received himself pointed in the same direction, and it was a good sign Seifer had decided to stay in touch with Quistis. He certainly hadn't expected it after the man's behavior the night before. Even Seifer's appointment with Odine had apparently gone well if the text Rinoa had sent him was to be believed, the young woman assuring him that Seifer was fine and on his way.
"I have to go," he said, his urgency renewed. He couldn't afford to be late.
"Okay," Quistis said, stepping out of his way. Squall's expression wasn't betraying anything more than his concern. She huffed inwardly at herself for letting Seifer succeed in his teasing ploy. Squall and Rinoa had only just separated. "You call me the moment you're back in Esthar, okay? I can't say I like you boys going off-grid for a week."
"I've been off-grid longer than that," Squall replied with a quirked eyebrow. "It's Winhill."
"Plus a hunting trip in the wild. With Seifer."
"And Fujin and Raijin."
"Okay then," Quistis conceded. "Seifer and his cohorts. How reassuring."
Rolling his eyes, Squall walked past her, into the hallway. "I'll live."
"As I said, I'd like for you to actually confirm that and call me when you're back," Quistis replied, accompanying him on his way out.
"I'll call."
"Thank you," Quistis said in sweet victory, before looking at him with a bemused smile. "I can't believe you're going on a holiday."
"If we even get to that part," Squall muttered, maintaining a fast pace. No matter Seifer's seemingly improved mood and Rinoa's reassurance, the previous night was still fresh in his memory. He'd come to understand that the smallest thing was enough to send their precarious balance crashing down, that Seifer's smiles and quips were just a thin veneer over what lay beneath. There were no guarantees.
Quistis frowned. "If he runs again, just drag his ass back."
At the unconventional piece of advice, Squall glanced Quistis's way. She shrugged and sent him a smile. "Fight pigheadedness with pigheadedness," she said. "You'll manage."
Wishing he could take the vote of confidence to heart, Squall looked away again. Silence fell between them as they made their way down two separate lifts and several hallways to the second north exit that had been arranged for him. When they drew even at a set of sliding doors that led out onto one of the lesser plazas and gates, Quistis held out her arm to stop him.
"One last thing before you go," Quistis said, her expression apologetic. "I'm sorry about yesterday. The picture I showed... I swear I wasn't trying to force things, but I realize now that it was insensitive. Maybe it's better to start out with new pictures first." Squall met her gaze without comprehension, the predictable reaction making her smile. Even though she knew her suggestion would probably fall on deaf ears, she still felt compelled to try. "You're actually going on a holiday. Make your first contribution to our collection and snap some shots. Get Seifer in there too. Seems like a good place to start."
Squall wasn't convinced but he held his tongue. No number of new pictures could make up for the past and he wasn't sure it would be wise to create lasting reminders of his time with Seifer. Soon he might be better off without them.
Quistis let out a soft sigh at Squall's wholly uninterested expression. She'd simply have to try Seifer instead. Taking a step back, she looked him over as if performing a last minute check-up before proofing him for duty. "Well then, I guess you have somewhere you need to be, Commander."
Squall nodded. "Thanks." He felt like it was the appropriate thing to say, even if she had caused more trouble than could've been prevented. Stepping out into the vacated plaza, Squall nodded at the guards posted outside and started into a fast pace.
"Good luck," Quistis's voice sounded from behind him.
Waving his goodbye without looking back, he hastened towards the gates that were already being opened by another two guards. Not the best exit. His car was parked on the other side of the Palace, a few streets down the adjacent block. An unfortunate consequence of needing to prevent people from connecting his license plate to that of the SeeD Commander. Glancing at his phone, he scowled and broke into a jog. Now he only had twenty minutes to manage the walk to his car and a half an hour drive.
Not that it mattered. Even if he had to run all red lights, he would not let Seifer down.
~ o ~
[Esthar Main Train Station, Sphinxara District, Tuesday, 28th of October, 11:54 am]
Locking up his pickup in the station's parking area, Seifer glanced over at the machine that would eat most of his money upon their return. He'd already spent far too much money on drinking himself into oblivion the night before. Whiskey wasn't cheap, nor herbal spirits.
Slinging his duffel bag and tent over his shoulder, he grabbed Kronos's case and headed for the escalators that would take him straight up into the train station. A brief glance at the announcement displays told him their train would be on time. No delays, no leeway in case Squall ran late. He still hadn't heard from the man, his phone sitting silent in his pocket for the past few hours, but he supposed that was a good sign. If Squall knew he wouldn't make it, he would have heard from the man.
He bought them lunch and coffee at one of the many shops before setting out for the station's upper level of platforms. Esthar had built the massive transport hub in record time, finally connecting the isolated city to the outside world with a high-speed railway net. Numerous train platforms were spread out over several levels, the whole place bustling with people and accents that were decidedly not Estharian.
Unfortunately for Squall and himself, the high-speed part of their trip would only take them as far as Fisherman's Horizon. After that they were doomed to the slow chugging of old style Galbadian trains. When he reached the turnstiles for the right platform, he scanned the code Squall had forwarded to him. The gate opened with a whirr, leading him out onto the translucent blue platform that provided a view of the many levels below.
Only a couple of other passengers had arrived, the platform almost empty. In his rush to be there in time, he'd managed to be early. Taking a deep gulp of his coffee, he felt his phone buzz in his pocket. He steeled himself for a message from Squall, saying that the meeting had dragged out.
- Message from Headmistress / 12:10 pm / One last request before you're off. Take some pictures. It could be your first entry to add to Selphie's collection. "Squall's first holiday ever." No one will believe it without any proof. -
A smile tugged at his lips. Now that would be an entertaining way to let everyone know he was still alive and kicking. He'd be able to avoid messy confrontations while at the same time still shocking everyone. A win-win situation all around.
- Message to Headmistress / 12:12 pm / I might just take you up on that. -
He quickly sent another message.
- Message to Headmistress / 12:13 pm / He's on his way then? -
- Message from Headmistress / 12:14 pm / He left about ten minutes ago. He should make it. -
His smirk widened. There was something satisfying about knowing Squall was rushing to see him, even if it was just so they wouldn't miss their train. The platform was filling up quickly now and in the distance he could see their train approaching on the tracks. The moment the train came to a halt, people walked past him to board. Squall would be cutting it close.
As the minutes ticked by, the bustle of people arriving diminished. The only people on the platform now were either waiting for someone as well, or walking straight onto the train. He finished his coffee and chucked the cup in the nearest bin, before eyeing Squall's cup and draining that one too. The platform had emptied when he looked up, the conductor waving at him from a few cars down, motioning for him to get on.
He shook his head, stalling for time. But then a dark figure rounded the corner, carrying a gunblade case and taking quick strides with a look that meant business. One very sexy and very determined commander. And of course Squall wouldn't stoop to a run, no, not when there was a whole minute left before the train would depart. Seifer smirked and opened the door of their car as the man drew close.
"After you, Princess," he said, behaving like the perfect gentleman as he indicated the train with Kronos's case.
Pulse still racing from the manic drive to the station, Squall regarded Seifer's smile with a surge of relief. The man'smood truly had improved then. He nodded his greeting and stepped onto the train.
Following Squall up the steps and down the narrow aisle in between seats, Seifer couldn't actually believe they'd made it. With not a moment to spare. Just as they were placing their luggage onto the overhead racks, the train gave a slight start and set into motion.
Sitting down into his seat, he glanced out at the platform disappearing into the distance, the buildings blending into blurs of blue and gray. His tiredness set in full force, the extra cups of coffee he'd had not even close to staving it off. He looked over at Squall, the man immediately meeting his gaze and looking every bit as tired as he felt. His conscience gave another twinge, but he quickly pushed aside any hesitance or thought that might lead him back to the previous night.
"Fun drive?" he asked instead.
Squall let out a huff, the stress of rushing to the station slow to abate. "Nothing but red lights."
A low chuckle left Seifer as he imagined Squall's impatience in the car. He leaned back further into his seat and stretched out his legs, nudging Squall's in the process. "And the meeting?"
"A pain," Squall said, rubbing his temple before looking at Seifer more closely. "Yours?"
"Alright. Even including your little stunt," Seifer said, with a huff. "She's fierce. And she certainly knows how to keep the Doctor in line."
Squall allowed himself to slowly relax. It seemed he'd made the right call. "What did Odine say?"
"That we can both expect a fifteen percent increase in our magic with the new pills," Seifer said, smiling broadly. They'd been deadly to start with. Another fifteen percent and they'd be able to take on the most hardcore GFs. "With time, hopefully a full recovery for us both."
Squall raised an eyebrow at the amazingly optimistic assessment. If that was true, then he'd be able to regain the level of skill he'd worked so hard for all his life, and so would Seifer. He let out a soft breath of relief.
"He wasn't happy you had to cancel," Seifer said, remembering Odine's annoyance with glee.
"I'm not inclined to reschedule. We've got what we needed from him."
"You'll need a clean bill of health to return to your missions though."
"I don't need Odine to prove my competence," Squall replied dismissively. "Kadowaki's assessment will do."
Seifer chuckled lowly. "Just imagine Odine's expression when he finds out, Princess."
Settling back into his seat, Squall mirrored the blond's good humor with a curl to his own lips. It was amusing enough to imagine Odine's ire, but far more satisfying was Seifer's smile.
"There's a sandwich for you in my bag, if you want," Seifer said, kicking said bag lightly. "I'm gonna catch a nap."
Squall watched as Seifer yawned, got comfortable and shut his eyes, sleep quickly claiming the blond. He hadn't dared to hope they would make it this far. Seifer's appointment had gone unexpectedly well, and the man had actually shown up for their trip in good spirits.
Rinoa was a force to be reckoned with.
Most likely she'd been a better companion for Seifer at the lab than he would have been himself. Rinoa knew exactly when to apply pressure and when to placate in order to avoid deadlocks and get what she wanted from the doctor. It was a dubious skill he wished she'd never needed, but it had definitely helped them today. That, and she probably had a lot more to offer than him in the way of comforting words. She'd always been a gentle touch, with a toughness at her core.
Going by Seifer's praise, it even sounded like the two might have gotten along. He wasn't sure how to feel about that, but Seifer deserved all the help and all the allies he could get. He got out his phone.
- Message to Rinoa / 12:42 pm / We made it. Thank you. -
Pocketing his phone again, he turned to look out of the window. Esthar's high-rise structures were already slipping towards the horizon and the muted conversation from the few other passengers pulled at him like a distant lullaby. But he was too high-strung for his thoughts to allow him any rest.
Winhill.
A sense of responsibility for Seifer had driven him forward, down this path. He owed it to the man after the way he'd abandoned all belief in him. He'd single-mindedly conceived the plan and put it into motion without much thought to the actual consequences he could suffer as a result. For once those hadn't mattered.
He still didn't doubt he was doing the right thing, but now that they were on their way, coming inevitably closer and closer to the reality of what he'd offered Seifer, the magnitude of it all became impossible to ignore.
For all he knew, and having Ellone's promise to that effect, she'd never let anyone into his memories. The closest anyone had ever come to seeing his mind were Rinoa's unsolicited attempts to read him and more often than not it had felt like an invasion. But worse than the violation of his privacy was the fact that she hadn't liked what she'd seen. Her access to his mind had been the beginning of the end. As if it had slowly chipped away at her belief that there was more to him than the unfeeling man most people saw. Instead each glimpse into his mind had confirmed just how dysfunctional he was.
This wouldn't be any different. Seifer could see anything. There wouldn't be a chance to cover it up with lies, to buffer what the man saw with a composed expression. All of his weaknesses would be as plain as day.
As the landscape changed from rock desert to salt plains, Squall rested his head against the cool glass of the window. He knew he should be more worried about what he could end up seeing in Seifer's memories, but he felt confident about his hypothesis. Instead his mind catalogued the worst possible memories Seifer could be landed in. His own memories of the war would be the worst. Ellone had been right about that. But apart from that, personal humiliation seemed the most likely risk. It was a price he was willing to pay. Seifer's peace of mind was more important than the man's regard for him.
Glancing at the sleeping blond, he had a hard time imagining any of this would bring them closer. It would be too personal, too raw. The specter of their past had loomed over them ever since they'd run into each other again, and here they were, on their way to dig it all up. Seifer had made it very clear just the evening before that he didn't think they should be involved at all. Squall knew better than to dismiss those words as a temporary lapse in judgment.
It was almost as if two conflicting entities lived within Seifer's skin; the man and the war. One minute Seifer was himself, but then the next... It would be a naive mistake to think Winhill would fix all that.
Looking away from Seifer, he checked his phone when it chirruped.
- Message from Quistis / 12:52 pm / Did you make your train? -
Texting back the affirmative, he kept his phone in hand, knowing to expect a reply.
- From Quistis / 12:53 pm / Keep Seifer in line for me and say hello to Ellone. Don't do anything I wouldn't. -
Huffing at Quistis's message, Squall could easily imagine the playful tone, underlined with a serious gleam to the woman's eyes. He had to admit that as unpleasant as the confrontation had been, he was glad everything was out in the open now. They were good, which made a hopelessly complicated situation a little bit more manageable.
Leaning his head against the window once more, he rested his gaze on the sparkling white expanse of salt rocks and tried to empty his head. Some sleep would be great and definitely more useful than mulling over scenarios that might never happen. Focusing on the muted sound of the train traveling along the tracks, he allowed himself to cave to the soothing calm of Shiva's presence at the back of his mind, something he hadn't done in ages for the purpose of sleep. The moment his eyes fell closed went by unnoticed as salt plains turned into the snowy landscape of his ice goddess's dreams.
~ o ~
[Ozmone Park, Sphinxara District, Tuesday, 28th of October, 13:53pm]
Seated on a bench in Ozmone Park, Rinoa watched the sunlight glint off the Palace's top tiers that peeked just above the tall trees. Angelo sat obediently by her feet, happy enough to doze in the sun as she waited for her second appointment of the day to show up. First the meeting with Seifer and Odine, and now her ex's overprotective, aggressively meddlesome friend. She knew better than to think Quistis considered her a friend as well. They'd gotten along well enough when she'd still been staying at Balamb Garden, each keeping the peace with polite greetings and inoffensive conversation, but she'd never managed to reach a deeper understanding with the difficult woman. After she'd moved to Esthar with Squall, her relationship with Quistis had shifted from politely distant to strained.
She sighed, considering the wisdom of agreeing to meet the woman. At least by calling her up first, she'd been able to set the terms herself. Better to meet in a place of her choosing; a public park, where Quistis's sense of propriety would force her to behave in a civil manner. After the morning she'd had, she was in no mood to be scolded or lectured any more than could be avoided.
Watching the many passersby as they walked their dogs, jogged or otherwise went about their lives, Rinoa glanced at her phone. Quistis was running late. Though she supposed she shouldn't be surprised. The woman was perpetually busy, just as bad a workaholic as Squall. Those two had always enabled each other in their unhealthy devotion to their jobs, and sometimes she wondered whether Quistis hadn't secretly enjoyed the priority she'd been granted over Rinoa whenever she'd beckoned Squall with an urgent meeting or high stakes mission.
She didn't harbor any disillusions that now that she and Squall had broken up and had severed their bond, Quistis's enmity towards her would disappear. They'd chafed from the first time they'd met, long before she'd started something with Squall. It had been clear from the get-go that Quistis had considered her a spoiled princess with rather fanciful and naïve ideas of becoming a freedom fighter. The woman hadn't been wrong, but she'd also consistently underestimated her ever since. Some people simply never became friends, no matter what.
But if Seifer could withstand her, then so could she. Quistis was no more than a loose end. Just one more unpleasant encounter and she'd be free to go back to her own life, such as it was, to lick her wounds and to try to figure out what to do with her future. She didn't owe the woman anything; she owed this to herself. To face the mess she'd made head-on, so she could start over with a truly clean slate.
When Quistis finally appeared around a bend and walked over to her with that ever confident stride, Rinoa wondered if the woman had ever been caught unawares and looking anything less than perfect. Now as well, Quistis was the picture of competence and understated elegance, her SeeD uniform and low-heeled boots adding a martial touch to her upswept hair and flawless beauty.
"Sorry about the tardiness," Quistis announced her arrival, speaking in a tone that betrayed little true apology. The woman sat down next to her and gave Angelo an absent-minded pat in greeting. "I was held up by General Reardon and his cohorts after the meeting. You know how it is."
Sadly, Rinoa did know, but she kept her tongue. "How did it go?" she asked politely. It was the way they always conducted their conversations; a shallow exchange where neither really cared about the other's replies.
"As well as could be expected at this stage, but I think we managed to get through to some, plant a spark of interest in others. There's money to be made after all, and political clout to be gained." When Rinoa didn't come forward with any more social pleasantries, Quistis turned a scrutinizing eye to the subdued sorceress beside her. She hadn't seen Rinoa for months, she realized. She took in the woman's longer hair, her drawn and tired eyes, and a set of magic inhibiting bangles she hadn't seen before. They were slimmer than the previous ones and could almost be mistaken as fashionable if you disregarded the fact that they were intended to prevent disaster.
"So," she spoke into the heavy silence.
"So," Rinoa mirrored, sending her an even and cool glance. "You wanted to see me. Here I am."
Quistis almost rebuked the younger woman for her discourteous tone before abruptly thinking better of it. There'd already been so many harsh words and ugly confrontations the past few days. The thought of instigating yet another made her feel tired beyond belief. Letting out a long sigh, she fixed her gaze on the park before her. "I'll be honest with you and say that I had enough drama last night to last me a long time. I hardly got any sleep mulling it all over, and after today's meeting I'm just exhausted." She shook her head, recalling just how thoroughly she'd been stonewalled the night before. "Why do those two always have to make things so damned difficult?"
So the usually astute headmistress hadn't pieced things together yet. Rinoa considered that bit of information as she replied. "They're both very stupid at times. But they're also good men, and they're trying."
Quistis huffed as she turned her gaze to Rinoa. "And should I extend that excuse to you as well?"
And there it was. "I know I could've handled things a lot better than I did, but I'm also the one who was in a relationship with Squall," she said firmly, having rehearsed the words in her mind. "No matter how entitled you feel about being a part of his life, what Squall and I had and how we chose to end it was private. It didn't involve you."
Quistis remained silent for a moment, her lips sloping downwards at the corners. "Rinoa, I thought I made it clear to you that my interest in Squall back then was a misguided one. I never begrudged you your relationship with him."
"Didn't you?"
"No," Quistis countered, her expression growing tight with disapproval. "I never thought you two were particularly compatible, but jealousy had nothing to do with it. I moved on from that childhood crush a long time ago. I tried hard to be nothing but supportive, even when you two made that damned near impossible." She sent her another glare before looking stiffly ahead at the people passing by. "I'd always hoped you'd let my past embarrassments stay in the past… Do I really seem that petty to you?"
Rinoa faltered, the heartfelt words managing to make her feel somewhat guilty. "All I know is that you never liked me."
Quistis snorted before pointing out, "And you never liked me. Should I then immediately suppose that's because you were jealous of my friendship with Squall?"
Not about to admit that sometimes she'd been very jealous indeed when Squall had spent another long night with the woman pouring over mission details or briefings, Rinoa wondered if she'd been the one to treat Quistis unfairly. She'd been so uncertain in her relationship with Squall that Quistis's poorly veiled doubts had seemed like another threat to their already fragile balance.
Sighing at the lack of a reply, Quistis tried not to let her hurt pride derail the conversation. "I'd like to think that we both respect each other enough to admit that our discordance has nothing to do with Squall."
Rinoa looked up at the statement that painted them on an equal footing. "You always had plenty of opinions about Squall and me."
"I have opinions about everything," Quistis pointed out tartly. "Especially about my friends. I could tell you two were spiraling and when you moved to Esthar, far away from anyone who knows you two, I was concerned. I don't think either of you showed a great deal of good judgment up to that point, and clearly you haven't since either."
"You don't understand!" Rinoa burst out, hating how her throat closed up with emotion while Quistis was sitting primly and composed. "It was our last chance to make things work. I hoped that if he spent more time away from Garden, we'd get the breathing room we needed to work through our problems. When he offered to move here with me, it was the first time he ever sacrificed something for me. For us." She drew in a shaking breath, unsure why it mattered so much for Quistis to consider her side of the story. "Our quarters in Balamb Garden were never a safe haven, just for the two of us. Any moment he could be called away, by you or the others, by missions, by whatever urgent matter that cropped up next. He was never off the clock. You know him. Duty first, always."
"What did you expect?" Quistis asked with an eyebrow arched high, unable to understand such selfishness. "He's the SeeD Commander. He has responsibilities."
"He wasn't the SeeD Commander when I first fell in love with him," Rinoa replied quietly. "He was my boyfriend and I saw him once every few weeks if I was lucky. If I was really lucky, we'd be alone without anyone of the gang there. It's not a lot for a relationship to subsist on, Quistis. I needed more than that."
Frowning, Quistis didn't much like the implication that somehow their gang had actively tried to get in Squall and Rinoa's way. "It's not fair for you to blame his friends or his job. Squall chose this life, and you chose him."
"So then you're aware he deliberately chose to spend long hours in his office or that he chose to take you guys up on hanging out, just to avoid me?" Rinoa said evenly, watching Quistis's reaction. She'd always wondered if the gang had known just how little Squall had loved her.
Speechless, Quistis regarded the distraught woman beside her with a small frown. She'd never really spared much thought to the workings of their relationship, never really caring how they spent their time together, but it sounded exactly like something Squall would do. "…I didn't know."
"We didn't stand a chance as long as you and the others were there to provide him with hundreds of excuses not to come back to our quarters. It wasn't just the missions. You know he hardly ever took any leave, even when he easily could have. I had to make him face me."
Quistis's frown grew at the litany, her compassion dwindling as she recalled some of what Seifer had told her. There was one glaring flaw in the woman's explanations. "If you loved him so much, then why did you cheat on him?"
Blindsided by the accusation, Rinoa stared at the woman. "He said that?"
"Seifer did," Quistis corrected, her anger flaring again at Rinoa's injured tone. "He saw you walk out on Squall with another man. Are you telling me that didn't happen?"
"Squall and I broke up months ago—"
"So Squall told me. He might buy that excuse, but we both know better," Quistis interrupted. "He still came running, and you still hoped to keep him by your side." Rinoa's tongue-tied expression did nothing to mollify her. "So then why? How many times did you lead him on with the knight spiel, while you were looking elsewhere?"
Face crumpling, Rinoa tried not to feel put out with Seifer for tattling. There was a point in everyone's life where they had to own up to their actions. Hyne knew Squall would never hold her accountable. "I guess I wanted to test him. To see how he'd react. If he'd get jealous. If he'd fight for me, the way I tried to fight for him," she confessed, looking away. "He didn't. Not even once."
Quistis scowled at the childish reasoning. "No matter how lacking you think his affections were, he didn't deserve that."
"I know," came the heartfelt reply. "I made a lot of mistakes."
"You did," Quistis rebuked in clipped tones. Infidelity was the least of the woman's transgressions. "Some graver than others."
Rinoa winced at the chill reply she should have expected. She wished she could deny the implied accusation and say she'd never hurt Squall at all. "Will you ever forgive me for that day?"
Quistis stiffened and glanced away. She'd never forget how she'd been called to the infirmary by a panicking Zell, would never forget the sight of Kadowaki's gloved hands drenched in blood as she frantically worked on Squall's back. They'd had to set up an IV for blood transfusions, something that was rarely necessary because of curative magic. "Squall already has, so I see no point in holding grudges."
Letting the lie slip, Rinoa fell silent and patted Angelo when the dog placed her head on Rinoa's lap with a soft whine. Quistis's silence roiled with judgment and racing thoughts, warning her the conversation was far from over. She waited for the woman to regain her calm, and steeled herself against the barbs of her coming words.
It took immense effort for Quistis to steer her thoughts away from that awful day. She'd wanted to yell at Rinoa then as well, but the sorceress had been a blubbering, crying mess, unable to process any of her questions or demands. Zell had been the one to steer her away from the distraught woman. Everything had changed that day. Inexplicably, the moment Squall had recovered, he'd declared to all that Rinoa and he were moving to Esthar.
A lot of good it did them.
Rinoa's reasons did nothing to placate her. If their relationship had been that much of an uphill struggle, then they should've broken up ages ago. It seemed beyond naïve that Rinoa had believed a move to another city or flirting with other men could fix it all. If anything, it sounded like Squall hadn't been all that interested in romance, only maintaining the knight part of their relationship. It fit the man's self-sacrificing stupidity to a T.
At least it was over now, she tried to soothe herself. Their short time living together in Esthar, however misguided, had been the last spasms of a dying relationship. As terribly as it had come to an end, with far too many unnecessary risks and injuries to her commander and friend, Squall was finally free of her. Rinoa would never hurt him again.
She knew she was being harsh and unfair, understood all too well the unprecedented circumstances that had shaped Rinoa against the woman's will, but she still had trouble letting go. It seemed Squall was the most sensitive and forgiving one of them all. Her first instinct had been to lash out at both Seifer and Rinoa, but Squall had extended his hand to them and had tried to help them. Was still trying to help them.
"What's your take on Seifer?"
The question that broke the long silence caused Rinoa's eyebrows to climb high as she met Quistis's dissecting gaze. "I thought you wanted to talk about how Squall and I broke the bond."
"I suppose that was my initial intent, but Squall and Seifer already bludgeoned me with their stubborn reasoning and lack of remorse. You three made a fine mess together. If he'd lost his magic—" Quistis cut herself short, forcing the anger out of her voice. "I might have been less accommodating if he'd suffered any permanent damage, but I'm tired of talking about it. I'm tired of people telling me it's none of my business."
Now there was a novel and welcome thought; the woman realizing when to hold back. Rinoa tried not to show her relief too openly. When Quistis looked at her expectantly, she sighed and considered what to say. "You saw Seifer yourself. You talked with him. I doubt you need my input to make up your mind."
"It was confronting," Quistis said slowly, regretful of how she'd stormed into that reunion, full of righteous anger and distrust. "He's very different from how I remember him."
Recalling Seifer's replies to Odine's questions and all the suspicions they had triggered, Rinoa fortified herself against the return of sorrow and guilt. "He went through things you can't even imagine. Of course he's different."
Quistis's sharp gaze locked onto her face. "So you agree with Squall's theory then? That Ultimecia controlled his actions?"
Rinoa frowned at the woman's raised eyebrow and the doubtful way in which she posed the question. "Of course I do, and if you don't, you're not as smart as I thought."
"I believe them. It's just that I've been getting conflicting impressions from you," Quistis said calmly, studying Rinoa's reactions. The woman was already getting agitated. "Everyone's been telling me that you're the one who came up with the idea that Squall should stay with Seifer for his recovery, but every time I mention Seifer's name, you tense up. It was the same thing over the phone a few days ago. I didn't know Squall's mystery friend was Seifer at the time, but even then you didn't sound like you liked him very much. I thought that maybe you were unsure about him."
Gritting her teeth, Rinoa forced herself to meet Quistis's gaze without flinching. "I know firsthand what it's like to be used by a sorceress. I accompanied him this morning for his appointment at Odine's lab. I'm not unsure about anything at all."
"He went to see Odine?" Quistis asked, straightening at that new bit of information. "And you went with him?"
"I did. Squall asked me to. He couldn't go himself, because of the meeting."
Quistis raised an eyebrow. Squall and Rinoa still had to be close for the prideful man to ask her for help, and for Rinoa to agree to it. Or perhaps they were able to set aside any disagreement for Seifer's sake. Rinoa had dated the arrogant cadet long before she'd started to date Squall after all. She shook her head, wondering how someone as solitary as Squall had become embroiled in such a tangled web.
"What did Odine say?" she demanded. "How come I didn't know about this?"
Stifling the petty stab of satisfaction at Quistis's ignorance, Rinoa kept her voice even and unassuming. "They didn't tell you they're training together? That Seifer's magic was affected as well?"
"Squall mentioned it briefly. I didn't know it was bad enough for Seifer to go in and see Odine as well."
Rinoa nodded, trying to find common ground in the fact that they both cared for Seifer. Quistis's voice was full of concern, which was a good sign. Seifer needed people on his side, to champion his cause even if the man wouldn't himself. "He's in good shape, physically and magically. Odine's pills are working for him too."
"That's a relief," Quistis said slowly, growing thoughtful. When Squall had told her he was retraining his magic together with Seifer, she hadn't really considered what that meant, too distracted by her anger. She tried to imagine it now; how for over two years Seifer hadn't had any access to treatment. The longer she thought about the price Seifer had paid for the war, the more she started to realize just how horribly they'd all failed him. "You know about Winhill as well then?"
Rinoa let out a deep breath. "I do," she said with a nod. Turning to regard Quistis closely, Rinoa could read the woman's guilty conscience in the tense lines of her face and shoulders. "I hope it won't be too little too late. He should've gotten help a long time ago," she stated soberly. "But people tend to need scapegoats. I guess it makes complicated situations easier to deal with."
Quistis looked away, her heart falling. "I suppose I deserved that," she said quietly. "I haven't done right by either of you, have I?"
"No," Rinoa said flatly, before tempering her words. "But I understand. I wasn't sure about Seifer at first either. What he did to me during the war… to Squall… It isn't always easy to see the truth past your own hurt and fear." She looked at Quistis until the woman met her gaze. "So I understand why you doubt me. But here's the thing. There is no normal after Ultimecia. The things I've done, the things Seifer has done… It's hurt us just as deeply." She let out a trembling breath, petting Angelo to pacify the dog's concerned whining. "Please look after Seifer. Don't give up on him."
Accepting the truth of Rinoa's words, Quistis strengthened her resolve. "I promise."
They sat together in silence for a while, some of the tension between them easing. Quistis wished they could leave things off like that and part somewhat amicably, but she couldn't stop certain suspicions from racing through her head. If Seifer had just been stringing her along with his flirtatious remarks about Squall, then the man was doing a very convincing job of it. She'd hoped for Rinoa's responses to shed some light on matters, but the woman seemed only supportive of Seifer.
"Is Seifer the reason you and Squall broke the bond?" she asked bluntly, unable to phrase the outrageous suspicion any more subtly.
Tensing, Rinoa felt all blood leave her face. "Why would he be?"
Grimacing at Rinoa's offended incredulity, Quistis rushed to explain. "I apologize if it's a callous question and I know I'm probably just imagining things, but there are just some things that made it seem like—well, like they are involved somehow. But that's crazy, I know…" Quistis trailed off as Rinoa's face grew increasingly ashen and hurt, the woman looking stiffly away from her. "No."
"Yes," Rinoa countered in a tight voice, refusing to lie to the woman when the whole point of this conversation was to clear the air. Quistis wasn't a fool. Of course the woman would catch on after spending time with both men. It wasn't Rinoa's fault they hadn't been discreet, nor was it her responsibility to cover for them.
"Squall and Seifer? Really?" Quistis exclaimed, blindsided by the confirmation when she'd been expecting annoyed denial. Too late she realized her rudeness, reminded of who she was talking to when Rinoa stared at her with pained eyes. "Hyne, I'm so sorry. I honestly didn't think—" Failing to find words, she shook her head, perplexed.
"We didn't break the bond because of Seifer," Rinoa said, the words like dry sand in her mouth. It was probably her declaration that she wanted to sever their bond that had driven Squall to seek comfort in the man's arms in the first place. Her ploy to shock Squall out of his complacency had backfired spectacularly, and she only had herself to blame. "Seifer was there to pick up the pieces, I suppose."
Unconvinced, Quistis started to speak but then she suddenly realized the incomprehensible love triangle that was at work. Squall Leonhart, in a love triangle that involved Seifer Almasy of all people. It seemed beyond surreal. How had the two men even found the time to start something? They'd only just met again, and Squall had been with Rinoa until very recently. "Were they involved before? Back at Garden?"
Rinoa masked her feelings and held Quistis's gaze evenly. "I've said all I'm going to say on the matter. Whatever you want to know, you'll have to ask them." Standing up, she smoothed the creases from her jacket and looped her hand around Angelo's leash. "One piece of advice. Back off. Let them figure things out for themselves."
Biting back the urge to protest, Quistis watched as the young sorceress turned and hastened away with an urgency that betrayed her need to escape scrutinizing eyes. Angelo trotted beside her, keeping protectively close to her distraught mistress. Definitely not over Squall yet.
Leaning back against the bench when Rinoa disappeared from sight, she tried and failed to rearrange all she'd thought she'd known about her two most troublesome cadets. So many times she'd seen them fight with a ferocity that had seemed to speak only of ill feelings. She'd had to step in and break them up more than once. She'd seen them locked in deadly battle, so afraid to see either one of them die.
But more recently she'd also witnessed the teasing banter and easy conversation between them. The obvious concern and respect they held for one another. The heartbreakingly honest resolve to help each other recover from their fraught past. They'd been sharing a bed also, she recalled with a flush to her cheeks. Suddenly all of Seifer's daring remarks and messages were colored with the realization that the man had probably been one hundred percent serious.
Hyne. She wasn't sure whether to expect disaster or a happy ending for them. Their destructive track record sure suggested the former as the more likely path, and she wondered if they'd be able to beat such odds or if they even had the inclination to. She hadn't been able to shake the feeling that both men were at the end of their rope, much in need of some healing and happiness. It was beyond strange for them to be seeking such things in one another. That fact was somehow far more shocking and hard to imagine than the revelation that Squall swung both ways. Bemused, she let out a soft snort at the bizarre thought that Squall might actually have a type: lively and outgoing. Who knew.
She'd just have to observe them more closely the next time she saw them, on the off chance that they might actually be good for each other. From what she'd witnessed it might just be true, and she definitely had several tricks up her sleeve to push them in the right direction. In fact, those two dating might actually improve her chances of reenlisting Seifer and reintroducing the blond into the gang. After all, who didn't want to spend more time with their partner?
Pleased with her plans, she stood up from the bench and stretched in the warm sunlight. Those sneaky bastards. She found herself smiling despite all the unnecessary subterfuge and lies, despite all the worries that still plagued her. Life was weird and had a tendency of throwing her curve balls, but this one she could work with.
~ o ~
[Fisherman's Horizon, Tuesday, 28th of October, 14:55 pm]
As the train pulled into Fisherman's Horizon with a sharp whine of brakes, Squall woke up to find all of his foot space taken over by a comfortably sprawled blond. Acutely aware of the cramped confines he'd been trapped in, he straightened in his seat to stretch sore muscles. When Seifer slowly stirred from his sleep as well, Squall's annoyance was met by a playful wink and a nudge to his shins, the bastard's smile only broadening at the unimpressed look he sent the man's way. Around them passengers were starting to slip into their coats and collecting their belongings.
Seifer stood up from his seat and rolled his muscles to try and dislodge a kink that had crept into his back. His stomach gave an insistent growl as they moved to gather their things. Unfortunately there was no satisfying meal waiting for them. The sandwiches he'd bought had most likely suffered during the trip and the water would be lukewarm by now.
"Fuck, I'm hungry," he announced through a yawn. "How long is the layover?"
Squall looked up at the question, his bag slung over his shoulder and his gunblade case in hand. "Almost an hour." His gaze moved to the window. He couldn't see the ocean from here, but he itched with the need to stretch his legs and get some fresh air.
"Let's get out of here," Seifer said, grabbing his jacket.
Squall nodded and zipped up his leather jacket as they walked to the exit. The wind was always brisk in Fisherman's Horizon. When they emerged onto the platform, he drew in a deep breath of the briny sea air before he led them through the small station. Despite the expansion of train connections since Esthar's opening, FH's station had hardly any facilities to speak of. He had a better place in mind.
After they stowed their things in a locker, he led them away from the small stream of disembarked passengers that flowed towards the city center and instead took them towards the nearest edge of Fisherman's Horizon. After a few streets and a walkway they came to a 'no entry' sign and a low fence that did nothing to impede their passage. He guided them up two sets of metal stairs that clung precariously to the inside of the massive steel bulwark enclosing the floating city, taking them to the top of the large structure that offered a view of the ocean that stretched for miles.
Seifer whistled lowly in appreciation as he looked out over the horizon and the sheer drop that was only a few steps away. Absolutely stunning, but not nearly as enticing as the view next to him. And they were finally alone. When Squall turned to look at him, he let his gaze slowly peruse the man and took in those serious eyes and slightly knitted eyebrows. There was still an uncertainty to the man's expression, and he knew he only had himself to blame for it. Pulling Squall close, he kissed the man.
Drawn into the kiss, Squall suddenly felt the weight of every hour that had passed since their last one. Only now did he realize how much he'd needed Seifer to do this. All his senses focused on how Seifer kissed him deeply, the touch restoring what a thousand flirtatious texts couldn't. Winding his arms around Seifer's back, he let the man pull him even closer. He returned every single move with equal passion, quickly growing lightheaded.
They kissed like that for a while, until Seifer felt every last remnant of tension in Squall's body disentangle. Moving back, he smiled at the sight presented by one dazed looking brunet. "So fucking perfect," he said lowly, the quirk of his lips turning into a fully fledged lopsided smirk. He wished to Hyne he could get away with more, but they were too exposed, in plain view of several fishermen who had set up for the day on a ledge further down, a quarter mile to their east, equally unimpressed with the warnings not to climb the bulwark. He walked over to the widest section of their own ledge to sit down and looked back out over the sea, taking in a deep breath as he took in the view.
Joining Seifer after a moment of regaining his composure, Squall moved to sit down beside the man and briefly watched as Seifer lifted the bag he'd brought with from his shoulder to rifle through it. Looking away, Squall stared into the distance with a renewed sense of courage. All because of a kiss.
It was a beautiful day. The sky was a clear stretch of blue, a flock of seagulls milling about high above them, their calls a distant ruckus. Strong gusts of wind tugged at his hair and jacket, filling his lungs with crisp, clean air. He loved this place. He'd discovered it during one of his longer layovers, a year ago now. It had proved the ideal spot to try and find some peace of mind when he'd been on his way through to see Rinoa. Something about the vast expanse of water, the knowledge that nothing but a wall of steel was holding back the forces of nature… It made his problems seem less pressing and insurmountable somehow.
He glanced beside him when Seifer held out a sandwich and a bottle of water. They ate together in silence, their peace only briefly disturbed by a seagull's attempt to steal their lunch. Squall couldn't help a small smile from curling his lips when Seifer sent the unfortunate creature fleeing with a curse and a well-aimed Fire spell. They were left alone after that.
After their humble meal Seifer moved to lay on his back, arms crossed beneath his head and snoozing. Squall regarded him briefly before looking back out over the deep blue waters and skies. The crash of waves far below them. The scent of the ocean. The strong, chill wind that stung his face despite the brightly burning sun.
Looking over to the fishermen, he wondered what kind of lives they led to come here every day, their time filled up with idleness, interrupted only by the occasional bout of activity when something snatched their bait. An easy, indolent life. Peaceful and enviable as it might look to him now, he also knew he'd find it mind-numbingly boring.
The confinement in Seifer's apartment and the time spent away from the field had chafed at him whenever Seifer hadn't been around to provide distraction. Idleness didn't suit him. Despite the inconvenience and long hours of traveling by train, being out on the road again made him feel a little more like himself. To see sights he hadn't just seen the day before. To be doing something more worthwhile than paperwork or trailing after Seifer while the man went about his life.
He let out a soft breath. It would be both rewarding and hard to go back to his missions after his time in Esthar. Harder than ever before.
Ever since the war his career had been an excuse to keep going, to never stop and think and just process for once. He hadn't known how until the broken bond had forced him to. Just a few weeks ago he'd been an incorrigible workaholic, relentless in his drive no matter the cost to his personal relationships. Now... Now he feared what would happen if he made those same mistakes again.
Fighting the urge to look at Seifer again, he breathed in deeply and studied the ocean. The water was ever moving, ever in turmoil, the winds sweeping its surface, but there was a permanence, a stillness that slumbered in its depths. He tried to be still as well, to take enjoyment simply from the pleasant weather, his satiated stomach, Seifer's solid presence by his side.
For a while, it was enough. He looked out over the waters, listened to the lullaby of waves and wind, and felt himself grow calm. Time passed all too quickly like that as he sat thinking of nothing in particular. When the sun crept past the point he'd marked for himself, he checked the time on his phone and repressed a sigh.
"Time to go," he said, getting onto his feet and grabbing his things.
Pulled from his pleasant daydreaming, Seifer pushed himself up into a sitting position. The light dozing while the sun and wind had nipped at him had greatly enhanced his mood. The sandwich and water had helped considerably too. He actually felt refreshed. Looking out at the ocean, he took in the stunning view one final time before getting up to stand next to Squall. When the man started to lead them back the same way they'd come, he followed in silence.
As they made it closer to the station, he glanced at Squall. It would only be a couple of minutes before they'd be back aboard the train with no chance of instigating anything for hours, and the kiss on top of the bulwark had been far too brief and chaste. He took in their surroundings a bit more carefully. Not many people were about, but for what he had in mind, they'd need somewhere away from prying eyes.
The moment he spotted a deserted alleyway, he grabbed hold of Squall's wrist and dragged him off. Squall followed without protest, and when they came to a stop face to face, the man looked up at him expectantly. No surprise, and no more uncertainty. Smirking, Seifer surged forward, his lips immediately finding Squall's.
After the relief of Seifer's earlier kiss, Squall was more than willing to reaffirm their connection with something a little more hands-on. His palms slid across the thick knots of muscle in Seifer's back, his fingers curling into the man's shirt and urging him as close as possible. In just a short few days, his body had learned to react to the feel and scent of Seifer's body with the same sensory alacrity that usually overtook him during battle. Instinct drove him to inhale Seifer's scent deeply, to press up and roll his hips and draw the man's tongue in deeper.
Pushing Squall up against the nearest wall, Seifer planted one of his legs firmly in between Squall's and ground into him forcefully. It was maddening to have Squall like this, all eager and rough. They fought for dominance, their tongues and lips interlocking in an intoxicating play. At the feel of Squall's length growing hard against him, he was quickly losing all notion of restraint, location be damned. He thrust down both of his hands to grasp hold of Squall's perfect ass, kneading greedily.
"Get a room!" a voice called out from not far away, causing Squall to stiffen in his hold mid-grind.
Breaking their kiss and looking over at the passerby, Seifer yelled back in reply, "Enjoying the show?"
The guy just rolled his eyes and walked on, out of sight. Letting out a groan as their surroundings fully registered with him again, Seifer looked back down at the sexy brunet still locked in his arms. One look was enough to know Squall wouldn't be tempted into continuing the exchange, despite the man's very aroused state. His own pants were just as uncomfortably tight, demanding his need be satisfied. "Fuck," he cursed, holding on to the mortified brunet for a moment longer. "Can't believe we'll have to behave for another three hours."
Agreeing wholeheartedly with Seifer's complaint, Squall tried to calm the fire in his veins, a near impossible task while the blond was still pressed up against him. "We'll miss the train," he said in dissuasion when Seifer's eyes dropped to his lips, one of the man's hands sneaking further underneath his shirt.
The only reply he received was a gruff sigh and a lingering kiss that tested the limits of his restraint. When he pushed against Seifer's chest, the man reluctantly stepped back, but not without giving him a thorough once over. Ignoring Seifer's gaze, he tugged down his jacket where it had ridden up and walked back towards the street they'd abandoned once he was reasonably certain his state of arousal was no longer glaringly obvious.
Grudgingly, Seifer followed after the pert ass that was walking away from him. At least he could still easily strip the brunet with his eyes. Not that it would do him or his libido much good. His pants were still far too restrictive and as long as he kept imagining what he'd do to Squall the next time they were alone, there was no way it'd abate. "How long is our next layover?" he asked, hoping they'd have time to find somewhere secluded then. A room with an hourly rate if they were lucky.
"Ten minutes," Squall replied, glancing at the blond. "Our connection in Timber leaves at eight."
Seifer grimaced. That wouldn't leave them any opportunity at all to fit in some fooling around, and they still had more than two-thirds of their journey ahead of them. Hours of being cooped up on smelly trains and unable to get close to Squall. "I hate trains."
Squall hummed his agreement, not eager to return to the confinement of his narrow seat. "I'm booking SeeD compartments for the way back," he announced gruffly. As much as he knew this was his own fault for not telling Quistis the truth before, nothing stood in his way to at least get a little more space and comfort on the return trip.
"They much better?"
"Enough space for you not to get in mine," Squall answered with a quirked eyebrow.
Seifer's lips tugged into a lopsided grin. "If they're private, I'll definitely get in your space,"
"I don't have to allow you access," Squall reminded dryly, keeping his expression unfazed.
"Yet we both know you will," Seifer teased. "Don't try and deny it, you've got it bad for the Almasy goods."
Rolling his eyes, Squall tried not to consider just how worrisome the statement was.
"What time are we arriving in Winhill again?"
"Past midnight."
Seifer hummed lowly in acknowledgement. He didn't look forward to the rest of the day one bit. "And Ellone is picking us up at the station?"
"She is. Should be a thirty minute drive."
Furrowing his brow, Seifer felt a sense of foreboding. Those were going to be thirty awkward minutes from hell. Trapped in a car with someone he had wronged and was meeting for the first time in ages. Hyne, why had he thought this was a good idea again? "We staying at hers?"
Looking at Seifer more thoughtfully, Squall wondered whether Seifer was uneasy about meeting Ellone. "She has a guest room we can use."
"Alright." At least there'd be an upside to them arriving in Winhill. They'd have some privacy again. "We'll have to make up for all these hours of celibacy."
Squall wished he could state with certainty that they wouldn't do anything of the sort under Ellone's roof, but his experience at the palace had taught him more about himself than he'd ever expected to learn. The most he could hope for now was that they would manage to be discreet. Meeting Seifer's gaze, he couldn't bring himself to utter a single word of dissuasion.
Smiling smugly at Squall's very telling silence, Seifer was already planning ahead. They'd have to be quiet, but there were always ways to work around that and he needed to feel Squall against him before they went ahead with their plan. In fact, if he had anything to say about it, it would be another late night. All the more reason to catch all the sleep they could get while on the train.
When they approached the station, he looked about him and committed their time in Fisherman's Horizon to memory. He was certain Squall had shared a favored, private spot with him, giving him a rare glance into the man's inner workings. A stunning ocean view and no one around to bother them.
A perfect moment of reprieve.
~ o ~