"Does this thing make me look fat?"

My heart is accelerated as I watch the Californian propel away from us. This is it. There is no going back now and I'm not sure how I feel about it. I'm kind of numb at the moment. But what's new? I always seem to be numb lately and I can't snap out of it.

Hopefully, that's all about to change and we can get the hell out of here and go home where we belong.

"Ahem," I hear Derek clear his throat with exaggeration. I turn back to him, lifting my eyebrows in surprise.

"Huh?"

"I saaiiiidddd, does this make me look fat?" he says again, stepping back and doing a spin, tugging on the large life jacket wrapped around his lean body. Leave it to Derek to try and distract me when I'm watching our only chance at guaranteed survival steam away from us.

"You promised you'd wear it," I say with a forced smile, though I do take a moment to appreciate how adorable he looks. "If I have to wear one…you have to wear one. That was the deal. Remember?"

"Yea, yea. And I put the stupid ass thing on. Happy?"

I shrug in response. "I am…but I still don't understand how it's going to make any difference. We're just going to rise back to the surface, which completely defeats the purpose."

Derek sighs, not meeting my gaze. "I know, Casey. I just feel better with you wearing one," he begins. "More than anything, I want to tell you that it's all going to be okay…but I can't. I don't want you to get all freaked out if it doesn't happen immediately."

I narrow my eyes, remaining silent. I know what he means.

"It took a long time the first time. Remember? I mean…who knows how long it actually took. It may not be as long as we think, but it was dragged out. That's for sure."

"We had to suffer first," I finish quickly, nodding my head in understanding, though the thought of suffering once more sounds a little less than desirable.

"I just don't want you to panic if we don't end up back in 2007 the second we hit the water, Case."

I nod my head weakly but shake it to clear my thoughts. "I don't want to talk about it anymore," I smirk, walking over to him. It's almost over and I don't want to waste the rest of the time we have left talking about our stupid plan, pondering over something we can't change now.

The help that did arrived is now long gone and they aren't coming back. We're officially on our own.

I put my arms around Derek's neck and try to get close, but with two life jackets in the way, it's not easy. I kind of feel like the Michelin Man right now.

Sooooo not attractive.

But either way, I stand on my tiptoes until our lips touch. Derek doesn't even hesitate, kissing me back with the same intensity that I feel every time I turn my gaze his way. The fire is still there, burning just as bright. But this time, it's a little different.

It's full of desperation and thoughts of an uncertain future. A future that we both long to have.

Both of our lips are freezing cold from the night air.

I finally break the kiss, pulling back to stare up at the boy I've grown to love in such a short amount of time. But who am I kidding? I'm pretty sure I've loved him all along. Even when he was hell bent on making my life miserable.

I search his dark eyes, seeing the same deep emotion within their depths.

Derek bends down in that moment, giving me a cute Eskimo kiss before pecking my lips once more, lingering softly.

He takes one of my hands in his own, and my cold skin instantly warms to the innocent touch.

We slowly start to sway, and I can't help but laugh at this new Derek. But in all honesty, I don't miss the old Derek in the least.

"There's no music," I say, listening to the eerie silence, but chuckling at his sweet gesture. About right now, the orchestra would have switched from playing lively music to hymns, signifying certain death.

"So, sue me if I want to have one measly dance with my girl aboard the grandest ship to ever be created."

I love that. My girl. I should hate it and say that 'I belong to no one', but I secretly like Derek's possessiveness when it comes to me. I'm such a romantic and I can't help it. "I'm not complaining," I say, biting down on my lower lip to keep from grinning like an idiot.

While I'm enjoying his touch far too much, I suddenly lose my footing as the Titanic becomes more uneven, the bow sinking further down into the ocean. But Derek holds me tight, steadying the both of us.

We choose to ignore the obvious. We're so close to the end now.

"H…how did you do it?" I ask to distract myself.

"How did I do what?"

"The Californian? How did you and Declan pull it off?"

Derek chuckles. "Oh, about that? Well, we decided to teach a certain someone some manners. Let's just put it that way."

I wrinkle my brow in confusion until several seconds pass and it finally dawns on me. I'm completely bewildered, but thoroughly impressed. "Jack Phillips?! You got into the Marconi room?"

"It wasn't easy, believe me. Dec and I had to knock out a few officers, steal their uniforms, make threats…well, I made threats while Dec attempted to keep me in line…"

"That sounds about right," I say, nodding my head in mock understanding before bursting out laughing.

"What's so funny?" Derek asks me, genuinely curious, but his lips twitching in amusement.

"You…teaching someone manners. I'm having a hard time picturing it. That's all."

"Hey!" Derek feigns being offended. "Even uncivilized assholes can contribute to society every now and then."

"Thank you, Der," I sober instantly, wanting him to see how much I genuinely appreciate his efforts, and all that he has done. "I'm so proud of you."

"I've been getting a lot of that lately," Derek says as he continues to sway us to the silence, his gaze momentarily glassing over. I know that he's thinking about Declan.

It's not as quiet as it had been only minutes before. I can hear the rushing water…even from the stern. My back is turned away. I don't want to see it.

I can see Derek peek over my shoulder as he swallows harshly. It's not long before his attention is turned back to me, his features softening. He's trying so hard not to be freaked out right now for my benefit. I never want him to feel like he has to hide his feelings from me. I'm not made of china. I won't break the moment he fails to protect me from the outside world.

Before I can voice these thoughts, Derek speaks.

"I have something for you," he whispers, a nervous twinkle in his eye. He lets go of my hand briefly before dipping into his pocket and pulling something out from within. I remain silent, afraid of ruining the moment. The anticipation is killing me at the thought of Derek giving me a gift.

I don't think Derek's ever bought me anything before…aside from that cheap cell phone he gave me for helping him with in-school merchandising in grade 10.

With shaking fingers, Derek once again takes my hand within his, swaying us once more. But this time, he slowly takes a ring, dragging it down my finger until it's securely in place. It's the perfect fit and I'm finding myself numb all over.

The oval sapphire stone is encompassed by diamonds in a halo twist that surrounds not only the gem, but the band, too. The sparkle is shining so bright, that it nearly hurts my eyes to look at it directly within the dim light.

"Derek," I breathe. "Where did you…how?"

"Declan gave it to me," he explains. "He told me to give it to you when the moment was right, and I was thinking about ten years from now when we're out of college and shit and having our own careers, but…I don't care if it's a year from now, or a decade from now, Casey. I want you to know that this thing between us…I'm not going to get over it like the flu. I promise to be there. Always," he says, pausing. He drops a kiss on my hand where the ring sits, and my insides instantly turn to goo.

I can see his beautiful mouth working to say the words, and I can't help but smile in anticipation. I know what he's going to say, and I long to hear every syllable. "I love you, Princess. I always have, and I always will."

"I love you, too," I say quickly, my voice breaking with unshed tears. I barely give him enough time to finish his own words before reaching up to bring Derek down for another searing kiss, praying that it won't be our last. I never want it to end. It will never be enough. The only option we have left is to make it home. I want desperately to live this life that Derek is promising me.

I want nothing more.

Suddenly, the ship begins to rise, our lips pulling apart as I start to slip backwards. I reach out to grab onto Derek, but only grasp air.

I lose my footing, falling to the hard wood below as I slowly begin to slide. I'm trying to catch myself and grapple for anything to grab onto, but there is nothing but slick flooring within my path.

"Casey!" Derek screams, dropping to his knees before reaching out, grabbing me by the hand. The instant relief I feel is immense as he immediately begins to pull my body, dragging me with him until we're clutching the white railing, all the while lifting further and further into the air.

"Should we climb over!" I scream to Derek, the panic I've been trying to quench, rears its ugly head once more.

"Not yet!" Derek yells back, holding me tight with one arm as the cracking sound begins. I can't contain my screams as the ship breaks in half, plummeting us quickly back to the water's surface. It's so rapid that I momentarily lift into the air. If it weren't for Derek's hold, I'm certain I would have fallen, and the thought of hitting all those hard objects below is not appealing.

Once again, we immediately start to rise, and Derek lets go of me to climb over the railing quickly. I already miss his touch and the security I feel from his arms wrapped around me.

"Come on, Case!" he says, reaching for my arm, dragging me over. I'm instantly dizzy given the speed we're going.

I can hear myself scream once more when it feels like we aren't going to stop. I forget history all together, and I'm momentarily certain that the entire ship is going to turn upside down with us still clutching to the stern like our lives depend on it.

It's funny how you fear death when death is imminent.

And death feels imminent in this moment, though I wish it to be otherwise.

It's too late to turn back now.

I can feel Derek grab hold of the triple knotted strings on my life jacket while also grabbing a fist full of my dress. "We're going to go home, Casey! I need you to trust in that."

"I do," I say weakly, unsure if he can even hear me. I have my doubts as we continue bobbing quietly in the night air, staring straight down into the freezing cold depths below. We go silent.

"Do you hear that?" Derek asks me out of nowhere.

I grip tight to the railing, slowly turning my head to look up at him. He's perched on one knee. "H..hear what?" I tremble.

He's looking off into the vacant blackness, his expression confused. "I…it's nothing," Derek says quickly as he continues holding tight to me.

It's unbelievable how long it takes before the ship slowly begins to descend. I immediately forget about Derek hearing things as my fear intensifies.

The lights of the ship have been out for minutes now, and we're surrounded by complete darkness. There is nothing to break up the terrifying sea below once we get sucked down with the ship.

"The second we hit the water, let go!" Derek says. "This fucker is going to speed down fast and you sure as hell don't want to get dragged down with it."

I remain quiet, watching the surface get closer and closer. "Derek," I breathe in a panic. I'm really starting to wish I hadn't been stubborn and instead chose to live in 1912 rather than take such a terrifying risk. I'm selfish and want to go home. Now that I'm face to face with my pending doom, I can't see this doing us any favors and transporting us back to 2007. The ocean wants to destroy us, not help. What in the hell was I thinking?

"Derek!" I scream, watching the ship break apart from water pressure.

"It's okay, Case. I'm not going to let go," Derek says seconds before it happens. What else can he say? There is no way out now…only down.

I'm now face to face with the endless black depths, and I take a deep breath.

I want to scream the moment the stinging water touches my skin. Instantly, it's like a thousand knives are stabbing into my entire body as it goes into shock. The ship is sucking us down despite me having let go the second we sank.

I can still feel Derek holding onto me by some miracle. I'm not sure how he has the strength to clutch me so tight when the freezing water is instantly numbing.

I open my eyes briefly, but only see darkness.

You know, in the movie you can totally see the immense ship sinking from underneath Jack and Rose. That's a total lie. They did it for effect, because I can't see anything.

There's no light…but what I wouldn't give to see Derek.

I'm screaming in my mind, willing this to be over quickly. I'm waiting for it to happen…but it never does. We're still under the water and several more seconds go by before I feel Derek risk letting go with one hand so he can grip tight to my waist. I'm completely limp in his arms and I can feel him dragging me to the surface.

No, no, no, no.

This isn't supposed to happen. We need to drown and get the hell home. Maybe I should have hung on to the ship, waiting for my head to explode, ending the torture early.

Derek is dragging us to the surface, and the moment my body reaches the ice-cold air, I'm wishing for a swift death despite gasping to breathe.

The water is fucking cold, and I can barely hold onto Casey, but I promised I wouldn't let go. I can't break that promise. When I feel the suction ease up, I start to kick my way back to the surface, and I'm so frantic to fill my lungs with air, that I momentarily forget about our purpose. I know that staying below the surface will end the pain faster, but I'm dying to breathe. I can't think of anything else.

I gasp for air the moment we break the surface, Casey doing the same. The sound of her breathing is like music to my ears, but when she turns around, the site instantly makes me regret my decision to put on stupid life jackets and bring us back to the surface. Shit, I'm regretting not getting on the Californian and living in New Jersey with Declan.

Even if our entire life ended up being a fantasy, it would be a hell of a lot better than our current reality.

Her skin is already a pale blue and every breath she takes is stark white. It will all be over soon. There is no way we can survive in this water.

"D…Derek," she shivers, holding onto me with the best grip she can possess. I don't answer her but start to look around. I'm not sure what I'm looking for. There is floating debris all around us, and I guess I'm looking for something large enough to hang onto so we can rest.

"Come on, Casey," I say weakly, hanging onto her hand as I drag us across the Atlantic and towards a deck chair nearby. I saw Captain Smith and the ship's baker throwing them overboard before the Californian arrived so that people would have something to cling onto in the water, just in case.

I can feel the ring on Casey's finger, firmly in place, reminding me of why we're doing this.

I know that it's too fucking early to put a ring on it, but what if I never got the chance? I did it for Casey…I did it for myself.

I did it for Declan.

I made that promise to Declan and I intended to keep it. And no matter what happens, that promise won't be in vein.

We finally reach the chair and I bring it closer to Casey, waiting for her to grip tight before I lean my arm upon it, while one arm remains below the water, securely wrapped around her waist. I take a moment to breathe, and I know we should keep moving to keep the blood pumping, but the cold really takes it out of a person.

Besides, I don't want to prolong the inevitable.

"It ddd…dddinnnn'ttt w…work," Casey shivers, her whole body shaking beneath my touch.

"It'll work, Casey," I say firmly, trying desperately to believe my own words. "I…I tttttoooold you that the fffirst time it took for fucking ever."

"Drowning, Derek. Not hy…hypothhhermia."

"Dying is dd…dying, Case. Just give it a minute."

I can't believe I just said that.

Both of us go silent in that moment, taking it all in. There is nothing to do but wait. Living out the same hell that 1500 people endured nearly a century ago is mind numbing. The only thing missing are the screams. You gain a whole new perspective and appreciation for what everyone went through. Just like now, no one is coming back to rescue us, but back then, there were people in nearby lifeboats listening to the cries and choosing to ignore them.

But there weren't enough seats to save everyone. What could they do but wait for the screams to die down and go back for the few who could somehow survive more than ten minutes in water as cold as ice?

Derek!

I snap my head to attention, hearing the voice again. The same voice I heard when Casey and I were balanced on the stern. I don't recognize who it's coming from.

It's much clearer this time, and I fear that I'm beginning to hallucinate.

Derek! Can you hear me?!

"D…do y…you hhear that?" I stammer out, gazing over at Casey, whose head is perched against the wooden chair. Her long brown locks are forming crystals, turning to brittle ice, and my heart aches at the sight.

"I…I dddon't hear aaanyyything," she chokes out, gazing at me from beneath her heavy lashes. "Why do you kkeep saying that? What do you hhear?"

"I think it's happening, Case," I say, willing my voice to remain as steady as possible. "I can hear ssssomeone calling my nname. You don't hear it?"

"I don't hear anything," Casey says, sadness etched in her voice.

My moment of excitement is short lived. Casey not hearing the voice that is screaming loud in my ear is a bad sign.

Again! Clear! Derek! Can you hear me?!

No, no, no, no.

This cannot be happening.

If Casey can't hear it then…

Suddenly, I can feel my body stiffen and I can barely breathe. I'm trying so hard to stay awake. I cannot go before Casey. I can't leave her out here all alone, but I can feel myself being pulled. It's like someone is reaching into my chest with their bare hands, ripping at my heart.

"Derek? Are you okay?" I can faintly hear Casey say my name, but my eyes are slowly drifting shut, and there is nothing I can do to stop it.

"Soon…Princess," I say quietly, forcing myself to speak. "You'll come home…soon."

"Derek! Derek!" I can hear Casey scream weakly, shaking my body. "Derek! Don't leave me. Please. I love you."

And with those sweet, yet desperate words, the world fades away and I no longer feel the biting cold as I leave Casey behind to suffer alone.

"Again!"

"Clear!"

A bright light instantly seers into my retina, burning my vision despite my eyes remaining closed. My chest is on fire. I can feel something trying to rip my heart from my flesh and I want to reach inside to massage the pain away.

"We have a heartbeat!"

I can feel something being placed over my nose and a bunch of other shit that is annoying the fuck out of me. I want to lift my arms and punch someone, but I can't move.

I'm trying to remember what just happened? My thoughts are a jumbled mess.

Casey and I dying.

Declan and Bessie.

The Titanic.

The freezing Atlantic Ocean.

Leaving Casey alone.

"C…Casey?" I choke out, needing to see her.

I need to know that she made it back and that she's okay.

I know that I made it home. I'm sure of it. I hear the modern noises.

I can hear Lizzie screaming.

"Clear!" the sound of someone yelling that familiar word pierces into me and I force my eyes to open despite the blinding pain. I turn my head to the sound, and that's when I see her. Casey on the hard ground, her shirt ripped open in the front as a team works to restart her heart.

She's dead.

She can't be dead. I was brought back. We were supposed to come home together.

"Clear!" her body rises off the ground before slamming back down as she remains unmoving. Her sweet face is lifeless and my newly beating heart is tearing to shreds.

I can see Dennis standing near her, his clothes soaked as he holds onto Lizzie who is completely frantic. I'm not sure if they've even realized my own heart has been restarted...not like I care. Casey is all that matters.

Come on! Wake up! "Casey."

I need to go to her, but my body isn't moving. I can't move. I suddenly find myself strapped down and taken away from her. I'm put into the back of an ambulance, and I tell them that I can't go, but I'm too fucking weak to make them stop.

I'm saying her name over and over, but everyone is ignoring me and it's as if I'm trapped within my own body and mind.

I'm starting to get pissed. Why in the hell is everyone ignoring me? It's not long before I feel a needle press into my skin, that I feel myself slipping once more.

The fuckers are sedating me.

Can they even do that when I was literally dead only moment ago? I must be acting like a total lunatic. But can you blame me?

It's not long before I lose consciousness once more, thoughts of the girl I love running rampant in my mind.

She's dying and I'm completely helpless to save her.