I'm at a small diner nursing my coffee, gazing back at Nora with the same silent apprehension that she is currently giving me.
She said that she wanted to 'talk,' but she's not saying anything.
Right now, we're having a staring contest, both of us refusing to speak first.
Can you say awkward?
She's waiting for me to begin, but what in the hell am I supposed to say? I'm convinced that no matter what spiel I ramble off to her, she won't believe a word of it. She'll say I'm using Casey for my own sick amusement. I've heard it all before.
Nora clears her throat, and I can see the wheels turning in her head as I bring the cup to my lips and take a sip. I refuse to be the first to give in. After all, I'm the one that she should be apologizing to.
Maybe then I can freely tell her how much I care about Casey and that I'm not going anywhere, no matter how hard she fights against us.
"Are we really not going to say anything?" she sighs, a small smile tugging at the corner of her mouth. Her tone is much different than it has been, and I'm completely baffled. But I'm too scared to get my hopes up. This has to be some kind of trick.
"I'm not sure there is much to say," I lie.
"My God, Derek, do you really believe that?" she asks, running a hand through her hair before looking thoughtfully out the window. She looks like she's a million miles away. It's not hard to miss how much she's aged in such a short amount of time. When she begins to speak again, I freeze. "Dennis said that I should talk to you; that I should give you a chance to prove yourself. But you need to understand that this came out of nowhere Derek – at the worst possible time imaginable. It makes no sense to me. Why? After all this time? Why after all the fighting and the hatred?"
"Nora…"
"That's not what I want for Casey," she interrupts me, and I can feel my chest beating unnaturally.
I furrow my brow, leaning forward to rest my arms on the table. "What is it you don't want for Casey?" I whisper anxiously, treading lightly.
"For her to end up with someone like you," she blurts out, and it instantly feels like a knife has been shoved into my gut. "It's not right, Derek. Yes, I worry about your wandering eye and how easily you get bored. I worry about a lot of things…but most of all, I worry about…about the – the way you treat her."
"I haven't been that bad, Nora," I scoff, trying to make light of what she just said. She's blowing this way out of proportion. It's not like I've ever beat on Casey physically. Sure, I've tossed her around a few times, but I've never left a mark. At least none that I'm aware of. I used to berate Casey to get a rise out of her, and nothing more. I thought she was hot when she was screaming at me. I was a stupid teenage boy. What do you expect?
"You've always gone out of your way to make her miserable."
"And now I'm going out of my way to fix it," I say in defense, not believing the conversation we're having. "Have you not seen me with her for the past two weeks!"
"She had to have an emergency appendectomy, and all you cared about was ruining her birthday party," Nora says in a rush, and I can feel the strain in her voice. "Your complete lack of empathy scares me sometimes."
I open my mouth to bark back and defend myself, but then shut it just as quickly. People can live without an appendix. It's not like she was having open heart surgery.
As I gaze back at Nora, whose eyes are red rimmed with tears and anger, I suddenly realize that she's right. I've been horrible to Casey in more ways than even I have realized. Sure, I was the first person there when she woke up, and I made sure to video tape the party for her, but I never gave a shit about her surgery. I automatically took for granted that she was going to be okay.
I never should have gone to that party to begin with.
I only cared about what I wanted.
It's always been about me.
Until now.
"I'm not going to sit here and try to convince you that I'm good for Casey. I'm not. I know that. I'm a shitty person who doesn't deserve someone so amazing. She's beautiful and perfect inside and out. She's everything I'm not. But you think that our relationship happened out of nowhere," I ask, determined to meet Nora's eye no matter how difficult it may be. I take a moment to find the right words, but I'm not sure that's possible. I swallow hard. "Her and I…we've been dancing around each other for far too long. Since day one. When I heard her screaming before she hit the water…I didn't hesitate for one second before jumping in after her. I can't imagine my life without her, Nora. You have to believe me. I'll never treat her like that again."
Several moments of silence linger on. What else am I supposed to say here? Nora's eyes have softened considerably. She looks frozen, but she's gazing at me like she's seeing me for the first time. "I do understand your concerns, but you don't know what it was like watching her die right before my eyes. I was powerless to stop it. I couldn't save her, and that will haunt me until the day I die. But I do love her. I'll never want anyone else."
"You're both still so young, Derek. You don't know that," she says, and I have a feeling she's doubting her own words. Maybe I can break through after all.
"I do," I state firmly, my jaw clenching tight. "I've always wanted her. I've just been waiting for the time to be right. And let me tell you, this is the shittiest timing ever. I get that. But it's happening, so you can either be happy for us, or continue fighting against us. I'm not going anywhere, no matter how hard you ride my ass."
"Even if it takes me years to get use to the idea?" Nora questions, that same small smirk returning on her lips.
I nod, trying to calm my rapidly beating heart. "Even if it takes decades."
"Okay," she says, surprising me. She's nodding her head, and I'm convinced I misheard her. No way can it be that easy.
"Okay?"
"Okay. But if you slip back into your old nasty habits," she says, pointing a figure at me, "then there will be World War III in our house. Do you understand?"
"Perfectly," I say quickly, knowing that I can keep that promise. I fully intend to perch Casey upon a pedestal for the rest of our lives. She's my Queen, and I'll forever treat her like one, there's no doubt. I take another sip, spitting it out at Nora's next statement.
"And there will be no sex. Understood?"
I cough, choking, not expecting our serious conversation to take such a drastic turn. "Excuse me?"
"You heard me," she says in a smug voice as she delicately cuts into her cold pancakes. Neither of us have touched a bite of our food until now.
"Nora…"
"My child is sixteen years old," she states firmly, pointing her fork in my direction. "I know you, Derek. I know what's running through that hormonal teenage head of yours. There will be no sex…or once again, there will be World War III in our house."
I'm now gazing at Nora like she has three heads. I can't help myself. Okay, I get it. Casey and I are underaged. Any parent would forbid such a thing, but come on?! We're talking about years of built up sexual tension. The last thing I want to do is talk to Nora about something so personal, especially when it concerns her precious perfect daughter who can do no wrong. But I'm not going to lie to her either.
I can slowly feel the old Derek creeping to the surface, and I'm trying my best to keep him down. But despite my efforts, I roll my eyes. "I know how to use protection, Nora," I say, leaving out the part where I almost took her virginity without a condom in site. That kiss had me losing what little sense I ever had to begin with.
Nora drops her fork with a loud clank, startling everyone in the small diner. I look around, noticing several pairs of eyes on us, and I soon realize that maybe I should have lied after all. "That is not the point," she says through gritted teeth.
I hold her gaze steady, "I get your point, but…"
"No, I don't think you do," she cuts me off once again. "Otherwise, we would not be having this conversation."
"Fine," I growl, hitting my fork hard against my plate, picking the entire pancake up and shoving it into my mouth. I have to stuff my face to keep from saying something I might regret.
"Good," Nora smiles brightly for the first time in what seems like ages. "I'm glad we're finally on the same page.
"Mmhmm," I moan half-heartedly, more annoyed now than ever. I know that it shouldn't matter, but let's get real. It totally does. The love of my life almost died…we almost died. And now that we're completely in love with each other, I have to keep my hands to myself? Well, maybe not my hands, but something else very important and throbby.
I've been yearning for Casey to get better so that I can take her home and finally make love to her. I want to strip her clothes off with my teeth and hear those sweet moans for hours. Those same moans she makes whenever I kiss her passionately. She's so fucking perfect, and Nora is hell bent on castrating me.
She has literally shot me in the balls.
"You seem to be thinking awful hard over there?" Nora breaks me from my thoughts, a taunting grin on her lips.
"No, no," I say quickly, shrugging with indifference. But I feel anything but indifferent. "I'm just enjoying my cold pancakes…thinking about those relaxing icy showers I'm going to have for the rest of my adolescent life." Okay, I'm being a smartass. It's what I do best. I can feel my eyes squinting in contempt as the sarcasm drips from my lips.
And then Nora does the one thing that I never expected her to do. Laugh.
She's laughing, but it's not in that crazy lunatic laugh like before.
A raise an eyebrow in question. "What's so funny?"
"Everything," she nods her head, motioning for the waitress to bring our check. "Everything is funny, Derek. It's like our entire lives have turned into one big joke, and I'm anxiously waiting for the punch line. But there is no punch line. There will never be a punch line. Only you and me sitting at a diner, talking about what's best for my daughter."
"Nora…"
"I'll put her on birth control when we get home because you can't be trusted. But don't even think for one second you are marrying her until after college. I can see the determination in your eyes when it comes to Casey. And that ring…I don't want to know the real story. I'm afraid that if I know the real story, I'll flip out more than I already have. Promise ring, my ass," Nora grumbles, grabbing her purse and standing up abruptly. "I'm trusting you with her feelings. Don't make me regret this, Derek."
Before I can say another word, she walks out the front door and far away from me, leaving me shocked and alone.
What in the hell just happened?
I think I won, but it doesn't feel that way.
I know that I have a long road ahead. I'm going to have to prove myself over and over, and I'm completely up for the challenge. Casey is officially mine, and there will be nothing standing in our way from this moment forward.
Just then, the waitress sits down the check, and I realize that Nora stuck me with the bill. I chuckle lightly. Well played. She chews me out and then makes me pay.
I guess she could do worse things like continue to treat me like a diseased rat.
I pull my wallet out and quickly realize that Edwin still has Dad's credit card. Luckily, I always carry some tip money from Smelly Nelly's with me, and I'm about to flip a twenty on the table until I realize that we're in America. Doubt they take Canadian money.
Shit.
Pulling out my cell, I call my little brother so that he can make his way over to the diner across the street to pay the bill.
Even when I lose…I still win.