Drink after drink was pouring down his throat. He was sitting on the porch of his trailer and looking at scans. She really wasn't a best case scenario, her labs showed that she hadn't been eating properly and clearly didn't have a lot of sleep. He sighed. He needed to save her, but how? Last months were repeating in his mind, him and Addison... it… marriage was over a long time ago, but they kept trying. For what? They don't have kids. They're different now. And he knows he doesn't love her anymore the way he should and that she is not the one, she never was. How did he get there? Did he deserve what he got? Why does life need to be so damn hard? He simply didn't get it. He just wanted to turn back time and be with Meredith again, when everything seemed so easy and perfect. Damn, he missed her like hell. And yes, time for another drink.

He kept looking at Meredith's scans when he heard a car approaching. It was his wife. Addison was home.

"Hey. It's cold here, why are you sitting outside?" she wondered. "Come on, Derek"

He didn't move, just kept sitting in the same place. Then she sat beside him and took the scan from his hands.

"Damn. That tumor. Is it your patient? I'm so sorry Derek. Must be awful"

"That's Meredith Grey's tumor" he said, sounding absolutely empty

"Oh my God, Derek" she was obviously shocked "What are you going to do?"

There were tears falling off his face

"I don't know, Addie. I can't let her die. I just ….can't...I love her… and i can't change it, I can't hide it and I don't know what to with myself anymore" He looked at her sadly "I'm sorry Addison, I really am"

She took his glass of scotch and drank it in one take. Then waited a minute.

"That's not your fault. None of this is. I shouldn't come here, I should've been a better person and let you go. I know you love her, I really do. We've tried, but this clearly isn't working. It's okay, Derek. It really is. I'll sign the divorce papers." she was quiet for a second "Naomi called me last week, she offered me a job in LA, and i accepted four days ago. I'm sorry I didn't tell you, but I want you to know that I was going to leave anyway. I'm sorry "

He looked at her, tearing up again.

"Thank you, Addie for 11 years. I'll always love you" he got up and hugged her, they stood like that for some time, saying goodbye to each other.

"And Derek, fight for her, make sure she'll live and do whatever it takes. You deserve to be happy, an so does she"

"I think I have an idea"

Derek Shepherd hasn't left hospital for three days in a row, most of the time he was closed inside his office, working on something. And only Cristina Yang knew what he was working on.

Addison left that night, and they finalised their divorce as soon as possible. Everyone in the hospital was interested in what the hell happened and interns were wondering where the fuck is Meredith Grey.