Chapter Six: The Theft

The sun was setting red in the distance of the barren realm of the Diablo Desert. Within the comfort of their home, Yamcha and Puar relaxed after their battle. Puar poured Yamcha some tea she had made, which Yamcha sipped gratefully. When they had finished it, he set his cup down. 'Let's get going Puar; we can't let those two slip through our fingers.'

'Huh?' said Puar. 'But what about the girl Yamcha. Remember?'

Yamcha chuckled. 'Leave that to me; I've got a plan.'

He did not, as a point of fact, have a plan, but he could think on his feet.

Kakarot and Bulma were now taking cover in what shelter one of the many rock faces could provide. Without capsules or other technology, it fell to Kakarot to provide the meal. Having caught a number of rats, he was now cooking them over a fire he had started.

Bulma did not look enthusiastic about the meal. 'Kakarot, I can't eat rats!'

'Well then you'll just have to starve.' said Kakarot. 'Don't worry, after you waste away from hunger I'll continue the quest with the Dragon Radar myself. Your sacrifice will be remembered.'

'Like hell, you will!' snapped Bulma. 'The dragon radar is mine; you got that!'

'Sure, sure,' said Kakarot, 'whatever. Now do you want your rat on a stick or not?' He offered her one, and Bulma took it fearfully.

'Couldn't you have found some other type of animal?' she asked.

'It's a desert.' said Kakarot. 'Do you have any idea how much water larger animals need to survive? We're lucky we found even this much. Oh, and don't take more than a few sips of your waterskin, we'll need it later.' Then he began munching on his rat.

Bulma managed to restrain herself from eating for a few moments before hunger took over. She devoured it. The meat was grisly and unpleasant, and it was all she could do not to throw up as she wolfed it down. When she was done, she sipped from the water skin. Kakarot had gotten water from a cactus which he had punched a hole in with his power pole. Then she closed it, before setting it down.

Her clothes itched. She had been sweating all day. 'This isn't fair!' she screamed. 'It was supposed to just be a quick trip around the world before I got my wish! I wasn't supposed to be attacked by dinosaurs, ambushed by bandits, and forced to eat rat on a stick!'

'So does this mean you don't want your share-' began Kakarot.

'Hands off!' snapped Bulma, before devouring the other rat on a stick she had been given. Finally, she stared at the ground. 'Oh, if only we had dragged Oolong with us.'

'Oh come on, he was clearly useless.' said Kakarot. 'What could he have done to improve the situation?'

'Yeah,' she said sadly, 'I guess you are right.' She sighed. 'I hope I see Yamcha again. He was so shy and so handsome.'

'He tried to kill us.' said Kakarot before he thought better of it. 'Actually, I shouldn't complain, that was the most fun I'd had in years. So screw it, go ahead and daydream.'

'I need a change of clothes.' The first thing I'm going to do when I get home…' said Bulma. 'I'm going to take a year-long bath. What about you Kakarot?'

'Me?' he blinked. 'I've spent my whole life living in the wilds. This is home for me.'

The night came on in due time, and they went to sleep. As Kakarot kept watch outside, he noticed Bulma shivering in one corner of their cover. He only wished he had a cloak so he could throw it over her.

Meanwhile, Yamcha made his way through the desert, followed by Puar. At last, he came to the place where Kakarot and Bulma were hiding. 'Hmm, looks like they don't have any kind of transportation. What kind of moron travels in the desert without extra dino caps? Whatever, let's get to work.'

'But what about the girl?' asked Puar.

'Easy,' said Yamcha, 'all we have to do is lure her out of there for a few minutes. Then we sneak in and rob them blind.' He laughed out loud.

'Your starting to scare me.' noted Puar with a bit of sarcasm. 'Also, we'll never be able to lure out the girl without getting rid of the boy standing guard there.'

'Yeah,' said Yamcha, 'you're right.' He remained silent as he listened in.

Bulma was actually very pretty. The realization hit Kakarot quite suddenly, and he didn't know what to think of it. He'd been aware that she considered herself to be a great beauty, but he had no frame of reference for beauty. Even so, he found the way her blue hair fell around her face appealing somehow.

'Have you been watching me all night, kid?' asked Bulma from where she lay.

'Yes,' admitted Kakarot, 'you tend to get into trouble, so I thought it was a valid precaution.'

'Do you think we're safe here?' asked Bulma, as she rose up.

'I wouldn't worry,' said Kakarot, 'I can handle dumb animals. The worst that can happen is that a master martial artist will rob us and take our stuff. Although given that the only thing valuable we possess is the dragonballs that could be bad. Assuming they actually grant any wish you want when you gather them together, of course.'

She sat down across from him by the mouth of the cave. 'Yeah, I guess. Let's just try to gather all seven of them and then figure it out from there. There had better be a real dragon.'

Something occurred to Kakarot, a curiosity which would not leave him alone. 'Hey, Bulma, when you get the Dragon Balls, what are you planning to wish for?'

She looked at him and opened her mouth to speak. Then for some reason, she closed it. 'Tell you what, when we get the sixth dragon ball, I might tell you.'

'Sure, by all means, keep me in suspense.' said Kakarot.

Then he heard something, the sound of a vehicle heading across the desert. He drew his power pole and stepped forward. 'Bulma stay here. I'm going to go check something out.'

There was a definite silence amongst Yamcha and Puar. They watched Kakarot make his way into the darkness. When the coast was clear, Yamcha smiled.

'Artifacts that can grant any wish?' reflected Yamcha. 'If I could get those, I could wish away my fear of women!'

'But Yamcha,' said Puar, 'if you got them you could rule the world, and gain all the riches in it.'

Yamcha looked at her in annoyance as he stood. 'Come on, how long have you been with me?'

'It's been two years, one month, and three days,' said Puar.

'After all this time I thought you would have known me by now.' reflected Yamcha as he turned his back to her.

'I thought so too.' said Puar in disappointment.

'Well my furry friend you don't, I have no aspirations to rule the world.' he said. 'Understand?'

'I think I do.' said Puar.

'No, what I want is to get married.' said Yamcha. 'From now on we have only those Dragonballs in our sights. We'll get them, mark my words. Now let's get to work.'

Launch, a voluptuous blonde bombshell in a yellow tank top and shorts, was driving. She was driving at breakneck speed. In the middle of the night. And her car loaded with money. She had hit a string of banks and gotten filthy rich in the process. Now she was racing onwards to use her ill-gotten gains, home free. And then she saw a kid walk into the middle of the road. He looked about twelve, and despite herself, she hit the breaks.

No nonsense criminal she might have been, but running over a kid was bad form. He stood there in the headlights, a frown on his face and a toy staff in his hand. She got out the car, and stepped forward, leaving the door open. 'Alright you little punk, I don't know or care who you are, but scram! I've just finished the heist of the century. And unless you want to end up peppered with bullets, you'd better run back to mommy!'

The boy remained silent, looking her over. 'Your clothes. Give them to me.'

Launch had a very short temper and very little patience. 'I'll give you this, punk!' she snapped, before spraying him full of bullets with her glock.

The boy fell to the ground, riddled with bullets. Served the little punk right.

At that moment the wind kicked up and blew dirt into her nose. Launch sniffed, and then sneezed as her other side took over. Her hair turned blue, and Launch had no idea what she was doing here, or how it had happened.

'Oh my god,' she said 'did… did I do this?'

The boy rose up to his feet, eyes flaring red and Launch took a step back. Then the boy surged forward, and shoved her to the ground, hand around her neck and tightening. 'Give. Me. Your. Clothes.'

Terrified, Launch strained to answer. She couldn't get out the words. Her neck was released, and she gasped for air, scrambling back in fear. Then, as Kakarot watched, she began to pull off her clothes. Once she was standing in the middle of the desert in nothing but her underwear. Kakarot picked up the garments, walked over to the car and threw them in. He shut the door.

Then he picked the car up with his bare hands. 'By the way, I'm taking your car. Have fun walking back to civilization.'

Then he walked off.

Launch's blonde half was by nature the one who was unkind. However, her blue counterpart felt the need to borrow something from her. 'What a jerk.'

Kakarot had been gone for some time. The sound of gunfire had echoed distantly over the desert, but nothing else. Yamcha turned to Puar. 'Alright, that's long enough. Puar, I want you to change into the form of that boy and lure the girl outside.'

'Okay Yamcha,' said Puar, before transforming into a perfect likeness of Kakarot.

Puar made her way into the open and into the cave. There Bulma was waiting. 'Kakarot, your back. What were you gone for so long about?'

'Nothing too important,' said Puar, 'there is something I want to show you. Follow me.'

Bulma followed behind her out of sight. At once Yamcha crept up into the cave and made his way over to where she had left her pack. Kneeling down by it, he searched through the contents and, finding the Dragonballs. He put them into his sack. Then with that done, he turned and rushed out of the cave.

On and on they went until Bulma got sick and tired. 'Alright Kakarot, what is it you want to show me, and why are you acting so weird?'

'It's up here.' said Kakarot, before turning around and disappearing in a poof of smoke. In its place stood a blue cat. 'Tricked you good huh?'

'What?' said Bulma.

'I'm distracting you so that Yamcha can steal the dragonballs!' proclaimed Puar. 'See ya, sucker!' Then she transformed into a bat and flew away.

Bulma turned and raced back towards the cave. Yet when she found it, there was no one there. Racing up into the cave, she searched through the pack. Finally, she fell to her knees in despair. '…They're gone. They took our Dragonballs.'

Then the real Kakarot showed up at the cave mouth, as morning dawned. 'Hey Bulma, I got you the car and change of clothes you wanted. This way we should be able to get where we need to go in a few days instead of weeks or months.' He paused. 'Alright, what happened?'

'Yamcha took our dragonballs!' said Bulma as she stood up. 'That jerk I'll never forgive him!'

'Wait… Yamcha was here?!' said Kakarot. 'Why didn't you shout?!'

'I didn't know!' said Bulma. 'That little blue cat which follows him around made itself look just like you, and led me out into the open! While I was here, Yamcha stole our dragonballs! NOOO!' She shrieked, tearing at her hair. 'All that work, all that effort, and now it's all for nothing! I'll never be able to wish for the perfect boyfriend now!'

There was a long, long silence of the stunned variety.

'The perfect boyfriend?' asked Kakarot. 'You were going to travel across the world, searching for dragonballs. And you were going to wish for the perfect boyfriend?'

'Oh shut up Kakarot, as if you'd understand!' snapped Bulma.

'Try me.' he said.

'I graduated highschool by the time I was twelve!' snapped Bulma. 'I got my drivers license at fourteen! For my entire life, I've been way ahead of everyone around me. Everyone either shuns me out of jealousy or tries to suck up to me. If I ever went out with a guy, they would only go out with me because my father was rich. I don't know how to talk to people and… and…' She gripped her hands and began to cry. Tears streaming down her cheeks to hit the cave floor. She wiped them away with a tragic countenance. 'Nevermind, it doesn't matter now. We'll never be able to make a wish now.'

'Bulma, would it dry up the waterworks if I told you that this is barely even a setback?' asked Kakarot.

She stopped. '…Huh?'

'It doesn't matter who has five dragonballs and who has none right now.' said Kakarot. 'It matters who has all seven when the time comes to make a wish. Yamcha can't do a damn thing with his balls but hold on to them. And since they are so valuable, he'll have to keep them on him. So all we have to do is get at least one dragonball which he doesn't have, and sooner or later he'll have to come after us.

'At that point, we steal the dragonballs back, make some distance between them and us, and make our wish. I say our wish because we're in this together.' He walked to stand in front of her and offered her a hand. 'Now get on your feet partner, we've got work to do.'

She looked up at him, and their eyes met for longer than Kakarot was comfortable with. Then she took his hand and stood. 'Thanks, Kakarot.' she said 'You know, for a total weirdo, you aren't so bad sometimes.'

'Let's just get to the car.' said Kakarot.

They made their way out into the sunlight and got into the car. Bulma found the keys in the ignition and gunned the engine which whirred to life in a healthy roar. It intensified as they raced off across the sands to seek the sixth dragon ball. Whatever challenges were ahead, they would face them together.

'Kakarot,' said Bulma, glancing to the back seat, 'where did you get this car and why is it filled with cash?'

Right after Kakarot finished answering some extremely awkward questions.

Author's Note:

Holy crap, I updated. I'd just like to take a moment to apologize humbly for delaying this update by nearly a year. The problem was that I was drawing from the English Dub. And I couldn't find any episodes past number five in English. I guess they took them all down. in the end, I had to 'gasp' BUY THE DVDs! So yeah, hopefully, the next chapter will come by sooner.

Whatever the case, I'm quite proud of this chapter. I originally planned to skip this episode entirely, because Oolong isn't here to give them his car. However, there are a lot of important events that take place in episode six.

As for Bulma in this fic, I decided to do something new with her. See Bulma in the original story can keep her spoiled demeanor because she is never forced to mature. She has just enough contact with civilization so she can just keep whining. Without Oolong, she has to rely on Kakarot to catch and cook food for them.

I can't help but notice that Bulma doesn't seem to have much of a social life outside of the Z Fighters. I theorize that her brilliance caused her to be somewhat socially isolated. Anyone who dated her would have to put up with having a girlfriend way smarter than he was. This might have caused her to seek the Dragonballs as an outlet.

Also, am I the only one who thinks that Yamcha is a much better boyfriend than Bulma is a girlfriend? I am just saying.