Chapter Nineteen

"Hey Nikki," Jack said as he took a seat in the corridor "Ready?"

"As I'll ever be,"

"Just remember, I'm here with you every step of the way," Jack said as he squeezed her hand

"Jack…" Nikki began but the door clicked open and Doctor Redford appeared

"Nicola," she said and both Nikki and Jack stood up "Please come in, both of you,"

They entered the office and took the spare chairs, opposite Doctor Redford's desk

"Well Nikki, I'm sure you are aware this is the day we review your section. So how do you feel now having been here for twenty-eight days,"

"It's given me time to think," Nikki said

"About what?"

"Mexico,"

"Yes, our psychologist Jessica said you'd spoken about that. Was it helpful?"

"It was hard,"

"But do you feel you've made progress?"

"I think so. I feel different. A bit broken, yes, but I feel I've made a breakthrough,"

"How so?"

"Because I could help Emily. Even when things were at their worst, I could still help someone. I could still be Doctor Alexander. That's why I went out to Mexico, to help my friend. That's why I'm a pathologist, because I can help people. It's what it means to be Nikki. That never left me, it just got lost somewhere,"

"And Jack, how do you see Nikki now?"

"You've been talking more. We've been talking more," Jack said

"Do you feel that Nikki has made progress here?"

Jack nodded "But not with your colouring books or board games. Nikki's turned a corner because despite all the death she's been around, she wants to live. She wants to help people, like she said. Nikki told me in Accident and Emergency that she wanted to get back to being Nikki, and sitting here, I see here. Yes, she's changed but who wouldn't after all she's been through,"

"Do you feel she's a risk?"

"No,"

"Do you feel she'd cope in the community?"

"With support, yes,"

"Well," Doctor Redford said "After hearing from both of you, I think I've made a decision,"

….

"Go away Nikki," Emily said, rolling herself over so Nikki couldn't see her face

"Emily…"

"I told you that you were going home. See I was right,"

"You were," Nikki nodded "I'm leaving tomorrow morning,"

"And I'll be by myself again," Emily said sadly

Nikki shook her head "No, because I'm going to come and visit you. Jack's going to come and visit you,"

"But I'm still stuck here," Emily said, sounding miserable

"It wont be forever,"

"It's been nearly four months and Doctor Redford has only just let me go out on pass to the grounds,"

"But that's progress,"

"I'm going to miss you Nikki," Emily sighed "But you did it,"

"I did what?"

"You solved the case, didn't you?" she asked "You found out who killed my Dad. That wasn't down to Jack or Clarissa or Timmy…"

"Thomas," Nikki corrected "They did the actual work though,"

"No," Emily shook her head "You did. You asked all those questions. The important questions. You found the key to the lock,"

"I'm just glad I could help, Emily,"

"You did. You cracked the case, just like in the books," Emily said

"That's what you need to do, Emily," Nikki said "Find your focus. Ignore those voices. They aren't your friends, I'm your friend and I'm telling you that you will get better. That you will go back into the community and read all the books you can carry,"

"I want to join a library when I get out of here,"

"That's a good goal to have," Nikki smiled "In the meantime, let's try and build your library up," she said turning back to her bed-space and picking up a couple of battered paperbacks

She passed them across to Emily who looked a bit confused "These are for you,"

"But they're yours,"

"Well then you can borrow them,"

Emily looked down at the titles:

Emma by Jane Austen

Jane Eyre by Charlotte Brontë

"I've not read these before,"

"Focus on your books, not the voices," Nikki said gently

"What if they get nicked in here?"

"Keep them close. Books are secret weapons after all," Nikki said "We read when we have no place to go,"

"You're wise Nikki,"

"So are you Emily,"

"Nicola," a voice called, and both turned to see Doctor Redford standing in the doorway "I've sent a prescription to pharmacy for your medication which will be ready tomorrow when you leave. It's been nice to meet you Nicola,"

"Her name is Nikki, not Nicola," Emily blurted out in a loud voice "And she's my friend,"

Doctor Redford gave Emily a stern look before leaving the dorm.

"Can I ask you something?" Emily said and Nikki nodded, "Can we play scrabble? Just one last time?"

"Of course Emily, of course,"