Chapter 2: Rin's Intentions

"Kaede-sama! Look!"

As Kaede surveyed the array and variety of gifts put on display, Rin reached inside the empty lacquered box to make sure she retrieved everything.

Last time, I didn't notice the shimeji mushrooms which eventually left mold in the box. Cleaning it was a pain! Yuck!

Her hand eventually landed in the middle of the box. Rin's hand seemed to take on a life of its own as it slowly traced the crescent moon engraving. Rin's eyes followed her hand as it rubbed the engraving in gentle motions.

Sesshomaru-sama, I hope you are doing well.

Rin refused to say she missed him; she was clever enough to get the message when his visits stopped 3 years ago.

— Flashback to ~3 years ago, ~15 year old Rin, one of their last meetings —

Rin was perched on a cedar tree branch overlooking the village, observing the lights as they slowly faded. Sesshomaru had settled on the same branch, his back against the trunk, facing Rin.

Normally, Rin would babble on about her village life; updates on her lessons, medicinal concoctions, trivial village gossip, travel tales of Haruto who had become the guard of the local daimyo, and Akari's recent betrothal to the farmer Koji. Sesshomaru never silenced her; he would occasionally make a snide comment about his brother or some truth related to the inherent weakness of humans.

Her response? "Hai, Sesshomaru-sama." She could not deny his truths. His strength was unparalleled; no human could even come close to matching his power and prestige. Humans are fragile creatures. Whether old age or disease, human life can easily disappear in a blink of an eye.

After an hour or so, Sesshomaru would accompany Rin back to the village. Rin's farewell would be on the sliding scale between a simple wave or a tight hug, neither of which Sesshomaru would react against or react at all, but she didn't mind.

She hugged him not because she didn't believe he wouldn't come back, but because she didn't want to forget his scent. His scent reminded her of the life his Tenseiga had revived her into. A life of bickering, laughter and of course flowers. The scent didn't smell like anything in the village, she figured some elements must be native to his Western Lands. So she'd inhale and tried her best to hold her breath before exhaling and letting go.

And so, that was their routine for over 8 years. It was how Rin fit into Sesshomaru's life and vice versa.

The grand adventures of the past with Jaken and A-Un alongside them had faded into memories. In the past, Sesshomaru would've brought Jaken and A-Un on occasional visits. While the reunions were joyous, they were also brief. Rin could not even recall the last time Jaken and A-Un came with Sesshomaru.

From one of Jaken's comments on his visits, before being thwacked on the head by his lord, Sesshomaru was nearly done quelling the unrest in the West. After Naraku's defeat, Sesshomaru returned to the Western Lands to affirm his title. With Rin still young, Sesshomaru had left her in the care of Kaede-sama. She accepted his decision back then, but now…

Would Rin forever be young and fragile to Sesshomaru? Did he expect her to live the remainder of her life in the village? Would these evening visits be their routine forever?

Those questions initially dwelled in the corners of her mind and often stayed there. But with her childhood friends moving on to new beginnings and lives, those questions began to unravel around her. What was next for her? What was next for him? Them?

His visits had grown infrequent. While Rin has never made comment on his visits, she could not escape the nagging question that had settled on the tip of her tongue.

"When can I join you?"

She turned her eyes from the village to look at Sesshomaru; she didn't need to crane her neck up to look at him. A slight head tilt was enough.

Their eyes lingered on each other.

Sesshomaru's silence goaded her.

"I will have my coming-of-age ceremony in a handful of lunar cycles. I want to join you."

"You are not ready."

"Ready for what? How am I supposed to prepare myself with Kaede and this mostly-human village? You won't let me join Inuyasha and Miroku on their local youkai extermination tasks. The last time I tried to join them, you nearly cut off Inuyasha's balls for kami's sake. Inuyasha still eyes me suspiciously every time I go over to his and Kagome's place."

The corner of Sesshomaru's mouth lifted slightly.

"After Kaede-sama passes, are you going to drop me off at another human village for several decades?"

"No."

Rin bit her lip. I need more Sesshomaru. I need to know that we are on the same path.

"What do I need to do to be ready?"k

Rin nimbly got onto her feet on the sturdy branch and settled herself in front of Sesshomaru, a palm's distance separating their two bodies.

Again, she tilted her head up for their eyes to make contact.

"You think humans are feeble and weak; I don't have miko powers like Kagome or Kaede-sama. I don't have the skills like the demon slayers, Sango and Kohaku. Nor do I have powers like Inuyasha and Shippo. At best, I will become a decent herbalist. At worst, I am also feeble and weak."

No response.

The doubts and questions had bubbled up and out but she wasn't satisfied. Piled underneath, there was still something left unsaid.

She had always called his name with the utmost respect, Sesshomaru-sama, but at this moment, her heart knew it didn't belong.

Rin took a breath.

"Sesshomaru, whether I am at my best or worst, my place is by your side."

With that, she lifted her hand and outstretched it to Sesshomaru's temple. Her hand naturally settled on his forehead as her thumb began delicate, sweeping motions over his crescent moon.

The familiarity of the movement recalled Rin to a dream she once had. Sesshomaru had woken her up from her nightmare of being attacked by wolves, his hand cupping her face, his eyes concerned. In turn, she reached back out, delicately tracing his crescent moon as she drifted back to sleep.

Like a waltz, her thumb glided up, tracing the curvature of the crescent. Once it hit a point, it transitioned to follow the inner part of the crescent. Again, her thumb repeated similar gestures as it gradually fell into this dance, gliding around his crescent.

Unbeknownst to Rin, who noticed that Sesshomaru's body stilled, his mokomoko failed him first. Before, it had settled alongside the branch. As Rin's thumb began its dance on his forehead, his mokomoko slid off the branch and began to swing like a pendulum.

And then, Rin heard it. It was very faint but Rin would swear on her ancestral lands that she heard it.

Did he…did he just growl? Purr? Growlpurr?

Just as soon as Rin's thought formed, her hand was no longer by his forehead but by her side.

"That is enough. Humans are too weak; you will never be ready."

Ouch. There went that moment.

After that incident, Rin didn't know what to make of it. At first, she didn't dare talk to Kaede-sama or Kagome about their rendevous. When Sesshomaru came to visit again, she kept the conversation casual. She didn't want to risk straining her relationship with Sesshomaru even more.

At least I thought that was the right thing to do until he stopped showing up at all.

When Kaede-sama first asked if she knew anything, Rin played the "dead miko card" and said Sesshomaru probably was caught up in land disputes.

When she finally felt comfortable confiding in Akari, Rin made Akari swear to not even tell her betrothed Koji. Nakatomi was sometimes a little too trusting of people. Koji's family had history of failed crops due to youkai. Even with the years of Inuyasha and their crew's protection in the village, youkai reputation precedes them still.

After listening to Rin's account, Akari re-affirmed her doubts.

"Rin, do you not see what's going on? He is playing with you. I know Inuyasha and Shippo are good youkai, but I don't think Sesshomaru is one of them. What do you expect from him? To treat you with respect?

The way I see it, you're nothing more than a doll or a pet for him to play dress up. Why hasn't he brought you to his western lands? Shown you his people? It is cause he doesn't see you as his equal. When it is convenient for him, he'll visit you. What about when you want to see him? Are you going to waste your youth waiting for him? You cannot keep giving me the same excuses for him anymore. We're not getting any younger, Rin.

You're better off moving on from him."

— End of Flashback —

For a hot cycle, Rin believed in Akari's words. Rin made plans to change - settle in a neighboring village as the herbalist, find a nice young man and settle down.

Rin was prepared to embark on a new journey until she received the lacquered box a month before her coming of age ceremony. When she saw the crescent moon engraved inside the box, Rin knew she was a helpless cause. She forfeited her plans and remained in the village.

Unlike past gifts, which only had necessities like clothing, there were also herbs and scrolls. The scrolls were a variety of literature ranging from herbal mixes that were exclusive to the west, historical accounts that happened even before Kaede-sama's time and even additional combat techniques.

Needless to say, Akari was displeased.

"He's just trying to keep you in this village. Stop you from expanding your wings and growing up. He is dictating your life in his terms."

But Rin didn't agree. He never told her to leave or stay. She always had a choice. Rin figured that Sesshomaru was giving her opportunity to expand her knowledge and then decide, stay or go. 3 years ago, she was too young to understand. With the knowledge of the scrolls, she learned that she wouldn't have survived Sesshomaru's lands, even by his side.

She wasn't wrong about being by his side; it was where she felt she belonged. But whether he was ready for that, she wasn't sure.

How she was going to stay by his side, she wasn't sure either.

"That is enough. Humans are too weak; you will never be ready."

He wasn't wrong about humans being weak, but she also felt that he wasn't telling the entire truth. Sesshomaru was a daiyoukai of few words and sometimes, Rin had to take a chance on the meaning behind his words. It still pained her to hear them, but why would he then play this new dance with her on this box?

So that never stopped her from her waltz; placing a token of thanks, usually a floral of sorts, in the lacquered box.

It had started as a superficial offering of sorts. She had placed a branch of budding cherry blossoms in the box only to have it disappear in the following days. If it was a stray animal or random villager, she was never able to capture the culprit. In the beginning, she had spent nights next to the wooden box, hopeful to get a glimpse of whoever, whatever was responsible for the disappearing offering. Those nights only ended with her slacking in the gardens, working on deprived sleep and being chided by Kaede-sama.

Could the box have some sort of spiritual power to teleport objects? Nope, Kaede-sama used her spiritual powers to feel the box. It was a normal, albeit beautiful, lacquered box.

Could there have been some inquisitive youkai or traveling monks passing by? Other than dog, Shippo did not detect any suspicious scents.

Did she think it was Sesshomaru? Abso-freaking-lutely. (One of many period phrases that Rin had picked up from Kagome over time.)

So she continued this exchange. Dandelions, camellia, violets and cherry blossoms in spring and summer. Lavender, chrysanthemum and hydrangea in the fall and winter. Whatever was in season would be placed in their space. As Rin honed her medicinal skills, she also began to leave homemade tea leaves. She frequently placed chrysanthemum tea leaves as it was known to treat high blood pressure. To help him deal with the stresses placed on by Jaken and others.

And for 3 years, she was content with this new dance.

Now? She wanted more.