Virgil Becomes a Wall

Okay, I came up with most of this at like 3 am and wrote it down in my phone.

(CW for drug use- marijuana and alcohol)

XXX

"Virgil, get OUT of the FUCKING. WALL."

They were most definitely in a very particular predicament.

"No. This place is great. You guys just don't understand it."

Yes, a particularly precarious predicament. A particularly precarious predicament indeed.

"Virgil, it is a WALL."

"And what a glorious wall it is."

Was he kidding?

"You-! You can't stay in there forever! What if Thomas summons us for a video, hm?"

"Then after we're done, I will return to the wall."

Roman couldn't believe this was happening.

"You're impossible!"

"No. I am a wall. I have become one with the wall now. I am no longer Anxiety, for I am Wall."

"Jesus Christ, Patton, how much weed was in those brownies?"

Patton put his hands up in a placating gesture.

"Hey, I didn't know Virgil was awake and would eat them."

"Well, maybe label your edibles next time, Padre?"

"...Sorry."

"Walls have no need for brownies. Only wall."

Roman could not deal with this.

"Just... just stop talking, Virgil."

"Who's Virgil? I am Wall."

Enough of this.

"Okay. Fine. WALL, please stop talking."

"...'Kay."

Unfortunately, Roman could only enjoy the silence that came with Wall shutting up for a moment before his brother and Janus came into the room.

"HEY guys, whatcha doin'?"

Patton was about to greet the other sides when he suddenly froze.

"Remus... Please put some pants on."

Remus only shrugged.

"Your loss."

"Hoooooo, wha's goin' on 'ere?"

"Janus."

"Hmmmmm?"

"Please tell me you aren't drunk."

"Ummmmm. Nope. Nah. Def'ni'ly not drunk. Noooot me."

"Oh, he's fuckin' plastered."

"... Thank you, Remus. I noticed."

Roman sank to the floor and covered his face with his hands. He already couldn't deal with Virgil being high. He absolutely could not handle a drunk Janus on top of it.

"Heeeeeeey, wher's Virg'l?"

"Virgil is gone. Only Wall exists now."

"Bu' I want Viiiiiiirg'lllllllll!"

Janus suddenly burst into tears, and though Patton attempted to comfort him, that only seemed to make it worse.

And so it went until, finally, blessedly, Logan- the voice of reason- came into the room to save Roman from the others.

"Hello, everyone. What is occurring?"

"Virgil sank into the wall, Janus is drunk-sobbing, Remus won't wear pants, and Roman is having an existential crisis."

"Ah."

Wait.

"... Logan, what's in your hand…?"

Logan looked at him.

"This? It's just a brownie."

"... You didn't eat any of it yet, did you…?"

"... I did…?"

Of course he did. Roman fell over, hitting his head into the Wall (Virgil).

"Fuck me…"

"Well, if you insist…"

"Fuck off, Remus. You know what I meant."

"; {(."

"Hey, Logan, can Wall have the rest of your brownie?"

"VIRGIL, SHUT the FUCK up!"

XXX

*Shrugs*