This was insanely cute to write ngl Namkook is my otp

(2nd Grade)

"Jungkook, your room is an absolute mess," were Namjoon's first words that morning. He had only gone into the younger's room to see if he had stolen his jacket, and was instead confronted with a barn house. There were clothes everywhere. Paper littered the floor for no reason; when did they ever need to write that much stuff down? There were empty and not empty packets of food, bowls of things and it made Namjoon feel extremely uneasy. So he went to the main room to confront him.

"Yeah? And? It's my room?" Jungkook responded. He could be such a brat sometimes. Namjoon rolled his eyes fondly and sighed so Jungkook could hear.

"Do you have plans today?" he asked and Jungkook instantly looked up, concerned.

"Are you gonna make me cancel them?" he questioned, sounding panicked. He looked so distraught that Namjoon couldn't help but smile at how cute that was.

"Actually, no. If you didn't have plans, I was going to make you get some. I'm going to clean your room; you'd do it badly." Jungkook instantly relaxed and went back to his phone.

"Oh, okay. Good luck, hyung," he drawled and Namjoon walked off, mumbling about the lack of appreciation in this house.

The first thing he did was collect all the bowls and plates and things from the floor and the desk. No wonder they had no crockery ever; it was all being hoarded in Jungkook's room. He threw away empty cans, ramen packets, chocolate wrappers, milk cartons until the bin was totally stuffed. Namjoon had no idea how hard Jungkook must have to work on his body to keep it that good if he ate all this junk.

An hour later, and Namjoon was getting somewhere. Jungkook had so many clothes and almost all of them were dirty and/or disgusting. He estimated that there were approximately three loads of washing on the floor alone. A lot of the paper was blank; some of it had rough sketches of random things on it; some had pretty good attempts at English handwriting. Namjoon couldn't help but feel a swell of pride at that.

An hour after that and most of the room was clear. He changed the sheets on the bed, as well as the pillow and duvet cases. He stacked everything in neat piles, put books back on shelves, collected pens. As Namjoon moved the chair back over to the desk, he found yet more money. He could swear Jungkook just threw this stuff around.

An hour after that, Namjoon was nearly done. He was about to go and find appreciation for his hard work when he remembered: under the bed. Cringing at the thought of such a dark, dank place, Namjoon got on his hands and knees.

More candy wrappers, more money, more pens, a deflated football (?), a box that Namjoon didn't touch for the sake of privacy. He sorted everything and took one last look to make sure it was tidy. It wasn't. There was a notebook or something that he hadn't seen before. He picked it up and was instantly curious. He felt bad for wanting to pry, but he had worked hard. Did he deserve to look?

Cautiously, as if it would set off an alarm, Namjoon opened it. It was entirely possible that it was just song lyrics or Japanese notes, but he somehow got the feeling that it wasn't just that. The first page was blank. As was the next. Namjoon flicked through, finding it empty. Until he found something else. In handwriting that didn't look entirely like Jungkook's was written,

Hey diary,

I've never had a journal or anything before but I've heard it's good to keep one. It helps you organise your thoughts or something. Suga-hyung told me that you should never start diaries at the start, so that people don't realise it's a diary but what if someone just flicks through? I'll just keep it secret so no one ever finds it.

This is my first entry, I guess? I don't really know what to write. I wonder if future me would ever read through and think about how small I seem compared to him. I wonder if future me will be bigger.

130716

A diary. Makes sense. The first couple of pages were still blank, but the rest of it looked pretty worn and used. Namjoon wasn't surprised. 130716. That was ages ago. Just after their debut and Jungkook kept the diary? Again, for the sake of privacy, Namjoon decided not to look any further. He went to put the diary back under the bed but something fell out.

It was a photocard of him. An old one. Dark & Wild if he remembered his own hair correctly. Confused as to why 17-year-old Jungkook had a photocard of him, he flipped it over. More of Jungkook's old writing said,

Rapmon-hyung came out really good in the photoshoot. Look at him. He's so pretty but also really, like, mysterious? There's something about him that just looks so good…

Namjoon smiled. Little Jungkook was so adorable. There was a date in the corner and Namjoon opened the book again to find the corresponding place for it. He flicked too far and was about to go back when something caught his eye.

I want to confess to Namjoon-hyung today. Or at least try. Let's face it, we've been here before. This is the third time I've said this, but I swear I'll do it today. I know I wrote that note for him last year; I still have it. And I said I'd do it two months ago when we released the album. But every time I get close to him, I can't breathe. He's. So. Hot. Like. How does he exist? He takes my breath away and I can't confess. I'll really try to do it today.

150923

This would be an excellent time to stop reading. Did Namjoon stop reading? No. No, he did not. He flicked a few pages forward.

Happy New Year! Good things are going to come out of this year, I just know it. Maybe I'll even confess to Namjoon-hyung this year. That's what I want to do in 2016. I'm still small but I know I can do it. I'm turning 19. That's so old. Well, I suppose Jin-hyung's 24. Admirable. Namjoon-hyung is 22. A beautiful age. Every age he is he's beautiful. I'll do it this year. Promise.

160101

This has turned into a diary for all the times I swear I'm going to tell Namjoon-hyung I like him. It's harder than it sounds, okay? I mean, what if he rejects me? That would ruin everything and I kind of don't want to do that 3 years into our career. I really want to tell him, though. I want to be brave.

160520

It's my birthday. He gave me such a nice present and I hugged him extra tight so he could feel how much he means to me. I really wanted to kiss him but what else is new? He's just so pretty all the time. Like, all the time. Even without makeup. He's way more handsome than Jin-hyung. I love him.

160901

Flustered but still insanely curious, Namjoon flicked to the last written page.

We're back here again. This has been going on for like 4 years and I'm exhausted. But I'm proud of myself. I haven't told anyone, not even Taehyungie-hyung. Do you know who else I haven't told? Namjoon-hyung. I really want to. I want to kiss him and cuddle him and do things that boyfriends do. I think about him all the time and every time we talk I just want to hang off him. Let everyone know I'm his. Because, even if he doesn't know it, I am.

190819

That was about a week ago. Thinking that this was all a bit much, Namjoon shut the book and put it on the desk neatly. He still had the photocard in his hand. Without really knowing why, he slid it into his pocket and left the room. Jungkook was lying on the couch on his phone, back from wherever he had gone.

"Jungkook, your room is now habitable," he called. Jungkook's eyes lit up and Namjoon didn't know if that was because he was thankful or because he had been spoken to. He had a few different opinions of Jungkook now. The maknae just smiled brightly.

"Thanks, hyung!" he chirped and ran into his room to inspect it. He passed Namjoon a little bit closer than he needed to. Namjoon scolded himself for overthinking. There was nothing different about Jungkook; he had always been the same. Smitten. This time, Namjoon actually slapped himself. There was nothing he could do except be normal. He couldn't push Jungkook into confessing, even if it had taken him four years already.

He sat on the couch, trying to distract himself with his phone, but to no avail. Out of everything he was feeling, it was mainly pride for Jungkook. Good on him for being able to keep this secret for such a long time. Jungkook's door opened.

"Hyung…?" he asked, sounding afraid and looking nervous. "You know that notebook on my desk?" he asked carefully. Namjoon hummed in confirmation. Jungkook didn't look any less apprehensive. "Did anything… fall out of it?" He swallowed. Namjoon just thought and then reached into his pocket, taking out the photocard and holding it up.

"This?" he offered, knowing full well that was exactly what he was looking for. Jungkook reached forward to take it, panicked, but Namjoon moved it out of reach. "No. Be brave, then you can have it," he told him. Jungkook stared at him but Namjoon kept his resolve.

"Hyung…" Jungkook pleaded quietly, so anxious and so frustrated. Namjoon just tilted his head. Not able to say anything else, Jungkook swept back to his room and shut the door. Feeling a little bit guilty, Namjoon put the card back in his pocket. He convinced himself that this would be good for Jungkook. He would have to be brave and face this.

Maybe not. Jungkook didn't resurface until dinner, during which he didn't say a word to Namjoon. He ate quickly and returned swiftly to his room. At least he had a clean space to be in now, Namjoon thought.

"Does anyone know what's up with Jungkook?" Seokjin asked, clearing the plates. Namjoon stayed guiltily silent.

"No, he was fine this morning," Jimin recalled. "Did something happen? He's really off." Taehyung stood up,

"I'll go talk to him," he offered but Namjoon sprang to his feet.

"No, it's okay, I'll do it. I'll tell you if something's seriously wrong," he said, despite knowing exactly what was wrong. Taehyung shrugged and let him go so Namjoon walked to Jungkook's room and shut the door behind him.

Jungkook was sat curled up on his bed, his face buried safely in his knees. He didn't look up at the sound of the door. His room looked almost untouched since Namjoon had tidied it and he wondered if this was all Jungkook had done for the whole day. Until he saw the diary on the floor on the other side of the room where, presumably, Jungkook had thrown it.

"Jungkook?" Namjoon tried. No response. "Talk to me, please?" Jungkook shook his head. It was difficult to believe he was twenty-two. Namjoon went to sit on the side of the bed and watched Jungkook shuffle away slightly. "I'm sorry, Jungkook." This worked. Jungkook's head rose and his slightly puffy eyes met Namjoon's for a split second.

"Why are you sorry?" he spat, "This is my fault." Namjoon smiled reassuringly and Jungkook did not return it.

"What on earth make you think this is your fault?" he posed and Jungkook rolled his eyes and crossed his legs.

"I'm the one who wrote the stupid diary. I'm the one who made you clean my room, I'm the one who made you find it and I'm the one who fucking fell in love with you. I don't know how you could possibly tell me that this isn't my fault." He stood up and walked towards the door. Namjoon didn't know where he was going to go but he couldn't let him leave. He grabbed his wrist and Jungkook threw him off. "Don't fucking touch me!" he said louder than necessary and Namjoon was concerned the others might hear.

"Why not?" he asked calmly and Jungkook took a step back.

"Did you not read my diary? Because it makes me breathless! Because it makes my heart race and my mouth go dry. I don't want to be here because I don't want that to happen every single fucking time you walk into the room. I can't do this right now." He turned away just as a tear dropped down his cheek but Namjoon took his arm again.

"No, Jungkook, you have to. You can't run away from this," he pleaded and Jungkook hit his hand away.

"Why, why not?" he asked defiantly. "All I'm doing is giving you more time to think about just what you're doing to me." He swiped at his eyes, trying to pretend he wasn't crying. Namjoon couldn't let that go.

"Jungkook, why are you crying?" he inquired slowly, trying to let Jungkook breathe. Jungkook just pulled at his hair and moved away again.

"Because you haven't rejected me yet! I know that that's what this conversation is leading up to and I know that's how this is going to end and I hate myself for still having hope when I know that it doesn't exist. It's just going to kill me more because you're still not rejecting me!" he let himself sob. Namjoon clenched his fists, not being able to handle this much emotion coming from Jungkook.

"Exactly. I haven't rejected you," he pointed out and Jungkook just looked at him.

"W-what?" he asked, startled. Namjoon breathed. Be brave and help him, his brain told him. So he stepped forwards, gently touched Jungkook's neck and kissed him. As carefully and as softly as he could. This was a way to fix a breaking Jungkook. He was also insanely pretty. That too. He pulled back slowly, the silence in the room so loud after the crying. Jungkook was frozen, staring at Namjoon in speechless awe, just like the first time.

"Jungkook, I…" he started, having no idea how to finish that sentence. Jungkook blinked.

"Hyung…" he whispered back. The mood had shifted; the tone was quieter. Jungkook wrapped his arms around Namjoon's waist and hugged him tightly. Namjoon knew that Jungkook could hear his heartbeat and he didn't care that it was so quick. He held Jungkook closely, trying to keep him just there, wondering if he could stay forever, if this moment could replay for eternity; a moment of peace against a background of defensive fights.

"Guys? You okay?" the voice came before the knock on the door. "We heard some… loud talking. Is everything under control?" It was Hoseok asking. Jungkook didn't let go of Namjoon but called back,

"Yeah. Yeah, we're good." Namjoon smiled and kissed the top of Jungkook's head, making him hum.

"Okay, as long as you're both okay," Hoseok said, the decreasing volume indicating his departure from the door. Jungkook looked up at Namjoon, his sparkly brown eyes making Namjoon never want to look at anything else.

"Hyung, can I…" he trailed off, shy. Namjoon beamed at him and pushed Jungkook's soft brown hair out of his face.

"Can you what, baby?" he asked softly. Jungkook hugged him again, tighter, like a child holding a stuffed toy.

"Can I keep you? Really?" he requested innocently, only a hint of fear in his voice betraying his anxiety.

"You can keep me for as long as you want, Kookie," Namjoon assured him and Jungkook giggled into his chest, his hands tracing small lines in Namjoon's back.

"I want you forever."