Thanks for the reviews! There's a little nod to Marilyn Monroe in this chapter. I used one of her many quotes that I particularly appreciate. Let's see if you will recognize it :)
Audrey had taken refuge in work. She was spending most of her time in the hospital, working even more than when she was trying to drown her sorrows after her break-up with Neil. The thought of being pregnant was terrifying her, and she was trying to escape this reality she still wasn't ready to face. She was working overtime, was going through surgeries, meetings and was crawling under paperwork day after day. She had been running around the hospital all along, partly because her new position implied she had to be everywhere at once and mostly because there was a certain someone she still didn't want to run into. She knew she wouldn't be able to avoid him indefinitely, but she kept putting the fatidic moment off over and over again. Anything to take her attention away from this huge mess was good to take.
She had just come out of her second operation of the day and had let the family who was waiting in their father's bedroom know that the surgery had gone well. She was on her way to the nurses' station to drop off some files when she spotted his silhouette in the distance. He was walking in the same direction, reading some stuff on his tablet. As soon as her eyes had laid on him, she had been caught in a terrible wave of panic and stopped dead in her tracks. She immediately turned around and started walking back the other way, but she instantly closed her eyes and cursed herself mentally. She knew very well she absolutely had to give these documents, and there was no way she was going to start acting like a fifteen year-old child in her own department. She then took a deep breath, pulled herself together and faked a smile before turning back and walking towards her original destination.
He had been the first one to reach the desk, and he had still his nose buried in his tablet when she arrived at her turn.
"Could you add these in the file of Mr. Lopez?" She asked to the nurse sitting behind her computer. The young woman nodded, took the documents and left her seat to put them away. At the sound of her voice, Neil immediately looked up. Audrey hadn't even bothered to look at him, or greet him and it kinda unsettled him. She was about to turn around and left, but he stopped her.
"Hey, wait a minute." She had hoped to leave unnoticed, but apparently her plan didn't work. She took a step back and leaned her arm on the counter, facing him. She waited for him to talk first.
"What's going on?" Neil frowned. She suddenly felt weak at the thought of him knowing the truth. Her state of mind was comparable to a tsunami ravaging everything on its way. She could feel her throat tightened up and right now, she just wanted to disappear but she managed to keep a straight face.
"What do you mean?"
"Have you- have you been avoiding me?" He finally asked the one thing he had been dying to know for weeks.
Audrey scoffed, "of course not."
"Because that's what it looks like to me." It almost sounded like a reproach to her ears.
"Well, it's not my fault if you're misinterpreting things." She snapped at him. Neil sighed, he was getting tired of this game.
"I don't understand. I thought you wanted this." She furrowed, and started getting irritating by where the conversation was going.
"Yes, and I still do."
"Then why do we keep ignoring each other like that?" He hissed at her. Of course, he was waiting for an answer but she didn't even know what to say.
"Listen," he glanced around them, making sure no one was looking at them and took a step closer. She stiffened at their suddenly closeness. "We need to talk, really talk, because we can't keep doing this." His eyes fell on their hands, both resting next to each other and she followed his gaze. He carefully slid his hand along the counter to reach hers, slowly closing the gap between them.
"We might not be a couple anymore, but I miss my friend." He softly whispered to her. His fingers hesitantly brushed against hers for a brief moment, but before he could go further she pulled her hand away and buried it in her pocket.
"We're not just friends, and you fucking know it." She had seen the hurt in his eyes, and she regretted her words as soon as she had said them, but it was too late to take them back. "I have to go." She said dryly, leaving him alone as she walked past him.
He looked down, tightening his jaw. Neil couldn't quite understand why she was pushing him away and shutting herself so much lately. He wasn't a fool, there was something going on with her. He could see this whole situation was hurting her just as much as it was hurting him and he hated seeing her so miserable, but damn she could be so stubborn sometimes.
He decided to drop it for now and headed to his next consultation. He didn't have long to walk since the room was right in front of the nurses' office. As he entered, he didn't even have the time to speak.
"Oh, thank god. I could feel the thick tension hanging in the air from my bed!" Neil looked at her patient strangely. "It's her, isn't it? She's the one who's causing you so much trouble?"
He sighed, scrolling on his tablet to open her chart.
"I don't know what you're talking about, Mrs. Johnson." He answered in a dreary voice.
"Oh, I see the way you look at her. I still can recognize true love when I see it, young man."
He finally looked up, softly smiling at her. He hesitated for a moment but then, what was the point of keeping denying? He knew he wouldn't hear the end of it anyway.
"Well, we are no longer together so it doesn't matter anymore."
"Of course, it does! Are you that blind not to see she's still mad over heels in love with you?" Neil snorted.
"I really appreciate your optimism, but let's stop talking about me." He gave her a warning look. The lady sighed, the fun had to stop for now. She well knew why he was here. He hated being the reasonable one, but what he was about to say wasn't really joyful.
"I received the results of your tests. Unfortunately, my initial doubts were well-founded. You're in heart failure."
"I don't understand, I thought the pacemaker was supposed to help my heart get better?"
"Well, the pacemaker has been treating your bradycardia and helps your heart to beat at a normal rate. But over the years the conditions have damaged and weakened your heart, which developed the heart failure."
"So, you mean that my heart is dying and there's nothing we can do about it?"
"Not exactly, we have several potential treatments. In your case, I'd like to avoid performing surgery for now. Your heart is already tired enough and I'm afraid it might not be strong enough to go through an operation. We'll start with some medication and see how it goes." He offered her a reassuring smile, but she didn't buy it.
"And if it doesn't work?"
"Then we'll consider a transplant." He rested his hand on her forearm and gave it a gentle squeeze. "But don't worry, we're nowhere near there."
She nodded, and smiled at him.
"I'll stop by later to see how you're doing. Try to get some rest, alright?" Neil was about to withdraw his hand and leave the room, but she grabbed his wrist before he had the chance to.
"You have to talk to her." He chuckled and smiled. She wasn't gonna give up, was she? He looked at her for a brief moment; she had always been so kind to him.
"I've already tried, but I think she had made it clear when she dumped me."
"Then try harder!" She exclaimed herself. Neil raised his eyebrow, it was clear she had no idea Audrey Lim was one of a kind. When she had made a decision, there was nothing that could change her mind.
"It's not that easy, you know."
"Nobody said love was an easy thing, sweetheart. But when you really love someone, it's always worth it." And hell, she was worth it.
Later that day, Audrey was finally heading home. She was walking in the parking lot, helmet in hand and lost in her thoughts. She was recalling her encounter with Neil earlier this afternoon and she was still blaming herself for acting like that. She felt bad, it was stupid and he didn't deserve it. She couldn't help it though. Whenever she was feeling vulnerable or in a position of weakness, she was being cold and distant. Right now, her whole life was slipping through her fingers and she needed to take control back, but pushing him away like that only made things worse. It'd taken some time for her to realize it, but she was missing him terribly. She hated knowing they were tearing each other apart. She was exhausted and feeling horribly lonely but there was no way she was going to tell him. What would she look like? What would he think of her? That she'd get back with him just because he'd knocked her up? No, there was no way she was gonna tell him.
As she finally reached her parking spot, she saw Glassman sitting on a concrete pad next to her Ducati. He was quietly waiting for her. She sighed heavily. If he was there, there was only one possible explanation.
"Congratulations are in order." He stood up as she stopped at her motorcycle.
"He told you, didn't he?"
Glassman shrugged, "He can't keep a secret."
"I should've known better." She muttered under her breath. "I was gonna inform you, I just... needed time." She paused, "if you're here because you are worried it might compromise my position, I-"
"I'm here as a friend." He cut her off. She frowned slightly, not quite sure to understand what he meant. She was convinced he would have offered her his speech on the fact that it was an important detail and that she should have mentioned it to her boss right away. Instead, he didn't seem to care at all. "Are you okay?" He finally asked her.
She hadn't realized how much she needed to hear someone say those words to her until now. She felt her throat tightening and tears coming up. These damn hormones, she thought.
"I don't know." She breathed out with a shaky voice. She looked down at her helmet, as he quietly waited for her to open up. Putting words on how she felt was never an easy task for her. She had learned to always bury her emotions deep in her soul and so when she needed to let them out, it was always asking her huge efforts. But somehow, she found the strength tonight. "I can't be pregnant, Aaron." She looked up at him and her teary eyes met his. "I just became Chief of Surgery, I broke up with the man I love because I couldn't separate our relationship from our work and now there's a baby in the middle of this mess?!"
He didn't say a word as he felt she just needed someone who could listen to her right now, and he let her talk.
"This is a nightmare." She whispered, running her hand through her hair. He was used to see her so fierce and confident, this wasn't the Audrey he knew. He could tell she wasn't okay at all.
"Is there something I can do?"
She shrugged, "not really." They stood there, quietly. She didn't know what to say to him, but knowing he was there for her made her feel a little bit better. They had always shared this special bond from the beginning of her residency. He was her mentor and had always had this fatherly side towards her.
"I know this isn't my business but," he shoved his hands in his coat, taking a step closer. "Don't you think he deserves to know?"
"Of course, he does. I just don't know how to tell him." She finally admitted.
"You won't be able to keep him away from this forever."
"I know… I just feel so lost right now." Glassman walked closer to her and stopped at her height. He laid a hand on her shoulder and offered her a comforting smile.
"Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can come together." He gently tapped her shoulder twice, and with these words he walked away, leaving her with her own thoughts on the parking lot.
Will Audrey finally be ready to share her secret with Neil? How will he react when the truth will blow up at his face? Find out in the next chapter!