AN: For anyone who hasn't figured it out/noticed, this story is the first in a series. I'm working on the next one now, but I'm not sure if it'll be ready by the time I post this story's last chapter. I won't keep you guys waiting too long for it, though.

I wish I could say that was the last time,

I said that last time, it became a pastime

– "Say No to This", Hamilton on Broadway

As she waited outside the Council chambers, Eldra pushed down the fresh memory of Kassandra clinging to her sleeve, desperately pleading for her not to go. And while she knew she would see her daughter again, she couldn't help but think of it as a premonition of what was to come.

Because she had a feeling that in order to keep Kassandra in the Temple, she would have to either walk away from the Jedi, or if she was allowed to stay, cut all contact with her daughter. The rules of the Order were clear: they weren't allowed to form attachments, be they romantic or familial. No exceptions. And Eldra doubted her special circumstances would grant her one.

But that was, honestly, the best-case scenario. It was a better option than Kassandra not being accepted at all, which would lead to them both becoming easy pickings for the Sith Lord who still lived.

It was one of the reasons why she was considering lying to the Council in her report. If she made herself out to be the victim with no choice in the matter, then there was a chance that the Council would take pity on her and accept Kassandra for training in response. And yet, she couldn't bring herself to lie; to ignore the few good qualities Maul had and paint him as an irredeemable villain like his master. Even after all of the terrible things he'd done, she was unwilling to throw him to the wolves.

She remembered what Adi Gallia had told her, before entering the chambers.

Twelve pairs of eyes watched her walk into the centre of the room, and Eldra felt every single one of them. The only gaze she could meet was Adi's, and after a moment, Yoda's. She found it inconceivable for the Grand Master of the Order to be judgemental of anyone.

"Greetings, Masters," she said.

"Padawan Kaitis," Master Windu began, "you have been summoned here to give a full report of your experiences as the Sith's captive. You are to treat this meeting as a standard mission report, so we request that you leave nothing out."

"We understand that this may be hard for you to discuss," said Adi. "And be assured that what you tell us will be judged impartially. Everyone in this room has done things we are not proud of, whether it be for our own survival or for the good of the Republic."

The Jedi Master's words brought Eldra some reassurance. But no matter what the other masters had done, none of them had dealt with a Sith Lord before. She had laid with the Jedi's greatest enemy, and willingly. She would be a fool to think they would let that slide so easily.

Ki-Adi-Mundi spoke next. "We do not mean to pressure you, Eldra, but whatever you can tell us about the Sith is important in our investigations into their sudden return. The apartment was raided by law enforcement after you and your daughter were liberated, but they could find no records or any other evidence that would lead us to the remaining Sith Lord's identity."

"I will tell you what I can," said Eldra.

"Begin, you may," said Yoda, nodding his head.

Eldra closed her eyes and took in a deep breath. There was a lot to unload, and she needed to keep her emotions under control in the face of the High Council. After a moment's pause, she began.

First, she told them about the transport crash and her subsequent capture by Xev Xrexus. Barring the death of her master, that whole incident was by far the easiest part of the story to discuss. Things back then had been simple; straightforward. It almost felt like a lifetime ago, when in reality it had only been five years.

"The Jedi we sent to investigate your disappearance discovered the wreckage of the transport vessel," Plo Koon told her. "The body of Master Ori was brought back to the Temple, where she received a proper funeral."

"May the Force be with her," said Eldra, while in her mind she made a note to visit her master's coffin chamber when the meeting was over.

With the easy part over, she told the Council about her first encounter with Maul, which had led to her capture. She told them what her purpose had been, how there had been no escape, how she'd lived every day in fear that it would be her last. But she also told them about the good parts; where Maul had shown his more honourable side, how he kept her fed and never hurt her like she thought he would. She was honest in saying that while she was being held against her will, things could have been a lot worse, and this mantra had kept her alive.

Because at the end of the day, Maul had treated her like she was someone of worth, even if it was merely a worthy opponent. Which was far better treatment than what she would have received from most of the participants at the auction.

When she mentioned her plan to try and reason and sympathise with him – with the goal that he would eventually let her go – this gained a few surprised glances, which she understood. The thought that any Sith could be reasoned with went against everything they'd learned about their enemy and the dark side in general.

"How could such a thing be possible?" Depa Billaba asked, not to her specifically though. She sounded more curious than anything. "Once the dark side consumes you, there is no turning back."

"And you are right," Eldra told her. Because while Maul had cared, he had ultimately chosen the dark side over her and their child, even if he hadn't admitted to it. "But that doesn't mean there isn't still some good left in you, once you turn. I used to think that the Sith were nothing more than irredeemable monsters. Maul's master certainly lived up to that image. But Maul himself… He was complicated. I suppose in a way, he was like us, just on the other end of the spectrum. Most people think the Jedi are empty paragons of morality, when in reality we're all people, too. We have senses of humour, we have good days and bad days, we make mistakes sometimes. Maul was like that; deeply devoted to the Sith, but that wasn't all he was. He was also conflicted, like he wanted to question what he was being taught but was too afraid of standing up to his master. He was driven by emotion, but not just negative emotions like anger and hate. He was driven by positive emotions, too. And I soon discovered that deep down, he was just a lonely boy desperate to latch onto the first thing to show him any form of kindness – which ended up being me."

This led to her explaining his backstory; how he'd had the dark side forced upon him instead of choosing it himself, how his master had tortured him from childhood and twisted his mind into believing that the way of the Sith was the only way. He was basically a captive just like her, only he'd been raised to believe that the Sith were his destiny, and he was meant to be there. And this led to her explaining how, when she'd confronted him about this, Maul had lashed out and touched her mind, while she'd touched his, accidentally creating a Force bond.

This caught the attention of several of the masters. Force bonds were rare, and usually never ended well. But apart from a few glances, they didn't otherwise react, which gave Eldra the courage to continue. She knew what happened next would be the hardest part of the story to tell. But then Mace Windu had asked her to be honest, and she supposed that applied to her nerves and how she thought they would react.

So, with her head lowered slightly, Eldra continued. Explained the tentative friendship that formed between them, explained how she had let the bond grow in order to survive. She tried to make herself sound like a droid, speaking with no emotion, but the closer she got to the more awkward parts of her story, the more it showed. She stuttered and struggled to hide her distress. It was hard to look any of the masters in the eye, out of fear of the judgement she would see, so instead she kept her gaze averted to the floor.

As she explained how things had developed – the first time they kissed, and then taking it further some weeks later – she found herself making all sorts of excuses. Saying she let it get so far in order to survive, saying it was because she liked how he had initiated it not out of lust but because he liked the sort of person she was on the inside… And she also mentioned the dream; how it had shown her the two of them together, which she had interpreted as the Force giving her permission to do the unthinkable. In order to back it up, she explained how the same dream had given her a vision of Qui-Gon dying, impaled by a red lightsaber.

Recalling what else she'd seen, she turned to Adi and said, "I saw you die, too, Master Gallia. You were in a hallway on a ship, being shot at, but I couldn't see who was shooting."

"I shall keep that in mind," said Adi. And Eldra knew she would; if the premonition about Qui-Gon had come true, then there was a good chance the dream could be right about her. Hopefully she would save one friend's master where she couldn't save the other's. "You may continue."

And continue she did, almost babbling as she tried to talk herself out of the situation she'd found herself in. Because the whole thing was just awkward, and she wanted it over and done with as quickly as possible.

She mentioned how she had constantly been assuring herself she didn't have Tyrena Syndrome; told them that she always knew Maul and his master were a threat, never tried to rationalise his actions in a positive light, and swore on her life she would have tried to escape the first chance she got. Which she had. But not having a supposed mental disorder almost made it worse, because it meant she had done all of this with Maul while in a rational state of mind.

But she kept going. Explained how the Sith master had been the one to tell her she was pregnant, how he'd wanted the child so he could train her as an assassin, explained how Maul refused to let her leave because he wanted her with him and wanted to be a Sith, thinking he could have both…

The rest of the story was a blur. Because while she was talking, Eldra was getting the chance to truly reflect on what had happened. She had been so focussed on just surviving and raising her daughter that she'd never had the time to really think about her situation.

And there was only one word she could use to sum it all up: horrible.

Even when she considered the good parts, the entire ordeal overall was messed up, and she was lucky to have not only escaped with her life, but with her daughter's life, too. And though she made a point to tell the Council about Maul's better qualities (it was the truth, after all), even going as far as to admit that she probably wouldn't have survived without him (by which she meant that if the apprentice had been someone just as vile as the Sith master, she probably would have killed herself after the first week), looking back on the whole situation gave her a better perspective of it.

Perhaps Maul had loved her in his own way, but it was the obsessive, unhealthy kind of love. The kind that forced a person to stay even if staying would kill them. And even then, he hadn't loved her or their daughter enough in order to give up his life as a Sith.

And it hurt. It hurt that she hadn't been enough for him; hurt that their daughter hadn't been enough. She felt her anger build at this, but she quickly pushed it down again. That was the last thing she needed, getting angry in front of the Council – and over a Sith Lord she may or may not have feelings for, at that.

She knew that no matter what happened – whether or not Kassandra would be trained, whether or not she would be allowed to stay in the Temple – she needed to accept that despite what he'd made her feel, what had happened with Maul had been a terrible ordeal. The only way forward was to put it behind her and move on with her life.

Eldra summed up the rest of her pregnancy and Kassandra's early life as quickly and as best she could. But when she reached the part regarding Lorn Pavan, she couldn't help but pause. Because she needed answers about the unfairness of his situation.

"I'm sorry, Masters," she said, "and excuse my language, but the seeker you sent to his family screwed up spectacularly. They didn't tell Lorn anything about what would happen should he allow his son to be trained – namely, they didn't tell him he would be fired from his job."

"Lorn Pavan had worked in the Temple for years," said Master Windu. "He should have known about our rule regarding emotional attachments."

"But you still should have asked him if he was aware," said Eldra. "And even if he was, he might have just assumed his son would be kept away from where he was working. No one outright told him 'Oh, by the way, if you let us train your son, we'll have to fire you from your job'. The whole thing stinks of a political set-up, which isn't what the Jedi Order stands for. We're not the Senate. It's like the seeker knew Lorn would say no if he had all the facts, so just told him what he wanted to hear so he'd hand over his son, and then threw back the 'no returns, no refunds' policy when he realised he'd been screwed over. Lorn lost his son, lost his job and then lost his wife in one blow. His whole life was destroyed because of the Order, and he got so desperate that he was willing to get between a dangerous Sith Lord and his child just because there may have been a slight chance he'd get his son back. Seriously, if this is how the Jedi Order are collecting their members, by practically kidnapping children under false pretences, then we're no better than the Sith."

The room was silent, and Eldra found she'd gained the courage to meet the gazes of several of the masters. She noticed that Adi, Depa Billaba and Plo Koon had the decency to look shocked and regretful of what had transpired. Both Master Yoda and Master Yaddle had lowered their heads, like they were ashamed of the behaviour of one of their seekers. The remaining masters showed no emotion whatsoever, but that wasn't surprising. The members of the High Council weren't exactly known for being easy to read.

With that out of the way, Eldra finished her story and awaited a response.

Master Windu spoke first. "What of the Sith master? Is there any way you could identify him? Or did you notice any clues that could lead us to his identity?"

"No." Eldra shook her head. "He only visited me twice, and always wore a hood to conceal his identity. And Maul hardly spoke of him out of fear. All I know is that he's a Human male."

"Cunning, this Sith Lord is," said Yoda. He stroked his chin, deep in thought. "But a matter for another time, that is. Trained as a Jedi, you wish your daughter to be."

Eldra nodded. "Yes. I know what I'm asking of you all, but I feel this is the right place for her."

"There is the matter of attachment," said Master Windu. "Having your daughter so close could compromise the both of you."

"Not to mention, who her father was poses another problem," Ki-Adi-Mundi added. "There could be darkness within her."

"But if there's one thing I've learnt from all this, is that evil isn't born, it's taught. Maul's darkness came from how he was raised," Eldra argued. "The remaining Sith Lord knows about her existence, and he will be searching for a new apprentice. If you don't accept her, then there's a good chance he'll take her. Will you be willing to condemn her to that life, out of a fear that may not even happen? If you're so concerned about us being under the same roof, then I'm willing to give up my place in the Jedi Order if it means you'll train her. Or if I can stay as well, then… then I'm fully prepared to break all contact with her."

Adi locked their gazes. "Are you certain that's what you wish to do? We're not stopping you from leaving. You can raise her yourself; be part of her life."

Eldra sighed. "This isn't about what I want. It's about protecting her."

The Masters exchanged glances.

Yoda looked thoughtful. "Assess your daughter, we must. Send her to us, if you please. Then, discuss the matter, we will."

It was the best answer she was going to receive, at this moment in time. Eldra bowed and left the chambers.

She didn't start shaking until she was halfway to the Room of a Thousand Fountains.