RATED M FOR SEXUAL CONTENT

Where you find out after your first time together

*

She remembers learning about it like it was yesterday. For the majority of her life, she didn't even know they existed. Could you blame her though? A life in the foster care system didn't normally equate with healthy ideals and perceptions of loving relationships. It wasn't until she was fourteen that she first learned about soulmates.

She had been living in a group home run by nuns back then. It was probably the best living situation she'd ever had. The downside was that the group home was temporary. She'd get about six months to a year there before the state would reassign her to whatever crappy foster parents were available to take her. The nuns were sweet and genuinely cared for her well-being. They helped her get babysitting gigs to score some extra cash, they washed her laundry, they baked her favorite desserts, they always made sure that she was taking the best classes in school, but best of all, they were honest.

To outsiders, it was almost comical how open the nuns were when it came to talking about sex. Well, it wasn't really sex that they were talking about. It was the soul bond. You know, the verse that says a man will leave his father and mother to be with his wife and they will become one flesh? Well, when the nuns found out that she'd never heard of soulmates before, they wasted no time explaining everything to her.

It was from them that she learned how sacred sex was. Because that's how you found out. The first time you make love to your soulmate, there's this thing that happens. This explosion of emotion and love that you can't quite contain as the bond of two people becoming one was completed. There was nothing quite like it.

That's why from a young age, she learned not to take it for granted. If she'd learned anything from her time at the group home with the nuns, it was that you didn't just have sex with anyone who came around. No, you waited until you found a person you loved and a person who loved you before consummating the relationship in the most intimate of ways.

That's why she made the decision early on to save herself for her future husband. Sure her peers may have thought she was weird or crazy for having such thoughts, but it honestly wasn't that hard for her. Not when unbeknownst to them, she'd see her soulmate in her dreams.

Yes, that was right. She could see him. The first time she told the nuns about her dreams, they ooh'ed and ahh'ed over her confession. Sister Miriam had heard of this before. It didn't happen to most couples, but pairs of soulmates with extremely strong connections often would dream of each other so vividly, it was like they were truly in the same room. These were the couples that would be drawn to each other almost immediately. They were the special ones. The strongest bonds. They were the couples people wrote books about movies about.

So, young Jo embraced the dreams. She looked forward to the moment she finally drifted off in a peaceful slumber and got the chance to feel him again. His face was always conveniently blurred so she didn't know who he was. He would stand in front of her and cup her face in his strong hands, holding her as if she were a precious jewel. Tentatively, he'd lean down and kiss her, tasting her and exploring her softly before becoming more assertive with his ministrations.

The clothes fell from her skin and he kissed every inch of her that he saw: her nose, her breasts, her stomach, her lower lips. Every kiss sent Jo's senses reeling and she'd tug him closer to her, wanting more of his hands on her. She was obsessed with his touch and she couldn't get enough.

Her soulmate would gently deposit her on the bed and remove his clothing, watching her carefully, taking in her naked body. Jo could sense how aroused he was by the heaving of his chest and the hardness of his shaft. It always gave her a thrill of pleasure knowing that he wanted her so much.

Once he took off his clothes, he crawled onto the mattress and skimmed his hands over the valleys and peaks of her body, caressing and stroking her in her most intimate places so achingly slow that it'd bring her to climax.

Then he would give her a few seconds to catch her breath before positioning himself above her and pushing his way into her body. Somehow, he knew just where she liked to be touched and his hands fondled her with adoration as he continued to push his hips against hers again and again.

These dreams would come to Jo every single night she went to sleep and it was all she could do to stay sane after waking up. For a long time, she yearned to know what it would feel like to make love with her soulmate for real.

She was nineteen when she thought she'd finally found it. She'd been attending Princeton, but living in her car because her scholarships didn't cover housing. She'd been getting ready for bed one night when one of her professors, Dr. Stadler, knocked on the window of her car. He must've deduced what was going on, because she got an invitation to stay in his home.

It started out with her just renting a room for eighty bucks a month. Eventually, it ended up with her agreeing to marry the man at the tender age of twenty, despite the protests of her friends.

On her wedding night, she'd been excited. She did the right thing. She waited and now she was going to be able to consummate her relationship with her husband and hopefully, complete the soulmate connection. You can imagine the disappointment when nothing happened. There were no fireworks, there was no rush of emotions, there was no bond that had been formed. That's when she realized the mistake she made. She'd married a man who wasn't her soulmate.

Jo tried to get over it. Honestly, she tried to ignore the feeling of emptiness every time she joined her husband in coitus. She focused on what he would always tell her, that it was her duty as a wife to fulfill his needs and desires. That she should feel privileged to get the opportunity to satisfy him in that way.

It worked for a couple years. Even throughout the abuse, she told herself that maybe it was because she wasn't being a good enough lover. Maybe if she just became more submissive, maybe if she just quieted her moans a little more, maybe if she stopped thinking about what she desired, maybe if she focused on his pleasure, then he'd change his ways and realize that the abuse wasn't conducive to their relationship.

And like she said, the lies she told herself for a couple years worked. Until one day they didn't.

When she left, she had written off the thought of finding her soulmate. The once expectant youthful spirit within her had been crushed by the dark realities of the real world. The fairytale of finding your soulmate was just that, a fairytale. A whimsical, enchanting story that often ended in tragedy.

*

Growing up, he'd heard about soulmates. He'd heard the legends about finding out when you first made love and scoffed at the idea of there being one person for you.

Life had never been that simple for him. If anything, his life was colored by way too many shades of complicated. It was exhausting to say the least. His home situation growing up hadn't been the best. The instability, the abuse, the fear, well that was enough to make anyone go looking for love in places they shouldn't.

The first time he had sex, he was fifteen. By no means, did he believe that she was his soulmate. She was the school nurse for crying out loud, and as mature and jaded as he might've been at that age, she still took advantage of his naivety and innocence.

The second person he had sex with was around his age. It was definitely a different experience, but there were still no sparks--not that he'd been expecting any. He'd heard the girl was a great lay and that's all there was to it. No butterflies, no excitement other than arousal.

The third person he slept with, well he had actually loved her. The anticipation leading up to it had his seventeen year old self thrumming with nerves. Maybe, she'd be it. Maybe he'd finally obtain the love and stability he craved for so long. Much to his disappointment, she wasn't the one he'd been hoping for. It was probably for the best though, because two weeks later, he overheard the girl talking bad about his mom and promptly ended the relationship.

After that, he stopped pursuing relationships. Sex was a tool. It was a stress reliever. Which is why by the time he'd graduated med school, he'd probably slept with upwards of thirty partners. Every time it was the same. Arousal and that's where it ended. There was no depth, no connection, no earth-shattering moment. All there was, was release. A momentary pleasure that lasted a few minutes before it faded away into nothingness and brought back the feelings of inadequacy of his youth.

It may have been why he sabotaged relationships before they really had a chance to take off. The constant fear of being left alone was a result of a deep set trauma he'd experienced growing up. He slept around and earned the title Evil Spawn due to his seemingly crass and careless attitude. He hurt people and caused unnecessary pain and drama. A part of him knew it was wrong, and he wanted to be better.

Maybe that's why he married a woman who wasn't his soulmate. Sure, she was beautiful, kind, funny, optimistic, and a bit dramatic at times, but he truly did love her. He loved her and she was sick and he wanted to do right by her. He wanted to give her something to live for.

It didn't really occur to him that maybe he should've waited. Maybe he shouldn't have married a woman who wasn't his soulmate. Because what happened if Izzie lived? He'd made a vow to never be with another woman as long as the two of them lived. He'd be tied to a woman that was promised to someone else for the rest of his life. He supposed he could live with it. He could be happy. He could make Izzie happy. Maybe he'd be enough.

He wasn't enough, though. Months into their marriage, Izzie left him. She left him because she didn't trust him. Although he'd done nothing wrong, she'd left him and tossed him aside like garbage. That really did a number on him. He went from the doting, caring husband back to the Evil Spawn he'd tried to grow out of.

Again came the meaningless one night stands and flings that would never last. Every one of those encounters leaving him more and more disappointed. It shouldn't be this hard to find your soulmate. All he wanted was to feel something--anything--the next time he found himself in bed with a woman.

But as the years passed, it grew clearer that this was his life. He was soulmate-less and alone. And until he reconciled with that, he'd never be able to move on with his life.

*

Meeting Jo is probably one of the most significant days of Alex's life. He knows almost immediately that this intern is going to be a pain in his ass, but he can't quite shake the feeling that she's special.

Jo on the other hand, would say that meeting Alex Karev and becoming friends with Alex Karev is one of the things she never saw coming. Of course she thought he was attractive, who wouldn't? Still, she never thought that their friendship would turn into this.

But if you ask either Jo or Alex what the best day of their lives was, they'd probably answer the same thing: the best day happened about a week ago when they shared their first kiss. Sure, that day had been messy and complicated, but if it weren't for trees in living rooms and hospital blackouts, they probably would've been too chicken to get together. Which sounds pretty ridiculous because anyone with eyes could see just how perfect those two were for each other.

Maybe that's why Cristina is so surprised when she finds out that Jo and Alex have yet to consummate their relationship, "Did you guys have sex and it was awful? Was she awful?"

"No," Alex grumbles, still half asleep.

"Were you awful? And now you're so ashamed you can't even look at her?"

"No," Alex shifts in the bed, bringing the pillow closer to him.

"Was it weird?" Cristina whispers in his ear. "Is she a man? Ooh! Secret penis."

"Shut up," Alex scrunches his face.

"Well, then why don't you guys ever sleep together?" Cristina asks, still not understanding.

Alex finally has had enough and jolts from the bed to face his friend, "We will!"

"Oh," Cristina's jaw drops and her eyes fill with mirth. "You too haven't done it yet."

"We do… we have… we…"

"Oh you do, done it?" Cristina mocks. "You have?"

"We do… we do! Just get out!" Alex sneers.

"Okay, okay… Just think about that," Cristina hums and nods her head. "Because it's been like, a week and you haven't closed the deal. What have you done to Evil Spawn?"

"I was sleeping," Alex frowns, facing away from Cristina and gripping his pillow tightly.

Cristina lets out a laugh and pats Alex on the shoulder before getting up, "Oh God, I knew you'd cheer me up."

Alex groans as he hears her leave the room. He wants to have sex with Jo. He really does. But for some reason, he's nervous. He doesn't think he's ever been this nervous before. Hell, he's never told a woman he loves her before he's even slept with her. This is all new territory and it's kind of freaking him out.

Jo on the other hand, is desperate for something--anything that will serve as her signal that Alex wants her and is ready to have sex with her, "I'm waiting for Alex to make a move. So, I'm prepared. All the time."

"What about grooming?" Leah asks.

"All the time," Jo huffs in annoyance.

"That's exhausting," Stephanie comments, looking her friend up and down. "Why don't you just make the first move?"

"Because I'm not the slut that just jumps into bed with someone right after her friend died," Jo explains, pulling her scrub pants on.

"Really?" Stephanie teases, patting Jo's butt playfully.

"Well, I'm not gonna advertise it," Jo sighs and moves to put on her top. "I'm just… I want to get out of the way. I need to know."

"Know what?" Leah shakes her head in confusion.

Stephanie tilts her head, "You don't think? Karev?"

"You think Karev might be your soulmate?" Leah's eyes bulge out in surprise. "I did not see that coming."

"I don't know… maybe?" Jo leans against her locker. "All I know is that I haven't felt this way about anyone before. Just one kiss with him is so much more… than anything I could do with anyone else.

"It's been a week and he hasn't made a move. Is that weird?"

"Yeah," Stephanie states frankly, leaving Jo to bang her head on her locker.

A couple hours pass and Jo and Alex find themselves frustrated. Each one wanting to have sex with the other, but too nervous to actually do anything about it. It isn't until Alex finds himself in the OR with Cristina later that afternoon that he finally realizes what's been eating up at him.

"Would you stop wringing your hands? God, no wonder you can't have sex."

"I can have sex," Alex glares at her. The OR goes quiet as the staff stares at the two surgeons strangely. "I can have sex."

"Are the hydraulics not working?" Cristina asks. "I can write you a script."

"Look, that's not… she's not," Alex stumbles over his words. "She's just… bummed about her dead friend and stressed about her exams."

"Those are not valid," Cristina looks at Alex unimpressed, waiting for him to finally cough up the real reason why he hasn't made a move yet.

"Alright. There's been a lot of girls since Izzie. A lot of nobodies. This girl isn't a nobody. She's…" Alex shakes his head. "I don't know. When I think about it, it just seems important. Like… like it's gotta be the right time."

Cristina stops what she's doing and looks up, "You want it to be special."

"What?"

"Nothing. It's sweet."

"Are you making fun of me?" Alex scoffs at his friend, mildly offended.

"I am not," Cristina looks at him seriously. "Can I ask you one thing? When we're done here, will you braid my hair?"

Alex makes a face as Cristina giggles quietly, "You've got to get over this whole special thing. Just throw her over your shoulder, take her to bed, and go to town."

"Every girl's dream," Alex replies sarcastically.

"She's the thing that's special dumbass," Cristina exhales and takes a more serious tone. "God, you have the right person, right there. You both want the same thing. Maybe she's your soulmate, maybe she's not. You won't know until you go for it. So stop being a sissy and go make love to your girl and find out."

Later that night, Alex walks into the house and throws his backpack in the corner, eyebrows furrowing when he sees Jo waiting in front of the steps with a nervous smile on her face.

"We have the house to ourselves," she lets out a breath and continues. "But I want you to know that just because I'm about to jump into bed with you, doesn't mean I'm an unfeeling slut who isn't sad about Heather, because I am sad. But I'm also very, very--"

"No more talking," Alex makes a motion with his hands.

"What? Oh!" Jo gasps loudly as Alex throws her over his shoulder in a fireman's hold and starts up the stairs. So, turned on by his display, Jo shouts and giggles. "Yes! Oh thank God!"

After that, she doesn't know what to think. To be completely honest, she's not sure she wants to think. The moment he'd slung her over his shoulder and carried her up the stairs Jo had been a goner. Which is why it's so easy to let any and every semblance of conscious thought fly out the window the moment his body rocks hers into the wall and his lips move to her neck. His kisses are both frantic and reverent, hasty in his urge to taste every inch of skin, yet he allows himself to pause just long enough to nip at her with each brush of his lips before he moves lower.

His reverent fingers start to remove her shirt and kiss down every inch of silky skin he finds. Hot lips trail down from the side of her face to her neck. His teeth scraping at her collarbones, making Jo squirm under him. Fingers thread in his hair, drawing him all the more closer. Alex murmurs how sweet and beautiful she is, how perfect she is, and how much he loves her at every inch of newly revealed skin.

She repeats the sentiment and then moans aloud uncontrollably when he finally removes her bra and takes her hard nipple in his mouth. Jo's back arches as he takes his time eagerly pleasuring her with his tongue and teeth, giving her more pleasure than she ever thought possible.

It's dizzying, distracting her, making her fumble as she tries to undo the buttons of his shirt. Everything between them feels hot, frantic. Perfect. Even without ever having slept with him, part of her knows he'd always feel this perfect, even when nothing is at all.

He lifts her petite body up as Jo wraps her legs around his waist. Their lips don't leave each other's until he places her down on his bed. Jo pulls him down for another slow and sensual kiss as he lets her take control and search every corner of his mouth. Jo moves her hips against his, desperate for more friction between them.

"Jo," he breathes, moving down onto his knees in front of her, and she tips her head forward as he hooks his thumbs over the waistband of her jeans and her panties, tugging them down her thighs. His hand curves over her hips as he digs his fingers in, making her gasp as he bites lower, teeth grazing the inside of her thigh. His lips murmur her name into her skin over and over again, a tease, a taunt. A punishment, she realizes, when his breath ghosts over where she's aching and wet, pausing, his eyes flicking up to meet her gaze. She pushes her fingers into his hair, tightening, earning the wisps of a smile on his lips.

And her heart cracks wide open.

He licks a broad stripe up her sex, quickly finding her clit, and she lets out a moan. Jo arches her back when she feels his lips on her hot wet folds. It was all sweet and gentle but she needed more. She was desperate for more. She couldn't take this slow torment anymore.

"Alex… baby… please," Jo's breath catches in her throat as her hands push his head down to urge him to go faster. He complies, anything she wants she will have it. His tongue licks up her slit, tasting her sweet nectar, until he finds the sensitive nub that makes Jo moan his name out loud.

He sucks at the tight little bud, once, twice, three times, drawing out a mewl from her lips as she coils forward and twists her fingers into his hair, and then his tongue slips lower, licking down to her entrance as her knees quiver.

It takes him no time at all until she's whimpering, grinding her hips as best as she can as he finds her clit again, sucking, circling, pushing her closer and closer to that dizzying edge. He groans, slips a hand between her legs and strokes two fingers over her slickness, almost toying with her wetness – because fuck she's so wet – and then easing them inside of her as he pulls his lips off of her with staggered inhale, like he's gasping for air. Her vision nearly whites out when he curls his fingers, thumb stroking over her folds as his lips hover, parted, just over her throbbing bundle of nerves. She mewls, knees quivering as his fingers continue curling, making her keen out as they brush that sweet spot.

Then he slips his hand out, takes her clit between his lips and hums as he pushes three fingers back into her, and her body jolts as she comes with a cry.

Her walls clamp around his fingers for a moment, pulling a groan from the back of his throat, and he thrusts once, twice, three more times, long and hard and deep, before pulling his hand away to grip her hips, as her body writhes from the waves of her orgasm.

His lips are still against her sex, teasing her as he murmurs soft, sweet things, coaxing her back down from her high. He doesn't stop until she comes down from the euphoric high. He doesn't remove his mouth from her until Jo gently shoves him away, overstimulated.

When she opens her eyes again, Alex is stripping off his clothes and giving her a great view. Alex kneels down between her legs, parting them wide enough. Jo feels the tips of his length at her entrance and she fights the urge to just thrust her hips up, biting her lips to keep herself from moaning.

"Alex… I need you," it sounds like a hopeless plea that only he could release her from this agony. "I need you now. Please don't make me wait anymore."

"Never… not anymore," Alex cups Jo's face and looks at her with so much love that it's overwhelming.

This is it. This is the moment they'd been anticipating for the past week. This is the moment where they'd confirm what they'd already suspected for months, now. It is sacred. It is now.

The nerves course through their bodies, sending shivers up each of their spines. Every neuron is charged with endless amounts of electricity, waiting to finally connect their bodies. With one last look at Jo for approval, Alex aligns himself, slowly pushing in.

It happens instantly. Immediately after Alex sheaths himself inside of her, there's a flash, a shift that takes over all conscious thought processes and the rest of the world fades away. It's followed by this rush, this burst of emotions that knocks the breath out of each of their lungs. Jo and Alex gasp for air as they take in the magic of what is occurring. No one moves, no one hardly breathes, in fear of ruining the oh so precious moment in front of them.

The first thing they feel is love. An all-consuming, ever-growing love that seems to spill out of their pores. The second is joy. A contagious, tear-inducing, kind of joy that wouldn't run out. The third is peace. There's a sense of utter contentment, security, and tenderness in their actions.

Finally, there's the bond. Though, both Jo and Alex suppose that it is simply the completion of the bond that had always been there. From the moment they met, Alex recognized something different in this woman. There was something about her voice, her smile, her laugh, her eyes, that made his heart beat wildly every time she grew near. In all his life, Alex had never experienced love quite like this before. It was always fleeting and often temporary, but this… oh this love is here to stay. So, although overwhelmed, he's not really surprised at all. This was something he'd always known. Jo was without a doubt his soulmate, and he was hers.

For Jo, it is almost too much. Too much feeling that she'd never experienced from sex before. It had never been this way before. She never felt so much love from a man. She never felt so safe and cherished. Before this it was all greed and lust, not love, caring and reverence. It is a new and earth shattering kind of realization. This was what the nuns had been talking about. This is the kind of thing they write about in romance novels. This is the kind of thing from dreams.

Except it isn't a dream. It's real. The stories she'd learned as a child, the promise of the legend he so desperately craved, they are all true.

Jo lets out a shaky breath as she opens her eyes to look up at Alex. He's already staring back at her, a look of absolute love and wonder on his face. They stay there like that for a moment, taking in the intensity of emotions. There's a silent communication going on as Alex enjoys the feeling of her warmth enveloping him as he stretches her and allows her to adjust to his size.

Jo rolls her hips slightly as she reaches up to kiss him. They both groan at the sensation. Sensing that she's ready for more, Alex begins to thrust torturously slow. Even though she's dripping wet, Alex is careful in his movements, pushing inch by inch until he's once again seated fully inside her heavenly body.

A whimper escapes her lips and it takes Alex's attention. His brown eyes cautiously observing her but he sees nothing but desire burning bright. She licks her lips and digs her hands in his hair, "Oh my God."

Alex feels so good inside her, filling her up, reaching the places she didn't know existed within her. Every touch makes her feel alive. He slowly pulls back, moaning at the feeling of her heat and wetness that surrounded him. They were made for each other. Alex bends down to kiss her lovingly as he plants both hands on the bed for the support. Eagerly trying to press back against his hard thrusts, her legs wrap around his hips.

This was a dream.

He whispered in her ear, "I'm real."

She stares back up at him, tears running down the side of her face from her beautiful hazel eyes.

"Why are you crying? Am I hurting you?" Alex asks, alarmed at her reaction.

"No… no… I just… it's perfect." Jo chokes back a sob and breaks out into a smile, "Everything is perfect."

Alex kisses away her tears and picks up his pace once again. His hands take hold at her hips as they move as one, breathe as one, and come alive as one. Every movement, every kiss, every moan, every high allows their souls to reach out for each other, their minds become one, and every part of their very own being comes together at this final stage of the bond. The deepest level of intimacy between two soulmates. The soulmate bond is finally complete and nothing could ever separate them.

Another wave of tears of joy fall from Jo's eyes as she feels how close they are now. She is sure she's about to combust when he thrusts back to the hilt in one powerful slam, feeling his cock rubbing over her g-spot making Jo moan quietly. She trails her fingers through his hair, holding him closer at the same time he rocks faster into her.

"Alex… god… almost there," she cries, all other thoughts and words fading away as all of her is consumed with lust and desire.

Alex seems to pick up on her cues and drives hard and fast into her. Jo throws her head back and moans aloud. His thick shaft is pulsing inside her, making her body tremble, spasm and convulse around him. Alex groans out her name as her walls clench around him, pulling him over the edge with her. Alex doesn't stop moving even when she comes hard, still moving his hips harder, deeper, helping her ride out her orgasm as he fills her up.

He holds her tight and unwilling to let her go even after she finally comes down from her high. He keeps her in his warm embrace, pressing a loving kiss over her neck and shoulder, murmuring how much he loves her.

Jo feels tears prickling at her eyes once again. Sure, she's never felt more sated and beautiful up until this point. But that's not what's overwhelming. What gets her is the fact that she's never felt so much love until this very moment, until Alex.

He settles down next to her on the bed and pulls her along with him, "I love you."

"I love you too, Alex," she replies.

They lay there for some time, staring at each other intensely. It's strange how easy this is; how right this feels. No words are necessary. Not anymore. The completion of the soulmate bond renders all other kinds of communication obsolete. Words aren't necessary when you can feel every emotion that your other half is experiencing.

Still, words can be lovely. Words still have value.

"It's you," Jo breathes out, a smile forming at the corner of her lips.

"It's you," Alex echos, pressing their foreheads together. "God, I'm so happy it's you."

"I didn't think I had one," Jo confesses quietly. "I thought that maybe I was too broken, or didn't deserve one. But I have one and it's you. My best friend. My favorite person."

"I didn't think I had one either," Alex shares, kissing her nose softly. "I hoped it was you. That's why I took so long to make a move. I was scared that I'd be wrong. Because, there's no one I can think of that I'd rather spend the rest of my life loving."

"We're soulmates," Jo grins brightly. "We get to tell everyone that we're soulmates."

"Yeah, we do," Alex's face mirrors hers. "I can't wait for the whole world to know that the amazing, incredible, intelligent, gorgeous, Jo Wilson is my soulmate."

Jo laughs, "I love you."

"I love you more."

A/N: AHHHHHHHHHH!!!! This was my first real try at smut. I hope you guys enjoyed it and let me know any ideas for future soulmate fics