It hurt. Light hurt. Too bright.

"Ouch" she groaned, trying to open eyes again and again.

Derek, who's been sitting in the chair beside her in the ICU for the last 8 hours, got up and looked at her, it took her quite a while to wake up. And there it is. Moment of truth.

A tear ran down her beautiful face as she opened her eyes and looked at his "Omg, you couldn't do it. You didn't take it out ... The tumor. You didn' t….Damn it, Derek " she started crying quietly.

He titled his head and tears started to run down his face, as well as hers. It was too much and he finally let himself express hidden emotions.He didn't want to cry or get too emotional, but there is a woman, the love of his life, whose life he'd saved hours ago. He didn't care about the medical breakthrough he did or ground-breaking surgery, he cared only about a woman he'd saved. That's all that matters. She was alive and tumor free.

"You have no idea how much I love you, Meredith Grey … you have no idea." he whispered.

She looked askingly at him, clearly confused.

"I took out all of the tumor. It's gone, it's over"

"You love me?" tears kept falling down.

"So much that it hurts." he stroked her cheek.

"I love you too" she whispered and smiled, her eyes tearing up again "But my head still hurts".

"It's going to get better, I need to do a neuro check up really fast and I'll let you sleep" he looked so happy, which is exactly how he felt, the last 24 hours seemed unreal to him. It is going to be fine. She is going to live and he should do everything in his power to prove that he loves her and wants her in his life. Now, Derek Shepherd had a reason to live.

He stroked Meredith's cheek, who was asleep for half an hour and he decided to leave an ICU to shower and to check on his patients. He felt… so peaceful and full of hope. It was good. Finally good. No wife, no marriage to fix, no hopeless dreams of being with the woman, who was the love of his life, no sleepless nights. There is no more of that, he felt free.

He checked on the patients and changed into clean scrubs, ate a sandwich from the cafeteria and on the way to Meredith's room he met Dr.Bailey.

"Dr. Shepherd, congratulations! What you did there - unbelievable." she stopped for a second, looking closely at him. "How is she?"

"She's good, very good, considering the level of difficulty of that kind of surgery, so she's fascinating, one for the books, you know"

"And how are you?"

"Shocked… um… very happy actually"

"Don't hurt her ever again" she almost whispered.

In answer he just nodded. He needed to be with her, with his Meredith. When he reached her room, she was sleeping soundly. He smiled and sat beside her, checking vitals. Stable, perfect, post-op scans look good too. Time for the recovery.

2 weeks later

"Oh God, finally. I am so bored in this hospital. I thought being a patient wasn't so dull" Meredith said, sitting in the wheelchair, waiting for Derek to sign the papers.

"Everything is alright, quit moaning, we'll go in 15 minutes "Derek, checking some papers and signing them. She looked at the man amused.

"So, you really want to talk about moaning?" he glared at her and then answered

"Oh, Dr.Grey, I now see you're more than fine. Let's go"

"Oh, finally"

"I want to suggest something to you, but I am not sure if you're going to like it…"

"So, suggest. Don't be a pussy" she looked irritated and he burst out laughing.

"Meredith Grey! You forgot that I am the one, who saved your life?" she ignored him.

"Okay, ignore me all you want, but what I wanted to ask you… erm… to live… to live with me in the trailer for some time, i… I know it's not perfect, but this way I could be with you to help you, you know, in case you'll need a fancy, world renowned neurosurgeon and it's quite there, because it is way too noisy at yours...and.. And fresh air, you know.. um… you need fresh air and.." she looked at him in awe

"Derek Shepherd, you're rambling."

"I do not"

She laughed "Oh, you so are. And yes, I'll got there and spend there some nights, but do not get a wrong impression, i won't sleep with you" he made a grimace and said

"I'm offended you felt a need to say that. I don't sleep with my patients"

"A patient, huh? Do you love all of your patients?" she asked confidently, they were now in the parking lot.

"Oh, you gonna play that card, Dr.Grey, are you flirting?" he smirked

"Of course not, you're way too old for me, I am young, hopeful, bright and shiny and you are.. Um.. Dr.Shepherd, you're old and … like...aged." while she was talking, he helped her get in the car and then got there himself and started the car. "Really, you can disagree all you want, but it's true. So, I won't sleep with you, because you're old" she was amused.

"Oh, shut up" he tried to look serious, but deep down he was so happy and entertained. They are going to his trailer, the next week will be pure fun.

At his trailer

"So, you're going to sleep on the bed, I'm gonna sleep on the couch, I'll cook, you just rest. I picked some stuff from your house, so feel like it's your home. I don't have work for this week so I'll try to be with you to make sure you're alright. If you want to have some privacy, just tell. And when you need something, ask me. Erm.. I think that's all "

She smiled at him and looked around the trailer, there were her books on the nightstand and on the coffee table, he really took care of things.

"Oh, Derek, it's perfect, thank you"

"So, do you want to nap or rest?" he asked

"No, I think I just want to change clothes and go for a little walk, I've missed your land " she glanced back at him "And.. can I take one of your hoodies?I think they're way more comfortable than mine" she waited for a reaction, feeling a little uncomfortable.

"Yes, of course Meredith" he went to the dresser and pulled out a grey Bowdoin hoodie. "Here, it's your favourite" she looked at him, surprised.

"You remember?" he nodded in a reply. She smiled warmly, he remembered. She always wore that hoodie when she stayed for a night ,Meredith looked at it and a flood of memories washed over her body, she shivered a little. Then quickly changed into her own sweatpants and his shirt, which still smelled like her. He didn't wear it after her.

"I'm ready, let's go?" she told him. He looked at her with that kind of look, that made her organs twist inside her and made pulse raising. Their look.

"You look nice" after he said that, she burst out laughing.

"Liar!" she laughed and he smiled, it all felt like a freaking dream.

They walked for a long time, until it was getting dark and late and Meredith didn't want to admit that she was tired, but she was. The recovery wasn't easy, but she wanted to keep a brave face for everyone, especially for him. Although she felt better every day there is still a long way to go through.

"Hungry?" he asked when they entered a trailer.

"Oh, yes, very hungry"

"What do you think about pasta?"

"Perfect"

"Good."