Neil had been waiting at the nurses' station for a good twenty minutes now, filling out paperwork to keep him busy. However, it didn't really seem to be working because he couldn't stop looking at his watch every two minutes. He was waiting for Audrey as they had agreed on meeting Mrs. Johnson today. He hadn't good news to tell his patient, and he had asked her to study and discuss the case with him. He would have never admitted it to himself, but it was kind of a good excuse to spend more time with her.

After a good five more minutes, he finally lost his patience and put his paperwork away. He knew her too well, and she would have called if something had come up. Usually that wouldn't have worried him more than that, but things were different now. Although he was still adjusting to the idea, she was carrying his child and he needed to make sure they were both alright.

As he walked through the hospital towards her office, he tried to reach her phone but it immediately fell on her voice mailbox which didn't help easing his fears. Maybe one of her meetings was dragging on and that's why she wasn't picking up, right?

He arrived quickly at her office and walked past her desk assistant without a word. As the young woman spotted him through the windows of her office, she quickly got up and rushed outside to stop him.

"Dr. Melendez!"

Neil turned around, and waited for her to speak.

"Dr. Lim asked not to be disturbed this morning." She told him with an apologetic grimace.

He couldn't help but frown a little at this unusual request.

"Why?"

"I don't know. She didn't mention anything else."

"How long has she been in there?"

"I'd say two hours or so."

Neil didn't answer back and walked towards the door.

"But-" The woman opened her mouth to say something but before she had the chance to, he had already entered Lim's office and closed the door behind him, almost to her face. She sighed in defeat, and went back to her desk, well knowing it was for her best not to interfere between these two.

The room was unusually quiet and empty. There was no sign of her. Her laptop was opened on her desk and her jacket was hung up on the coat rack. He could feel there was something odd. He waited a few seconds before calling her out.

"Audrey?"

After a few seconds, he heard her muffled voice from her private restroom.

"Over here."

Without hesitation, he went straight to the room and opened the door to find her knelt in front of the toilet.

"I'm fine." She cut him off without looking at him, before he could even say a word. She knew he would have probably stress out about this and that was the last thing she needed right now.

Right after she reassured him, another wave of nausea hit her hard, making her whimper in pain as she buried her face in the toilet bowl. It didn't take long before she started emptying the content of her stomach for the third time since this morning. Neil immediately rushed to her side and leaned over her huddled body.

"Here, let me do." He softly told her as he helped her gathering all the strands of her hair out of her face. He gently pulled them back and held them in a ponytail, while waiting patiently for her to finish.

He could see her body writhe as violent spams took hold of her abdominal muscles, and he felt bad seeing her suffering like that without being able to do anything to soothe her pain. He now understood why she hadn't been there in time for their meeting. She obviously hadn't been in great shape and surely hadn't been able to leave this room, even if she would have tried.

After a few minutes, she felt confident enough to straighten up and flushed the toilet. Neil had let go of her hair to grip her forearm instead and helped her getting up on her feet.

"Sorry." She breathed out.

"Don't be. You okay?" He asked, with a lot of concern showing on his face. She nodded and he let go of her arm as she walked to the sink.

"Morning sickness is really driving me insane these days." She hissed before rinsing her mouth with some water.

"I didn't know it was this bad." Neil frowned a bit.

"I'm trying not to show it much around here." She glanced at him with a knowing look.

They had agreed on not telling people yet about the pregnancy. It was way too early anyway, and they didn't want their situation to become the main topic of gossips around the hospital. Audrey wasn't showing yet that much, and she was convinced she could hide it for a few more months with loose-fitting clothes. She was almost sure some people were already suspicious, but there was nothing to worry about yet. So she was doing everything she could to hide even the slightest suggestive sign from everyone, including pretending she was fine when she wasn't.

"Have you told your doctor?"

"Yes, and she gave me some antiemetic."

"Well, obviously it isn't working." Neil answered more curtly than he would have thought.

"Listen," she sighed, turning around to face him and took his hand in hers. "This is really cute of you to worry like that, but I told you I'm fine. It's just a matter of time and soon enough it will fade away."

He looked into her eyes, and although he could hardly believe her when she said she was fine, his facial features relaxed a bit at the sight of her soft smile. He let out a slight sigh before nodding. They let themselves get lost in each other gaze for a while. There was no tension left between them, and it felt good to be able to stand in the same room without cutting each other's throat.

The past few days had been less stressful for Audrey. After her talk with Neil, the heavy weight that had been crushing her ever since had disappeared and she had been feeling more at ease with herself. She was still a bit nervous with the unknown as they still hadn't figure out how they would deal with this whole new thing, but she didn't mind the fact they were taking the slow way.

They hadn't really talked about them yet. Neil had been clear about wanting to be involved in the baby's life, and for now it was enough for Audrey. She wasn't ready to speak her feelings out yet, or even consider giving them a second chance. Things were already complicated enough between them, so that would be one step at a time.

Neil, on the other hand, was still trying to process everything. He hadn't really gotten much sleep since Audrey told him he was going to be a father. His mind hadn't stopped running around in circle. He was both excited and scared at the same time, although he was trying not to show it much because it wouldn't do good to any of them. He'd always wanted a family of his own, it had never been a secret. But now that it was really happening, he only became aware now of the big changes it would impact. One thing he had never been more so sure in his life was that he was ready to do it, as long as she was by his side.

Suddenly, she felt his thumb lightly stroking her hand. It snapped her out of her thoughts and she finally realized they were still holding hands. As soon as it hit her mind, she abruptly let go – to Neil's dismay – and cleared her throat.

"How did you get in anyway?" She frowned a bit, changing the subject. "I told Alisha not to let anyone in."

"Don't blame her." He shrugged, "It was all my fault. I didn't listen to her and made my way in."

"Of course you did." She rolled her eyes at him, smirking. She then walked out the room, with Neil following her closely.

"You still got time for that meeting?" She asked, checking her watch.

"I do. But we can postpone if you don't feel-" Neil stopped talking right away when she turned around to face him with her murderous look.

"I'm not postponing anything. I told you, I'm fine."

He held his hands up, not having the courage to butt heads with her.

"Alright, let's go then."

"Mrs. Johnson, how are you doing?" Neil asked as they both entered the room.

"Better now that you're here." The old woman gently smirked at him. Neil snorted, and shook his head.

"You never stop, don't you?"

"I'll stop when you'll finally agree on calling me Maria."

He sighed deeply, glancing at Audrey with a knowing smile. She returned the smile and took a step forward.

"Mrs. Johnson," She reached out her hand to the patient." I'm Dr. Audrey Lim, the chief of-"

"Oh, I know who you are." Maria immediately grabbed her hand between hers and pulled her slightly towards her. Audrey didn't expect her reaction and was a bit startled.

"He talks a lot about you." She leaned towards her and whispered, still loud enough for Neil to hear. Audrey raised her eyebrows and turned to look at Neil with a surprised look on her face.

"Oh, really?" She smirked.

He closed his eyes in disbelief, blushing a bit. "That's not- Can we go back to the real matter, please?"

"He's such a buzzkill." Maria kept whispering to Audrey, making her chuckle. She finally let go of her hand and Audrey stepped back next to Neil.

"I've got your results." He started talking, "I'm afraid the treatment isn't working well on your heart failure. I asked Dr. Lim to assist me on the case, but I think we'll have to consider a more complicated approach."

"What does that mean?" Maria frowned a bit. Neil inhaled deeply, and looked at Audrey. She nodded once, making him understand she was taking the lead from now on.

"The ACE inhibitors and Beta blockers we prescribed you didn't give the expected effect. In your case, when medications aren't enough we need to approach the problem in a different way." She explained.

"Is it the heart transplant?"

"We're not there yet. But it does involve surgery." She paused, "Dr. Melendez and I are possibly thinking of a coronary angioplasty or bypass."

Mrs. Johnson's face suddenly changed and she seemed completely lost.

"Don't worry, we'll give you all the possibilities and explain every procedure in details. You will then have the choice to accept or not." Neil kept going.

"Is it risky?"

"There is no such thing as zero risk in any surgical procedure. Considering your condition, it isn't insignificant." He took a step forward. "But if you don't do the surgery, there is even more risks for the heart failure to worsen."

"That doesn't leave me much choice then." Maria snorted and slightly lightened the mood. Both Neil and Audrey cracked a slight smile, even though the case was really worrying.

"For now, we'll give you some oxygen via a Nasal cannula to help your heart. We'll get back to you for the surgeries, but don't worry. You're in good hands with Dr. Lim." Neil smiled at his patient, and then glanced at Audrey.

"Oh, I have no doubts about that." She teased him, and blinked at him.

Audrey couldn't help but frown, looking oddly at Maria then Neil. Something was going on between those two, and she wasn't sure if she wanted to know.

Finally, Neil walked to the door and held it open for Audrey. She nodded at Maria, then walked out. When she reached Neil's height, she couldn't help but throw a suspicious glance at him.

"What?" He asked her innocently, hoping she wouldn't see his slight discomfort.

"Nothing." She shrugged, moving forward.

Neil then closed the door behind him, letting out a sigh he didn't even realized he'd been holding the whole time.

The day was finally over, the corridors were almost deserted since visits were over and doctors had either finished their shifts or taken the helm. Neil was walking towards the exit with his briefcase in his hand. The automatic doors opened in front of him, letting the icy wind rush in. As he stepped outside, he adjusted the collar of his coat and ducked his head to shield himself from the cold weather.

He was about to turn left towards his parking lot when he spotted a familiar silhouette in the distance. He didn't think twice and started running in the opposite way.

"Audrey!" He called her. She immediately stopped and turned around to find him walking towards her. She waited and they shared a smile as he finally arrived at her height.

"You're going to the bus stop?"

"Yes, I'm going home." She sighed. She was so tired she could feel a little dizzy at times. "It's been a long day."

"Tell me about it!" He sighed, and paused. "You know, my car is parked right there." He said, pointing at the parking lot behind him.

"I don't think that's a good idea." She pinched her lips.

"Let me give you a ride."

"Neil…" She warned him.

"What?" He frowned before grinning at her, "colleagues can give each other ride, right?"

She stared at him, thinking about the idea. It wouldn't be that bad, would it? Neil was just being nice, avoiding her long and painful bus ride home in the middle of the night.

"Come on, it's freezing out there and it's late." He nudged her gently with his elbow.

She sighed, looking around the place and rolled her eyes at him.

"Well, if it can save me from getting pneumonia…"

They shared a knowing look and smiled at each other. He let her take the lead, placing a hand in her lower back and they both walked side by side to his car.

The ride was quiet. Neil was focused on the road and Audrey was watching the streets going by through the window. It was slightly odd to be in the same car with him after the last events. It was easy to let herself imagine they were going home together after a painful shift as they used to do when they were still dating, but she quickly brushed the thoughts off her mind. After about ten minutes, Lim started glancing at Melendez from time to time. He seemed at ease, not tensed at all. She took the opportunity to strike up a conversation and finally break the comfortable silence.

"So, who's Mrs. Johnson?"

"What do you mean?" Neil gently frowned.

"She's not just a patient. You've got a soft spot for her, I can see it."

Neil shook his head lightly. He had always been amazed by how easy it was for her to see through him. Since med school, she had always been one of the few people who could figure him out and that's what finally made their relationship so special.

"I've known her for years. She has lost her husband and daughter in a car accident thirty years ago. She's been lonely ever since." He then shrugged, "I really appreciate her."

"I think the feeling is mutual." Audrey smiled, thinking back of how Mrs. Johnson was acting with him earlier in the day. She had rarely seen him so close to a patient in his entire career.

"Yeah, she likes teasing me a lot."

Audrey nodded quietly. There was something she had been dying to ask him since this afternoon, and she hesitated a few moments before finally speaking again.

"So, you talked to her about me?" She glanced at him, trying to gauge his reaction.

Neil snorted. He tightened his grip on the wheel and started shifting in his seat. He hadn't expecting her to dare broaching the subject. Yet here he was, finding himself in an awkward situation thanks to a beloved patient.

"Well, you know…" He waved his hand randomly, then nervously scratched his chin.

"Mm, not really. I'd like to hear the whole story, please." She couldn't help but bite her lip to contain her laugh. She was clearly enjoying watching him struggling that much.

"I-" He took a deep breath. "She can be very insistent sometimes. She likes to ask me lots of questions about my private life and well, I don't know how but she sensed something between the two of us and she hasn't stopped talking about you ever since." He finally blurred out.

He was hoping this would be enough for her but of course he should have known it wasn't her kind to drop it so easily.

"What did she say?"

Neil glanced at her.

"What? I'm just curious." Audrey widened her eyes, shrugging.

"Erh," He breathed out. "It's really not that interesting."

"Is it that bad?" She scoffed playfully, making Neil smile despite himself. "It's okay. I'll just have to ask her." She shrugged, looking back through the window.

He couldn't help but chuckle at the thought. If there was one thing Lim had always hated was approaching people to gossip with them, even more so when she was the main topic. He really couldn't picture her doing it.

"No, you won't." He grinned with confidence, glancing at her. He always liked challenging her.

She waited a few seconds, and then rolled her eyes at him.

"No, you're right. I won't." She finally admitted and they both ended up laughing. Slowly, the soft laughter faded away and they ended up with a smile plastered on their faces, quietly enjoying the rest of the ride.

After a while, Neil decided to turn on the radio to fill the silence. Though when he heard the song started to play, he told himself he'd be better off not doing it. The first notes could be heard and then the lyrics literally blew an icy wind onto the car.

What am I supposed to do without you

Is it too late to pick the pieces up, too soon to let them go

Do you feel damaged just like I do

Your face it makes my body ache, it won't leave me alone

And this feels like drowning, trouble, sleeping, restless, dreaming

Neil swallowed hard and glanced at Audrey, seeing her jaw tightening as she kept looking straight ahead at the road. He wondered if the song was spoking to her as well as it did to him, but then he knew she was really good at pretending she wasn't hurt and maintain a straight face.

You're in my head, always, always

I just got scared, away, away

I'd rather choke on my bad decisions than just carry them to my grave

You're in my head, always, always, always

Cracks won't fix and the scars won't fade away

Guess I should get used to this, the left side of my bed's an empty space

Out of a sudden, he rushed to turn the volume down. He cleared his throat, and they both glanced at each other. Audrey slightly smiled at him, not really knowing what to say.

"Um, you're feeling better after this morning?" He tried to change the subject.

"I'm good, just need some rest."

"Have you eaten something? I can make a turn somewhere if you're hungry."

"That sounds tempting, but the call of sleep is stronger than the food's."

Neil snorted, "Where is Audrey Lim and what you done to her?"

"Asshat." She hissed, smiling.

His smirk slowly faded away as he spotted her house in the distance.

"Here we are." He broke off the moment as he slowed down the car and stopped in front of her house. He wished the ride had been longer, but he was grateful for the short moment they had been able to share.

They both stayed quiet and seated for a brief moment, not really knowing what to say to the other. It was Audrey who finally broke the silence and spoke first.

"Thank you for the ride."

"You don't have to thank me for that." He softly smiled at her.

"It wasn't on your way home, you didn't have to do that. But you still did."

"Anything for you." He locked eyes with her.

In other times, she would have invited him to come over. But not tonight. She didn't want to cross the line, not again. She needed to stay focus on her baby and it implied protecting herself as well. She knew Neil wouldn't hurt her intentionally, but they did say a lot of mean stuff to each other over the past few months and caused a lot of unwanted pain. She didn't want that again.

Keeping him at a certain distance was also a way to help her dealing with her emotions. She wasn't sure she could resist him if she let her guard down again. She still had feelings for him, that was a certainty. But she was even more afraid of suffering and letting go than she had been before. It wasn't just the two of them anymore and they couldn't screw it up this time.

"Goodnight, Neil." She said, in a quavering voice.

"Goodnight, Audrey."

They both got a strange feeling of déjà vu, but chose to ignore it. She offered him one last smile before going out of the car. He watched her walking towards her house. He made sure she safely got inside and once her front door was closed, he finally drove off to his own house with a twinge in his heart.

Tbc…

Oh my god, I thought I was never gonna update this one! I'm really sorry to keep you waiting between updates. I'm just having a hard time concentrating on my fanfictions since the Limlendez breakup… It took me weeks to sort this chapter out and I'm not even really convinced but well, I couldn't make you wait forever either haha. I used the song Always from Gavin James. You should listen to it if you haven't yet, this song is so beautiful and I feel like it had been written just for them! I also took some hints from deleted scene and used parallels, as you may have noticed ;) Oh and one last thing, I'm not sure Lim as a private restroom in her office, but well… I decided to put one for the well-being of my story haha.

Anyway, thank you for all the reviews you keep posting and for sticking around even though it was a long wait!