(Dope)
It was far, far too late to be at the studio. That did absolutely nothing to prevent Yoongi from being there, however. 2 am and he was still working; he had been since lunch the previous day, which was…13 hours ago? 14? It was hard to keep track of time. Honestly, Yoongi needed the time by himself. Their comeback was fast approaching and it was beginning to get stressful, so instead of rehearsing and repeating dance moves for the 8000th time, Yoongi instead chose to stay in his studio, surrounded by his creations.
He felt better like this. He could 100% lose himself in the music and let his brain do whatever it wanted. It could think up lyrics, happy or sad, cute or personal, and Yoongi would let it run away. Just so he didn't have to concentrate on anything. He didn't know what day it was, he didn't remember the last time he slept, he didn't remember where his phone was. He was switched off and just relaxed.
And then the door opened. He regretted not changing the code to his studio after Hoseok discovered it, so now at least three of his bandmates were being loud and Yoongi did not appreciate it. Upon turning around, he saw that there were four of them and they were very drunk. Hoseok and Jimin were singing completely different songs as loudly as they could, probably thinking they were musical geniuses and Taehyung was dancing along to the cacophony of noise. Namjoon was stumbling in behind them.
"Yoongi!" he slurred, "You're coming out dancing with us! Come on, let's have fun! Jungkook and Seokjin-hyung are already there, let's go!" Before Yoongi could object, Namjoon had grabbed his wrist and following the newly-formed conga line out of the door. It was times like these that Yoongi regretted agreeing to a place so close to a club. He didn't know how Jungkook and Seokjin were coping by themselves and he formed a logical argument that he knew would be wasted on his incoherent friends. He still tried.
"Namjoon, we can't go to a club. We'll get recognised and we can't have drunk footage of us anywhere in case we slip up." Namjoon just shushed him.
"First off, you're not drunk, so you're supposed to be looking after us. Secondly, it's okay, we've got a plan." They found Jungkook and Seokjin outside a club, laughing. The plan was explained. They would sneak in without being recognised, wait for a BTS song to play, then own the place. Simple. As much as Yoongi loathed this plan, he couldn't deal with trying to convince six drunk idiots to just go to sleep. Besides, he needed some fun tonight and laughing at his friends seemed pretty entertaining. So they snuck into the club.
It was exactly eleven minutes before a song they had made started to play. They had done a pretty good job thus far of keeping their faces covered and just mingling among the club-goers. But when a lot of girls screamed at Namjoon's voice blasting from the speakers, they all threw off their various sunglasses and face masks and hats and gathered near the centre of the floor. They smiled, about to burn the place up.
"Ayo ladies and gentlemen…" A few people turned. "If you're ready, I'll start, yeah…" A lot more people turned. "Different from other guys, with my style, with my style, ayo!" Jungkook had successfully gotten the attention of the entire club within two lines of the song. Yoongi appreciated his ability to keep his voice steady despite his inebriated mind. Jimin made a few more girls scream and one may have fainted as they assumed their familiar formation, grinning at each other.
After the longest four minutes of Yoongi's life, the song ended, leaving all seven of them thoroughly out of breath and being mobbed by enthusiastic Armys. The crowd was closing in and Yoongi had the advantages of being sober and small. He ducked through the crowd until he was a safe distance away from the throng of fangirls and fanboys besieging the others. By the time the next song finished, all of them were free and back to blending in again.
Namjoon joined Yoongi next to the wall, looking very flushed and exhilarated. It was cooler here and Yoongi wanted to stay a bit longer before diving back into the loud, hot amalgamation of sweating bodies on the dance floor. A song that Yoongi vaguely recognised as a killer bop began to play and suddenly, Yoongi wanted nothing more than to dance. But he didn't want to dance by himself. Unfortunately for Namjoon, he was within grabbing distance of Yoongi and was soon being led to the main floor.
Probably about half an hour passed of Namjoon and Yoongi laughing and singing and dancing and yelling and bopping and jumping with each other, not caring about the attention or the flashlights. Just having fun was all that mattered. They had no clue where the others had disappeared to; might be trampled under fans, might be doing something else under fans. It didn't matter. This was a night and a good one at that.
The mood switched up. A slower, smoother song played and everyone knew what that meant. Whether you were with someone or not, whether you knew anyone or not, you had to couple up. Yoongi and Namjoon were closest to each other so Yoongi automatically wrapped his arms around Namjoon's neck, the other's hands falling around Yoongi's waist. Without the masses of people twisting and churning around, Yoongi could see better.
Taehyung and Hoseok had partnered up, Taehyung looking almost unable to stand up by this point. Jungkook was clinging to Seokjin with fervour and Jimin was somewhere else, switching suavely between four or five partners. Player. Yoongi caught his eye and smiled disbelievingly at him. Jimin just shrugged and twirled to dance with a different girl. This led Yoongi to focus his attention back on Namjoon. He blinked, wondering if someone had spiked his drink, before remembering that he hadn't drunk anything.
Because he looked at Namjoon and found him utterly beautiful. Well-defined cheeks and jawline, perfectly mussed, faded lavender hair, deep brown eyes that locked onto Yoongi's with a kind of intensity he hadn't felt in a while. Yoongi was suddenly very aware of Namjoon's hands encircling his waist and the close contact between them. He wanted to pull slightly further away, just to get some space, but his body wouldn't let him. Sirens pinged in Yoongi's head, alerting him to something he no longer cared about. He smiled,
"Thanks for dragging me out tonight. I had a lot of fun." Namjoon didn't respond, seemingly lost in thought. Maybe trying to process the words, a skill he found more difficult after a few drinks. But his eyes seemed clear. Until he closed them. And leaned in. Close. And Yoongi let him. Their lips connected gently and Yoongi didn't think he had ever touched anything softer than Namjoon's lips.
A silky, honey-like feeling filled Yoongi from head to toe, giving him a feeling of contentment and completion that he didn't want to let go of. But then his sirens came back on again. He was kissing Namjoon in public, with people around, with cameras watching, while Namjoon was drunk and Yoongi was sober. There were suddenly so many things wrong with that sentence that Yoongi's brain failed to pick out every detail. He delicately pulled back and whispered,
"Namjoon, we can't. Not here, not now." Namjoon just tilted his head. The song was only halfway done but he still raised his hand to meet Yoongi's and held it tightly. He pulled him out of the door, leaving their other five members to fend for themselves without a sober guide. Yoongi's studio was a block away from the club and their apartment building was just across the road from that. However, they didn't exactly want to waste any time, so Yoongi punched in the code to the studio and led them both inside.
Namjoon pinned him against the wall, surprising Yoongi slightly, but he decided to just go with it. Because why not? Well… because Namjoon was drunk. Because they couldn't start a relationship together, that would ruin a nine-year-long friendship and get them dropped from their company. Because everything would be so incredibly awkward for all of them. That's why not. But Namjoon was kissing his neck and moaning against him and it just felt so…right. Despite this, Yoongi tried to push Namjoon's shoulders away.
"Joonie, stop, we can't," he protested, but Namjoon looked into his eyes again and Yoongi melted.
"Hyung," his voice was low and deep and Yoongi could definitely see where these fans were coming from, "Relax, you deserve this." Yoongi found it absolutely impossible to object. Everything about this seemed so perfect and all the hesitation, every single doubt in Yoongi's mind, faded away to the feeling of Namjoon's lips against his skin, the assertiveness yet sensitivity with which he kissed him.
But Yoongi must have seriously pissed off fate because she sent Jungkook to go and find them right at that moment. The rational part of Yoongi's mind overwhelmed the non-rational part in a split-second of panic. Just before Jungkook could turn the corner and catch them, he pushed Namjoon away with force, helping him sit on the couch. The most annoying maknae in the world entered the studio and flopped beside Namjoon. Yoongi felt jealous.
"Hyungs, me and Hobi got kicked out of the club for getting into a fight but no one can find Jiminie. Is he here?" Jungkook complained to both of them. Yoongi sighed and shrugged, frustrated.
"No, Jungkook-ah, Jimin isn't here. Why don't you go out and find him?" he answered, trying to stay nice. Jungkook whined and sank further into the couch.
"Why can't you two do it? You're both not drunk, anyway." Wow, that kid was drunk.
"Jungkookie, Namjoon isn't sober." Pulling himself up, Jungkook stretched and replied,
"Yeh, he is, he only drank water. He drove us back from the other club. Anyway, I'm gonna go try and find Jimin if he hasn't stolen a girl. See yall." And with that, he tripped back out onto the street. Yoongi turned his attention back to Namjoon, who was just watching the younger boy leave. He smiled and Yoongi realised why his eyes were so clear.
"Namjoon, you aren't drunk?" Namjoon looked like he was thinking but then shook his head.
"No. I mean, unless Taehyung spiked my drink. I honestly would put it past him, he's that kind of- "
"Namjoon, what the hell?!" Yoongi was yelling and he didn't quite know why. Namjoon hadn't exactly lied to him at all. If anything, it was Yoongi's fault for assuming he was drunk. No one had taken advantage of anyone and both of their minds had been working to full capacity. So what was the problem? Maybe the last ten minutes had sparked something in Yoongi that he didn't want to admit. That he could hardly admit to himself, let alone anyone else. Namjoon stood up.
"Whoa, Yoongi, calm down. I would apologise but I don't see anything that I did wrong. Could you tell me please?" Damn Kim Namjoon for being a reasonable human being. Yoongi stammered, wanting to be mad and not knowing why.
"You kissed me on purpose!" Namjoon waited to hear what he had done. "In public!" Namjoon was still waiting. "Do you really not see what the problem is with that?" Yoongi thought he knew but couldn't quite put his finger on it. Namjoon sighed.
"Can you honestly look into my eyes and say that you didn't want that? That you wouldn't have made the first move if I hadn't?" Well…
"Okay, that's an unfair question, I can't think when I'm looking into your eyes." Namjoon just grinned. Yoongi tried hard not to smile with him.
"Hyung, you did hear yourself say that, right? I told you, you wanted that to happen just as much as I did. So what's wrong?" Yoongi stayed silent out of protest. "I know how to make you tell me." Namjoon moved closer until Yoongi could smell his cologne. He tried not to shudder; key word being 'tried'. His body shivered involuntarily and Namjoon chuckled. He gently stroked Yoongi's hair and whispered,
"Tell me." Yoongi was holding back now not because he didn't know or was ashamed, but because he wanted Namjoon to force the words out of him. They needed to be earned, won. Namjoon kissed lightly along Yoongi's cheekbone and moved down, brushing against his lips. Yoongi kept his mouth shut, not trusting himself not to spill. Namjoon's hands ran down Yoongi's spine and rested in the small of his back, pulling him in closer. Yoongi's resolve burned away completely.
"I want you so bad," he breathed, "I need you. I keep having to tell myself I'm awake because I've been dreaming about this for so long. You have no idea how many times I nearly lost control around you, had to pull myself together after you broke me apart. God, I've prayed for this for so long and it's so fucking good. I love you so much and I can't even tell anyone. But this…this is real now so don't ever leave. Please." The confession flowed out of Yoongi's mouth without him really focusing but he knew every word was true.
Namjoon raised his head to imprison Yoongi's eyes with his own again. Yoongi would fall for them every single time, just as he had been doing for the better part of the last nine years. He hadn't admitted to anyone, not even himself, that he loved Namjoon. And now that he had, that simple fact ruled over his mind and made the world a little bit brighter. Namjoon smiled at him, showing off the cutest dimples in the world, and kissed Yoongi again. He was in for a hell of a night. He was in for a hell of a life.