Off into the distance, I can see bright lights floating over the still water.
I'm willing those little circles of light to drift closer and closer so that everyone will have enough time to evacuate without the bow being completely under water. Help is so close, and aside from the unfortunate men who were working below deck when we struck the iceberg, everyone has a chance at being saved.
Moments after Murdoch announced that the Californian was on the way, I ran over to port side and looked off into the distance. I knew that it would be there. But until I realized that Derek and Declan had pulled off the impossible, I forced myself not to look. I didn't want to see the ship that was so close to us but unwilling to lend aide.
It's amazing how something miles and miles away can be seen with the naked eye when there is no land in site to obstruct your view.
I don't know how the boys did it, but I will be forever grateful that they had.
It's been forty minutes since we struck the iceberg, and maybe it's all in my mind, but I can feel myself leaning heavy to the right. While other people on board may not realize it, the bow of the ship is close to being halfway underwater.
"What are you looking at?" I can hear Derek ask from behind me as he approaches. He stops next to me, leaning on the railing with his forearms.
"The Californian," I say quietly, still not believing that they are on their way.
"I was wondering where you ran off to. I was starting to get worried," he says before turning his full attention to the distant darkness. He lets out a low whistle. "Shit, they're that close and they never helped out the first time?"
"It may seem close, but it's actually miles," I clarify. "It's kind of conflicting reports. Some said they were six miles away, while the Californian insisted that they were nineteen. I'm pretty sure they just said that because they f'd up and held a large part of the responsibility for so many deaths the first time."
"F'd up, huh?" Derek grins, bumping into my side.
"Really? You're going to mock me at a time like this?" I say, trying my best to keep a stern face, even though I can feel a smile beginning to crack. "I'm sorry I'm not loose with curse words the way you are."
"I'm not mocking, Case. It's cute," he winks, standing up straight and putting an arm around my waist. I can feel my body tremble from the contact, and it has nothing to do with my lingering fear or the cold night air. I'll never get enough of this new side of Derek. I'm beginning to crave it. I can feel him softly kiss my temple, his lips lingering for a moment before once again averting his attention back to the dark horizon.
He pauses momentarily before speaking once more. "You know, Princess," he begins in a soft and calming tone. I can tell he is trying to keep his voice as light as possible. "I hear that 1912 New York is nice this time of year."
I freeze, furrowing my brow in confusion. "And?" I press, wanting him to finish his thought.
"And…there is a ship headed straight for us, Case," he says in a near whisper. He reaches up, taking my face between his hands, his eyes searching my own with an urgency I hadn't seen before. "We can always get on the Californian…maybe follow Dec and Bessie to New Jersey. I'm pretty sure I have Declan so wrapped around my finger that we could totally mooch off him for a while."
"You don't want to go home?" I ask instantly, not fully understanding what he's trying to say.
"Casey," Derek breathes, placing his forehead against my own. He moves to wrap his arms around my waist, pulling me as close as he possibly can despite the large life jacket getting in the way. "You are my home. I don't care if we make it back to the future or live our lives in the past. I just want us to…I don't know…live?"
And that's when I pull back slightly, looking up to search his dark eyes. A chill spreads through me. "You don't think the plan will work, do you?"
"Casey…"
"Do you?" I demand harshly, needing him to say the words.
"What if…" he stops, unable to meet my gaze. "What if there is nothing to go back to?"
"There is everything to go back to, Derek. Our parents, our siblings, our friends…"
"That's not what I mean," he cuts me off, his voice barely above a whisper. "What if there is nothing? What if this is it? What if we've been given a second chance to live because the first time was cut short? Think about it, Case. You were fucking trapped and I watched you go completely lifeless. I can't see us being saved in time. You said it yourself. You've had the exact same thought. What if…what if we died and this whole thing has been some kind of crazy acid afterlife trip or some shit?"
I'm more scared now than I've ever been. I've always thought the same thing myself. But I forced it to the back of my mind, refusing to seriously acknowledge the possibility. I'm shaking uncontrollably, and the thought of never seeing my Mom again terrifies me. "I want to go home," I say, my voice breaking.
I fall against Derek's chest, his hand moving to the back of my head, holding me as tight as he possibly can.
"Is that what you really want? To try and go home?"
"I don't want you to do anything you don't want to, Derek. I'd never force you to do something so desperate and reckless, but I know that you're right. I know that the ship sinking will somehow snap us out of it. I..I…I don't know," I ramble, trying desperately to collect my thoughts. "Maybe the cold water will wake us up, or something."
"You're stretching for a miracle," Derek sighs, trying to smooth my windblown hair as he speaks. "But I know that neither of us can ever live a full life wondering if the whole thing is a fake. I don't want to live in some fantasy world, either, Casey."
"So, the plan?" I ask, needing to hear the words.
"The plan is still on. Let's go home, Princess."
Just then, a burst of fire shoots into the air, so bright that my eyes hurt.
Distress rockets.
Our harsh reality is beginning to sink in.
Any doubts I've ever had are rising with full force.
It's starting to get scary as fuck.
The front of the bow has water slowly pouring onto the deck, and very soon, it will be completely underneath the surface.
It is now 1:30 and there is only less than an hour left before the Titanic never sees the light of day again. You can hear the creaking of the ship as the bow lowers further and further into the Atlantic.
But the Californian has finally arrived.
Panic began to set in when it became painfully obvious that the ship was sinking. The decks were crowded with screaming and crying people as they clutched tight to their loved ones. But everyone knew that help was on the way.
They just prayed that it arrived in time, and it had.
Off into the distance, lifeboats are scattered with women and children, whom I'm sure are just as relieved as everyone on board is to see the much smaller ship arrive. They are pulled close as they immediately help everyone carefully evacuate, which isn't easy given how lopsided we currently are. There are still well over one-thousand living bodies on board, and they need to move fast before the damn thing snaps in half and the whole thing is over.
"Well, Derek, my boy…it looks like this is it," Declan says, reaching out to touch my shoulder, squeezing lightly.
"I'll miss you, Dec," I say sincerely. I genuinely mean it. "Thank you for everything. For taking us in…for the ring…for helping me save everyone…for helping me save you."
He gives me a sad nod, clearing his throat. It takes him several more seconds, and I can hear the strain in his voice. "You can always come to New Jersey with Bessie and me. We can introduce you to Imogen and Harold…perhaps add on another room for you and Casey to sleep. After the wedding of course."
I laugh, sniffling. Up until now, I hadn't realized I was crying. Shit. When will the fucking tears stop?
"Tempting, my man. But Casey and I need to at least try to get home. Even if we don't make it," I say, choking on those words. "I think that we were brought here for a purpose, and we somewhat succeeded. We couldn't save the ship from sinking, but at least there are families who get the chance to live a life they never got to live the first time around."
"You very much succeeded, Derek. Once again, I'm very proud of you."
"Means a lot, Dec. Thanks."
"You make it back home, you hear? And who knows, I may write you to let you know how our new life in America is working out for us."
I wrinkle my eyebrows together, chuckling. "I hate to tell you this…but you're going to be dead for a least a couple of decades before I'm even born."
He laughs, giving me a mischievous wink. "I'm aware…but who knows? I may have a few surprises up my sleeve, yet."
"We should get moving, Declan," Bessie says with urgency as she gives Casey and I one last tight hug. Sure, I never bonded with the woman like I had Declan, but she's alright if you look past the stubborn bossiness.
After all, I have a girl just like that.
"Yes, dear," he replies, turning to give Casey a light kiss on her cheek. "You take care of yourself, my girl, and watch out for this one. He needs someone like you to look after him. He's too immature and reckless for his own good."
"I heard that," I roll my eyes, smirking.
With one last hug, I watch Declan and Bessie board the Californian.
It's a bittersweet moment.
I hate the thought of never seeing them again, but I'd rather they live a full life than die a senseless death in the middle of the ocean.
I lift my hand to wave, Declan doing the same with a smile and a wink.
With one last look, I grab Casey by the hand and turn to walk away towards the stern of the ship, leaving behind our good friends.
And leaving behind our one shot at guaranteed salvation.