Chapter 2: Upside Down

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(Thanks a million to the Kenpachi lovers who have gotten this story off to a roaring start! Sorry for the long wait, but I promise lots of updates all month long! Gratz to Suchan and Twelve (Okay, here's more for you, and I promise more is on the way! :) So happy you like the story!), Haikha (This one is promising to be more fun than a barrel of monkeys and more vicious too!), Bananafishh (So glad that tickled your funny bone!), khonlay (Aww, thanks so much! You're a sweetie!), Red Cr0w (Aww, you're spoiling me! Sorry about the long wait for this, but it's sure to have you smiling.), kyuumihaira (Mine too! I started writing it for Kenny's birthday month and had to wonder, why did I wait so freaking long? This is FUN!), PlayMyPoisonousGame (Then, more you shall have!), Purple Light Snow (Action delivered below! Watch for splashes of blood!), phAnt0mgh0st7018 (Oh yes...hotness is coming soon! Just a little buildup first!), LeAwesomeOne IX (Lol, can't fool you!), Aquarius Seth (You are so very welcome!), Nyma (Kenpachi and Byakuya are funny on their own, but throw in Kurotsuchi and it hurts to laugh so much!), Lily McKenzie -AND- Cody Zik (So glad you like the story!), Hime (I can't believe Kubo did such a great job promoting these two as a pairing, perhaps without meaning to be so effective! Bravo, Kubo! Bravissimo!), and SCJ0263 (You think you're grinning? Wait until Kenpachi gets to work!) Enjoy the new chapter! Love, Spunky)

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Squad 12 captain's log entry 212015: Finally! Something to do that is worthy of my attention. I have commenced the first phase of my newest experiment on creating and building the personal chemistry between people with absolutely none! My two subjects for the experiment are polar opposites, and two men who can't seem to share a room without glares, ugly threats and promises of bloodshed. We have the lovely, but terribly arrogant and snobbish Captain Kuchiki and the barbaric and bloodthirsty Captain Zaraki. Their antics have earned them time in the precipice world, which has created the perfect opportunity for me to study them up close in a setting that will either cause them to bond or to perhaps, more interestingly, to slaughter each other.

In phase one of the experiment, the two subjects entered the precipice world and were shortly after, pursued by the cleaner. Surprisingly, although he could have merely saved himself, our arrogant Captain Kuchiki actually saved his beastly comrade by punching a hole into the wall and entering a restricted zone. After filing a reprimand and requesting that his punishment for destructive mischief be lengthened, I gave the matter some thought and have concluded that it was only a sense of duty to a comrade that caused Captain Kuchiki to act that way. He may be above the rest of us, but he does seem to function according to basic rules of chivalry. Captain Zaraki, on the other hand, is no such thing as chivalrous, I think. I will be testing that in phase 2.

Phase 2 of the experiment will test Captain Zaraki's sense of camaraderie and fellowship. When offered a choice between killing something and saving a comrade, what will he choose? For this experiment, I fogged the two and allowed two of the wicked denizens of that pocket dimension to capture Captain Kuchiki. I had to induce a bit of pain and make some distraction so the little devils didn't actually kill Captain Kuchiki right away. Captain Zaraki provided a wonderful distraction when I let him wake to find Captain Kuchiki gone and signs of a struggle. Despite the barbarian's extreme lack of intelligence and poor sense of direction, he managed to follow the extremely careless trail the abductors left and is approaching the encampment now. I don't know whether to hope he arrives before or after the little devils roast and eat Captain Kuchiki. Ah, decisions, decisions!

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"Ugh!" Byakuya groaned discontentedly, cracking his eyes open and reeling for a moment as he ingested the extreme wrongness and precariousness of his situation.

His body, he found, was bound and suspended upside down from a tall oak tree, poised over what looked to be hard, unforgiving ground.

"That stupid fool!" he hissed furiously, "I knew he would fall asleep! And I'll bet it was that blasted snoring of his that led whoever did this to me right to us. Damn him!"

He was careful to turn his head very slowly, this way and that, to survey his surroundings. Still before sunrise, it was impossible to see very far, and it appeared that whomever or whatever his captor, the beast or beasts had abandoned him, probably banking on his inability to affect his situation to keep the shinigami from escaping his predicament.

"But this is easily dealt with," the noble breathed softly, focusing briefly to let his power flow through him.

He caught his breath a moment later at realizing that nothing at all had happened. Stunned, he tried again and was met with the same disturbing result.

Impossible. But not insurmountable.

He looked around again to make sure that he was not being watched and extended his senses.

Strange. I understand that they have sealed my greater powers, but that shouldn't affect my innate ability to sense the reiatsu of my captors. What is going on?

But whatever the case, the presence of a stack of wood and several jagged, rusty knives on the ground beneath where he hung left little doubt about what his captors were planning to do with him.

Well, able to sense them or not, I cannot simply hang here and wait to become their food.

Looking around, he found a few strong looking branches hanging near him and carefully took hold of them. Gripping tightly, he was able to somewhat right himself and gradually worked his way to the knot that held him at the ankles. Although having to contort his body painfully, he worked slowly at the knot, pausing now and again to survey the brightening land around him. He heard voices and scuffling footsteps nearby and hastened his efforts, but was still not yet freed when his captors returned.

The two that stumbled back into the clearing looked vaguely like bears, but with ragged, patched fur, even more ragged and particularly smelly animal skin clothing and what looked to be wickedly sharp, retractable claws that emerged immediately upon seeing that their captive was attempting an escape. They charged immediately towards him, hissing and squealing loudly, then bounding onto the tree and using their claws to facilitate their climbing.

"Oh, this is not good!" Byakuya noted unhappily, drawing back and thrusting a foot at the one who reached him first.

The attack struck the attacking beast squarely in the face, stunning him enough to make him fall from the tree. He crashed down to the ground and loosed a howl sure to bring the return of any and all of the others like it.

Up in the tree, the second beast saw the downfall of his comrade and advanced more cautiously, drawing his lips back and revealing teeth as razor sharp as his claws.

Ugh, if his claws and teeth don't make an end of me, I think his horrid breath and body odor will. He is as nasty and pungent as that bastard, Kenpachi.

I am going to kill him for wandering off without waking me!

But I had best make sure I don't die first.

He turned his attention back to the snarling, hissing and, unfortunately, spitting beast that crouched near him, clinging tightly to the branch he was tied to and approaching him more carefully than his ill-fated comrade had. Byakuya dodged one slash of the creature's claws, but made a sound of pain as the beast quickly altered his aim and caught the evading captain with a second slash. Blood leaked from the substantial wound, running down the injured captain's arm and falling in droplets.

Beneath the two, the beast that had fallen blinked as a drop of blood nearly landed in his eye. He paused, sniffing and catching the scent of the blood, then removed the droplet with a padded finger and tasted it. He emitted a purr of delight and danced around, making an odd, squeaking and clicking noise, urging the one still in the tree to provide more of the unexpected treat. A few more drops fell and the beast on the ground howled impatiently, yapping at its comrade to hurry and finish their prey.

Up in the tree, the creature lowered its head and fixed its narrowed eyes on Byakuya's, watching him closely as it moved out onto the branch that held the shinigami captain. Byakuya swallowed hard, gauging his weight and that of the approaching beast and concluding that he was clearly about to die, either from having his entrails cut out or by falling to the ground, where he would probably sustain moderate to serious injuries before being eaten by the creature under the tree.

His estimate of doom became even gloomier as several more of the creatures burst out of the brush, squeaking and clicking like the beast under the tree. They joined their ugly comrade in dancing about and snapping their jaws in anticipation as the creature in the tree growled more fiercely and reached out to slash at Byakuya again. Luck was with the cornered captain and although the beast scored another solid slash, it lost its balance and fell onto its riled comrades. To Byakuya's surprise and morbid fascination, the ones beneath immediately ripped the creature apart and ate him instead.

Kami! They are complete savages. I wonder if it even registered it was their own comrade and not me.

He stared as the ones below licked the blood from their fingers, and then breathlessly shifted to make himself less visible. The ploy seemed to work, which surprised and pleased the trapped captain to no end. He began to work at the rope that still bound one of his two feet, while keeping an eye on the enemies that moved about below him, smacking their lips and scuffling with each other as they pondered what to do next.

They really are just about as stupid as that brute, Kenpachi...

But stupid or not, the beasts didn't miss the moment when a few more drops of blood dripped off Byakuya's extended arm and splashed onto a number of them.

Damn! Byakuya thought, working faster at the stubborn knot as two more of the scraggly beasts began climbing the tree.

He couldn't spare the attention to note why, all of a sudden, the ones beneath the tree suddenly quieted for a moment. It was a race against time as the two enemies quickly scaled the tree trunk and raced towards Byakuya. He just managed to pull free of his bindings as the two reached the branch that held him and dashed towards him. They realized a moment too late that they should, perhaps, have had one approach, due to the limits of what the branch could hold. The limb gave way with an audible snap and the two beasts screeched and fell.

Byakuya, for his part, managed to grab several branches, distributing his weight so that he hung precariously, only scant inches out of the reach of the creatures on the ground. Luckily for him, whatever had made them pause now had their full attention. Even the two that had fallen from the tree, squealed and joined their comrades as the group encountered the tall, grinning form of Kenpachi Zaraki.

"All right, you little shits, out of the way! Yo, Kuchiki, are you going to hang around there all day or get your ass down outta that tree and do your job!"

"What's wrong?" Byakuya asked haughtily, "You can't fight them on your own?"

"These guys aren't worth my time. You do it!"

"They've sealed away my powers," the noble informed his scowling comrade.

"So what?" Zaraki yelled, swinging a foot and sending one of the little beasts flying, "Just kick their asses and let's go! I'm bored."

"You stupid...!"

Byakuya's breath left him as one of their scraggly enemies raced up the tree and dashed out onto one of the branches holding the noble. Several of the branches snapped at once, and Byakuya felt himself beginning to fall. Bereft of his flash step and still without his powers in addition to not having time to recover himself, the noble crashed into the unforgiving ground and lost consciousness for a moment. He woke almost immediately, just in time to hear Kenpachi laugh at him and spit out something insulting. Then, a furry, but wickedly snarling face approached his, and through the haze before his eyes, Byakuya numbly realized he was about to die...again.

This can't be happening. How can things have gone this wrong? My powers won't work, not even my innate abilities and now I cannot even move!

Ken...pachi!

He stared into the deadly eyes of the one about to kill him, and was still staring as the tip of a sword suddenly emerged from the beast's chest and Zaraki's tall form appeared behind him.

"Damn it!" Kenpachi swore, flicking his weapon aside and watching the dead creature slide off the end as the captain at his feet groaned and lost consciousness again, "I can't believe I bloodied my sword on something so unworthy. You're gonna pay for making me do that, Kuchiki. Now, get up!"

He waited for a moment, glaring down at the unconscious and bloodied Captain Kuchiki, then he sighed resignedly.

"Fuck! You're a disgrace. I oughta leave your ass here and let something eat you, you little priss!"

But despite his off-handed words, the hands that slid under Byakuya's collapsed body were gentle as they lifted him, and the eleventh division captain only carried him to the nearest source of water so that he could wash his comrades oozing wounds.

"You should never have gotten so used to using that fancy shit," Kenpachi complained as he undressed Byakuya and carried him into the water, "You'd have been better off not wasting your time trying to get that stuff to work and beating the hell out of them with your leg that wasn't tied to the tree and the hand that wasn't hanging on. What's wrong? You don't have natural survival instincts? Or were you waiting for your fucking servants to come along and fight'em for you?"

"Sh-shut up!" Byakuya panted, spitting out a mouthful of water, "And stop trying to drown me, you f-fool!"

"Hey," Zaraki said, grinning widely, "You're still alive. Great."

He let go of the noble and watched in amusement as Byakuya's naked body sank beneath the surface of the creek and disappeared for a moment, before emerging in an explosion of water that splashed all over his now laughing colleague.

"What? You don't know how to wash your own ass either?" he mocked the furious noble, "Well, I hate to tell you. We don't have any servants out here, so do it yourself. I ain't your nurse or your slave, so don't think I'm doin' it for you. If you're conscious, you fix yourself!"

"Bastard!" Byakuya fumed, "You think I should abandon my powers and use my hands and feet to pummel everything to death, do you? Well, why don't I start with you!"

"Bring it on, princess!" Kenpachi taunted him, "Let's see what you've got! You've gotta be better than those little wimps, even beat up like you are, so let's go!"

Byakuya launched himself at the other man, ignoring the stinging of his wounds and the ache of weariness and blood loss, and landing the first blow before falling into a scathing exchange of punches and kicks. Despite the poor condition of his body, he forced Kenpachi back several feet and landed a sharp blow to the other man's head with a feisty kick. He tensed, preparing to strike again, then staggered back as his injuries began to take their toll.

"Aww, damn," Kenpachi complained, watching as Byakuya's legs quivered beneath him, then gave way. leaving him in a heap at the bigger man's feet, "It was just starting to get good, too."

He sighed resignedly and collected his, once again unconscious, comrade, carrying him back to the water and carefully washing, then binding his wounds.

"Did you even notice you were naked?" he chuckled as he worked, "You don't look half bad without clothes, Kuchiki. You should go without'em more often. Guess that wouldn't go over so well at home, though, ne? Not much good for fighting either."

He finished his work and paused, looking down at Byakuya's naked and bandaged body, then leaning forward to clean the smudges of dirt and blood from his face.

"I'm probably not as thorough as your slaves at home, but I did my best, okay?"

"S-stupid ogre," Byakuya mumbled dizzily, "We d-don't have slaves. Th-they are...attendants."

"Same thing, toots."

"Will you p-please use my name when you speak to me?" the noble groaned.

"Okay, okay, fine, Byakuya," Kenpachi said, smirking.

"Perhaps you should just not speak to me," the injured noble sighed, "Even my name sounds like an insult when you say it."

"Hey, I just healed you and gave your naked ass a bath. You be nice or I'll start kicking it again."

"As though you could..."

"Shut up, will you? You're pissing me off when you can't back it up with a good fight. I'm not gonna kick a guy when he's down, so shut your yap and get some rest, okay?"

"May I at least have my clothes? I don't think I feel safe being naked around you."

"Why? Princess, if I wanted your ass, I could've had it already. You're cute, but I'm not interested in that shit."

Byakuya started to issue a heated reply, then paused and frowned thoughtfully.

"I'm curious," he confessed, looking back at the bigger man as he tossed the noble his clothes, "were you saying that you just weren't interested in me or is it falling in love that you wish to avoid?"

"Why? You looking for a boyfriend? I told you I'm not interested."

"Neither am I," Byakuya replied shortly, "But you didn't answer my question. which was it?"

"Why do you want to know so bad?"

"I don't. I suppose it doesn't matter," Byakuya said, slipping back into his torn and bloodied shihakushou.

He followed quietly as Kenpachi led him into a forested area and picked out a hidden shelter in a cluster of bushes. Kenpachi set his back against a tree. Byakuya started to lay down on the ground a short distance away, but was stopped by the sound of his comrade's voice.

"Don't be so standoffish," he chuckled, "After all, you did say you wanted to date me."

"You're out of your mind! I did not!"

"I was kidding. You and I should sleep close together. It's cold."

"You smell bad."

"Get used to it. It's that or freeze to death."

"Hmmm."

"Get over here, will you?"

"Promise first you won't speak to me anymore while we're here."

"I told you to be nice. Or are you only nice to rich assholes like you?"

"Material wealth has nothing to do with how I treat a person."

"Then, how come you treat me like garbage?" Kenpachi asked, smirking.

"Because you smell like it," the noble answered dryly.

"How about neither of us talks to the other? How's that?"

"Works for me."

"Goodnight, Byakuya.

"Hmph..."

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Squad 12 captain's log entry 212016: An interesting set of developments. It seems that brute does have a few redeeming qualities. When he saw Captain Kuchiki's life was actually threatened, he acted quickly and in a fiendishly brutal way to protect him, then saw to his wounds, only reverting to caveman behavior whenever Captain Kuchiki regained consciousness. It will be interesting to study this behavior in more detail. The two seemed to get rather more friendly for a few scant seconds before returning to hating each other.

Ah, but the monitors indicate that Captain Kuchiki's wounds are depleting him. I will act to effect enough of a cure to leave him still a bit helpless, but not dying.

"Nemu! Send a drone to Captain Kuchiki to give him a transfusion of blood and reiatsu. The fool is going to die if someone doesn't do something. And as much as I love the idea of a world with one less stuffy noble in it, I do have work for that fool to do before I kill him."

"Yes, Master Mayuri," his vice captain answered, her hands flying over the keyboard in front of her.

Mayuri watched quietly as the drone crept into an opened senkaimon, then floated through the precipice world, passing through the wall of sludgy reiatsu and entering the pocket dimension where the six and eleventh squad captains were trapped. It buzzzed softly as it approached the two, then emitted a soft beeping as a long syringe emerged. It closed in on Byakuya, where the noble now laid, leaned up against a dozing Kenpachi. It reached Byakuya and hovered in front of him, moving in to begin the transfusion.

"Fucking mosquitos!" Kenpachi grumbled, swatting at the drone and sending it soaring away, where it struck a tree, crashed down into the water, where it fizzled and sparked, then quickly expired.

"Blasted MORON!" Mayuri roared, "NEMU!"

Mayuri stiffened and stared in fascination as Kenpachi looked more closely at Byakuya and scowled.

"Fuck. You're dying, aren't you?" he muttered, thinking quickly.

The twelfth division captain made a sound of shock as a different kind of reiatsu gathered around Kenpachi's hands.

"You're gonna die if I don't do something, so I'm gonna get a little reckless here. Hope you don't mind, Kuchiki. This oughta perk you back up."

"Th-that can't be," Mayuri managed dazedly, "He can't be using...is he using his own life force to save Captain Kuchiki?"