A/N: Thank you for your patience! I went ahead and deleted the A/N I had uploaded, and for those of you who read it, thank you for your understanding. I had a busy weekend. You all are the best! And as promised, I've uploaded my next chapter as soon as I possibly could.
I'm watching the towering iceberg slowly drift down the starboard side of the ship. It's so close that you don't even have to extend your arm to reach out and touch it. Many people are doing just that; reaching out to touch the one object that may kill two-thirds of everyone on board.
My spine stiffens at the thought.
Seeing it in person…it's the biggest fucking thing I've ever laid my eyes on.
My hands are still shaking, and I can't believe that everyone's life aboard the Titanic now depends on Jack Phillips and the Californian. It is officially out of our hands. We've done everything humanly possible to change the course of history.
More than anything, I want to tell Casey that it's all going to be okay. But I can't.
I have to refrain from saying it out loud. At least until I'm certain that our plan worked.
While she does appear to have snapped out of her frozen state, I still refuse to give her even an ounce of hope while it can be crushed just as quickly. But for right now, I need her to live in the severity of the situation. I need her to be aware of the reality.
I can feel Casey bring her arms around my waist hesitantly, like she's afraid I'm going to bolt the moment she dares to touch me. No matter how screwed up of a situation we ever find ourselves in, I will never pull away from her touch. Not like I used to, at least.
"Derek?" she says my name, resting her chin against my shoulder.
"Hmmmm?" I acknowledge but remain with my back to her. I can't let her see how terrified and scared shitless I really am.
"What's the plan?"
"Plan?" I murmur, mimicking her question.
"Yea, the plan. Now that we've hit the iceberg, do we just…jump off and hope we get transported back home?"
"Fuck no," I say quickly, scoffing at the ridiculous suggestion. My tone is harsh and there is a sharp bite to my voice. I am cringing the moment the words fly out of my mouth. Now is not the time to treat Casey like I used to. I told myself that we were going to be partners and see this entire nightmare through together. I fully expect to be all brave and shit while I ride the ship down with the love of my life tucked securely in my arms. But now that the moment is here, I'm beginning to have massive doubts. What sounded romantic in my mind before, now seems like a stupid ass suicide mission.
No matter how tight I hold her, I'm no match for what's about to happen. "I'm sorry, Casey." I pause before collecting my thoughts. How in the hell am I supposed to voice horrendous thoughts swirling around in my mind? I take a deep breath, trying to calm my nerves and bottled up anger that I can feel rising to the surface. "We need to stay on the ship as long as we can. You know…just in case."
Casey doesn't pretend to act like she doesn't know what I'm saying. She nods her head lightly against my shoulder before speaking once more. "I'm sorry I froze. Thanks for pushing me out of the way. I know I've been a little out of it lately."
It is in that moment that I finally choose to look over my shoulder and down into her sweet face. Those blue eyes are searching and a little afraid, but I can see that she has finally broken from the numbness that has been holding onto her ever since I told her my theory about how to get home.
Lord, I hope it's the way to get home and I'm not signing my girl's death warrant.
"You don't have anything to be sorry about, Casey," I start, moving my hand up to touch her cold cheek. I run my thumb against her smooth skin that is slightly reddened by the cold night, memorizing every single inch of her perfect self.
My God, I'm so in love with her.
My own numbness subsides as I drink her in. "I'm going to do everything I possibly can to get us home, Princess. I just hope that it's enough." Looking off into the distance behind her, loud laughter averts my attention. A bunch of dumbasses are playing with the ice that had fallen onto the deck. "It doesn't feel real sometimes, you know. It's like we're living in one long nightmare or…or we're just…" The words get lodged in my throat, declining to surface. It's a thought that I've refused to acknowledge until now.
What if it hasn't been real this entire time?
What if Casey and I falling head over heels for one another never happened and it's all been in my own head since the beginning?
I can't bare the thought.
"You think we died back at New York Harbor?" Casey finishes for me, her voice unsettling and strangely calm. My attention is immediately brought back to her as she speaks those bone chilling words. Yes, the thought did occur to me more times than I care to admit. But hearing it out loud brings about a whole new level of dread.
I force myself to meet her gaze, hating the same thoughts that have entered my own mind numerous times since this whole ordeal began. "Yea, like we're dead or some shit."
She surprises me by saying, the corner of her delectable mouth lifting in a soft smile, "well, I guess if we're already dead, then dying in the freezing cold Atlantic won't be so bad."
I can't help but smile back, loving how she is able to find a moment of reprieve from our current predicament. She's always been one to think on the 'bright side.'
"Don't you have something you would like to say to the children, Bessie?" I hear Declan say, tearing me from the intense, yet beautiful moment that Casey and I are sharing.
As much as I would love to rub this in Bessie's face and say, 'I told you so,' now is not the time.
"I…I'm sss…sorry, children. I'm sorry that I didn't believe you," she says, finding it difficult to say the words. I totally understand. Up until a few days ago, I never said 'sorry' to anyone, either. Saying sorry was for pussies…or so I thought.
"It's okay, Bessie," Casey speaks for the both of us. "I wouldn't have believed us, either."
Declan briefly pauses before clearing his throat, chiming in. "Well, then, what's our next course of action?"
I don't even hesitate before speaking.
"You have to go back to your room and grab anything valuable. Stuff them into your pockets. About now, they're figuring out how bad the damage is. You want to be ready when they start loading the lifeboats," I begin to walk away. "Casey and I will meet you up on the boat deck."
"But I thought you said men aren't allowed into lifeboats?" Bessie says before I'm out of earshot. I stop briefly, gazing over my shoulder at the two people who took us in when we had nowhere else to go. I feel like crying all over again, but somehow, I push it down. I've cried more in the past day than I have in the last ten years. I'm fucking over it.
"They aren't," I say regretfully before grabbing onto Casey's hand and walking towards the stairs that lead to the lifeboats.
"Doesn't this defeat the purpose, Derek?" I ask, trying my best to get him to meet my gaze. He's barely looked at me since the iceberg hit, aside from the sweet moment we shared before running up to the boat deck.
It's been nearly a half an hour, and the officers are just now beginning to get the lifeboats ready, swinging them out over the side of the ship and stocking them with bread and water for the passengers lucky enough to get a seat.
I reach out and grab onto Derek's shoulder to steady myself as he tightens my life jacket, making sure that it's securely in place.
"Can't be too careful, babe," he speaks quickly, a forced smirk lifting one corner of his mouth. I don't really care for him calling me 'babe.' I much prefer 'Princess', or just simply 'Case.' But at this point, I'll take any direct acknowledgement he can give me.
"But if we go down with the ship, I'll just buoy right back up?"
Derek pauses his ministrations, daring to gaze up at me. He remains silent as he takes my words in slowly, his eyes glassing over. Suddenly, he nods his head in agreement, but doesn't say anything more.
I press further. "Well, if you're going to make me wear one, you better put on a life jacket, too."
"Shit, Case. These things are fucking hideous. I wouldn't be caught...dead...in one," he says, chuckling at his own morbid joke, which I don't find funny in the slightest. His face sobers as I give him a stern look, shoving him on the shoulder. He coughs, trying to cover his amusement. "I'll put one on before we sink," he whispers so that no one else within earshot can hear.
"Promise," I say, refusing to be satisfied until I get the answer I'm looking for. I know I'm pinning him with one of my gazes that he hates with a passion. The same stare I use every time I try to get my own way and show that I'm a modern woman who plans on getting what she wants. Not only are Derek and I a strange couple because we're step-siblings and complete opposites, but I'm a feminist while Derek is a male chauvinistic pig.
I can't tell you how many times he's told me to go make him a sandwich the second I get a bit opinionated. Strong willed women like myself do not end up with men like Derek. But I can't help how I feel about him. Granted, he has come a long way over the past two years, but he's running a marathon, not a sprint when it comes to women's rights.
We'll get there eventually…if we live long enough to get there, that is.
"I promise, Miss Bossy. Now stop looking at me like that," Derek says, placing a light kiss on the end of my nose. I can't help but melt slightly at the simple, yet adorable action.
I do like this protective side of him, I must admit.
"Can I have everyone's attention please!" Officer Murdoch screams above the loud voices and hissing steam.
It's starting. I can feel myself shaking all over again, but I force myself to remain present. I refuse to go numb once more.
He's standing up as high as he can get, one hand wrapped around the rope of a lifeboat while his foot is perched on the ship. "At this time, I ask that all women and children step forward to enter into the lifeboat. This is only a precaution and we fully intend to have everyone back on the ship by breakfast, if not sooner. But for the meantime, will men please step back while we allow women and children to take their place in the lifeboat. Male children under the age of thirteen only, that is. Thank you."
The entire speech is gut wrenching. It's full of false hope. Boys who are still very much children have to stand back with the men and wait to die. And that's when the severity of the situation hits everyone.
No one is stepping forward to enter the lifeboat.
Like me, women are clinging onto their men, refusing to get into a lifeboat without them. They are standing back with their children who are too old to board, as well. Aside from a few women who are traveling by themselves or with small children, no one steps forward.
"Go on, Bessie. Get on a lifeboat, and I'll do my best to see you soon."
Bessie turns to Declan, rage in her eyes. "Are you mad!? There is no way I'm leaving you. It's out of the question. You're completely daft for even suggesting such a thing."
"Now, now, Dear. This is no time to be stubborn. Think of Imogen who will be waiting to pick us up in New York. What will it do to her if neither of us are there to greet her?"
"That is a low blow, Declan. Using our daughter to get me to leave you alone to die. I will not…"
"I'm not necessarily alone, now am I? I have Derek and Casey to keep me company."
"Madam? Miss?" Officer Murdoch says, extending his hand out to me and Bessie, looking expectantly at us. There are few people who have come up to the boat deck, and the lifeboat is barely half full.
"No, thank you," I say, stepping back out of the way.
Bessie literally smacks Murdoch's hand angrily. "Are you out of your mind? I'm not leaving my Declan behind. The nerve of some people," she says, muttering while stalking off in the other direction, Declan fast on her heels.
"Women," I hear Derek mutter underneath his breath as we watch them hurry away. I smack him against his chest but can't help but grin. Even if it's only for a moment, things feel somewhat normal.
"Prepare to lower the lifeboat!" Murdoch says loudly once again, his arms stretched out wide. The rope begins to lower, and it appears like it's happening in slow motion. I can't take my eyes off it while I watch the half full vessel slowly sink down the side of the ship, on its way towards the Atlantic below. Some women are sitting in silence, while some are crying along with their children who dared to leave their husbands and fathers behind.
My heart is already aching, and we've only just begun.
"Officer Murdoch!" A man shouts, rushing towards him with urgency. I wrinkle my brown in confusion.
I don't remember this part of history. For the past half-hour, everything has played out exactly as it should. A wide smile stretches across Murdoch's face. "Halt the lifeboat!" he yells, pausing the descent as he turns back towards us.
"Ladies and gentlemen! Please listen carefully. As a precaution, the Californian is currently making their way towards us at top speed. They will be here in approximately an hour and a half. If the need arises, we will evacuate the ship first and then proceed to collect all of those who are in lifeboats. But we will continue asking women and children to lower into the lifeboats so that there are fewer individuals aboard ship to evacuate. Take comfort in this news. Please spread the word to those who are not present. Now I will ask once again. Are there any women and children who would like to step forward at this time?"
I'm barely able to register the words that are being spoken.
I know my mouth is hanging open wide and my heart is beating from my chest.
I try to gaze up at Derek who seems to have disappeared. Off into the distance, I can see him and Declan giving one another a bare hug, laughing in excitement. At one point, Derek tries to give the older man a high five, which confuses the guy to no end. I laugh in relief as tears start streaming down my cheeks.
I don't know how they did it…but somehow Derek and Declan were able to pull off the impossible.
They came through when all hope was lost.