This is what it is, and what it is is dark and sad but I'm lowkey proud. WARNING: Contains strong reference to drug addiction and abuse.
(Don't Leave Me)
No one could find Seokjin. Dinner was on the table and everyone was hungry, but it seemed rude to start without him. So they called for him and sat down to eat. But Seokjin didn't come. Curious, they went to his room, thinking he might be asleep. When they opened the door, they found the room to be dark and empty They checked the floor and the bed but there was still no sign of their eldest.
Taehyung decided to call his phone. He put it on speaker and everyone listened avidly. It rang eleven times and then went to voicemail. They tried again and got the same result. So he hadn't turned his phone off or declined their calls. He had just ignored his phone.
"Did he say he was going anywhere?" asked Namjoon, but no one remembered anything. They searched in everyone else's rooms because he might just be hiding or playing a joke. Again, their searches were to no avail. It was at this stage that they began to seriously worry. Jimin would usually be up for a game like this, but it was quickly becoming far less of a game. He paced, stressed, as they all tried to remember the last time they had seen him.
Hoseok and Taehyung had been with him in the morning for breakfast, he had played a game with Jungkook and Jimin after that and he had talked to Yoongi and Namjoon at some point in the early afternoon. But after that, no one had heard a word from him. At some point during their speculations, Jungkook's phone buzzed. He took it out, looking at the message, and chuckled slightly.
"Oh, for God's sake… He said 'find me' in English." Jimin's head snapped up. He wanted to break Jungkook's neck for finding this funny; this was so far from laughable. The others sighed at what they assumed was cheek from Seokjin but Jimin did not join them. He was trying to figure out the message.
"Upper case or lower case?" he asked quietly. Everyone looked at him curiously. Jungkook laughed again and Jimin was seriously considering taking a knife to that boy.
"Hyung, how is that relevant…"
"I asked you a fucking question, Jungkook, answer me!" Jimin suddenly shouted. Jungkook recoiled in fear and shock as the others immediately went to protect him.
"Jimin-ah, calm down, there's no need to swear. Try again, calmly," Namjoon soothed. Jimin clenched his fists and took a deep breath.
"The message. Was it upper case or lower case?" he asked again. Jungkook checked his phone.
"Uh… all lower case." Jimin let out a shaky breath.
"Even the first letter?"
"Yeah. Can I ask why this matters?" Jungkook sounded just as confused as the others looked but Jimin didn't care. He stormed to the door and just managed to grab his jacket before whirling out of the dorm. He didn't bother to shut it, knowing the others would be following. Right now, he needed to figure out if he should tell them or not. Because Seokjin needed finding and Jimin was the only one who knew why.
He knew the others would ask relentlessly and he didn't know whether he could tell them anything. But he needed to be responsible here. He just wasn't sure if he was ready for that. It took longer than he expected for them to catch up. He was almost out of the lobby before he found himself being flanked by Taehyung, Yoongi and Jungkook. Hoseok and Namjoon had presumably stayed at the dorm.
"Jimin, what's going on?" Yoongi asked. Jimin sighed, not bothering to try and explain anything serious just yet.
"Taehyung was the last person to contact him, yet he texted Jungkook. It takes extra to decapitalise the first letter since English is such a dumb language. And, he wrote it in English. He was letting me know he had some coherency left in him. 'find me' wasn't playful. It was desperate. That's what we agreed." Jimin knew he had probably created more questions than he had answered but he was trying to hold himself back from becoming an emotional wreck. Seokjin had been lost and he needed to be found right now.
"What do you mean you 'agreed'?" Taehyung questioned.
"I-I…" Jimin didn't want to say. But he knew he had to say. They would find out in a minute anyway and he couldn't risk them ruining everything. He took a breath to dispel the forming tears and felt Jungkook's hand lightly grip his. Jimin locked their fingers out of nerves and continued, still leading them through the night-time streets.
"Seokjin and I had… some problems in the past. Bad problems. We found each other at our worst and swore never to go back. For each other. For BTS. We agreed that if we slipped back, we would send signals to someone, anyone, and the other would find them. He's been gone for a while. I have no idea if we're too late. I haven't prayed in a while but I'm pretty fucking close to dropping to my knees right now. We have to find him. We have to. He's in trouble and we have to find him. We have to find him." The tears spilled out of Jimin's eyes and he choked on his words.
He felt Yoongi's hand gently brush away his tears but they were quickly replaced by more. Taehyung rubbed his back and they kept walking.
"We'll find him. Where is he?" Jungkook asked.
"I still know the way…" mumbled Jimin, not answering the question. "Jungkook, give me your phone." Jungkook handed it over without hesitation and let go of Jimin's hand so he could type.
Jungkook: I'm coming baby. You're safe. Stay there and I'll find you. ~Jimin
He handed Jungkook his phone back and turned another corner into a street that he recognised so unfortunately. It was dirty and smelled horrible and was somehow darker than its surroundings. He felt the other three tense up beside him and pretended that he wasn't terrified.
"Jimin, what is this place?" Taehyung whispered as they stopped outside the worst building Jimin knew existed. He turned back to the three beautiful idols standing before him and more tears fell at the feeling that they did not belong here. He reached into his pocket.
"You three are staying out here and that's that. It's safer if I go in by myself or you'll get dragged into this mess and it won't end well." He pulled his knife out of his pocket and held it out to Yoongi. "Hyung… protect them. Please," he blinked away tears. Yoongi nodded slightly and took the knife.
"Jimin-ssi please stay safe," Jungkook told him, his voice low and sounding far more mature than Jimin ever expected of him. Jimin nodded and turned away, heading into the building and not trusting himself to look back.
The building was hideously abandoned. Stairs splintering, wallpaper peeling, floor tiles cracking. And the people. A few of them milling around on the ground floor looking out of their heads. There were some sitting on the floor. Jimin scanned each and every one of them, hood pulled safely over his head as he recognised one or two. Syringes littered the space around them.
Seokjin wasn't on the ground floor. Jimin went up the stairs, terrifyingly aware of the space behind his back. The second-floor hallway was empty. Jimin walked down the hall and then remembered where Seokjin would be. Where he met him the first time. Jimin turned around and ran up two more flights of stairs, entering the room that he had spent far too long lying in.
He rushed into the room and saw two figures slouched against different walls. He ran to Seokjin and slid next to him. His arm was exposed and punctured. His face was pale and sunken. His eyes were closed but they were red and swollen from crying and his mouth was open in a perpetually silent moan. Jimin cried harder at the sight of him. He shook his shoulder gently, hoping against hope that he would wake up.
Seokjin's eyes flickered slightly and Jimin shook harder until they opened. He looked at Jimin and smiled weakly.
"You found me…" he croaked and Jimin smiled through his tears.
"Yeah. I found you, baby. Please, let's leave. Please, Seokjin, let's go." He wrapped his arm around Seokjin's torso and slowly, ever so slowly, helped him to his feet. He leaned heavily on Jimin, who didn't care one bit. The other figure stirred on the floor.
"He'll be back." The voice cut through the air and Jimin glared at the owner.
"He's never coming back here again. Not on my watch." Jimin helped Seokjin walk out of the room and step down three flights of stairs. It took a while, but Jimin stayed patient. Eventually, they made it to the front door. He opened it and stepped out of the building that had haunted him for so long. Taehyung, Jungkook and Yoongi were still on guard outside. Yoongi was flipping the knife in his hands, making the other two more comfortable that he knew how to use it. They looked up.
"Help," Jimin asked, beginning to struggle under the weight. Taehyung and Jungkook ran towards him and helped support him. Yoongi stayed, which was probably smart, given that he was holding a weapon. Taehyung and Jungkook stood either side of Seokjin, his arms around their shoulders and taking the weight off Jimin. He ran to Yoongi and took his knife back, burying it deep back in his pocket. He looked back to Seokjin, who was looking a little bit more conscious.
"Jimin…" he moaned and Jimin walked back to him, Taehyung and Jungkook walking him forwards slightly. Jimin made a mental note to thank them for everything later. He smiled up at Seokjin, tears of joy flowing down his face that he was safe. He kissed him softly, not caring that the other three were watching. He pulled back and hugged him tightly around his waist, not caring that he couldn't be hugged back.
"Jimin," Yoongi called, making Jimin let go. He had a phone in his hand. "It's Namjoon. He wants to know what's going on. What do I tell him?" Jimin just took the phone off him.
"There was a…" he cleared his throat, trying to stop his voice from cracking. He signalled to the others to start them walking back to the apartment. "There was an incident. I swear I'll explain it later but for now, he's safe and we need to just be thankful for that. I need you to get an ice pack, a blanket, some bandages just in case he scratches, and hot chocolate. Put it in his room. We'll be back in ten. Prepare for the worst," he added as an afterthought and hung up without another word. He gave Yoongi his phone back.
The rest of the walk back, he walked beside Jungkook and held Seokjin's hand. When they finally reached the lobby, they took the elevator up to the apartment. Yoongi opened the door to reveal a very worried Namjoon and a pacing Hoseok. They looked up, relieved, but they froze when they saw Seokjin.
"Jesus Christ," Hoseok whispered.
"I-I got everything you asked for," Namjoon stuttered. "Please tell me he's okay…" Jimin nodded,
"Yeah, I think so. Taehyung, Jungkook, could you lie him down in his room, please? I… I need a minute and then I'll check on him, okay?" The two nodded at the request and slowly made their way to his room and stayed there for a minute. When they came back, they were crying.
"Please, Jimin, what's going on?" Taehyung asked through tears. Jimin slumped down in a chair and sobbed heavily. The others let him. After an unidentifiable period of time, Jimin raised his head and dried his eyes. He took a few deep breaths to calm his aching heart.
"I-I don't know why he relapsed. We promised not to…" He saw the looks he got from the others and decided to start from the beginning.
"A while ago, I had a drug problem. A bad one that got way out of hand. It started a bit before we debuted but carried on for a long time after. I spent most of my time and money in that building under the guise that I was practising. One day, I ran into Seokjin. I thought he was there to get me and tell me off and I was terrified that he would tell everyone and get me kicked out. But… he had marks on his arms as I did. I realised he wasn't there to get me.
I confronted him after we calmed down because I knew I had to. We just talked and cried for a long time. We had only known each other for about six months but we made a deal to stop everything. If we needed support, we would turn to each other. If we couldn't handle it, we swore we'd tell so we wouldn't get lost again. We promised. He kept that promise for six years and he broke it. I just thank God he's okay."
The room was silent. Dead silent. For a while. Until Yoongi spoke.
"Can I ask something?" Jimin nodded. "You kissed." That was not a question but Jimin couldn't give less of a fuck. He smiled and the smile broke into a laugh.
"He saved me more times than I can count. We relied on each other completely for a full year while we recovered. I don't remember when we stopped being friends, but it just happened. We haven't really acknowledged it before and we don't consider ourselves a thing. We're just sort of silently dating. Like we were silently struggling before. The easiest way to break an addiction is to replace it with another. Mine just happened to be him and his just happened to be me."
Again, the room fell into silence.
"There are a lot of emotions right now and I don't know which one to focus on," Hoseok said.
"Agreed," concurred Jungkook. Jimin smiled. He couldn't ask for better friends than the five in front of him.
"You wanna go check on him?" Namjoon asked and Jimin nodded. He got up, went to Seokjin's room and shut the door behind him. Seokjin jumped at the sound and Jimin shushed him, kneeling next to the bed.
"It's okay, I'm here," he whispered.
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," mumbled Seokjin and Jimin smiled.
"It's okay, baby, you can tell me later. Does your arm hurt?" Seokjin shook his head. Of course it doesn't, he's basically on morphine, Jimin scolded himself. Even so, he placed the ice pack over the punctures and wrapped the bandage around it to stop him from scratching it in his sleep. He handed him the hot chocolate, which would be a good temperature to drink by this point. "Drink. It'll help for when you crash." Seokjin sat up and took a sip. He looked at Jimin carefully.
"Y-you're staying with me tonight, right?" Seokjin asked. Jimin beamed.
"Of course. I'm never losing you again."