Izuku really wished he could catch a break. Some people might argue that having an exciting life was a great thing! And sure it could be, when you weren't one of two people who really knew how completely fucked a situation was.

He and Shinsou had worked together as much as they possibly could to research this... Zankoku Juno. And Izuku was ashamed to say he fell behind. Normally research was something he excelled at! He used to spend hours searching quirk registries for fun. But that was before UA. Before All Might. Before One for All. Before… everything.

He was so thankful he had Shinsou on his side, Izuku didn't want to think about what would have happened if he had tried to handle this all alone. He tended to self-destruct under this kind of stress. The other teen had understood this without him saying anything and took on the research himself, instead telling Izuku to keep an eye on not-Kacchan.

It was so... infuriating. To see this imposter pretend to be his childhood friend. To see him interact with his classmates. To see him speak as if he was Kacchan. To see him use Kacchan's quirk. To see him live while Kacchan was shut away.

If he started bothering not-Kacchan more in class, started to pick more fights with the blond, no one said anything. Asui had given him a look but other than that no one actually tried to stop him. Izuku knew he shouldn't be pestering the other but... he couldn't forgive him. He'd never forgive this Zankoku Juno for stealing Kacchan's life away. For living it while the real Kacchan was locked up inside and suffering.

So Izuku became a pest. It led to fights and more than once injuries, but it was worth it to see the annoyance flash in those black eyes.

The downside? He ended up paired with not-Kacchan for the final exams. And it's not like he could fail them; he really wanted to go to the training camp with the others. He did what he could, when not-Kacchan refused to listen to him and instead attacked All Might head on, well, Izuku let him. He knew All Might wouldn't seriously harm a student. So while the fake-Kacchan distracted the teacher, Izuku ran.

He made it out the gate with time to spare and they passed. The two of them would be going to the training camp.

Yet again, it was proven to Izuku that the universe had it out for him. He thought a shopping trip would at least go smoothly.

Nope.

Shigaraki had to ruin that.

He hoped that at least the training camp after that would be better, but yet again any hope Izuku had of that was dashed when their test of courage became a nightmare. Fire and gas spread through the forest and the League of Villains attacked them. He would have dealt with that without a problem, but then he learned Kota was missing. Fear shot through his body at the fact Kota was in danger.

Izuku hadn't thought of anything else except making sure Kota was safe when he ran to the secret base.

The relief that he had been there in time to save Kota had nearly been overwhelming. He had finally… finally… managed to actually save someone. Izuku didn't care that his arms hung useless. He didn't care he practically tore himself apart facing against mUscular. All that mattered to him in that moment was that he had done something right. He had been able to save someone.

Of course that high of victory didn't last long either, not with the revelation that the villains were after Tokoyami. Things were a blur then, passing Kota to Aizawa-sensei, meeting up with Shouji, leading a rampaging Dark Shadow to Todoroki and not-Kacchan.

Things had actually been going well! Izuku was so sure he'd be able to keep everyone safe, that no one would get hurt again. No one.

He shouldn't have gotten cocky. He should've known better.

Instead he couldn't do anything but watch as once again he lost someone to villains.

Watched as red eyes, different but filled with such familiar terror, was dragged through swirling darkness.

Izuku failed again.

He tried not to let it hold him back. If Izuku let every failure hold him back he'd never get anywhere. So he ignored the dread inside, the anger at himself for being such a failure, the sorrow and fear for the state of his arms. Instead, he channeled all that into determination. He met with Kirishima, Todoroki, Iida and Yaoyorozu, went with them to Kamino, and tracked down the signal from Yaoyorozu's tracker.

And so he was there when everything went to shit.

This really was a repeating theme in his life. Just watching as everything around him fell apart and went to shit, because once again Izuku was too useless to help, too scared to move. He was Pathetic.

No.

No.

He refused to keep failing. He needed to move forward. He needed to improve. He needed to have the courage to save someone. HE NEEDED TO.

So he told the others his plan. He moved, and they moved with him until they were soaring overhead, his hand reaching out for Tokoyami and he went flying to them, pale hand in scarred one, and Tokoyami was safe.

They were all safe.

They were all able to watch, as two Symbols clashed, as the League escaped, and as…

All Might fell.

And as All Might lost the last vestiges of his power, Izuku despaired.

It felt almost unreal at how life kept moving forward. Students were moved into dorms, and training for provisional exams continued.

In the middle of it all Shinsou dragged Izuku away to Ground Beta and laid out all the information he gathered on Zankoku and his quirk, the theory on the quirk suppression gloves, every little thought and observation Shinsou had made during the time Izuku had been… busy, was laid out and explained to the green haired teen.

And then came the question of how had this happened.

How had Zankoku gotten ahold of Bakugou in the first place?

The question was pushed aside in place of planning. They discussed what they'd need and how to go about getting it. Izuku assured Shinsou he'd be the one to get the information, since Shinsou and his quirk would be invaluable in actually obtaining the gloves.

When Izuku returned to his dorm the question came back to the forefront of his mind.

How had Zankoku gotten a hold of Kacchan?

It'd been over a year. The last time Kacchan had been himself was... was before the Slime Incident.

Realization slammed into him all at once.

Zankoku was the Slime Villain.

If All Might hadn't saved Izuku….

He would've been in Kacchan's place instead.

If he hadn't taken up All Might's time….

All Might would've been able to save Kacchan sooner.

It's all Izuku's fault.

If it hadn't been for him Kacchan wouldn't be suffering.

The thoughts swirled in Izuku's brain as he broke down and sobbed.

It's all Izuku's fault.

He was able to pass the information that Midnight-sensei kept the restraints within her office. It still surprised Izuku every time how willing people were to just… tell him things? He just needed to ask a question or start a conversation and people just seemed to spill their life stories and secrets to him. It was so unnerving.

After the exchange of information and the reassurance from the other that Shinsou had things under control. They'd speak again once Shinsou had obtained the gloves.

During the weeks they spent separated, Izuku… calmed. He pushed away the emotions that'd distract him and focused. He went through the Provisional License Exam and had passed as a first year! It had been exhilarating and he couldn't help the small curl of smugness in his gut when not-Kacchan failed. Zankoku wasn't a hero. He might be here pretending to be one but it was obvious he wasn't cut out for it. The smugness didn't last long when the remedial lessons were announced.

Life and lessons continued, things changed slightly now that they lived within the dorms, but it didn't affect much. Not-Kacchan wasn't acting particularly suspicious, everyone was excited about their new licenses.

Things seemed to be looking up for once. Aizawa-sensei even introduced them to the Big Three of the school. The dynamic between the top three students at UA was interesting to say the least. Their personalities were so different but Izuku could see how seamlessly they worked around each other.

It was amazing to witness.

What wasn't as amazing was the entire class being beaten into the floor by Mirio in a matter of moments.

Izuku imagined his pride would've been more wounded if he wasn't so excited for work studies.

A call to Gran Torino had put the idea of Sir Nighteye into his head. Talking to All Might and then Mirio moved it from an idea to a reality. Actually meeting and passing Sir Nighteye's test had been almost unreal. Izuku had been so worried he failed. Failed once more at a chance to become even greater, to learn and grow even more. But he hadn't. Despite the pro's clear dislike of him and the fact he was the current holder of One for All, he was still accepted into the agency.

Izuku should really realize that whenever he gets something nice things always go bad.

It was supposed to be a simple patrol.

That was Izuku's first mistake. He'd forgotten again that things were never allowed to be simple for him.

He and Mirio were supposed to have a relaxed patrol, Bubble Girl and Sir Nighteye were the ones who were watching the Shie Hassaikai. But.. but then there was this little girl, and her eyes were so red, and so so familiar.

Wide bloody red eyes filled with so much fear and desperation, a small trembling voice asking him, begging him, not let her go, it stole the breath from Izuku's body as he held her, for one moment, the little girl's long white hair faded away and was replaced with spiky blond instead, and Izuku knew.

He'd do anything to keep her safe.

He'd do anything to remove the fear from her eyes.

His stomach twisted and he held the little girl close, gently, he'd save her, save him, he wouldn't let anyone hurt Kacchan. No not Kacchan, Eri?

Izuku could barely focus, all his attention centered on big red eyes. Until his mask was being shoved over his face and he looked up at Mirio, eyes wide and his eyes grew even wider as he turned his stare to who could only be the young head of the Shie Hassaikai.

Fuck.

Having to watch Eri go back with that man, despite being so utterly terrified of him, it did something to Izuku. It broke something in him. He couldn't stop seeing blond hair over her white, another face full of fear overlapping hers, the same big red eyes, round and shiny with terror and tears.

Izuku would save Eri.

Izuku would save Kacchan.

Nothing would stop him.

Being forced to wait aggravated Izuku in ways he didn't think was possible. It made him more aggressive in training and he was getting snappy, his classmates had picked up on it enough that even Iida had noticed his foul mood.

The wait came to an end days later.

Izuku noticed he and a few others followed the same path to the same building, he didn't understand it at first but then the meeting was called and Sir Nighteye spoke.

What information Izuku managed to focus on was an eyeopener, in many ways.

Chisaki was using his daughter to create quirk destroying bullets. It was horrifying. How could anyone do that to their own flesh and blood? How could anyone do that to a child?

Another part of him though.. Another part of him clung to the idea of the bullet. If.. if he used that on Kacchan… wouldn't it stop Zankoku?

But what about Kacchan's dream of being a hero?

But… wouldn't Kacchan rather be free?

Being quirkless wasn't so bad.

No!

He couldn't do that. He'd never be able to get his hands on the bullets anyways.

It was like Aizawa-sensei said, he had to keep looking forward. He'd use his head, he and Shinsou would figure it out.

It'd all be okay.

The actual day of the raid on the Shie Hassaikai's base couldn't come sooner. He'd spent every day in the gym taking his pent up aggressions out on punching bags and whoever he could convince to spar with him.

It was so frustrating

He had thought he'd gotten good at waiting, but knowing things were so close, made it so incredibly hard.

But the wait was over.

The heroes had discovered the correct base, plans were set into motion to raid it. The police handed out slips of paper with information and Izuku could barely take in any of the information, the buzzing in his head and the coiled tightness in his gut was distracting. He could barely acknowledge the fact Aizawa-sensei was joining his team. Probably to keep him from doing something stupid. He was the problem child for a reason after all.

Then the gates were thrown at them quite literally and it was time. Time seemed to blur as they rushed in, pros and police splitting off to handle the yakuza as they came up, Sir opening up the secret doorway, running downstairs, busting open the wall with Kirishima.

Things only seemed to pull into focus when Mirio separated from the group, rushing off to go on ahead. Izuku wouldn't let him go alone. Blood was rushing in his ears, he couldn't hear the sound of Sir and Aizawa screaming after him. He didn't see the wall he kicked open close up behind him due to Irinaka's control.

All he could see was blond hair and broad shoulders as Izuku chased after him broking down wall after wall.

And then there she is.

All his focus narrows in on that tiny body.

He barely notices Mirio stumble before talking and taking down enemies.

All Izuku can see is white (blond) hair and wide terrified red eyes.

He can't let her (him) get away.

He won't lose Eri (Kacchan) a second time!

Everything's moving so fast. Izuku moved on instinct, dodging with Mirio, helping defend the little girl (boy) in the blond's arms.

Fighting against Overhaul was like nothing he experienced before.

From the corner of his eyes he could see as an underline took aim at Eri, shot at Eri, as Mirio protected her with his body. Watched as Mirio lost his quirk.

He doesn't remember much of the next several minutes.

Izuku remembers hitting the underling.

Grabbing the gun and a bullet.

Having just enough recognition to hide the weapon in his suit.

He remembers fighting Overhaul.

The wall breaking.

Sir and Aizawa.

The stone spikes.

All the blood.

Using 100% of his quirk.

Holding Eri, the pain of her quirk fixing his body as he broke it over and over and over and over.

Kept breaking it until Chisaki went down and stayed down.

Until he was sure the threat was gone.

That Eri (Kacchan) wouldn't be hurt again.

Izuku didn't look at the weapon again until he was back at UA. He didn't know how he kept it hidden, everything at the hospital had been a blur of adrenaline and grief. The loss of Nighteye almost outweighed the relief of being useful, at saving someone.

Did it really count if he still lost someone in the end? Izuku didn't want to touch those thoughts. He couldn't handle it. Not alone. Not now. Maybe not ever.

So he packed up and went to the one person he knew he could trust in all this.

He went to Shinsou.

And that's what led to this.

"Midoriya. Is that a fucking gun?"

Izuku couldn't help but giggle hysterically at the sheer astonishment in Shinsou's voice when he showed the other his prize. The… gun was surprisingly heavy and Izuku was careful to keep his finger off the trigger. The ammo was precious and he only managed to get one. He couldn't risk wasting it by accident. Especially not after everything he went through, everything he lost to get it.

"Shinsou… I think we need to revise our plans. This.. is our plan B."

He set the weapon between them and he explained. He didn't care about the trouble he'd get in for this. He was already going to be in trouble if anyone found out he took the gun in the first place, so what was a little more? Afterall, sometimes it's better to ask forgiveness instead of permission.

So he told Shinsou everything. About Shie Hassaikai, about Eri, about her quirk, and most importantly, what Chisaki Kai used her quirk to create. He told him everything, about the pain, the loss, the fear.

By the end of it all Shinsou's skin held a green tinge, but Izuku knew the other understood.

This was the last resort.

If they failed… they could still save Kacchan, at a cost.

A cost Izuku knew Kacchan would be willing to pay.

He had to be.

Planning for things like this was harder than anticipated. The two of them had to discuss and plan around any and every possibility they could think of. What if Zankoku broke free of Shinsou's quirk or the gloves? What if he wasn't alone? Kirishima and a few others had taken to hanging around not-Kacchan a lot more recently. There were so many what ifs they had to discuss and plan around but eventually… things came together.

In the end they settled on something simple. It'd be easier to work around a simple plan if something went wrong than if they made something elaborate.

It'd just be the two of them. It all hinged on Izuku being Izuku and Zankoku acting as Kacchan.

They'd do it tonight.

Everything would be over soon.

As the sky darkened and Izuku felt jittery. It would finally happen tonight. Things were going to end tonight.

He'd be able to save Kacchan tonight.

With that thought filling him, Izuku confronts not-Kacchan.

"Kacchan, there's something I need to tell you about my quirk."

It was so easy, any hesitation at being cornered by Izuku was erased with that simple sentence. He could feel that dark and heavy gaze lingering on him, the small out of place smile still curled on Kacchan's face as he was followed to Ground Beta. The cold heavy weight at the small of his back kept him grounded, reminding him he needed to do this right.

That they wouldn't have a second chance at this if they failed.

If they failed chances were they were going to die.