Chapter Three
"What do you think is for dinner?"
"I'm not hungry, Emily," Nikki sighed as they made their way down the corridor having been called for supper by one of the nurses
"It better not be macaroni cheese. If I eat any more of it, I'll turn into it!"
"How can you think of food in this place?" Nikki grimaced
"If you don't eat they wont let you out," Emily warned
"You've been eating and you've been here for three months," Nikki said without thinking
"Ouch…"
"Sorry Emily. I didn't mean it like that. I didn't think,"
"S'alright," Emily said with a shrug and playfully bumped Nikki's shoulder to show she had accepted the apology
"I'm just frustrated," Nikki sighed "I've been stuck in here a week and not progressed more than the hospital grounds. I want to go home," she said, cursing that she sounded like a petulant child
"We all do," Emily said quietly "But it's just a waiting game. Well that makes it sound more passive than it actually is. You can help yourself by showing them that you're well and that means eating,"
"Jack says I'm not well," Nikki mused
"And what do you think?"
"I don't know," Nikki said quickly
"Then why are you here?" Emily asked directly, stopping in the corridor and looking up at Nikki
Nikki paused for a moment before answering "Something bad happened to me three months ago. I couldn't talk to anyone about it, not even Jack. Then something happened at work, an incident. Jack took me to Accident and Emergency. He told me he was worried about me, that he just wanted to help. But look how his help ended up. I'm stuck in this place, sectioned, held against my will," Nikki finished crossly and blushed when she realised how open she'd been
"Don't say sorry," Emily jumped in as Nikki opened her mouth to apologise "You don't have to apologise for having emotions and having a shit time,"
"Thanks Emily," Nikki smiled as they carried on walking
"How'd it go with Jack?" Emily asked, changing the subject as she noticed that Nikki felt vulnerable having opened up so much and so quickly
"Okay, I suppose," Nikki shrugged "He had to leave early and go to work," she said as they entered the dining room
"That sucks," Emily sympathised
"Did you get any visitors today?" Nikki asked
"No," Nikki saw a look pass across Emily's face, although it was quickly rearranged "What's the veggie option?" Emily asked as they approached the serving hatch
"Macaroni cheese,"
"Bollocks!"
….
Nikki sighed as she pressed her back into the wall. The coolness of the structure sank through her hoodie and into her skin, numbing her back. She picked up her phone and punched in a familiar string of numbers
"Nikki?" a voice answered
"Hi Jack," she said softly "I was…I was…" Nikki stumbled over her words
Why was she phoning Jack? Of all people he was the reason she was in here. He'd been the one to take her to Accident and Emergency. He'd been the one to request the Mental Health Act assessment. He'd been the one who agreed with the psychiatrist that she should be sectioned.
"Did you want to talk?" he coaxed gently and suddenly her anger ebbed a little and she made a small grunt of affirmation "How was dinner? Please tell me you ate something?"
"A little," she said
"Good," Jack aid firmly "You need your strength,"
"How was work?" Nikki asked, desperate for a distraction
"You don't need to hear about work. You need to focus on getting better,"
"I need to keep my mind busy," Nikki protested
"That's what got you in there in the first place," Jack sighed "Look I can bring you in some more stuff if you want but no work stuff. You know what Doctor Redford said,"
"But Jack-"
"No Nikki, listen. I almost lost you and I don't want to loose you again. We need you to get well, I need you to get well," Jack said and Nikki heard his voice slightly crack with emotion, although he quickly concealed it with a cough
"Jack, I'm-" Nikki said but was cut off by the nurse calling her for medication
"Look you go and get your meds," Jack told her "That's important. I'll bring you in some more books and clothes and whatever you want. Just text me. I'll be in tomorrow about ten and we'll go for a walk and talk some more then,"
"Fine," Nikki said curtly, feeling like a naughty child for the second time that day
"Good," Jack told her "I'll see you tomorrow,"
"Bye," Nikki said glumly as she heard Jack hang up the phone
She rested her head back against the wall and sighed. She had been looking forward to seeing Jack tomorrow but now she was anticipating and dreading it in equal measures. She didn't know how to act around him. One minute she hated him, the next minute she was desperate to hear his voice. Doctor Redford said that was a part of her illness.
It was an effect of the trauma.
Of Mexico…
"No," she said sternly to herself, bumping her head back against the wall. She would not think about that. It was buried in the past and that was where it would stay.
She would get out of here. She would go back to work and show them all, show Jack, just how strong she would be. She would tell Doctor Redford what for and get out of here.
"Nikki?" Anna called, drawing her out of her thoughts "Medication,"
"Coming," Nikki said, pulling herself to her feet
"Are you okay?" Anna asked looking concerned
"Fine," Nikki answered
She could convince them, all she had to do was convince herself.
Author's note: Thanks for the reviews :)