Chapter 17: Milk Delivery

It was a crescent moon over the island that night. The palm trees swayed in a brisk breeze which flowed through their leafy boughs. Everyone except Kakarot and Chi Chi had spent the week recovering food poisoning. Kakarot and Chi Chi had amused themselves by exploring the island more completely. It was a task significantly aided by Chi Chi's Nimbus. Now, however, Master Roshi and Krillen were beginning to feel better. At last, they were ready to continue their training at dawn.

Roshi slept soundly, his snoring echoing somewhat before he was awakened by a strike to his side. He pulled himself up and removed his eye covers to see that Krillen had lashed out in his sleep. 'The poor kid hits harder in his sleep than he does in training,' reflected Roshi. Tomorrow he would start them on milk delivery.

Launch in the meantime noticed Chi Chi sleeping soundly. She put her covers over her, before smiling. 'I hope I don't sneeze in my sleep.' she reflected ruefully.

High above, a shooting star crossed the sky.

A rooster crowed, marking the rising of the sun. An alarm clock sounded throughout Kame House, bringing Roshi up to his feet. 'I never can get used to that alarm,' he reflected as he turned it off, 'Krillen, wake up. It's time to get started! Early bird and the worm… uh… you know the saying.'

Krillen awoke, rising up from the bed while wiping the sleep from his eyes. He had slept soundly that night. Very soundly, indeed. 'I don't even think the worms are awake yet.' reflected Krillen tiredly.

Roshi, in the meantime, had gotten dressed into his formal outfit. 'Nice try,' he said, 'now stop talking and start dressing. I'll go wake up Kakarot and Chi Chi.' He turned and made his way into the other room and scaled up the stairs. 'Why should they get to sleep with Launch while I'm down here with Krillen. If it weren't for those blasted mood swings of hers…'

He made his way into the room, quietly, taking a moment to admire the curves of Launch underneath the covers. Chi Chi was sleeping just a bit beyond. Kakarot was on the floor some distance away, clutching his power pole close by.

'It's tough to see such beauty wasted on the young.' reflected Roshi. 'I wonder what Launch wears when she sleeps. Only one way to find out…' He reached forward.

'I wouldn't,' said Kakarot's voice, 'she went blonde earlier tonight.'

Roshi had already pulled back the covers and saw Launch was indeed blonde. He stepped back, unwilling to be the one who interrupted her dream cycle. That would be a nightmare. He looked to Kakarot, who shrugged as he stood up.

Stepping forward, Roshi reached out with his cane and tapped Chi Chi twice on the shoulder. Chi Chi arose, rubbing her eyes and stretching. 'Good morning Master Roshi,' she said.

Roshi raised one finger to his lips for silence. 'Don't wake Launch!'

At that moment, Launch awoke and saw Kakarot and Roshi there. She then grabbed a machine gun out from under her pillow. 'What are you two doing in my room you perverts?'

Roshi was too terrified to answer, but Kakarot wasn't afraid of bullets. 'We both know you're going to try and shoot us now. Let's cut to the chase.'

'Good idea, you little hedgehog!' snarled Launch before opening fire.

Kakarot moved to the side, running along the walls and window as Launch machine-gunned holes in the walls. She shattered the windows. Then Kakarot kicked off the wall and kicked Launch in the gut, sending her crashing to the ground.

'Kakarot, you shouldn't play so rough with girls.' said Roshi.

'She's right, Kakarot,' said Chi Chi, 'it's not chivalrous.'

'This is the second time this woman has tried to machine-gun me.' said Kakarot in deadpan. 'Hey Launch, do you think this time worked out any better for you? I mean granted, you're not half-naked in the middle of a desert but-'

Launch pulled out a pistol, only to have it knocked away out the window by Kakarot's power pole.

'I just don't understand why you won't accept Master Roshi's training.' said Kakarot finally.

'Kakarot, what are you doing?' asked Roshi.

'You terrify the old man.' continued Kakarot. 'If you learned martial arts you'd probably be unstoppable. You'd be the most feared bandit ever to live. And if I'm wrong, you just go back to machine-gunning people.'

Blonde Launch remained silent for a long moment. 'What's the catch?'

'Your gonna have to put your guns away for a bit, and let Master Roshi teach you.' said Kakarot.

'Why should I put up with all that crap?' asked Launch. 'What's so great about martial arts.'

'Consider how I lifted your car.' said Kakarot. 'Now imagine you were picking up a policeman's car. Now imagine you were throwing it through a bank vaults door to clear your way to the spoils of your victory.'

Launch looked a little starry-eyed at the thought. She then turned around and grabbed Roshi by the collar. 'Alright you old bastard, you had better add me to the list of students, or I'll rip your heart out through your-'

'Okay, okay,' said Roshi, 'don't hurt me.'

And that was how Launch ended up in line alongside, Krillen, Kakarot, and Chi Chi. Though she looked put out about the whole thing. Then again, the blonde Launch always looked put out about something. It was her defining character trait.

'Today,' said Roshi, 'we begin our studies in martial arts together. Before we begin, there is something that you should know.'

'What is it?' snapped Launch, crossing her arms.

'You do not learn martial arts to pick fights or to impress girls. Or guys for that matter.' said Roshi. 'Do you understand what I am saying?'

They all nodded. Kakarot thought about all the people he could beat down with the skills he would pick up. Chi Chi fantasized about impressing Kakarot with her skill at arms. Launch thought about robbing trains with her bare hands. She reflected that she would still use a machine gun either way. Krillen imagined everyone admiring his skills.

Suffice to say; no one was taking that statement on Master Roshi's part seriously. Not in the least part because the old man did not practice what he preached.

'We must master the arts of peace before we can achieve victory in the art of war. Victory is won through strategy. Strategy is derived from the art of peace.'

This was ridiculous. He had kept them waiting all this time. Why couldn't he stop blustering and give them an assignment? Launch should have known this would turn out to be a bad joke.

'However,' continued Roshi, 'if somebody evil threatens you. Or if they threaten any other good innocent person with the threat of force, it is your duty to defend!' He punched the air for effect. 'Do you understand?'

'Yes.' said Krillen.

'Yes Master Roshi.' said Chi Chi.

'I think I get the gist.' said Launch, not looking him in the eye.

Kakarot remained silent for a long time. '…I don't get it.'

Master Roshi sighed. 'What I mean is that we learn how to fight so that we won't have to. We strive to maintain peace in the universe!'

'That sounds boring.' said Kakarot. 'But fine, I get it.'

'So, we're ready now for the turtle hermit training?' asked Roshi.

'Yes!' They said.

'Are you sure you can handle my rigorous training schedule?' asked Roshi.

'Yes.' They said in a resigned tone.

'…I can't help but detect a lack of enthusiasm here.' noted Roshi.

'Well it's just that you've been building up to this epic training so long.' said Kakarot. 'I don't see any way it's going to live up to the hype.'

'Prepare,' said Roshi, 'we'll warm up with a brief run. Follow me!'

The group ran down the hill towards a rode as the sun rose nearby them. They ran a long distance a brisk pace. Krillen thought to himself: 'I heard Master Roshi's training was tough, but I haven't even broken a sweat yet.'

Finally, they came to a milk factory where a humanoid goat was setting out many jars of milk. Master Roshi halted and raised his staff. 'Now halt.' he said, before approaching the goat. 'Good morning! I'm Master Roshi; I believe we spoke yesterday.'

'Ah, of course.' said the goat. 'I recognize your voice from the phone.'

'What's the deal with this?' asked Launch to one side.

'Oh, this is the part where Master Roshi lulls you into a false sense of security. He'll task you with a seemingly harmless burden which proves to be far greater than you expected.' said Chi Chi. 'You slave away with an apparently meaningless task for hour after hour. And in the end, you find that the task has taught you an important lesson and built up your strength.'

Everyone stared at her. 'What? My papa told me about the training.' said Chi Chi. 'Didn't your Master, Kakarot?'

'…Let's play along.' said Kakarot.

Meanwhile, Roshi was looking at a map alongside the goat. 'This is the delivery route I usually take.' said the goat. 'See.'

'Alright, alright,' said Roshi. 'I think I've got it.'

'That's a whole lot of milk they have stored.' reflected Krillin.

'Yes,' said Kakarot, 'yes it is.'

'Ready boys,' said Roshi, 'you can each take one of these crates to deliver across the countryside.'

'We're delivering milk?!' asked Krillen.

'It's going to be a lot harder than it looks.' said Chi Chi in a warning tone. 'Papa told me all about his training.'

'Chi Chi is right,' said Roshi, 'it's a good way to train our bodies.'

'Uh…' the goat paused, 'does that mean your all going on foot?'

'Mmmhmm,' said Roshi.

'But sir,' said the goat, 'I've got a h-helicopter.' He motioned to said helicopter.

'Flying in comfort would hardly be training, now would it?' asked Roshi.

'But every bottle has to be delivered by breakfast time.' said the goat.

'Don't worry my friend,' said Roshi. 'I'll have them moving like lightning.'

'I am not doing this.' said Blonde Launch.

'Do you want to suplex an armored car filled with money or not?' asked Kakarot as they moved forward.

'Fine.' snapped Launch. 'But this had better be worth it kid.'

They moved forward, and each picked up a box of milk. Krillen, however, seemed skeptical. 'Master Roshi, how can milk delivery be training?'

'You wait and see boy,' said Roshi before looking at the map, 'now let's see, why don't we take it easy for today. Let's skip the three miles to the first house.'

'T-three miles…' said Krillen, reality setting in.

'That'll be easy,' snapped Launch. 'I rob trains for a living. Milk delivery is nothing.'

It started out only a little difficult. That was the first one hundred feet. However, all too soon, their arms began to ache, and their hands began to hurt. By three hundred feet, they were already sick of it, but they pressed on.

'Skip, two, three, four, skip, two, three, four.' Krillen and Chi Chi chanted at Master Roshi's direction. Kakarot and Launch moved behind.

'Kid,' growled Launch, 'you had better be right about this.'

'Or what?' asked Kakarot. 'The only way you'll become a threat to me is if I am right, in which case I've got nothing to worry about.'

On and on, it went in the rising sun, and the milk became heavier and heavier as they walked. Every step seemed to take a lifetime. 'Master Roshi, how close are we?' asked Krillen.

'Don't worry Krillen,' said Roshi, 'only two and a half miles left to go.'

At last, they reached their destination and delivered two jars of milk. Then they halted and stayed where they were, panting. Roshi looked at them. 'Good, we're off to a good start. Now for the next two miles.'

'You mean, there is more?' asked Krillen.

'Of course, there is!' shouted Roshi before calming. 'Now, how about… we zigzag between the trees along this path.' He motioned to a path lined on either side by many trees.

Kakarot blinked. 'Uh… can we…'

'Are you ready? Go!' shouted Roshi.

Thus they began to zigzag between the trees. The result was that they moved at a far slower pace down the path. So they had to pick up their speed in the process. Their arms felt like jelly by now. Launch couldn't muster up the energy to complain, now set on accomplishing the task which she had been set.

Chi Chi fulfilled her task with boundless enthusiasm. Kakarot was behind her, not speaking, only obeying. Krillen and Launch, in the meantime, found themselves falling behind. Suddenly Krillen stopped and got a thoughtful expression on his face. The two of them shared a glance and then began to run straight along the path while Roshi's back was to them.

Roshi was there. 'Krillen! Launch!'

They halted by the unspoken authority he now held in his voice and froze in place.

'Start over.' he said.

They obeyed, racing back to start all over again. Even Launch did not have a retort or statement. Despite himself, Roshi smiled.

Exhausted, they reached their next stops and delivered the milk there as well. Krillen looked dead tired, and Kakarot and Chi Chi were only a little better. Launch looked the worst; however, her hair was a complete mess. Sweat was dripping down her frame, and she was visibly shaking.

'If you students don't move your legs faster, the milk is going to curdle.' said Roshi simply.

Suddenly Launch sneezed, and her blue-haired counterpart appeared. 'Oh dear, why am I carrying milk? And… why am I exhausted?'

'Your blonde self agreed to accept Master Roshi's training.' said Chi Chi. 'We need to deliver all the milk before it spoils. Just follow Master Roshi's orders and let's go.'

'Did I say that you could rest?!' shouted Roshi, and the four of them stood to attention. 'That's better,' he turned to a great stone staircase, 'you've all earned a break from running. We're going to climb a few stairs instead.' And he began to scale them.

As the others began to scale, Krillen breathed in relief. 'Finally, I can catch my breath and take it easy.' Then he looked up. And up. And up. The staircase led up the side of a mountain and was truly gigantic. 'A few steps! Ugh…'

Thus they began their climb, getting more tired as they went. Even so, they pushed through it. Roshi was at the lead. The Blue Haired Launch was struggling behind Chi Chi and Kakarot. While Krillen brought up the rear. He could have passed her, but he was afraid she might faint, and fall. So he stayed behind just in case he had to catch her.

'I may have been hasty when I said Master Roshi's training wasn't so tough.' reflected Krillen.

On and on they climbed, feeling tired and thirsty, and bored. It was exhausting, so exhausting that they couldn't think of anything to talk about. Yet it was also boring. Seconds dragged by like minutes as they went ever higher and higher on the stairs.

Roshi found himself getting far ahead of the others. He took a moment to smoke a pipe as he admired the view of nature from the clifftop. Soon enough, Chi Chi came up, with Kakarot some ways behind her. 'Master Roshi…' said Chi Chi, 'couldn't I go faster… with the Nimbus Cloud…'

'Would that challenge your abilities, Chi Chi?' inquired Roshi.

'No…' said Chi Chi. 'I'm sorry.'

'I am so sick of stairs.' said Kakarot as he reached the top.

Roshi blew a draft of smoke on his pipe and smiled at memories as he gazed over the island. 'Did you know that your Father, Chi Chi, and your Master, Kakarot, used to carry crates up these mountains all the time? And not once did they ever complain to me?'

'My master delivered milk here?' asked Kakarot, seemingly shocked at the thought. 'That doesn't… I can't imagine him ever being like me.' He looked down to the crate of milk. 'Let's keep moving Chi Chi; we've got milk to deliver.'

They then began to scale, while Roshi nodded to himself and waited for his other two students. 'Worked like a charm.'

Soon enough Krillen came up the stairs, looking exhausted. Roshi smiled at him. 'Good job; you're halfway there.'

Krillen sighed. 'Halfway there? I could have sworn I was at least three halfway there already… each step feels like my last.' Even so, he began to stagger up anyway.

Next came Launch, and she looked half-dead on her feet. At some point, she must have sneezed before she was blonde again and breathing heavily. How to motivate her? 'You know, you look tired.' said Roshi. 'Why don't you give up. Nobody would think less of you. After all, you're just a girl.'

'Don't patronize me you old bastard!' snapped Launch. 'I'll finish your damn milk runs, mark my words! You won't knock me out of the race!' And she began to scale up the stairs at such a pace that she began to gain on Krillen.

As he scaled up, Kakarot forced himself on, telling himself that he had to exceed his master. Otherwise, his mission to destroy this world would never succeed. Chi Chi reminded herself that she wanted her papa to be proud of her. She hated the very idea of returning in defeat. Krillen trudged dutifully on, without stopping though his every fiber hurt. He would not let Kakarot humiliate him again. Lastly came Launch, forcing herself through with sheer hatred and determination. She no longer held in her mind any dreams of destruction or a particular goal. All that mattered was that she prove Roshi wrong.

Finally, they put in the bottle of milk, and fell to the ground, dead on their knees. As they did so, a monk came out of the building. 'Good work, would you like a cup of milk friends?'

Kakarot looked up, too tired to be furious. '…Shut up.'

Roshi whacked him over the head. 'Be polite Kakarot.'

'Master Roshi,' said the Monk, 'it's been ages since you've trained.'

'Yes,' said Roshi, 'it has. It's nice to see you again.'

'Always nice to visit with old friends.' reflected the monk. 'How is the training of these students going?'

'It's too early to say, really.' said Roshi, 'But I think that they are showing great promise.'

Despite themselves, smiles came to the student's faces, though Launch quickly hid hers. 'Did you hear that?' said Krillen to Chi Chi, 'Great promise!' They clasped hands in triumph.

'If they get themselves in gear,' reflected Roshi, 'they will be ready for the world martial arts tournament.'

'Oh,' said the monk, 'that's only eight months from today.'

Krillen looked up. 'The world martial arts tournament?'

'What the hell is that?' asked Kakarot.

'Are you saying you've never heard of it?' asked Krillen incredulously.

'No, I mean yes.' said Kakarot, too tired for sarcasm. 'Yes, I have never heard of it.'

'That's where all the greatest fighters in the whole world meet up!' said Krillen. 'They compete with each other to determine who's the absolute best.'

'Sounds interesting,' said Kakarot.

'They only hold it once every five years! Only eight fighters are allowed to participate in the tournament. But hundreds of fighters show up for it to try and make it past the elimination round.'

'Sounds fun,' reflected Kakarot, 'I might get a good fight there.'

'I've heard that the competition is extremely difficult.' continued Krillen. 'And some battles really heat up.'

This was too perfect. If Kakarot won that tournament, he would know for certain that he was the strongest being alive. Then he would know to begin his destruction of this world. 'I think I'm going to enter.'

'Will we really be allowed to participate?' asked Krillen.

'Only if you boys train diligently.' said Roshi.

'Sounds like a good incentive.' said the monk.

'But,' said Roshi, 'you will not go in there with hopes of winning the tournament the first time you compete. To do so would be arrogant, and arrogance is for fools, not warriors. So you will enter the tournament with the sole purpose of improving your fighting skills.'

Kakarot considered his words carefully. Krillen spoke first. 'I can't wait, this is going to be so exciting!'

'And by then, I will be far more powerful than I am now.' said Kakarot in a low tone.

'Not unless you finish delivering the rest of the milk today.' said Roshi.

'Respect master Roshi.' said the monk.

'Yes sir!' the group said in unison, except for Launch.

'Can we just get this over with…' said Blonde Launch.

In the aftermath of his defeat by Nam, Yamcha had returned to the city with Bulma and there become rested. Afterward, Yamcha at once decided to hit up the local dojos in order to figure out where he stood. At least in comparison to the average fighter. So far, he stood pretty tall.

The dojo lay littered with unconscious bodies. Another martial artist was sent flying into a wall to slump limply to the ground. Yamcha took a stance, a smirk on his face. 'Next.'

Bulma watched from the window, standing on some boxes and cheering with Puar. 'Get him Yamcha! You can do it!'

Yamcha ducked a punch and used an elbow to KO another martial artist.

'Me next!' cried a giant. 'You think you can take me!' He struck at Yamcha, who ducked aside and dodged his every strike, backpedaling as he did so. Every attack his enemy made hit nothing but air. 'Why don't you stand still you little coward, and fight like a real man! Not tough enough, is that it?'

'That beast is going to beat Yamcha.' said Bulma fearfully.

'Don't worry,' said Puar. 'Yamcha already knocked out twenty of his friends. He can knock out one more.'

'Wolf fang fist!' said Yamcha.

'Wolf fang what?' said the giant.

Then Yamcha was upon him. His enemy lashed out with a leg. But Yamcha sprang up with massive speed and dealt him a single strike across the face. It sent him reeling.

'I knew Yamcha would win!' cried Puar. 'Just like he'll win at the world martial arts tournament!'

Bulma glanced down to her friend, unsure about that statement somehow. 'But Puar, shouldn't you be worried about Kakarot? He's somewhere training with Master Roshi.'

'He's not as strong as Yamcha!' proclaimed Puar defensively.

Yamcha looked disappointed, both in himself and his enemies. 'This won't do,' he said, 'the competitors in the world martial arts tournament will be much tougher than this dumb oaf.' He sighed. 'I've got to start taking things seriously if I'm going to stand a chance of beating Nam. Kakarot, please show up; I've got something I want to share with you.' Then, for Bulma's benefit, he took a stance.

'He's such as stud.' said Bulma in a dreamy tone.

Beside her, Puar sighed in resignation.

'Careful students, one foot in front of the other. Balance, balance!'

They were somewhat unsteady as they made their way onwards. The precious cargo in their hands was difficult to carry, but even so, they kept on moving forward. Krillen made the mistake of glancing down, to see the sheer drop far below them.

'Concentrate.' said Roshi, 'and no whining!'

The group was making their way across a narrow log, wedged between two cliff sides. It was neither fun nor a comforting experience. 'Breakfast time is almost here!' said Chi Chi in concern as they pressed on.

'Who cares about breakfast when you are falling to your death?' asked Krillen warily.

So it went on.

It was a tiresome task that they had to do, and when it was finally over, they rested in Kame House. Roshi looked at the exhausted group. 'Good job all of you, you'll deliver milk like this every day for the next eight months. That will be your early morning training.'

Everyone lay on the ground, panting for air. They lay still, wishing to die there and then. Even so, it was over. It was finally over.

'Now let's start the mid-morning training!' said Roshi.

Everyone groaned.

Authors Note:

Well, here we have chapter seventeen of Kakarot and the Quest for the Dragonballs. So Launch will be taking Master Roshi's training. Truth be told, that was a spur of the moment decision on my part. I have no idea where, if anywhere, it's going to go. But it might mean that Launch won't just disappear at the end of Dragonball. I'll try to keep that from happening, though I'm not sure where she'll fit in.