Chapter Forty - New Beginnings
[The Sleeping Lion, Winhill, Thursday, 30th of October, 2:02 pm]
Ellone sighed as another expectant customer stood frowning at the closed sign she'd put up at the pub's door before peering inside the dark interior. She'd seated herself upstairs in her living room, by a window that looked down onto the town square and where curious passersby wouldn't be able to spot her. She hadn't been able to think of an explanation to give any of them and she'd quickly abandoned puttering around the pub when some concerned folk had knocked on the window to try and catch her attention. She'd only been pretending to be industrious anyway, in an attempt to distract herself from her worries.
So now she sat by her window, leafing through one of Uncle Laguna's journals with only half an eye. It had been a long time since she'd been this on edge, with nothing else to do but wait. It reminded her of the times Raine had sat by this very window, highly pregnant and silently pining for someone who'd never come back for her.
It had been like that all morning, since Seifer's panicked flight from her home. Memories of the past had been weaving in and out of her thoughts, filling her with a wistfulness she managed to overcome most days. She should have known that raking up the past would only make things worse. It always had. But she'd been so glad Squall had asked her for help, so eager to prove herself as only a sister could.
Whatever had happened after she'd left them to talk, it hadn't gone well. She'd overheard elevated voices for a while, but those had died down. She'd hoped at the time that meant they'd talked things through. Finding Seifer passed out on her couch had quickly corrected that hopeful assumption. One night he'd been snuggled up with her brother for sleep, so clearly in love. The next he'd drunk himself unconscious, while Squall had walked out on them. Her powers had wrought that horrible change.
Squaring her jaw, she fought down the tears that wanted to run freely. She'd been able to piece together some of what they'd seen last night in those memories, rehashing over and over all they'd said to one another. Seifer had been hurt so badly. She could scarcely believe the drunk she'd herded out of her couch that morning was the same lively man that had tended her bar just the day before. If she hadn't known him as she did, his behavior would have frightened her. The smashed tile and blood she'd found in her shower hadn't done anything to reassure her either.
After that discovery, she'd decided to keep the pub closed for the day. She had no idea what state Seifer would be in when he returned and had judged it for the best that he be kept at a distance from anyone less understanding than herself. She glanced at the clock and sighed again. Seifer had been away for hours already. She wasn't sure whether to consider that a good sign or a bad one. It was only a half an hour drive to the train platform, so he should've been back hours ago, whether he'd intercepted Squall or not. Was he alone somewhere, freaking out? Had he found Squall?
Disappointment welled up in her again. How could Squall have left, never even thinking to talk to her first? She couldn't think of anything that might justify such a selfish choice, especially in light of what they'd intended to do and prove. When Seifer brought him back here, she'd have some stern words for him.
If Seifer brought him back.
Looking down at the book in her hands, she lifted her hand from the page that had wrinkled in her clutching hold and set the useless distraction aside on the side table. If they were going to keep her waiting, then she might as well do something useful. Seifer had dashed outside without breakfast, and her aggravating little brother would be hungry as well. There were no food stalls or diners out here, her pub the only place for miles where people might eat something they hadn't cooked themselves.
She strode into her little kitchen, pulled ingredients from her pantry and fridge and got to work, stubbornly refusing the thought that she might be preparing all this food in vain. She'd always loved to cook, taking pleasure in the calming ritual of cutting ingredients and stirring pots. By the time she'd filled up the first casserole pan, ready to pop into the oven at a moment's notice, she felt much calmer and prepared.
She was layering the second one with meat and sauce, adding spices and tasting, when she heard the distant sound of a sputtering engine. She'd recognize that sound anywhere. Hurrying out of her kitchen, she could hear the doors of her pickup slamming closed when she was halfway down the stairs. Both doors!
Rushing to the entrance of the pub, she yanked open the door and stared at the two men that had seen fit to worry her all morning. The lecturing she'd planned died on her tongue as she took in their disheveled appearance. Squall's clothes were stained with dirt and grass, his hair even unrulier than usual. And Seifer…
"Where's your shirt?" she asked, eyebrows rising high as they approached.
Holding back the quip he was dying to speak, Seifer walked closer. "Had to take it off," he supplied simply, knowing she'd connect the dots soon enough. She had to have been worried, the way she'd hurried out to greet them, a forgotten cooking spoon held tightly in her hand betraying as much. "Sorry for the rough morning."
Speechless for an additional few seconds, Ellone stepped aside when she spotted several curious faces turning their way. "Come on, get inside," she urged, her eyebrows climbing further as both men filed past her. Seifer had what looked like a nasty bruise just off his right temple and another one along his throat, and a myriad of red scratches and welts peppered his face and arms. What clothes he still wore were nearly as dirtied as Squall's, both of them stained in peculiar and telltale ways. She'd seen it often enough on Winhill's youths as they slunk back into town, full of smiles and drunk on puppy love. It just seemed too unlike her brother to fit. She waited until she closed the door behind her before speaking again.
"What happened?"
A large lopsided smirk grew on Seifer's lips. There was no way he could contain his glee, despite Ellone's concern. "We made up."
Ellone blinked at Seifer's drastically improved mood, his smile far too incongruous with his injuries, before turning her gaze to her seemingly unharmed brother. Squall met her gaze noncommittally, not even attempting to add to Seifer's statement or explain their conspicuous appearance. Hyne, the local rumor mill would be in a tizzy after this. Fighting against the blush that threatened to color her cheeks, she kept her gaze strictly on Seifer's face.
"Why are you hurt?" she asked worriedly, stepping closer to inspect the bruise that discolored Seifer's temple.
"It's nothing. My own fault."
Ellone frowned at the evasive reply. Seifer's cheer had lessened some at her question, and Squall was standing far too stiffly. Both men looked guilty, just as they had as little boys when they'd shown up at the orphanage with split lips and scuffed knees. Only Squall wasn't hurt this time. "Did you two fight?"
"We did," Seifer admitted, not proud of what he'd done at all. "I was fucking livid after chasing him down. Needed Squall to knock some sense into me."
None too happy with the explanation, Ellone glanced at her brother and his lack of injuries. He must've healed himself then. Not liking the thought one bit, she raised a hand to examine Seifer's bruise and ignored his wince. "I don't think I like your way of making up," she said with a soft sigh. "To think for a second there I thought you two had a roll in the fields—" Catching herself, she cursed her distracted mind, but Seifer only sent her a sheepish smile. This time she blushed well and truly as her eyes darted to Squall, the man's expression incriminatingly even.
"Don't tell me you've never heard of make-up sex," Seifer remarked with a teasing smirk.
Hearing her initial suspicions confirmed, Ellone couldn't immediately think of something to say that wouldn't lead to her blushing even more fiercely. A glimpse of her brother told her he was highly unimpressed with the remark, but he still wasn't denying anything. At least she could be done with any ruses then. "Not preceded by a brawl, I haven't," she said with a shake of the head, pretending like her face wasn't a burning furnace. "You two had me worried sick."
Seifer nodded softly. "I know."
The simple acknowledgment soothed Ellone some, but Squall's continued silence kept her from letting go of her concern entirely. She still didn't know what had happened the night before; how things had gotten dire enough for Squall to deem it necessary to leave. She held her brother's gaze, trying to coax some comment out of him, but his lips remained locked. She sighed. "I just wish you would've told us you were leaving. A note. Something." Her hands clenched as she recalled Seifer's distress upon discovering Squall's disappearance. "I was sure my powers ruined everything again."
Feeling a stab of guilt, Squall knew Ellone was right to be angry, but he couldn't imagine actually having told her anything. He'd needed to escape so badly, he hadn't spared her a single thought. Even now he wanted to say it wasn't any of her business, but he couldn't, not when they owed her so much. "They didn't."
Seifer scratched at the back of his neck, then glanced at Squall before adding his own two cents. "What you showed us was rough, but it proved Ultimecia's to blame. I'm not saying it'll be easy,but I would never have known if it wasn't for you."
Ellone's eyes misted over at Seifer's words. "I knew it from the start." She wasn't sure what she would've done if Seifer hadn't gotten the assurance he needed, if her powers had just made things worse. Exorcising the dark thoughts that had been running through her head all morning, she found a smile for the two exasperating men before her. "Hyne, I'm so glad you two worked things out." She pointed a shaky spoon at them. "Shame on you both for putting me through the wringer like this."
Seifer smiled in return, heartened by her words and her faith in him. "We had a lot to figure out," he said softly, then turned on the charm. "How can we make it up to you?"
Almost pulled in by Seifer's smooth talking ways, Ellone put her hands on her hips. "You can start by not tracking in all that dirt on your shoes. You're both covered in filth!" Ruining the stern reprimand with a curl to her lips, she waved them towards the stairs. "Go wash up while I get lunch ready. You must both be starving."
"Yes, Ma'am," Seifer said, kicking off his boots before walking towards the stairs.
When Ellone fixed him with an expectant stare as well, Squall quickly toed off his shoes and let himself be herded up the stairs after Seifer. Just like that, Ellone had forgiven them, returning to her mother hen ways without a second thought. It left him bewildered and feeling guilty. Another discomfiting surprise was the relief he felt at her easy acceptance of them, telling him he cared far more than he'd anticipated.
"Better pop your clothes in the washer right away or they'll stain," Ellone spoke behind them, lingering on the landing as they continued up. "And don't ruin my towels!" With those words she whisked off towards the kitchen, leaving them to the task she'd set them.
Following Seifer up the second set of stairs, he tried to sort out the jumble of his thoughts. So much had happened in such a short time. Unlike Seifer and Ellone, he had trouble making the shift to talking openly about any of it. It was one thing for Ellone to know about them, but another entirely for Seifer to shock her with the sordid details. Though it seemed like Ellone had recovered quickly, far less perturbed by it all than himself.
He couldn't deal with the punches quite as smoothly. Part of him was still in denial. Slowly the reality of what they'd agreed on was settling in and he still had no idea what to expect. Opening the door to the guest room, he stepped inside. His gaze lingered on the unused beds and the spot where he'd sat thinking for hours. He couldn't quite reconcile the disconnect between his mindset then and now. Sensing Seifer's scrutiny, he remembered to walk in further and set down his gunblade case and the duffel bag he'd packed in a hurry.
Seifer watched Squall move about the room, the guilty conscience he'd managed to push away reasserting itself tenfold. He hadn't missed the slight stiffening to Squall's shoulders or the brief falter in his steps. Had Squall waited up for him in here? Had he managed to catch any sleep at all before deciding to leave? The man's impromptu nap out in the fields and the pristine state of the bed linens left little doubt as to the anwer.
Shaking the unpleasant thought, he reminded himself it was behind them and that mulling it over only risked dragging him right back into yesterday's dark thoughts. Instead he walked up behind Squall and leaned in to press his lips against the nape of Squall's neck, his hands alighting softly on the man's hips to give a brief squeeze. Another promise. And apology.
Glancing behind him when Seifer pulled away wordlessly, Squall struggled to quell the rapid beating of his heart. His gaze lingered on Seifer's back as the man went to grab the two fresh bath towels Ellone had set out for them. He was quickly starting to realize he had no idea of how to behave. He'd only just gotten used to the sex. Suppressing a frown, he retrieved a change of clothes from his duffel bag and straightened to find Seifer waiting for him in the doorway.
"Come on," Seifer said, leading the way into Ellone's small bathroom. He hurried out of his stained clothes and threw them into the washing machine along with his soiled shirt. "Just throw your stuff in there. I'll get it going," he instructed with a soft smile, remembering just how clueless Squall was when it came to laundry. Realizing he might as well throw the come crusted shirt from the night they'd arrived in there too, he wrapped one of the bath towels around his waist and walked past Squall. "Gonna go grab my other shirt as well."
Alone in the bathroom, Squall finished peeling off his own clothes, the items looking even worse when gathered together in a messy pile. Glad to ignore the multitude of confusing buttons on the washing machine, he threw his clothes on top of Seifer's and headed into the shower. As he turned on the spray of water, the normality of it all suddenly struck him as strange. Their clothes washed together. The implicit understanding that Seifer would join him in the tiny shower stall. The self-evident ease of it.
When he heard Seifer reenter the bathroom, he ignored the nervous flutter of his stomach and focused on the flow of the water, the gurgle of the pipes, the soap underneath his hands. He was failing to stem his anticipation, until his eyes fell to a cracked tile. Behind him he heard Seifer fiddle with the washing machine, the man not yet joining him. He brought up a hand to touch the sharp break lines, a dark red still staining the deepest cracks despite obvious efforts to scrub it away. When had this happened?
He startled when Seifer slipped in behind him, the man's arms snaking around his waist and a deep hum of contentment brushing against his ear. Relaxing into the hold, he briefly succumbed to the feel of their naked skin pressed together before recovering himself. He reached down and lifted Seifer's right hand for inspection. The knuckles were badly cut and bruised, the flow of hot water eliciting a wince from the blond. Turning Seifer's hand further into the water, he waited until the last of caked dirt and blood was washed away before junctioning and casting a Cure.
As the blue light of the Cure faded in the small cubicle, Seifer felt every last one of his cuts and bruises tingle and disappear. He couldn't help a small frown. It was obvious enough that Squall had linked the cuts on his knuckles to the cracks on the tile, but why such an injury warranted a Cure was beyond him, especially when the added swelling was the result of punching the guy. "You're going too soft on me," he said, tightening his hold on Squall.
Frowning at the unflattering accusation, Squall corrected the man. "You're too hard on yourself."
Seifer sighed. He may finally have been able to shake some of the guilt he'd been carrying around since the war, but his transgressions since the evening before had been entirely his own. "Someone has to be."
Not liking the self-reproaching tone, Squall turned in Seifer's hold and held his gaze. "No," he said simply, before kissing the man. It was easy to do, the flutter of his nerves calming the moment their lips touched.
Closing his eyes as Squall kissed him slowly, Seifer allowed himself to be soothed by the man's steadfast presence and pushed all thoughts of cracked tiles and ugly fights from his mind in favor of kissing and caressing the man in his arms.
Very aware they were inching closer and closer to the point of no return, Squall still couldn't help himself from pressing close to Seifer's naked body, to indulge in the wet glide of his hands along the man's broad back and buttocks as they kissed. By the time they pulled apart for air, both their lengths were hard, slipping together wetly. When Seifer smiled and grabbed the soap, Squall regarded him in suspicion. The other two times Seifer had lathered him up in the shower, sex had immediately followed.
"Ellone's waiting," he dissuaded halfheartedly.
Squeezing some shower gel into his hand, Seifer didn't bother countering the rather breathless protest when they were so very clearly in agreement. Instead he slid his hand along Squall's length, eliciting a soft moan, then pressed closer until his cock was sliding against Squall's again, his hand stroking them both languidly.
Squall shuddered and gave up on the unappealing notion of stopping just when things were getting good. He stepped deeper into the spray of water, closer to Seifer's heat, close enough to feel the strong thud of Seifer's heart. Raising himself further onto his toes to make up for the difference in height, he layered his own fingers over Seifer's, their hands squeezing in tandem as they moved together through hitching breaths and gasping kisses, tipping slowly towards release.
Steadying himself by wrapping his free arm around Seifer's neck, his fingers curling into short wet hair, he was unable to completely stifle his voice. The feel of their erections sliding together with every thrust of their hips left him dizzy. Seifer's cock was hot and hard against his own, the man's hand rough and perfect.
Holding Squall's increasingly heavy-lidded gaze, Seifer gathered the brunet tightly against him and picked up the slack when Squall's hand faltered, those moist lips releasing a tell-tale sound he'd quickly learned to hunger for. Squall was close, grey-blue eyes screwing shut as he stiffened in Seifer's arms, the man's come spurting forth and coating both their hands. Seifer cursed as his gaze flicked down, his pumping hand greedily spreading the milky liquid along their lengths. Sensing Squall's hand was about to fall away, he withdrew his own and guided Squall's fingers to close around his throbbing erection. He needed Squall's touch now.
Coming back to himself as his orgasm receded, Squall needed only one lustful look from Seifer to firm his grip and resume the smooth glide of his hand. He still couldn't quite believe he was the one who could made Seifer look like this. Rough breaths, dark gaze, impatient rolls of the hips. Running his thumb over the swollen head, he ignored Seifer's obvious need and gave in to the urge to experiment, ranging from soft flutters of the fingers to firm tugs, testing Seifer's limits until the man pushed him up against the wall with a growl, his mouth claimed in a demanding kiss. Yielding, he pumped Seifer's cock with fast strokes, in time with the man's thrusts. He breathed in each of Seifer's panting moans as the man finally came in his hand.
"Fuck," Seifer cursed, his body jerking against Squall's one last time. Breathing in slowly, he relished the clean scent of Squall's skin mixing with the floral notes of the soap they had used. He grinned at the unlikely combination, recalling the arrangement of flowers in Squall's hair that morning. "You're getting way too fucking good at that."
Raising an eyebrow, Squall tried not to feel a sense of accomplishment over a comment like that. Then again, not so long ago he'd doubted he'd ever measure up. "I'm a quick study," he said boldly, drawn in by Seifer's lopsided grin, equal parts lewd and content. Somehow it was deeply satisfying when Seifer looked at him like that.
"Always have been," Seifer agreed, before tipping up Squall's chin and guiding plush lips closer to his own.
Squall allowed the proprietary touch that should've felt insolent, only it didn't. Seifer simply took what he wanted, and apparently he loved to let him. Their lips meshed in a gentle sharing, his continued participation assured by the nudge of Seifer's fingers beneath his chin. The man's two day's worth of stubble chafed him, but not nearly enough to motivate ending their kiss.
The thought of Ellone waiting for them however did.
Breaking their kiss, he summoned the resolve to end their already far too lengthy shower and reached for the shower curtain after one last look at the gleaming expanse of Seifer's wet skin. Suppressing an inappropriate expression at Seifer's knowing smirk, he kept his face even as he got out of the shower and stepped into the chill bathroom air.
"I'm heading down. You should too," he reminded when Seifer showed no signs of following.
"I will. Gonna enjoy this a bit more and then shave. You guys go ahead and get started."
Shaking his head at the predictably laidback response, Squall figured that staggering their entrances was just as well. He could do without Ellone suspecting what they'd been up to in her bathroom. Making quick work of drying off and getting dressed, he cast a quick glance in the mirror to make sure Seifer hadn't left any new tell-tale marks on him. When he turned on the sink tap to brush his teeth, he couldn't help a smile at the immediate curse that sounded from behind the shower curtain.
"Fuck, that's hot!"
"Old pipes," he excused with a quirk to his lips before rinsing his mouth and closing the tap. "You'll run out of hot water soon," he added in warning as he headed for the door.
"Got plenty of fantasies to keep me warm, Princess."
Rolling his eyes, Squall could imagine the man's lewd expression all too well, even when he couldn't see Seifer's face. It didn't help that his imagination happily added its own scenarios of what they could be getting up to instead of lunch. Steeling his resolve, he closed the bathroom door behind him and left Seifer to his extended bathroom rituals.
At the top of the landing, he took a moment to assume a proper state of mind before heading down to deal with Ellone. Too much time spent with Seifer tended to skew his train of thought towards the gutter. So far it didn't seem like their new agreement had changed things all that much. Seifer was still a hedonist, and he himself was still worrisomely susceptible to the bastard's charms. Just like before. The thought shouldn't be as reassuring as it was.
Shaking the imagery of Seifer naked in the shower, he walked through the living room and into the kitchen, where Ellone immediately turned from the stove to look at him.
"Looking better already," she said with an approving nod, before gesturing at the table. "Have a seat. I'm almost done here."
He sat down and watched as Ellone pulled two casseroles out of the oven, the appetizing scents in the kitchen intensifying. Silence fell between them, the absence of Seifer's distracting conversation making it seem all the more jarring. That's when he realized it was just the two of them for the first time since he and Seifer had arrived. Finding absolutely nothing to do or say, he poured himself some water from the pitcher and turned the glass in his hold as he waited.
"Hungry?" she asked, regarding him as she placed the two pans on the table.
"…Yes."
"Well, tuck in then." Ignoring his awkwardness, she nudged the serving spoon towards him with an expectant gaze. "Baked potatoes with cheese and ground beef casserole, Winhill style. It's got more grease than is healthy, but it's delicious."
It did look and smell good, his hunger pangs returning with a vengeance. Filling his plate with the home-cooked food, he kept his face impassive as he took the first bite.
"Good right?" Ellone leaned forward, seeming far more pleased than a single bite should warrant.
"…It's good," he offered, earning himself a smile.
"I knew you'd like it."
Relieved when she turned her attention to filling her own plate, Squall only managed to get a few bites into his meal before he felt Ellone's eyes flit towards him again, studying him surreptitiously. They ate in silence for a while, but the atmosphere was thick with the questions he knew she still wanted to inflict on him. He made no overtures, praying to Hyne Seifer would be down sooner rather than later. Of course it had to be now of all times that the bastard bothered with a thorough shower and grooming.
Across from him, a soft sigh was followed by the restless scraping of Ellone's spoon. "I really do wish you'd tell me what happened last night." Her gaze settled on him again, more insistently this time. "It's not like you to bail like that. Not when it matters. I'm sure you noticed the tile in the shower by now. The state Seifer was in this morning—" She shook her head. "Why did you leave like that?"
Squall frowned at her interpretation of events. "What happened is between Seifer and me," he deadpanned, lifting his eyes from his food. "I won't leave again, if that's what you want to hear."
Ellone sighed at the defensive tone to Squall's words. She should've known he'd raise his hackles the moment she tried to dig a little deeper. "It's something, I guess," she said with a soft shake of the head. "He needs you right now. You see that, don't you?"
Unable to deny the ring of truth to her words, Squall nodded slowly. He'd already decided to do whatever he could to help Seifer, without Ellone's cajoling. "I know."
"I'm glad to hear it." Somewhat mollified, Ellone picked around the food in her plate and glanced at her brother with a budding smile. She still couldn't quite believe how he'd shown up on her doorstep, his appearance broadcasting he'd been fooling around in the fields to anyone who clapped eyes on him. She would never have suspected him to be the type. "When you guys say you 'made up', what does that mean exactly?"
Frowning, Squall furiously wished Seifer would come downstairs and take over. No doubt the man would clear up the situation with a few aggravating quips and innuendos, while somehow making it sound like a very normal development at the same time. "We've decided—" He faltered, uncertain of how she'd react, uncertain even of how he himself felt about the change, but he'd agreed with Seifer not to hide this. "We're... together now."
Ellone let out a soft cry. "Really? Together together? Officially?"
"That's what I said."
The effect of his statement was immediate. He watched in bewilderment as Ellone's expression transformed into a beaming smile at the unlikely news.
"Oh, that's wonderful!" she exclaimed, grasping his hand and giving it a squeeze. "After last night and this morning I wasn't sure what to expect anymore. I was afraid—" Shaking her head, she cut herself short. "I'm so happy for you two!"
So then he hadn't imagined her easy acceptance earlier. He wasn't sure what to do with her adoring smile, confused as to how anyone could be that excited when not directly involved themselves. "I want to tell people in person," he warned, not wanting this particular bit of news to travel through the grapevine.
"Of course," Ellone reassured, her mood much improved. "Laguna would definitely want to know."
Sighing at the prospect of telling the president anything at all about his personal life, Squall didn't reply. With some luck, Seifer would be the one to spill the news, saving him the trouble.
Catching himself at the overly optimistic thought, he tried not to let his doubts overwhelm him all over again. It was premature to make any assumptions only hours into their fledgling relationship. He couldn't even quite accept that it had really happened, that Seifer truly wanted this after everything that had been said and done. To talk about it so openly felt foolish, daring fate for Seifer to take it all back.
He'd felt like this only once before, or at least something similar, when Rinoa had bonded them. The depth and nature of his current feelings were vastly different, but the hope was the same. A tentative hope that his future might just be better than his past, laced with the fear that he was wrong. Back then Rinoa had showed just as much confidence as Seifer when making her promises.
He wasn't sure how he'd ended up in this situation again, this time with a lot more to lose. A lot more of himself invested. And then another thought occurred to him. He'd have to tell Rinoa at some point.
"Ah, that'll be him," Ellone interrupted his unwelcome thoughts, the sound of creaking stairs reaching his ears.
Walking into the kitchen with a confident stride, Seifer grinned at the disgruntled look Squall sent him upon his entrance, the man most likely miffed at being left to fend for himself in a social situation. He didn't feel the least bit repentant when it meant he'd gotten to enjoy an extended hot shower while still buzzing from Squall's touch. Looking from the unimpressed brunet to Ellone, he raised an eyebrow at Ellone's broad smile and answered it with one of his own. She'd definitely cheered up. "So, what did I miss?" he asked as he sat down. His gaze fell to not one, but two casseroles, his stomach complaining at the lack of sustenance.
"Squall told me the good news," Ellone replied, watching with satisfaction as Seifer dug into the food she'd made with gusto.
"Did he now?" Seifer asked with a wide smirk. The thought of the tight-lipped brunet telling anyone else about them definitely stroked his ego.
"Only under duress," Ellone clarified, taking pity on her visibly cringing brother. "But I actually got a straightforward answer for once, so I suppose congratulations are in order."
More than proud to have landed the reticent man as his boyfriend, Seifer winked lewdly at the man in question. "Guess we won't have to keep things on the down-low anymore, huh?"
Squall frowned at the bewildering statement that implied the man thought they'd been exercising restraint so far. He was somewhat afraid to find out what Seifer deemed acceptable behavior in front of others. No doubt it would exceed his own boundaries.
"He looks worried," Ellone interjected with a laugh. "With reason, I'm guessing."
"Well, he'll have to get used to it. He should definitely know by now that I like to flaunt and cop a feel whenever possible."
Stifling her laughter when Squall's expression darkened further at the prospect, Ellone wondered all over again how two such different people had fallen in love. She wasn't sure who to wish good luck. Squall had never been very receptive to Rinoa's attempts at public displays of affection after all. On the other hand, he'd never emerged from a spontaneous roll in the fields with her either.
"A risk taker, huh?" she commented good-naturedly, her gaze cataloguing the lack of nasty bruises and cuts. "At least you had the sense to heal up."
"Courtesy of the boyfriend," Seifer said, sending Squall a teasing smile. He'd always hated other people fussing over him, but it turned out he loved it when Squall was the one doling it out.
It took all of Squall's composure not to betray his self-consciousness as he met Seifer's gaze. As if it was a perfectly normal thing for Seifer to call him by. The incredulity he'd expected from Ellone was still failing to manifest, the woman still all smiles, instilling the budding hope that maybe them together wasn't quite the freak occurrence he'd thought it to be.
"So, are you guys still planning on heading out today?" Ellone asked, grabbing Squall's plate to refill it while she talked. "You're welcome to stay as long as you like of course. The guest room is all yours."
Preferring somewhere with a large bed and no chance of being overheard by his boyfriend's sister, Seifer briefly glanced Squall's way. The man was still tired no doubt, but the train ride wouldn't be that long. "My friends are already waiting in Wendel, so we should probably head out sooner rather than later. If we get a train out this afternoon, we can still make it there before nightfall."
Ellone nodded, unable to fully hide her disappointment. "You shouldn't keep them waiting then. I'll be sorry to see you guys go, though."
Seifer felt somewhat guilty for letting her down, the woman looking deflated. She'd opened her home to him and had taken him in without any reserve. She even seemed to approve of him as Squall's new partner. "Maybe we can visit again soon. Or I can, in case the Commander's too busy catching up on his missions. I'd be more than happy to spend a weekend manning the bar."
"I'd love that," Ellone said eagerly, letting slide how Seifer had given Squall a way out of the agreement. Squall was Squall. She'd be lucky if he ever visited again. Seifer on the other hand seemed genuine in his suggestion. "Like I said, you're always welcome. And I did promise you a tour of the area, didn't I?"
"You did and I'll hold you to it." Seifer paused for a moment, then faced her squarely. "I'll help make back what you lost by keeping the pub closed today and I'll pay for that tile."
Ellone raised an eyebrow. Until now she hadn't been sure either man had even noticed she'd closed shop in order to wait for them. "Don't worry about any of that. A day off won't put me out of business," she reassured with a soft smile. "I'm just glad everything turned out alright. A broken tile is a small price to pay."
Nodding, though still firm in his resolution to make up for what he'd done, Seifer reached over to take hold of her hand. "Thank you."
Blushing in response to Seifer's earnest gaze, Ellone squeezed his hand. "Anytime." Before she could get any more emotional, she pulled back and indicated his plate. "Seconds?"
"Don't mind if I do," Seifer supplied easily, holding out his plate.
"So when you come back this way, you'll have to come caving with me."
Seifer swallowed his mouthful of food before speaking. "There are caves around here?"
"Yup, the area has some of Galbadia's best caving complexes," Ellone replied with a smile. "Should be right up your alley."
"Sounds great," Seifer agreed jovially, already looking forward to the visit. "I'll bring my gear along."
"You have your own gear? And here I thought I could show you something new."
"I'm a weaponsmith. Sometimes my boss sends me out on trips to collect materials, so I've dabbled in caving to get my hands on some rare metals. How about you? How did you get into caving?"
Ellone cocked her head, considering the question. "A friend took me caving when I first moved here and I got hooked, I guess... I felt proud of myself when I resurfaced. A novel feeling after all that time on the run." She smiled, pleased with how far she'd come since those first difficult weeks after the war, when she'd only just returned to Winhill. "I have most of Galbadia's caving systems under my belt by now. I even got certified, so you'll have to stay on your toes to keep up."
"I'm self-taught, so I haven't really tried the deeper caves. You'll have to show me the ropes."
Squall listened and ate in silence as Seifer and Ellone launched into a discussion on the finer points of caving. He was glad that whatever initial concern Seifer had harbored about meeting Ellone was now completely absent, that the two could talk like this even after the night they'd all had. He was grateful for Ellone taking things in stride the way she had, for giving Seifer a chance. Once reunited, it seemed that they got along great. Another rift from Seifer's past mended.
As long as he never had to come back to Winhill and join them, he was content to simply listen to their vague plans for future visits. It was good to see Seifer smile and talk so animatedly again. Whenever the blond looked his way, those eyes glinted and those lips curled up in a way that hinted at secret meanings intended just for him, even if the conversation was about something as inane as climbing gear. He'd almost decided he had to be going daft and imagining things when Seifer's foot nudged against his one time too many for it to be coincidental. Only a day ago he would probably have kicked it aside.
Was this what it was supposed to feel like? A bubble enveloping only the two of them, even when other people were around. He was eager to be away from Winhill all over again, to be someplace where he could act on the impulses that surged through him now. Instead, he had to settle for the warm press of Seifer's leg against his own and the knowledge that they'd be leaving soon.
Unable to help another lopsided smirk at the closeness Squall was allowing underneath the radar, Seifer finished his last bite, then met Ellone's gaze. "This was really delicious, Elle, thanks."
"Local Winhill fare," Ellone managed, flustered by the unexpected nickname. While not the same as the one he'd used to call her by so long ago, it sounded better. New. "I'm glad you liked it."
Seifer emptied the remainder of his water as well. "Is it alright if I use your landline? I have fuck all reception out here."
"Sure, help yourself." Guessing the purpose of his call, she added, "I'm not sure when the next train out is. You'll have to check with the local railway services. I have their number on the pin board above the phone. You can reserve seats with them too."
"Alright, I'll get to it then."
Watching as Seifer left the kitchen, Ellone let out a happy sigh and got up from her chair to start clearing the table. Both oven pans were almost empty, Seifer's appetite in particular having made the biggest dent. Nothing was more rewarding than cooking for a ravenous friend. Beside her, Squall was collecting the plates and utensils in an effort to be helpful. She smiled at such courtesy, wondering whether Seifer was rubbing off on him.
"You can wash the dishes," she announced, twisting open the tap to fill the sink with hot water. "I'll dry them and put them away. Soap's under the sink."
Receiving only a nod in reply, she transferred the leftovers to smaller containers and popped them in the fridge. All the while she watched on in amusement as Squall scrubbed away at a stubbornly dirty pot. If only his operatives could see him now.
She almost decided to shelve the subject that had been on her mind ever since the previous night. Things were finally pleasant again. She'd helped them, and they'd be on their way soon. All was well. It should be enough, but still she couldn't shake the thoughts and hopes that yesterday's revelations had stirred in her.
"Squall," she began, uncertain on how to broach the topic. "Last night you said some things that… If they're true, then the implications…"
Looking up from the sink, Squall frowned when he was met with a drawn expression. "What things?"
Ellone sighed and grabbed a kitchen towel, putting her thoughts in order as she dried a plate. "You said that my powers create a real connection to the past. That Ultimecia was aware of you. That you changed the past."
Tensing at the hopeful tone to her words, Squall set down the pot he'd been washing and turned to regard her fully. "My interference was small—"
"However small, you did it, and the consequences were huge," Ellone immediately cut in. "I can read between the lines well enough," she added when her brother gave her a troubled look.
"What are you saying?"
Ellone bit her lips, alerted by Squall's deadpan tone. "All the times I've tried to change things, I always failed. I tried everything.I tried going into the past myself, I tried sending other people. I hammered at the same events over and over." She heaved a deep breath. "Every time I came up empty, but last night, somehow, you did what I couldn't. If we can understand how you did it, maybe we can change more."
"I don't know how I did it," Squall dissuaded, disturbed by the fervor he heard in Ellone's voice. It was the same fervor that had caused her to send him into Loire's past against his will. "I just did."
Nodding, Ellone considered the possible explanations she'd been mulling over all night. "Maybe it's because you used to be a knight. It changed your magic, didn't it?" she theorized, unperturbed. "Maybe it's because of the time you spent stuck in Time Compression, maybe it changed how my powers interact with you. Or maybe it's because you were connecting with a mind inhabited by Ultimecia. She was trying to meddle with time as well. Maybe—"
"Stop."
"But—" Unable to understand why Squall was frowning at her, she set aside her kitchen towel and faced him head-on. "Don't you want to change things?"
"What you're suggesting is reckless. Your powers are far more dangerous than we realized. We don't understand how they work. We'd risk undoing all that we fought for in the war."
"How can you be so sure?" Ellone persisted, her heart beating rapidly.
Squall shook his head, loath to be the voice of reason when he wanted nothing more than to erase Ultimecia from their past. "In the few seconds I had control, I only managed to move his arm. I couldn't reach him or make myself be heard. I couldn't hold onto him after Ultimecia returned. Those parameters are far too narrow to apply successfully to any other circumstance." He steeled his voice despite Ellone's crestfallen expression. "It would take a lot more than what I did to make a difference, and by using your powers to return to the war, we'd risk offering her an escape into our time. I can't let that happen."
"Even if it means you might miss the chance to keep Seifer from becoming her knight in the first place?"
Squall scowled at the low blow that squeezed his chest with pain. "All I know for certain is that he's alive now. He made it through the war, against all odds. If we risk going back, there will be no certainties. No amount of wishful thinking will make me gamble with our lives like that. I will never let her get her hands on him a second time. Do you understand?"
Aware that she was talking to the Commander now and not her brother, Ellone squared her shoulders. She hated how he was making sense, hated how he was killing her hopes one after the other. "What if we went back farther than the war? To before Ultimecia ever showed up?"
"You still want to save her."
The deadpan reply sounded too much like an accusation, and not for the first time, Ellone wondered if he'd still be able to be this callous if he'd known his mother at all. "If there was a chance, then yes, I would."
Trying not to betray how disturbed he was by the thought of Ellone rewriting his history like that, Squall kept his voice even and calm. "The same limitations still apply. A few seconds, without communication. She had no magic for me to access."
"But if we could get Uncle Laguna to stay, if we could get her to the hospital in Baren Falls in time…" she trailed off, realizing she was grasping at straws even as she spoke the words.
"Even if you could do those things, it would change our paths in unpredictable ways. We would've grown up here in Winhill or in Esthar. Either way, we would never have met Edea and she would never have put us on the necessary path to win against Ultimecia. I wouldn't have gone to Garden. I would never have faced her in battle. You wouldn't have been protected by the White SeeDs. Loire might not have ended up as the President of Esthar. And all of this leaves Adel out of the equation."
Ellone dabbed at her eyes, Squall's every word cutting into her heart. For one horrible moment she could envision it exactly; Ultimecia finding and slaughtering her defenseless adoptive family the same way Adel had found and killed her birth parents. "So you're saying the wars were won with her death?"
"We were who we needed to be, where we needed to be, in order to win. Any other path could lead to our defeat. The smallest change could risk everything."
Releasing a tremulous sigh, Ellone moved to sit down at the kitchen table. Hyne above, why did he have to be right? It didn't help that he was standing right there in Raine's kitchen, looking so much like her, even sounding so much like her. She'd been the pragmatic and levelheaded type as well.
"Do you understand?" Squall reiterated, not reassured at all by Ellone's continued silence.
Looking up to meet her brother's gaze, Ellone nodded. "… I do."
"You can't ever take anyone back to the war again. We can't allow her to get a hold of you. We can't give her even the smallest chance."
"I know," Ellone replied more firmly, shaking off the last of her hopes. "I thought I'd given up on preventing the wars and saving our family a long time ago, but last night… I just wish I could see her again. That Uncle Laguna could find happiness again. That you could meet her."
Squall frowned at the heartfelt words and the implication that Loire was anything other than happy. The man was always smiling and surrounded with people. Once more he was plagued with guilt. "…I'm sorry."
Taken off guard by the unexpected apology, Ellone looked up from the table and blinked her tears away. "You have nothing to be sorry for."
Avoiding her gaze, Squall was sure she'd disagree if she had any idea of his true feelings and thoughts. He couldn't hold back the truth any longer, not after what she'd done for him. "I can't give you back what you lost. I can't be who you want me to be."
Fresh tears slid from Ellone's eyes as she pushed up from her chair. She enveloped her brother in a crushing hug, unable to stand his despondent expression for another second. "You said it best yourself. You're exactly who you need to be," she declared firmly, emphasizing her words with a squeeze. "The things I lost… None of that is your fault. I'm so sorry if I ever made you feel otherwise." Ignoring how he stiffened in her hold, she gave another squeeze just because she could. "I'm just grateful to have you in my life."
Pulling back, she looked him straight in the eye. "Just be yourself. That's more than enough for me."
Squall had heard those words before, and while people rarely meant them, Ellone seemed sincere enough. She was still grasping his shoulders firmly, waiting for some sign of acquiescence. He was unable to speak, unable to tell her things would work out the way she wanted. She only firmed her hold in response.
"I know it's hard for you to come here. That it's hard for you to trust people," she said past her tears. "But you can trust me."
"…I know I can."
Ellone smiled at the careful admission. "I can't promise I'll ever think of you any other way than as my little brother. No matter what you say or do, no matter how you feel about me or this place. It's that whole unconditional deal, so I'm afraid you're stuck with me." Her nose was starting to run, but she refused to let go of Squall until she got her point across. "I don't need you to behave in a certain way or to give me any special treatment. When you are happy and thriving, I'm happy. It's really that simple." She drew in a quivering breath. "Raine would've felt the same way, you know that, right?"
Frowning, Squall didn't know any such thing. His mother was dead. She didn't feel anything anymore. It was a pointless thought exercise to imagine what she might think of him. He waited for Ellone to inundate him with stories of Raine's undying love, but she only shook her head and smiled at him again.
"Such a brooder," she chided gently. "I just want you to understand. I love you. Not some idea of the perfect brother. Not even my memories of the little boy that used to follow me around." She tapped her finger against his chest. "You. The man you've become. I couldn't be more proud."
With those words, she stepped back and retrieved a piece of kitchen paper to blow her nose. "Hyne, just look at me. You must think me such a crybaby." Dabbing at her eyes with another bit of paper, she tossed it in the bin and looked his way with red-rimmed eyes and a dapper smile. "Well, we should probably get on with the dishes, shouldn't we?"
Squall nodded, at a loss for anything to say. He still felt the poke of her finger, the power of the word she'd invoked echoing in his thoughts. Love. So freely voiced and offered, expecting nothing in return. It had once been an abstract concept to him, something to treat with suspicion, but since Seifer's reappearance in his life, he couldn't dismiss the sentiment quite as easily as he had before.
Ellone took up her abandoned kitchen towel and looked at him expectantly, waving him towards the sink. He complied and together they worked through the dishes. The silence no longer felt as stifling, her company not quite as chafing. Above them the floorboards creaked as Seifer moved about the upper floor, the familiar cadence of his footfall an oddly reassuring sound. The man was probably packing.
It was a moment of peace, as he'd rarely known in his life. Not the silence before the storm, but the deep breath of relief that came after.
~ o ~
[Baren Falls, Winhill, Thursday, 30th of October, 4:57 pm]
The sun was still warm as they said their goodbyes on the train platform at Baren Falls. Ellone's fingers were clutching on to Squall as she gave the man a firm squeeze, her lips forming a wide smile even as her eyes glistened. Seifer adjusted the strap of his duffel bag so it rested further up on his shoulder again. He'd expected she'd have trouble saying goodbye. They all knew chances were slim Squall would ever return here. Even though they both owed her so much, Winhill was too steeped in unpleasant reminders when it came to Squall's past. The last twenty four hours probably hadn't helped Squall's perception of the place in the slightest.
When Squall and Ellone drew apart, Seifer watched as her gaze lingered on Squall a moment longer before it met his own. He took a step closer and pulled her in for a hug. "Thanks," he spoke softly.
Firming her hold on Seifer, Ellone doubled down on her fight against the tears that pricked her eyes when she heard their train approaching in the distance. She'd already done enough crying that day and she was determined to see them off with a smile and nothing but happy feelings. "Don't be a stranger, you hear me?"
"I promise." Seifer gave her one last squeeze, before stepping back. "And call me next time you visit the palace."
Ellone nodded quickly, drawing courage from the prospect. "Of course. I'm always there for Uncle Laguna's New Year's party in any case. I'm sure you'll get an invitation this year as well."
"Really?" Seifer asked, smirking widely as he seized the opportunity to pull Squall to his side, hooking his arm around Squall's back. "Guess I'll be your plus one this year," he added, looking down into glaring grey-blues. The sight was too much to resist.
Blindsided, Squall froze into place when Seifer ambushed him with a brief peck to his lips, too quick for him to dodge gracefully. He pulled free with a frown, his self-consciousness only increasing when he spotted the blush on Ellone's cheeks. Just another minute and they'd be on the train with the relative privacy of anonymity, leading him to realize the deliberateness of Seifer's move.
"And so the flaunting begins," Ellone teased, hiding her smile. It was good to see a glimpse of their improved relationship, and even better to see her brother's almost embarrassed reaction. It was a great deal more heartwarming than the cold snubs he used to give Rinoa.
Seifer hummed in agreement, somewhat distracted by imagining Squall dressed in a suit for an upscale party. The high-pitched whine of brakes pulled him from his fantasy as the train pulled up next to them. Grabbing hold of Ellone's hand, he gave it one last squeeze. "Take care, Elle."
"You too." Watching the two men turn away to board the train, Ellone cleared the thickness that was settling in her throat and called out to them. "You two have a good time on your hunt!"
"Will do!" Seifer yelled over his back as he stepped onto the train.
Relieved to finally board the train that would take him away from Winhill, Squall nodded his goodbye to Ellone before following Seifer to their seats. Outside Ellone walked alongside the windows, waving at them even though the train hadn't started moving yet. Such a display would've annoyed him in the past, but after all she'd done for them, he felt she deserved more from him than to be dismissed with a scornful thought.
Smiling at Ellone's antics, Seifer skimmed over the numbers as they continued down the aisle. "This is us," he said, shoving his stuff up onto the overhead rack. "You can have the window seat," he added, nodding at the seat in question with a smirk. Ellone was still standing just at the other side of the glass, eagerly waving them off.
Squall let out a sigh and sat down by the window after stowing his things, resigned to humor Ellone in her overly zealous goodbye instead of ignoring her as he once would have. The seat next to him jostled as Seifer sat down and immediately crowded into his space to wave back at Ellone when the train started into motion. He gave her a final nod before she finally slipped from their view as the train gained speed.
Leaning back, he frowned when Seifer remained in the seat next to him, closer than either of their seats necessitated. There were two perfectly serviceable and unoccupied seats facing them. He looked beside him with a raised eyebrow.
Seifer shrugged, an easy smile on his lips. "Much more comfy this way. And I'll need a pillow." Settling into his seat, he brought down a hand to rest on Squall's thigh and spread his fingers in a loose hold.
Tensing as the heat of Seifer's hand seeped into his thigh, Squall suppressed the urge to shift away, uncomfortable with feeling even the smallest flicker of attraction in front of strangers.
It was an entirely different conundrum than his past experiences with Rinoa. Back then he hadn't cared much for her stolen touches in and of themselves, whoever was watching them be damned. The more she'd tried to claim him, the more uneasy he'd felt and the more he'd been criticized for his coldness. He understood the why of that better now. His current misgivings stemmed from a different source. He much preferred to keep his feelings private, and it was impossible for Seifer to touch him without stirring some manner of feeling. It cracked his exterior, making others privy to how affected he was. But perhaps that was exactly Seifer's intent.
Glancing at Seifer from the corner of his eyes, he was instantly met with a knowing smile, the bastard looking far too satisfied and unconcerned with his inner turmoil. Frowning, he slowly began to understand that this was probably what things would be like from here on out. Either he'd learn to roll with the punches, or his stress levels would soar exponentially.
Seifer watched as Squall looked away again, the man's eyes briefly flitting over the other passengers in the car before looking out onto the stretching fields on the other side of the window. A small frown was still present on Squall's brow, but the stiffness that had claimed the man at his touch was starting to lessen. Squall was giving in and he'd be damned if it wasn't another turn on.
"Can't wait to have you all to myself again," he spoke lowly, his gaze dropping to the exposed skin at Squall's neck. He wanted to lean in and nibble at it, but knew without a doubt that'd be where Squall would draw the line, revoking all future thigh grabbing privileges.
Neck heating under Seifer's gaze, Squall turned to fix Seifer with a distrusting look. "The key word being wait."
"I know," Seifer complained, the image of Fu and Rai waiting for them at the inn quickly coming to mind. There'd be no time to sneak off to their room first and if they did, then so help them Hyne, Fu would track them down. Better not to introduce them to his new boyfriend mid-fucking.
Stifling a groan as more explicit fantasies asserted themselves, he pushed them all away. He wasn't about to sport a raging hard-on on a train, definitely not when any chance at relief was still hours away. He'd just have to get used to being constantly oversexed, just like Squall would have to get used to him constantly pestering the guy for kisses and touches in public. There was just no way around it with a boyfriend like Squall, launching his libido to unprecedented heights. Good thing Fu and Rai would be running interference soon, or they'd never emerge from the bedroom.
He glanced at Squall, the frown from earlier gone. So was the tenseness he'd felt from the man and it hadn't even taken that long. He couldn't believe it. Here they were, on the other side of it all. A couple. Not even in his wildest dreams had he thought something like that possible. He'd hoped desperately, but he'd never thought it could actually become his reality. Letting go of Squall's thigh, he took hold of the man's hand instead. He had no fucking clue why it made him feel both eager and calm at the same time, but he indulged the urge nonetheless. When Squall's gaze fell on him as expected, he looked ahead, a smile on his lips.
Squall's heart started beating faster at the most innocent touch yet. The mischievous bastard really was testing him, timing each new venture perfectly to weasel past his defenses. While there was nothing overtly flirty or sexual about this particular move, it didn't seem any less potent for it.
Allowing the touch, he turned to look out the window again in an attempt not to seem conspicuous, as if the entirety of his awareness wasn't intent on the warmth of Seifer's hand curled around his. The landscape flitted by his eyes unseen, Seifer's mere proximity making it impossible for him to focus on anything else.
Smirking broadly at Squall's taciturn permission, so very telling, Seifer drank in the moment before he moved his head to rest on his boyfriend's shoulder and closed his eyes. If Squall was allowed to fall asleep on top of him in the middle of a field, then he was definitely allowed to drift off like this.
Best perch ever.
~ o ~