surprise! i missed yall ^-^ i may not be back for good but I'll try and write things when i have time :)

(Otherside - eaJ)

Are you sleeping alone? Cause if you are, I can meet you there
I'm sleeping alone and it's killing me anyway
I hate that you're gone and when I lie in the dark alone
I die a little every time I reach out and it's cold

Taehyung pushed the sheets off the bed for the hundredth time that night. Moonlight and streetlights streaked his room with grey, growing shadows along his wall that flickered and waved when a car passed or the wind pushed the tree outside his window. He stretched across his bed, knowing he couldn't get anywhere near comfortable enough to fall asleep tonight. It was too cold. The common sense that had been fighting him since midnight finally began to wane and Taehyung reached for his phone.

The light was bright against Taehyung's fatigued eyes as he tapped out a message. In his head, a constant battle of do it, don't, do it, don't, do it refused to silence, pulling him to breaking point between the two. But he was tired. And cold.

are you alone tonight?

As soon as he clicked send, regret washed over him and he dropped his phone to the floor. He ran his hands through his hair and buried his head in his pillow. Jungkook wouldn't answer him. Not tonight. His phone was probably off, he was probably asleep, he probably had a girl with him to keep his bed warm while Taehyung was lying wide awake and missing him. Too much. A deleted message looked even more desperate than the one he had sent, so he didn't bother.

He and Jungkook weren't exes. Nor were they friends-with-benefits or any other kind of friends for that matter. Taehyung's friends didn't know about Jungkook and Jungkook's friends probably knew nothing about Taehyung. It was chance that they had met for the first time on that sad, drunken night. It was also chance that they had met again for the same purpose. That's when they decided to exchange numbers. It was easier than going out and finding someone else every time one of them felt alone. That was all they were. They texted, they drank, they fucked, they didn't speak for weeks. That was how it should be.

So Taehyung shouldn't be missing him so much. No, he wasn't missing Jungkook. He was missing the warmth of having someone next to him. The comfort they brought. The toned arms and firm body that erased his insomnia and calmed his mind. The fluffy hair and bunny smile that- wait.

Taehyung heard his phone buzz and jolted upright. He sprang to pick it up and his heart stopped for a good few seconds.

Jungkook: come over

Taehyung, reminding himself how to breathe, got up and walked out of his room, just about remembering to pick up his jacket. They always met on the roof. Taehyung didn't know why. It was a good place to have a crisis, though. He started to run, attempting to warm himself up wishing he'd taken a better jacket. The lights of the city were too bright for his tired mind to perceive so he kept his head down.

He reached Jungkook's apartment building and sprinted up the steps. It was cold even inside, but the roof was colder. He opened the door and was hit with a wall of freezing air that made him shiver. Despite the temperature, he walked to the edge and looked out. The skyline, it was pretty. He sighed and watched his breath fade. It was moments like these that he started to question things. What the hell was he doing? It was 4 in the morning and he was standing on a rooftop that wasn't his waiting for someone he barely knew to hurry up and make him feel less alone. It felt ever so slightly pathetic.

But then someone clapped him on the back and Taehyung's thoughts disappeared. Jungkook was as poorly dressed as Taehyung was in his loose, grey t-shirt and sweats. His dark hair was tousled and tangled, leaving Taehyung to realise that he had literally just rolled out of bed. Well, not quite. In his hand, he held two bottles of soju, one of which he handed to Taehyung as he leaned next to him.

"Hey," he said, his voice almost lost in the biting wind. Taehyung took the bottle and opened it.

"Hey," he replied. They looked over the city in silence for a second, trying to process that they were really back here again. Taehyung wondered if Jungkook was feeling the same way as him.

"How are you?" Jungkook asked after taking a long drink. Taehyung picked at the label and shrugged.

"Not too bad," he responded. Jungkook laughed at this.

"There's gotta be a reason you texted me at half 3 in the morning," he pointed out. Taehyung chuckled, hating himself just a little.

"No. Just lonely, that's all," he answered, taking a sip. "What about you? You're the one who told me to come at half 3 in the morning," he countered. Jungkook smiled. In one slick movement, he jumped up onto the ledge and swung his legs over the side of the building, kicking at the bricks on the side.

"Same as you. Sick of being up here alone," he answered. He swung his legs back up and lay across the ledge in front of Taehyung, his shirt riding up to expose smooth, pale skin. One wrong move could send him over the edge to his death but he didn't look like he was very bothered. That's one of the things Taehyung liked about him. He was so beautifully uncaring. Taehyung smirked and leaned over him. Jungkook looked up, his eyes swirling with perfect darkness. "It's less lonely with you," he said quietly. That's all it took for Taehyung to lean down and kiss him gently.

Jungkook's lips were soft and welcoming as always. He smiled and placed his hand to the back of Taehyung's neck, pushing him closer and threading his fingers through his hair. God, Taehyung had missed that so much. He pulled back slightly, wondering if it was too early in the night to do this. Jungkook smiled at him.

"Wanna get smashed first?" he asked and Taehyung laughed.

"Sounds like a plan." Jungkook sat up and picked up his drink again. There was a long pause while they both took a long drink. Jungkook didn't put the bottle down so neither did Taehyung. They both kept drinking until each of their bottles were empty and they were both out of breath. Taehyung's throat stung. Jungkook looked dizzy. They both just laughed at each other. Taehyung had missed being this comfortable with someone.

They stayed on the rooftop for what felt like forever, just talking, complaining about and their jobs and their families and Taehyung managed to get a lot off his chest: his boss being a total bitch, his ex calling him for the hundredth time, his brother getting divorced. Jungkook's problems seemed pretty similar as well.

Taehyung listened with interest at first but quickly found himself getting distracted. It wasn't that he didn't care about Jungkook's problems; Jungkook just looked so damn pretty. The way his hair spiked up in all directions and ruffled slightly in the wind, the way his loose shirt hung off his slim frame, the way his hands fiddled with his ears occasionally. That's when Taehyung consciously realised that aw fuck, I really like him. That was never part of the plan. It was, in fact, a rather annoying development in this weird plotline he had somehow found himself in. But for tonight, he could deal with that.

"Jungkook," he interrupted Jungkook's sentence.

"I- yeah, what?" Jungkook asked, curious. Taehyung didn't say anything else. He just leaned over and kissed Jungkook softly, letting his instincts take over. To his relief, Jungkook went with it, gripping Taehyung's jacket to pull him closer. Taehyung had no fucking clue what he'd do tomorrow, waking up in Jungkook's bed, fully aware that he wanted more than this. Although, that sounded like a problem for future Taehyung. Present Taehyung was far more focused on Jungkook's lips against his, the hands dragging across his chest.

Taehyung opened his eyes to less light than he was expecting. The curtains in the room were drawn shut and all the lights were off. That was nice. Jungkook's arm was slung across his waist, keeping him still. He had one leg resting over Taehyung's, making it very difficult to think of an escape plan. Taehyung didn't want to make one anyway.

He was so content just lying here, watching Jungkook breathe slowly and peacefully. His fluffy brown hair was a tantalisingly static mess; Taehyung played with it gently. His skin was a little pale, but smooth and pretty against the dark bedsheets. His lips were a perfect pink and slightly swollen and Taehyung's mind flicked back to their taste, their texture. He missed it already.

Taehyung sighed, knowing that he was screwed. This was never going to end well. Feelings were never supposed to be part of this equation, but Taehyung couldn't help himself. Jungkook was gorgeous, he was intelligent, witty, cute, caring, trusting and amazing in bed. They say that nobody's perfect, but Jeon Jungkook was pretty damn close. Closer than anyone Taehyung had ever or would ever meet. Great.

Taehyung knew he had to get out. Staying here would only break his heart more. He kept allowing himself just a few more seconds, just another moment staring at Jungkook until he felt that he was significantly ingrained in his memory. Taehyung moved Jungkook's arm away and shuffled out of bed. As he stood up to find his clothes and just leave, he felt a hand on his wrist. He looked back and saw Jungkook's fingers curled around his arm, silently begging him to stay. And who was Taehyung to refuse that?

He slid back under the covers and Jungkook hummed contentedly. He linked their arms and nestled his head in Taehyung's chest. He was still asleep, probably didn't even remember that it was Taehyung. It had been late, they'd drank a lot; would Jungkook even remember that it had happened?

"It's you..." Jungkook whispered against Taehyung's shoulder. Taehyung didn't reply for fear of breaking him out of his dreams. "You stayed... I like it when you stay." Taehyung swallowed. Jungkook could be talking about anyone. He probably had a collection of lovers he could call and mess about with and he could be talking about any of them. "Did you stay cuz of me, Taehyung-ssi?" Jungkook slurred drowsily. Taehyung's heart rate skyrocketed. He kissed Jungkook softly on the head and said,

"Jungkook, I really should go." It hurt him so much to say that his tongue struggled to form the words. Instead of complying, however, Jungkook hugged his arm tighter.

"No... stay longer this time. Too cold without you. Too lonely."

"Look, Jungkook, I-"

"Stay for breakfast," he insisted, shocking Taehyung a little. "Then stay for lunch and then stay for dinner. Spend the night with me again, please," he trailed off and Taehyung sensed that he should reply, but he had no idea what to say.

"What are you saying?" he asked quietly. Jungkook opened his startlingly beautiful eyes.

"Just... stay. I can't stand it when I don't know where you are, who you're sleeping with. I didn't mean it to end up like this but I couldn't help it, I'm sorry. I feel so... empty without you and I just want you to stay with me, like this, for as long as I can have you." The confession left Taehyung breathless. Jungkook's fingers were anxiously tracing Taehyung's bicep, prompting him for a response that he couldn't form. He was silent for probably too long and Jungkook sighed. "Just five minutes then. That's all," he murmured, embarrassed. Taehyung managed to find his voice.

"Jungkook, look at me," he asked quietly and Jungkook hesitated before lifting his head slightly. As soon as he did, Taehyung kissed him on the lips again, relishing in the sensation. Jungkook let out a puff of surprised breath against Taehyung's mouth. He pulled back and looked at Taehyung, confused. Taehyung just smiled. "I'll stay for as long as you want," he clarified and the look of pure relief on Jungkook's face before he leaned in for another kiss was a look that Taehyung would remember for a long, long time.