Not that the riling-up of the aurors was exactly my fault. I mean I should have known better than to use Gilgamesh out in the open like this, he was not exactly the most amicable guy around. How is this not my fault? You guys are probably asking, since I had just henged into him, not become him.
Well, through my research, I had discovered an interesting phenomenon that was not stated in either fate stay night or harry potter. I call it resonance. As in when two similar things are perceived, they tend to resonate, where the stronger thing would make the weaker take on characteristics of itself. So when I took on the form I imagined to be Gilgamesh of Uruk, my mental picture resonated with the ACTUAL king Gil, so that I began taking on some of his more… unruly characteristics. Not too strongly, mind you, since, in this universe, Gilgamesh was not as strong as his fate counterpart, so that I could mostly suppress these instincts.
And there is more proof for this idea of resonance, and this is kind of like the Fate idea of noble phantasms. The Elder Wand is in itself, not truly the elder wand given by Death, and nor are the other two hallows. How do I know this? Well, let's just say that the Gryffindorks aren't the best at hiding/safeguarding their possessions. Anyway, it became apparent that the hallows simply drew from the idea of the hallows, so the idea of the hallows resonated with the physical versions so that they became very similar. Also, the twin-bond is another example if the twins are similar enough, the older will slowly override the other, kind of like Archer and Shirou.
But this also gave my weapons a fair bit of extra power. The catch is that they had to be quite similar to their original counterparts, which for some reason, seemed to be their Fate equivalents. So my Excalibur, which I had made in the fourth year, could actually do a weak version of the excaliblast, although its damage was around C rank and its holy nature was downgraded a fair deal. I had to restrain the urge to start firing around excaliblasts around the school very strongly.
In the end, however, my proudest achievements were that in the civilian and scientific fronts, so that I garner eternal recognition, but let us not discuss these on the eve of the battle.
"Oh hey Mr Auror, I'm a big fan!" Chuckling, I turned into a fan. It was a mystic code by the way, that made the user look dignified and classy. Boy, let me tell you, it has come in real handy these days, with the purebloods gunning for muggle born heads.
No doubt they were going crazy questioning where I went, whether I was a death eater spy and whats not.
I turned back into human form. And a lot of ladies turned red (and some of the men too, now that I think about it. They gained a real menacing attitude). Yes, it must be because of my handsomeness. In all my time with magic, I never really needed to invent a handsomeness increasing relic. I was blessed, you know, with a natural charm and handsomeness unmatched by anyone, and my size is downright enormous.
But anyway, once everybody recovered, I, like the generous and righteous man I am, gave every a set of armour, with powerful defensive properties, I think it was an enchanted set of Mordred's own. Kind of fitting right? It also had the special effect of making men's ***** smaller, to lessen the competition (just kidding, how can a benevolent and righteous man like me do such a thing?). Needless to say, everyone was impressed after they saw me shoot a green coloured stupefy at it, causing the spell to bounce off.
"How about this, leave everything to me, I'll show you how a real wizard fights!" I chuckled, and proceeded to send the others to the safety of the castle. I could dimly see Potter shouting something, telling me to open the gates, but did I care?
Essentially, I borrowed Zhuge Liang's stone sentinel maze, using magic instead of the Tian DI Yuan Qi of the east. It worked fine, I tell you, especially since I had powered it up using the high natural mana from Merlin's Garden of Avalon. Yes, any death eaters coming this way were going to be screwed, quite literally in fact, since I conjured up some flying *******.
But eventually I got tired of setting traps, and just returned, chilling before the battle.
And once it started, boy I tell you it was glorious.
Almost instantly, the main forces of the death eaters came into the maze, despite having flying snake intangible magics, and proceeded to fall into a series of illusions. I assure you, when they came out, they weren't going to be doing anything anytime soon. In fact, I feel like they might not be able to defecate at all after their time in the maze.
Sadly however, all I got was cannon fodder.
When the acromantulas came from the forest, I, powering through with the elder wand, got past their C rank magic resistance and vanished their entire bodies, except for their silk, which I proceeded to transfigure into a giant mattress, pillows and blankets. It is getting rather chilly out here.
Then, some assholes came to blow a hole in my blankets! It was Bellatrix-I-Used-To-Be-Hot. An excaliblast later and she died. GG. Maybe I could give her a youth or healing potion, but I didn't want to. First, she's f******* insane, and she probably got loads of STDs from all sorts of people. I do have standards you know, and I can afford it too, being so handsome. In fact, I'm a lot more scared about having to repress my awesomeness to not accidentally cuckold someone, not that that ever happened of course, my self control is the stuff of legends.
But yeah, the rest of the battle proceeded in this manner, until Voldemort, the big baddy came.
He was as ugly as the movies depicted and I felt no respect for him whatsoever. Sure, you can do all sorts of shit, but why exactly did you ruin your own good looks? Look where that got you, needing to cuckold your men. And his pp seems non-existant too.
Of course WITH THE POWER OF FRIENDSHIP–No, I just used TNT. I found it really dumb that he had nagini next to him, so easy to catch in the blast radius.
So there's that! A guide on how to save hogwarts, leaving it relatively unscathed (except for the holes due to the TNT), and looking cool in the future.
Needless to say, I became hugely popular after this, with lots of ladies chasing me. The number only tripled after I created a VRMMORPG, using human brains as computers (like the matrix) and proceeded to chuck everyone inside. Yay, everyone is happy!