Song to listen to: Ritt Momney - Put your records on.
It's still cold in the mornings, yet the birds are singing again. Spring has come, and so I start by planting new seeds to grow my small garden. With a little luck, I can grow some vegetables like I did last year.
Tristan's horse, who I discovered is named Valo, is resting in the small enclosure Tristan has built him. Valo hinnies as he grazes, ears turned to listen me turning over the earth and digging small holes for my seeds. Footsteps crunching on some leaves have my head turn up to see Tristan walking towards me.
-"Good morning." I call to him, giving Rosemary a piece of lettuce. Chopper, Tristan's hawk, is as usual perched on one of the pieces sticking out of my roof. It took us a while to teachh im Rosemary was not food. Chopper is intelligent however and after some time he has learned to leave her alone.
Tristan saunters up to me while I finjgert the bracelet on my wrist. It's not much, a string of leather and some pieces of wood he has made smooth. There are some carvings in a language I don't know, but I'm quite sure they are in Tristan's native language.
It's been nearly a month since I accepted the bracelet and Tristan's proposal of courtship. He's been patient with me, though he sprung the question on me barely a few weeks after he came to live with me.
There hasn't been much happening. Some touches here and there, accidentally grazing of fingers but there is always this look. It tells me enough. I know he loves me, he's told me too many times he loves me and though it warms my insides, I had to hold back, to save my sanity because I was still scared it was all a dream.
Yet, it's no secret, i return bhis feelings, after all these years, my love for him is unchanging. It's only grown stronger and he knows, dear God, he knows. He's told me so, he tells me even now in the way he looks at me.
And now I continue wondering why I hold back, but the truth is, I'm still scared for if my heart is broken again, I will be ruined to ever love again. But I want to, I want to give into my feelings and live and love and spent all my life together with this man.
And look at us, would I have ever doubtedf of his feelings for me, of his will to be with me,thispast winter has proven his tenacity, and here I am, and I couldn't be happier.
Then Why don't I take the leap? Perhaps because I am still frightened of what fully giving in means. My thoughts dissapear as Tristan calls my name.
He looks at me and then an apple appears in his hand. Casually he starts unskinning it with one of the knives he holds in his boot. Today he wears his usual pants and boots and a black crude tunic. His hair, though washed and brushed, is already curling back into it's unruly waves. For once, his braids are undone and his tattoo catches my eye as the skin on his face wrinkles while he eats. Dear God, this man will be the end of me.
He notices me staring at him and then holds out the apple to me. I smile, eyes closing and take a bite. -"Yseult." Tristan says -" Yes?"I inquire as I turn to him. He takes hold of my hand, brushing the earth of my fingers.
- "Let's not work today. Let's go for a ride." I blink. - "Huh?"
- "Come." He says again and then pulls me forward, opens Valo's enclosure, who steps out.
- " Tristan, wha.." He doesn't answer. He simply grasps me by the waist and then deposits me on Valo, who is throwing his head up and down, left fronthoof pounding on the ground. I look down but then Tristan simply swings up behind me, making my scoot closer to the front.
Then, he pulls the reins, gives a small tuck in the horse's sides who is off into a small canter. My house grows smaller behind us and I look up at him, startled.
- "Tristan,wait! I.." He bows slightly forward, his mouth to my ear. - "Relax, Yseult. You have deserved a day out. Enjoy it."I sag in the saddle, mumbling to myself. He is right though, I have bene working myself to the bone always worrying if I have enough food, is the roof still holding, is there enough to feed the animals, will my crops grow. I love my little house and the life I have, but it's a hard existence. If you don't succeed in farming what you need, starvation or other ways of dying is a big possibility. Luckily I have always been practical, making sure I can survive.
For now, as the world passes me by, all those thoughts leave me and I turn forward, grasping hold of Valo's mane's gently as Tristan steers the horse forward behind me. I close my eyes, the sun on my face.
The small canter of Valo turns into a full grown galop as we speed through the hills, Tristan's presence steady at my back. We ride for a while and when Valo jumps over a small pond, I nearly fall off. I squeak and then start laughing, loudly. A smirk plays on Tristan's face as a small rumble leaves me, a tear running down my cheek.
I quickly wipe it away and catch my breathe, my insides still trembling from the gusts of peeling laughter just seconds earlier. Valo's steady galop turns into a small canter and then to an relaxed step.
I feel elated and turn back to smile at Tristan. As we continue on through the hills, the sky grows dark and rain starts pouring.I get soaked in minutes, Tristan quickly leading Valo beneath a alrge tree. Tristan is soaked as well, rivulets dropping from his clothes and hair onto his face, his now remade braids swinging with a wet squelch on his cheelks.
As soon as the horse is beneath the tree where we seek shelter, Tristan climbs down and then helps me off. I wring out my sodden dress and hair as we wait.
It's not long before the shivers set in. The Samaritan is beside me in an instant and then envelops me in a hug. He starts to stroke my arms to get the blood flowing back in my body. Keeping blood going and warming up is key. We stand like that for a while, Valo grazing at the grass between the treeroots.
The rain continues to fall, so tick that we nearly see nothing beyond the trand the downpour that hangs like a curtain beyond it's branches. I breathe deep, holding on to Tristan's arms as we watch, waiting for the rain to stop.
My wet hair, stringy and sodden, hangs in my face and it eerily reminds me of that moment so long ago when I and Ysolde fought. But only for a second that thought flits across and I feel nothing of the pain or the grief or bitterness.
I have begun healing over time and now I only think of how I miss Ysolde and how it musn't have been easy for her either. I just miss her and that's all. Over time the hurt and grief, the bitterness, I have started releasing it, letting it flow away like a river over rocks. It's been years and months now that Tristan is back and I am tired of being bitter over what happened.
The past is the past and now, as I'm finally healing from all that pain and suffering, I just want to look forward. I'm not fully there yet, but I am coming there and I don't want to think of anything else than happiness.
I only hope I will one day have the opportunity to tell Ysolde that and hold her in my arms is only me, Tristan, Valo and the rain, washing away the warmth of today's springday. But I can't think but think back to Ysolde for a moment. I
My flow of thoughts stills as I breathe in the fresh smell of rain on the air. Then I turn back to my knight, not surprised at all he's watching me with those dark eyes of his. His hands reach for my arms as I touch the small blue marks on his cheeks with cold fingers.
He closes his eyes at my touch, only to open them again and stare straight at me. I look up, and all my feelings are mirrored in his eyes and how I love this man. Tristan slowly moves his head down and then hovers near my lips. He waits, but I am tired of waiting.
I move forward and my mouth meets his, like an angry wave crashing to shore. He's right back at me with the same urgency, small kisses peppered on my cold lips,my mouth moving over his. Then my lips part and his tongue enters and he takes possesion of me but I don't mind, not at all.
His arms are now around my waist and one hand moves to stroke my back. My hands grasp his shirt with trembling but strong fingers, crinkling the fabric.
Tristan's kisses are unrelenting. He barely gives me a moment to breath or his lips are on mine again and his tongue plays with mine, deep openmouthed kisses that make my knees weak and my blood pound.
My heart beats at a quick rhythm and I can nearly feel it thrumming with " mine,mine, finally mine" and I just love this man so. All that I am, all that he is, in this moment our souls are entwined, binding together until i don't know where I start and he ends.
His hands have by now tightened in my hair and when I pull back he doesn't stop, his lips trace my face, peppering kisses on my eyelids, down my throat and he whispers different words in his mothertongue and then whispers them again in English against my ear.
I love you and you are mine and I will never let you go. I nestle myself deeper in his arms and finally his head rests atop mine and he wraps himself around me. We stand like that for a time, the rain has by now stopped though the sky is still gray.
-" Tristan." I whisper, soft, compliant. -" Hmm?" He whispers. -" I, we.. I love you." I whisper again, only for him to hear. -" I know." He says. -" I've always known." And then his calloused hands heft up my head and he looks at me. -" I love you as well, Yseult." I smile and can't help ut feel my cheeks heat. Then Tristan steps back, his hand slightly lingering on my back.
-" Now,.." He says, serious, but warmth in his voice.. -" You need to better your riding skills."
I smile. -" Can I?" Then I point to Valo. He nods and helps me up the horse's back. I grin as Valo starts moving beneath me, slowly galoping across the fields, Tristan standing in the distance, laughter in his eyes.
6 months later
" Are you okay?" I wonder, putting down the cloth in my hand. Tristan looks at me but says nothing before sighing. -" I have received a letter..from Arthur." I sit up immediately, looking at him.
-" King Arthur Castus?" He nods at my question. -" I have been summoned to Camelot."
" Summoned? You need to go back to Camelot, do you?" I ask. Courting we might be, Tristan has made no promises to me. If he goes, I wll not stop him for his freedom is the one thing he values and that I will neve take, not after years of slavery.
and closes his eyes, and we stand like that for a while.
-" Perhaps it's not a bad thing." Tristan replies. -" I can tell Arthur's off my plans to retire with you." I nearly choke when I hear him. A small nearly invisible smile comes up on his face. -" You really rthought i would go back to Camelot or Hadrian's Wall?" I shake my head. - " I just don't want to presume about your future. The choice is yours."
He grasps my hands in his callopusedc ones. -" Then this is my choice. I will go to Camelot to help Arthur, once I have done that, I come back and we make our future here. If you will have me of course." I squeeze his hand- " Agh, what shall I do? " I pretend to think very hard, but I know he notices the smile of my face. I look at him and kiss his cheek.-" Of course I will have you."
He grins and then lays his head on top of mine. -" The next time we both go to Camelot, it will be as husband and wife." He breathes deep, closes his eyes, and we stand like that for a while.
The next day Tristan leaves, and I stand in my doorway, waving him off, a smile on my face and a promise in my heart.
A/N: Stay Tuned for Tristan's p.o.v in the next chapter. I hope you enjoyed reading!