Touya knows what's coming.
He knows the instant he hears the raised voices. The second he hears Daddy's voice turns to full on shouting he's gone, moving so quietly as he scrambles to his room, the panic already settling into his bones.
He knows hiding won't change anything, he knows, but some little part of him can't help it. Can't help but hope if he hides good enough this time, then maybe... Maybe he'll be okay!
Touya wasn't a very good liar.
He hides in his closet this time, presses as far back as he can, even pulls some of his clothes around himself to blend in. He can feel his little heart pound in his chest, like a little bird trapped in a cage.
Touya holds his breath, scared to even breathe as the door creaks open. Bright, bright eyes squeeze shut and he prays, prays so hard in his heart and head that please, please, please, please, don't find me.
He can hear the footsteps move around his room, his heart is beating too loud and he wishes it would be quiet.
The closet door creaks open.
"Ah, there you are Touya."
She looks like an angel, she looks like a demon. A soft comforting smile that she always gives Fuyumi and Natsuo, white hair, so soft and pretty, practically glowing, the red mark on her cheek that's already turning purple.
She reaches for him, her big, big hands curling around his bandaged arm, squeezing it so tight Touya can't bite back the yelp of pain.
"Mommy.. Mommy please don't.. Please.."
He knows it won't work, it never does, but he can't help but try, can't help but hope maybe this time, maybe if he asks nice enough Mommy won't hurt him.
It never works.
She drags him out, one hand around his scrawny little arm, the other curled in bright red hair, Daddy's hair. Mommy hates Daddy.
Mommy hates Touya, because Touya looks like Daddy.
He knows there's no use trying to fight with her, he's too small and she's so big, so much stronger than him. Touya can only sit there and watch as she gently unrolls the bandages from his body, revealing so many marks. Big ugly marks. Red and black skin, oozing blister, open bleeding muscle.
Tears well up in his eyes. He hates how gentle she is at this part, how she pretends she cares as she tuts at all the marks.
The tears spill down his cheeks as she presses her hand to his skin, the lovely little smile still on her face as her hand gets cold. Colder and colder and colder, until his skin is turning red, then pale and finally settling on black.
It hurts so much.
Touya can't keep back his sobs, big heaving sobs that steal his breath away as he watches with wide eyes as the black spreads, as Mommy touches other marks like this, spreads the black to other parts of his arms.
Cold, cold fingers gently wipe away his too hot tears, so gently and sweet Touya might have thought Mommy actually loved him.
"Oh sweetie… You look so ugly when you cry."
And then she smacks him, right across his face with all her force. It sends little Touya crashing to the ground with renewed sobs. He knows tomorrow he'll have a mark there, a mark that matches the purple on her own cheek.
"God, you're so ugly. You look just like him."
Looks just like Daddy.
Mommy kicks him this time, her foot pressing into the oozing marks on his arm. Touya tries to curl up, to get away from the hurt, he hurts so much.
"I'm sorry Mommy, I'm sorry."
She crouches next to him, the sweet, motherly smile still on her lips as she cups his hurt cheek with her cold, cold hand, thumb tracing the damaged skin like she was trying to soothe the hurt. Touya knows he shouldn't, knows it's just another trick of Mommy's, but it feels so nice, he can't help but lean into her touch.
He knows she doesn't care.
But he can't help but wish she did.
Touya gasps at the slap, at sharp nails raking cuts across his cheek. He can feel blood welling up in the new marks already, so hot it burns as it trails down his face.
"How DARE you. HOW DARE YOU TOUCH ME. YOU FILTHY MONSTER."
Deceptively delicate hands wrap around his thin neck, growing colder and colder as they squeeze so tight.
And Touya can't breathe.
He tries so hard to gasp for breath, her hands so cold they burn as she squeezes the air from him, squeezes so, so tight Touya knows the marks might never fade.
He starts to struggle when she doesn't let him breath, little legs thrashing, trying to throw her off and his small hands scrabble against her larger ones. Tiny nails gouging out the skin on her hands and wrists, leaving bloody marks on her pale skin.
It hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts Mommy please it HURTS.
Spots start to dance across his vision, and Touya can feel himself growing weaker and weaker. It's getting so hard to think any more.
"Mommy?"
Cold hands loosen from around his neck and Touya breathes. Gasps and coughs as he tries to take in lungfuls of air. His head feels so woozy and his chest burns.
"Fuyumi darling, what are you doing here? Is something wrong baby?"
Mommy moves away from him, taking the cold with her as she moves to Fuyumi, all her attention on her sweet, perfect daughter. Touya can feel his twin's curious gaze on him as he coughs and gasps for air, his face a mess of blood, tears, spit and snot.
"Natsuo fell and hurt his knee, Mommy. He wants you to kiss it better like you always do."
"Oh no! My poor little Natsuo! All right, come along baby, let's go take care of your brother."
The door slides shut behind them and Touya is left there, body and heart aching with pain.
Left him there wishing he was good enough for Mommy to love him too.
"I'm sorry Mommy."