Emily felt her chest hurting again, as she felt the stinging. It was an excruciating pain, as Emily let out a cry. Tears filled her eyes as she sat, recalling the nightmare she just had. She could see it, vividly. She heard a low pitched hum, a roar, getting closer, and closer, as she covered her ears, letting out a cry. She was having another PTSD episode. Her cry became louder, as she covered her ears. Her body shook. She rocked back, and forth to self soothe.
She let out another cry, as her face became red, and tears streamed down her cheeks. Getting up, she went in Bev, and Ed's room, seeing them sleeping. She felt nervous to ask them. What if they said, "no"? Emily felt the innate fear, the fear of death crawl inside her, eating away at her. This pain, the pain in her heart, ate away at her, ripping, and tearing at her. The sadness, the deep sadness clawed at her. Emily stood by her parent's door, looking in.
"Mommy". She said. She felt as if she was about to cry. Bev still lay sleeping. "Mommy". Emily said, as tears came down her cheek. "Trrss". Was heard beneath the sheets, as Bev looked over at Emily. "Yes, sweetie?". Bev said, kindly. "I had a nightmare". Emily said, as a cry was heard. "Shh, it's ok, love". Bev said, gently. "It's ok". "Mommy's here". Emily cried, as her body continued to shake. "What's wrong, pumpkin?". Ed asked, as Emily cried, tensing up her fists. "She just had a bad dream". Bev said, gently. Ed hugged Emily, as Emily accepted the hug. "I want mommy". She cried. "It's ok, sweetie". Bev said, gently. Bev kissed Emily's tear ridden cheek. "Mm, I know sometimes bad dreams are difficult". Now, Emily laid beside Bev, turned on her side, as Bev stroked her cheek. "Sometimes, when we experience something traumatic, we tend to relive those experiences as bad dreams". Bev said, kindly, softly.
"Why do I have bad dreams?". Emily asked, still crying. "Sweetie, that's because you experienced something terrible". Bev said, gently. "You were in a plane crash, your birth parents passed away, your adoptive parents passed away". "You were in the orphanage". "Sometimes, when we're hurt early on, we relive trauma as nightmares". Bev said, kindly. "Oh". Emily said, calming down, now. "What happened in your bad dream, sweetie?". Bev asked, gently, stroking Emily's cheek. "I...I heard a plane". Emily said. "My mommy and daddy laid down on the ground". "They didn't move". "I was by myself". "Hmm". Bev nodded, gently. "Sweetie, it's ok to feel scared". "It's ok to be sad". "Just know, daddy and I are always here for you". "We love you more than anything else". "I know it's been hard losing your other mommy, and daddy". Bev tickled Emily's cheek.
"Know that they would be proud of you, if they saw what an extraordinary person you've become". "You are so strong, and thoughtful". "Daddy, and I love that about you". Bev said, gently. "I know". Emily said. "You'll be ok my wonderful, love". Bev kissed Emily's cheek. Emily's eyes began to fall, as she drifted off to sleep. Bev continued stroking her cheek. Soon, they were both asleep, and even though her heart hurt, Emily found peace when she slept.
The next morning, Emily woke up in her parents' bed, near where Bev slept. She felt the pain in her heart only getting worse. She turned over on her side, wanting to get some sleep. She felt a plethora of tiredness after having her nightmare the night before. Emily turned over on her stomach feeling something beneath the pillow where Bev slept. It felt metal, it felt silver. She reached under, taking out a ring with a diamond in it. It was Bev's wedding ring. But, why was it off? Why was it under the pillow? Emily wondered. Emily took it out, looking at it. "White". She identified the color of the diamond, as she looked at it. Emily put the wedding ring on the dresser, laying back down.
The reality Emily didn't know stated that Bev's ring slid off when she was having sex with Rocko. Bev didn't wear the ring to dinner the night before, although Ed didn't notice. Emily looked at the wedding ring, wondering; "what is that?". Emily didn't worry too much longer, as she laid down, and got a few more minutes sleep.
Emily got up, looking over at the window curtains. They were chique, although simple. Emily yawned, getting out of her mom's big bed. She looked outside on the porch, seeing her mom drink her coffee on the porch, and smoke a cigarette. Bev was naked, as she laid on the lounger drinking her coffee.
"Mmm". she smiled, chuckling a bit, as her breast nipple shone in the sunlight. She did have big breasts, and big nipples. Bev spread out, thinking of Rocko, what she would do or say, if he came out. He would have to kiss her. She blew out some cigarette smoke, as the cigarette sat in the ashtray, with a thin line of smoke billowing upward.
Emily came outside, holding her bear. She was still in her pajamas. "Good morning, beautiful". Bev said, gently. Emily stood, gazing absently. "Emily". Bev redirected. Emily responded to her name, by lifting her head. "Love, you look beautiful". Bev said, gently. Bev brushed Emily's face with her pudgy hand. "Mommy, you are naked". Emily said. "Sweetie, you've seen mommy naked before, haven't you?". Bev said, kindly. "I don't know". Emily said. Bev smiled a gentle smile. "Sweetheart, how are you feeling?". Bev asked, gently. "I...I don't...I don't". Emily started to say. "You had a bad dream last night". Bev said, gently. She held a calm, nurturing, motherly nature to her. "Why?". Emily asked. "Well, maybe you felt a bit scared, maybe you were sad". Bev said, gently. "I was sad". Emily said.
"Sweetie, why were you sad?". Bev asked, kindly. "I...I...I was sad that my adopt dad died". Emily said. "Hmm". Bev nodded, with understanding. "You were sad that your adoptive parents passed away". Bev said. "Yeah". Emily said. "Hmm, I know you miss them, sweetie". Bev said, gently. "They were wonderful parents". "They got you the services, and help you needed to thrive". "Why do I need help?". Emily asked.
"Sweetie, when you went to the orphanage, you were never rocked, held, cuddled, told, "I love you". Bev said, gently. "You were left in a dark room all by yourself with no one to hold you". "When an amazing, beautiful girl isn't held, or touched, given love, and contact, they tend to fall behind, developmentally". "Oh". Emily said. "Sweetie, you were never abused, but, you were deprived of necessary care". Bev said, gently. "I needed my mommy?". Emily asked. "You did". Bev said, kindly. "You needed your birth mom's care to thrive". Bev brushed Emily's face. Emily turned her head. "Do you miss your birth mom?". Bev asked, softly, in a whisper. Her deep, raspy smoker's voice still held depth to it. "Yes". Emily said. "I understand, love". Bev said, gently. "It's not your fault these things happen". "Sometimes, when we're young, bad things happen, but, we should never blame ourselves". "It's not my fault?". Emily asked. "It certainly isn't, sweetie". Bev said, gently. "You rescued your birth family".
"You saved your brothers, and sisters in the orphanage". Bev kept her wording simple for Emily to understand. Bev spoke at a "younger" level, in order for Emily to understand. "You are a wonderful, giving person who has done more for others than you will know". Bev said, gently. "You've done more for daddy, and I, than we'll know". "No". Emily said. "Yes, you did". Bev said, kindly. "You've given us everything". Emily looked down at Bev, sniffling. "I think it's my fault, because I did not save my family". Emily said, as tears welled up in her eyes. "You did save them". Bev said, gently. "They're in heaven, thanking you each, and every day for keeping them safe". "They are with me". Emily said. "They are". Bev said, kindly. "Daddy and I are with you each day". Bev assured. "We will always be here to help you, and care for you, and love you so much". She nuzzled Emily. Emily sniffled, still. "It's ok, love". Bev said, gently. She kissed Emily's cheek. "It's ok". "Let's smile". Bev said in a motherly, gentle voice. She tickled Emily's chin.
"Why don't you go in, and take out some yogurt, and we'll put the cookies in, as soon as I come in". Bev said, gently. "Ok". Emily said. She took her bear, and went in. Emily had on her full body princess pajamas.
Ed came outside, after putting the paper on the kitchen table. "You look satisfying". Ed said, in a suggestive register. "I know you like sugar". Bev said in a sexual register. Ed leaned down, kissing Bev, as Bev pulled his tie, and tried pulling his shirt off of him. They kissed, as Ed pulled down his pants, and they kissed with ecstasy.
Emily was inside at this point, and going near the fridge. She opened the fridge door, looking up as she did, turning her head. She looked like she needed help. She took out a yogurt, trying to figure out how to open it. She just looked at the yogurt, examining it. She sat, holding her yogurt close to her. It was actually Bev's yogurt, but she ate it. "Mommy". She said, looking upward.
Ed and Bev kissed on the lounger, as they were both naked now, joining their reproductive organs yet again. Bev felt a fuzzy feeling, as a rock hard p, slipped into her V, digging inward. Their tongues curled around one another. Ed pushed Bev's tongue back a little bit, curling around it. They kept doing it, until later on, it just felt like a rock, hard penis in Bev's young feeling vagina. Even if her vagina was worn.
Emily played with her bear, as Bev came in, Ed followed. Ed pulled up his pants. "Good morning, sweetheart". Ed said, kissing Emily's cheek. "Daddy". Emily said. "Did you have breakfast yet?". Ed asked, tying his tie, after his morning sex with his wife. He put on his suit jacket. "No". Emily said. She held her bear close. "Alright, sweetheart, let's get you some yogurt". Ed said, as Emily handed him the yogurt cup, and he opened it. "Cookie". Emily said. "Does mommy usually put cookie pieces in there?". Ed asked. "Yes". Emily said. There was a bit of a pause, by now one would think Ed was strict, and would not allow for cookie pieces to go in yogurt, as they were too unhealthy.
"Here you are, sweetie". Ed said, putting Oreo pieces in Emily's yogurt. "Enjoy". Ed sat down, and read the paper, as Emily ate her yogurt. "How'd you sleep last night?". Ed asked. "I had a nightmare". Emily said, trying to eat her yogurt. "That's not good, pumpkin". Ed said, gently. He was skimming the paper. "What was your nightmare about?". "My mommy, and daddy". Emily said. "Mm, the ones you just lost". Ed said. His voice still sounded a bit harsh, even when it was trying to be gentle. "Well, pumpkin, you've been really strong". "Sometimes bad dreams come about, though". "You just have to remember how good you've been to us". "ok". Emily said. Bev came out, wearing a skimpy black, silk bra, and fishnet stockings. She also wore "sex" heels.
"Sweetie, would you like some help?". Bev asked, gently, as some yogurt dribbled from Emily's chin. Emily gagged a little bit from not knowing how to swallow. "No thank you". Emily said, picking up another spoonful. "Here, love, let me help you". Bev said, gently. She picked up the yogurt spoon, feeding Emily a spoonful. Emily gagged a bit, as she looked upward. "You can do it". Bev said, kindly. "Let's swallow". She gave Emily another spoonful, as Emily pushed it down her throat. "Very good, Emily". Bev said, gently. Her voice sounded low, deep, and raspy. As if it was of a lower register. Emily ate another spoonful of yogurt, pushing down the yogurt, using the strength of her throat. "You did so well". Bev smiled, nuzzling Emily. "Mommy, I swallowed". Emily said, lifting her hands up. "Yes, you did". Bev said, kindly. "I love how strong, and independent you are". Bev kissed Emily's cheek. Emily tasted the cookie pieces in the yogurt, as she ate it. "Love, can I get you some almond milk?". Bev asked, gently. "Yes, please". Emily said. Bev smiled an admiring smile, pouring some almond milk into Emily's milk container.
"She is so respectful, and polite". Bev admired, sighing, dreamily. Of course Bev believed children should be children, and have the soft, loving relationship between their parents, which included being informal. Ed on the other hand, believed respect was paramount. Still, Bev loved how upright Emily was. Emily was honest, respectful, reliable, mature, and always did the right thing. Emily was a dear girl.
Bev kissed Emily's forehead. "You are getting so big, my love". She smiled a greasy, cigarette stained smile. "I have to get dressed". Emily said. "Let's wear our jammies today". Bev said, kindly. "I think today is pajama day at your school". "Pajama day". Emily said. "Besides, you look adorable". Bev said, gently. "Ok". Emily said. Bev put Emily's jacket over her pajamas. "You look marvelous, darling". Bev smiled, kissing both of Emily's cheeks.
After Emily brushed her teeth, and picked up her bookbag, she went outside to wait for the bus. The bus came in her driveway, picking her up. It was a small bus. It was just a van with other kids from the school. Ivanov sat in the back, putting his orange skyball in his mouth. "Good morning, my ray of sunshine". Bev said, kindly, winking at Ivanov. Ivanov made sucking noises, gazing vacantly. "I'll see you later, my sweet boy". Bev said, gently. Ivanov continued gazing. "See you later, baby girl". Bev kissed Emily's cheek, buckling her in. "bye, mommy". Emily said.
The little van sped off, as Bev went in, pouring herself a glass of wine. She sat outside, lighting a cigarette, as she tasted the nicotine, feeling quite satisfied. Although, she just wanted to do certain things with Ed. She wanted to feel his penis again, feel the weight against hers, and gasp for air. She loved having sex, and now, she could do it anytime she wanted. Being retired was lovely.
Later that day, the school was busy. There were children that played, some sat with their therapists learning to swallow, and eat. Ivanov sat playing with his truck. "Da da da da". He babbled. "Hi, Ivanov". Emily said, playing with her bear. She brought some of her barbie dolls with her, brushing their hair. "A ba ba". Ivanov pointed. Ivanov had short, blonde hair, and light blue, round Russian eyes. He was very skinny, and today, wore full body pajamas. He knew simple words and phrases, such as "no", "yes", "please", "mama", "dad", "thank you", and "milk". He was learning more phrases as time went on. Ivanov only babbled, and spoke in "baby talk". He was severely intellectually disabled, and had an IQ of 64. He had seen violence in Russia, survived a terrorist attack, lost his birth parents to that terrorist attack, and suffered extreme abuse, and neglect in a run down, mafia run orphanage in Russia. The evil orphanage director committed suicide, while the other mentally ill staff were chained to stakes, and burned. The orphanage was closed down, and Ivanov watched the staff die. Ivanov was taken to America, and adopted.
Ivanov and Emily knew one another. Their families were friends with one another, and oftentimes Ivanov would have outings, or sleepovers at Emily's house. Today, Ivanov felt ok. For now. There was sadness still, although he was calm. Ivanov sat, as tears welled up in his eyes. "It's ok, Ivanov". Emily said, coming over to hug him. Ivanov cried loudly, curling up to rock back, and forth. "Eeee!". Ivanov cried, as tears streamed down his cheek. Ms. Dee Dee, the head teacher came over. "Shh, it's ok, buddy". Ms. Dee Dee said, gently. "It's ok". Ivanov cried, rocking back and forth to self soothe. "Shh, shhh, shh". "It's ok, now". Ms. Dee Dee soothed. Ivanov usually was very quiet. Although, he had severe PTSD, and had episodes. The fear of being killed, stabbed, hurt, or watching someone die was an everyday trial for him.
Each second, he anticipated yelling, screaming, a bomb, or someone to stop breathing. Ivanov felt that pain rip, and tear at him, clawing its way upward, and resonating in him every second. Ivanov would rock back and forth to soothe himself, sometimes he would scratch his own skin, and self harm. Ivanov lived with this fear, sadness, guilt, and anger every day, even if he was with his gentle, new family.
"Eeeeee!". Ivanov cried loudly, as his body shook. "Eeee!". He cried, as his face became red, and he sobbed. He cried, tensing up, feeling scared, sad, bewildered, just as an abused child would.
"Shh, shh, shh, It's ok, baby". Ms. Dee Dee said, gently, holding Ivanov. "It's ok". "I love you". She sang softly. "I love you". She stroked Ivanov's face, rubbing his hands until he calmed down.
Emily sat back, watching, knowing the pain Ivanov went through. She had gone through that same pain. Emily's eyes welled up with tears. She went over, giving Ivanov a hug. "I love you, Ivanov". She said in an underdeveloped, delayed speech. Ivanov accepted the hug. Though he tensed up. "Thank you, Emily, honey". Ms. Dee Dee said, gently. "That was so sweet of you".
"Ivanov, honey, can we talk?". Ms. Dee Dee said, in a gentle, soft, motherly manner. Ivanov looked up at her. Ms. Dee Dee could see the pain, and the fear in his eyes. "Shh, it's ok, baby boy". Ms. Dee Dee said, kindly. "I know right now, you feel afraid, and that something will happen". "But everything's ok now". Ms. Dee Dee stroked Ivanov's face. "You, me, mommy, and daddy, Emily, we're family, and we're here to protect each other". "I love you, and I will never let anything happen to you". "I will protect you too". Emily said. "Thank you, Emily". Ms. Dee Dee said, gently.
Emily felt this darkness in her heart. She felt a fear come over her, a sadness come, as she sat, swallowing her tears. The pain, the stinging of her heart, the irregular heartbeats came, as she clenched her fists, not saying anything. She felt the pain wanting to claw itself out, and rip open her heart. It stayed there, eating away at her. She felt her heart sting, the pain throb, as she sat, silently.
Soon, it was lunchtime, as the other kids went to sit at their tables. Emily looked up, seeing a large, green toad, lady, talking with her teacher. Emily and Ivanov were still sitting on the floor. Ivanov had calmed, and was now drinking his almond milk. "Emily, Ivanov, can you come with me for a second, I have someone very special who would like to see you". Ms. Dee Dee said. Ivanov, and Emily got up, walking outside. Bev sat in the school lobby, putting her lipstick back in her purse. Bev wore her skimpy, wallet sized, "Victoria's Secret", bra, with fishnet stockings.
"Hello, my special love". Bev said in a raspy, deep, yet gentle voice. "Mommy". Emily said, hugging Bev. "I thought we could have a fun day, just us". Bev said, smiling a cunning smile. She kissed Emily's cheek. Ivanov stood, looking down at Bev. "da da". Ivanov put his hands up. "Hello, my wonderful boy". Bev said, gently. She kissed Ivanov's cheek, as well. "You look so darling". Bev said, stroking Emily's cheek. "I love you, so much". "Thank you mommy". Emily said. Ivanov put his fingers in his mouth. "Ivanov". Bev said, gently. Ivanov looked up at Bev, responding to his name. "I love you, my special prince". Bev tickled his cheek. "A ba". Ivanov pointed.
Bev admired Ivanov, in a way a mother would admire, and help their disabled child. Bev was proud of these children, and loved their backstories.
"For our special day, we'll eat at your favorite place". Bev said, gently. " Pizza hut". Emily said. "That's right". Bev said, gently. "We'll do that, we'll go to the Spa". "it'll be our day". Bev winked, cunningly. Emily sat, still feeling the pain, the stinging, of her heart. The pain ripped, and tore, as if it was a wound that would not heal. This wound would stay with her for years. Emily swallowed her tears, keeping the pain inside.
"Ivanov, sweetie". Bev said, gently. Ivanov looked up at her. "I know how my special prince, my best friend, loves his helicopters". "I got you something that just says, us". "Our special friendship". Bev gave Ivanov a large toy helicopter. Ivanov laughed, and played. "Thank you". Ivanov said. "Of course, my prince". Bev said, gently. She winked at Ivanov, tickling his cheek. It was a cunning, mischievous wink. Ivanov sat, playing with his fingers. Ivanov looked up to Bev, Emily's mom. He trusted her, and often, when sad, went to her sometimes for comfort.
"For my hero, and best friend, my love, I got us this to enjoy when we have our time". Bev said, gently. Emily opened her gift, seeing a heart shaped box of chocolates. "Chocolate". Emily identified what was in there. "Yes, that is, sweetie". Bev said, kindly. "For you and I to enjoy". "Thank you, mommy". Emily said. "Of course, love". Bev said, gently.
"I love my baby". Bev said, kissing Emily's cheek.
"Are you ready to have lunch, sweetie?". Bev asked Emily, gently. "Yes". Emily said. Bev helped Ivanov, and Emily out to the car, buckling them into their seats. Ivanov sat, gazing absently, staring at his hands, regarding them as if he'd only seen them for the first time. "How was school today?". Bev asked gently, driving down the road to the Pizza Hut restaurant located near the spa.
"Good". Emily said. "I played with a dog". "Mm, that sounds good". Bev said, gently. "Did they have Cody come in?". "Yeah". Emily said. "Mmm, he helps alleviate everyone's sadness". Bev said, kindly. Ivanov drank his almond milk. "Sweetie, how do you feel when you play with Cody?". Bev asked, gently. Emily sat, holding her almond milk. "I...I...I feel happy, because Cody's there". Emily said. "I'm glad he makes you feel happy". Bev said, kindly. "Why do they have Cody?". Emily asked. "Sweetie, Cody is a therapy dog". Bev said, in a gentle, nurturing voice.
"Sometimes, when we feel sad, it's nice to have a comfort animal there to help with the healing process". "Do you ever feel sad, sometimes?". Bev asked Emily, gently. Emily sat, feeling her mother connected with her on a deeper level, with this one. "Yes". Emily said.
"Well, sometimes, when you feel sad, Cody can come, and give you comfort". Bev said, gently. Ivanov was doing his own thing, playing with his fingers. Emily looked down, wanting to tell Bev what she had seen that day. "Ivanov was sad". Emily said. Emily was concerned. "That's too bad". Bev said, gently. "Why was he sad?". "I don't know". Emily said. "He was crying". "Ms. Dee Dee made it better".
"Hmm". Bev nodded in understanding. "He may've been having a flashback". She said, softly. "What's a flashback?". Emily asked. "Ivanov has had some trauma when he was younger, just as you have". Bev said, gently. "Sometimes, Ivanov relives some of his traumatic experiences when he has those episodes". "He has PTSD, just like you do".
"Did Ivanov get hurt?". Emily asked. Ivanov looked up at Bev, paying attention now. "He did". Bev said, gently. Ivanov looked up, paying attention now. "Hurt". Ivanov said the other word he knew. "Hurt". "I hurt".
"Sweetie, I know you did, but you're doing much better now". Bev said, gently. "You have a family that loves you, friends who love you". "You have improved so much, since you came to us". Bev spoke to Ivanov.
"Do you remember that?". Bev asked, gently. Ivanov was listening now. He said one of the only other words he knew. "No".
"Well, sweetie, when you came to us, you couldn't walk, you couldn't talk, you couldn't even lift your head". "Mommy and daddy adopted you, and you did so well". Bev said, gently. "You became a hero". "Well, you were a hero before when you saved your birth family". "Mommy, and daddy are so proud of you".
"You are their hero". Bev smiled back at Ivanov. "And my prince charming". She chuckled upon saying this. Ivanov drank more of his milk.
"You were adopted too". Bev said to Emily. "Why was I adopted?". Emily asked, pronouncing the word, "adopted".
"Sweetie, your birth parents died when you were very young". Bev said, softly.
Emily tried to comprehend what had been said. But she asked a question. "Why did they die?".
"Sweetheart, your birth parents were the victims of a terrorist attack". Bev said, gently. She wanted to keep it honest, and real with Emily.
"Emily, sweetheart, you were born on February 19th, 1998 to your wonderful, birth parents". Bev said, gently, smiling. "Your birth parents, you may still remember them, you may not, loved you more than anyone else". "You were their gift". "You were very happy with your birth family, until one night, there were a group of terrorists that came in, and attacked your birth parents". Bev began getting emotional as she told this story.
"No one survived". Emily felt close with her birth parents. She had prayed to them. Although, she didn't remember when they had been killed.
"That's what happened to Ivanov, too". Emily said. "Yes, his birth family was attacked as well". Bev said, softly. "You both endured trauma, but you both mean so much to your families". Ivanov was sleeping at this point, now.
"That's why you're close". Bev said, gently.
"You lived on the streets for a while, and you were a victim of violence, abuse, you survived".
"I was by myself?". Emily asked. "You were". Bev said, gently. "You were found, and taken to an orphanage, it was Orphanage 32". "32?". Emily asked. "Yes, 32". Bev said, gently. "They never abused you, but you weren't given the love, care, and attention you deserved". "You were deprived".
"I don't know". Emily said. "You were, and sometimes, when we're deprived, we lack the components needed to develop the right way". Bev said, gently. "When babies are young, they need affection, love, and care in order to develop, and grow".
They pulled into the Pizza Hut parking lot. It was closer to the spa than was expected. In fact it was right by it. Bev got out of the car, taking her cigarette pack out of her purse.
She went over, unbuckling Emily and Ivanov from their carseats.
They got out, standing over by the parking lot. Bev lit a cigarette, puffing in smoke, drawing in nicotine. "Mm, Ivanov, baby, I know you like your pizza". Bev said, gently. "A ba ba". Ivanov babbled. He bowed his head, praying. "Mat". he said. "Are you talking to your birth mom?". Bev said, gently, stroking Ivanov's cheek. "She's always with you, baby boy". Bev kissed Ivanov's cheek.
"Mommy, Ivanov is praying". Emily said. "He is, baby". Bev said, blowing out more cigarette smoke. "Maybe after Pizza, we'll get some ice cream".
"Ice cream". Emily said. "Like the kind we have at home". "Chocolate ice cream". Bev said, gently. Bev's cherry red, painted lips, looked cracked, and wrinkly. It was from smoking.
"Sweetie, I know chocolate's your favorite". Bev said, kindly. "We'll get some, we'll go to the spa, relax, then we'll have some girl time when we drop Ivanov off".
"Ok". Emily said. "Mommy, tickle tickle". "Yes, we'll tickle, tickle". Bev said, gently. "I'll massage your face". "You love it when I massage". Bev's "sex" heels, scraped against the pavement.
Ivanov came up to Bev. "there's my prince". Bev said, gently, smiling a cunning smile. "I love you, baby boy". She stroked Ivanov's cheek.
Bev stepped on her now, dud of a cigarette, as they walked into Pizza Hut. The Pizza Hut seemed empty, and only two waiters were working there. "Sit anywhere you like". The waiter said.
Bev, Emily, and Ivanov sat at a table. Bev had Ivanov, and Emily on either side of her. "Thank you, mommy". Emily said. "Of course, my love". Bev said, gently. Bev kissed Emily's cheek. They sat, before their waiter came over, taking their order. "What would you like to drink?". He asked. "Can I have milk?". Emily asked. "Sweetie, would you like chocolate almond milk?". Bev asked Emily, gently. "Yes". Emily said. "Do you have chocolate almond milk for her?". Bev requested. "We do". The waiter said. "Milk". Ivanov said. "Mm k, so they'll have almond milk, and I'll have an iced tea". Bev said. The waiter wrote it down, then going to get their drinks.
Ivanov played with his fingers. "Mommy". Emily asked, looking up at Bev. "can I be normal?". Bev wiped some drool that dripped down Ivanov's face, as Emily got back to their conversation. Bev was focused enough to respond honestly. There was a bit of a silence between them, as Bev responded. "Well, sweetie, I'm afraid not". Bev said, softly, yet gently. "You have to remember, you have a learning disability". "You didn't learn the necessary skills until you were nine years old". "Oh". Emily said. "I...I...I want to be smart". "I want to help you, and daddy". "I don't want to be selfish". Emily struggled with pronouncing the word: "selfish".
"Sweetie, you are the most selfless, giving, loving, humble person I've met". Bev said, gently. "Besides, Ivanov". "You are not taking from Daddy and I". "you've been through horrible trauma". "Watching your birth parents pass on, being neglected by the orphanage, watching your adoptive parents die". "Your entire life, you've worked hard, protecting the people you love". Bev was talking to both of the kids, now. "You've tried to survive completely on your own, all while not receiving the love, and care you needed". "You are not a burden to us". "We knew you needed a place". "You've been through so much". "No child, no loving, heroic, wonderful guardian angel that has blessed the world with their presence, should ever experience what you have". "You are a hero to your birth family, and to your adoptive family". "Never forget that". Bev said, gently.
"Mommy, I didn't save them". Emily said, looking down at her necklace her birth mother got her. "I didn't save them". "Sweetheart, yes you did". Bev said, gently. Bev tickled Emily's cheek. "You saved those people from that plane crash". "No". Emily said.
It all came flooding back to Emily at that moment. The memories. The shouting, the screaming on the plane. Emily trying to fly the plane. It all ended, however. No one survived.
"I got on the plane". Emily said, sniffling. "It was dark". "I got on the radio". "I flyed the plane". Emily used the wrong past tense form of the word "fly". She did have underdeveloped speech. "The plane crashed". "The people died".
Tears welled up in Emily's eyes. "Sweetie, you did an incredible thing". Bev said, gently. "You came in, and rescued everyone". "You rescued your mommy, and daddy". "You are a hero". "I feel the most safe around you". "But, they died". Emily said, sniffling. "It's ok, sweetie". Bev assured. "You should never blame yourself". "You did so well". Ivanov was listening now. He looked over. "Mat". he said. Bev knew that was the Russian word for "mother".
"Yes, my special boy". "You're a hero to everyone you've met, as well". Bev said, gently. "Do you remember when you rescued your brothers, and sisters at your orphanage?". Bev's lips, drizzled, as they softly said these words. There was a soft tinge. "Yes". Ivanov said. "You rescued them, you rescued your birth family". "You are a hero". Bev said, gently. "Your parents, mommy, and daddy, feel so safe around you". "They know how reliable you are". "You're my prince charming". Bev smiled mischievously. She tickled Ivanov's cheek. "You've swept me off my feet a plethora of times".
"We are so blessed to have you". "You are our inspiration". She kissed Ivanov's cheek.
"But, I want to be on my own". Emily said. "I don't want to be dis-a-bled". She struggled to pronounce the word. "I understand, sweetie". Bev said, gently. "Remember, it isn't your fault". "You had something terrible happen". "It's ok, now". "Love will make it all better". "Ok". Emily said. "You're our inspiration, and you will always be". Bev said, gently.
The waiter brought over their drinks. "Ok, so, one 8 cut pepperoni pizza?". The waiter asked. "Yes". Bev said. The waiter put it on his notepad, then walked away.
"Sweetie, do you miss your parents?". Bev asked, gently. "Yes". Emily said, sniffling. "Hmm, how does it feel knowing they're gone?". Bev asked, gently. Emily brought this to mind, thinking about her parents. She thought about the influence they had on her, even if it was short. "Sad". Emily said, sniffling. "That's ok, sweetie". Bev said, gently. "Remember, they're always with you". "If they were here, they would be so proud of you". Bev kissed Emily's cheek.
"Daddy, and I love you". Bev said, as Emily sniffled. "We are so happy you are part of our family". "You are so strong, and thoughtful". "I love that about you". "I love you, too". Emily said.
"Mat". Ivanov said, bowing his head to pray. "Birth mom loves you". Bev said, gently. "I love how you still talk to her". "So sweet". Bev sighed dreamily at her children. They were both loving, and kind. Heroic. Bev smiled an admiring smile. She just wanted to spoil these children.
"My special boy". Bev kissed Ivanov's cheek. "Mommy loves you, bestie". Ivanov babbled, as drool dripped from his chin. "Ivanov, baby, can you swallow for me?". Bev said, gently. Ivanov sucked in the drool, swallowing.
"Good job, love". Bev said, kissing Ivanov's cheek. Ivanov felt a wave of calm come over him, as he got kisses from Bev.
The pizza eventually came, as Ivanov sat, playing with his fingers. "It's very hot, so we'll be careful". Bev said, gently. Emily ate a breadstick, dipping it in marinara sauce. When the pizza cooled down, Bev took two slices for Ivanov. Emily got two slices. Bev cut Ivanov's pizza up for him, feeding it to him. "There, sweetie". Bev said, gently. She forkfed the pizza to him. Emily ate her slices. Ivanov enjoyed every bite of his pizza.
It was good pizza. Although, it was filling. "Mommy". Emily asked Bev. "Why do, does, your son not talk to you?". "Well, sweetie, he had a bit of a hard time with us". Bev said, gently. "He didn't think he should follow our rules, so he went his own way". "Sometimes that happens with parents and children as time goes on". "Luckily, you know you did well with them, or so you think". She sighed.
"There are things I've regretted doing as a parent". Bev said. "Being a parent is a learning experience". "There is so much one can learn, as well as teach". "I'm certain I've done my best". Emily sat, eating her pizza. "I wouldn't mind doing it again". Bev said. Emily looked up at Bev. "My mommy, and daddy were nice". She said. "They truly were good people". Bev said, gently. "My mommy and daddy used to sing, Blackbird fly, to me at bedtime". Emily said. "They told me I was a hero". "And that I did everything good".
Emily remembered her adoptive parents, holding her, teaching her to sit up, walk, swallow, and talk. Soon, a vision of a kind looking woman, and man outside on the swings with her, came to mind. Emily felt their presence. She felt their love, and their hope radiated upon her. She felt a deep sadness that they were no longer there. She felt a deep depression set in. "mommy, daddy". She said, sniffling. Tears came down her cheeks. Then the scary visions returned.
The thunder roared in the background, as Emily sat, touching their caskets. She was too disabled to know what she was doing. She remembered, however. The heartbeat that was once theirs was no more. Now it was time to lift the caskets, and lower them into the ground.
Emily felt the sharp pain in her heart, again. She sniffled. "Sweetie". A deep, raspy, voice said. Emily responded to Bev's voice. "It's ok". "I love you". Emily sat, eating her pizza. After a while, she felt full.
Ivanov felt a hopeful presence, as he sat. This presence was the aura of light. It was the glimmer of hope. This presence was his birth mother. A kind looking woman touched his cheek, bringing hope, and faith upon him, as he sat, healing his scars. "Mat". he said, as tears welled up in his eyes.
Bev sat, smiling a gentle smile as Ivanov prayed. Bev understood. She knew the true love between a birth parent, and child.
"Love, would you like another piece of pizza?". Bev asked, kindly. Ivanov didn't respond. He was praying. "I'm sorry, love". Bev said, gently. Emily ate some more pizza, then drank her almond milk. Emily felt deeply saddened. It would be ok, though. Right? It had to be.
Ivanov ate his pizza, as Bev stroked his cheek. "I love you, my prince". She said, gently. "Love you". Ivanov said.
Later, they sat, fat, full and happy. The kids drank their almond milk, as Bev contemplated another cigarette.
It was a happy day at the pizza place. Later, they took their drinks to go. The kids, and went to the spa.