Chapter Twenty Three: Jackie Chun Vs. Giran

Nam awoke a few minutes before the match between Jackie Chun, and Giran was scheduled to take place. He said nothing, merely sat in a corner, his eyes distant as he gazed at nothing. Yamcha seemed like he wanted to say something, but didn't know how to say it. Jackie Chun stared long and hard at Nam as if he understood far more than he had been told.

The world martial arts tournament continued, even as the skies darkened overhead. Clouds swept in from the country, casting a great shadow over the arena. A storm was brewing, yet an angry sky did little to detract from the enthusiasm within the arena. The next match of the Tournament was moments away, and none of the spectators would miss it for the world.

'Now let's get the next match started,' said Mr. Announcer, 'without further ado, let me introduce the last two-quarter finalists! The winner of this match will go on to face Kakarot in the finals! Ladies and gentlemen, I give you, Jackie Chun and Giran!'

'Giran,' said Bulma 'I wonder who that is. Oh well, maybe this Jackie Chun guy will be really handsome.'

'But Yamcha is your boyfriend.' said Puar, voice chiding.

'Well yes,' said Bulma 'but that doesn't mean I can't look for an upgrade.'

Puar grumbled to herself. It was blatantly obvious that Bulma expected Yamcha to be totally faithful to her while having no such standard for herself. However, before she could say anything about it, Giran emerged onto the ring, his great feet shaking the ground as he emerged. He had wings like those of a dragon, and many sharp teeth. He roared to the audience in expectation of his triumph.

'So Giran is a monster,' said Puar, shaking slightly. 'I'm glad he can't cross the ring.'
At that moment Jackie Chun made his way out into the midsts of the ring. He was an elderly old geezer, clad all in black, and he flashed a peace sign to the crowd before getting into place facing Giran.

'That's Jackie Chun?' asked Bulma. 'But he's an old geezer…'

'Still looking for an upgrade?' asked Puar, privately thinking that Yamcha could do better.

'Now,' said Mr. Announcer, 'fighters ready?' asked Mr. Announcer.

They both took stances, preparing themselves for the upcoming match. There was a certain intensity behind their gazes as they faced each other down.

'Begin!'

At that moment, a drop of water landed on Mr. Announcer's sunglasses, and it began to rain, and moments later pour. The rain beat down upon the crowd, who shrieked and ran for cover. Within a scarce few moments, the ring had been cleared for everyone save Bulma and Puar who hid beneath the shelter of a tree. Lightning flashed across the sky, illuminating the dark.

'So what do you think?' asked Mr. Announcer of the Director.

'Woof.' said the Director.

'Ladies and gentlemen,' said the Announcer to the non-existent audience, 'the director has not postponed the fight as of yet. The match is still in progress!'

Utter silence from both combatants met his words. Jackie Chun and Giran stood motionless in silent challenge. Giran leered, while Jackie Chun held a contemplative silence.

'Wait a minute,' said the Announcer. 'I have a new ruling from the director. The match has been postponed, and will resume when there is a break in the weather!'

Utter silence.

'Apparently, the fighters didn't hear the announcement over the storm.' said Mr. Announcer in the pouring rain. 'Jackie Chun? Giran? Your match has been postponed until a later time.'

The rain did not let up even as the darkness of night fell across the land. Within a bar and restaurant, the gang met up around a round table in the corner. A jaunty piano tune played throughout the restaurant as they eat dinner together in relative silence. A motley assortment of patrons stood around at the tables, and at the bar were a group of yellow-clad monks. Eventually, when all their places had been cleared away, they stopped to just talk.

No one had anything to talk about. Bulma sighed and looked out the window.

'Well, I'm glad it started raining,' burst out Yamcha suddenly. 'I've got a bad feeling about that Giran guy, Kakarot. I don't think he deals from a straight deck. Jackie Chun had better keep his eyes on him.'

'…I'm not sure I'm familiar with that turn of phrase.' said Kakarot after a moment.

'He means Giran cheats, Kakarot.' said Bulma with a sigh.

'Uh-huh,' said Yamcha, 'that's what I heard some guys saying in the elimination round. If you end up fighting him in your the next match you'd better not let your guard down. I'd expect the unexpected if I were you. You're really strong, but it's not always the strongest one who wins.'

'Yeah… hic… rub my defeat in my face why don't ya?' snapped Launch from where she was busy getting dead drunk. 'Bartender, get me another glass!'

'Uh… don't you think you've had enough-' began the bartender.

A gun was pointed at the bartenders head. 'Get. Me. Another. Glass.'

'I'd save your breath,' said Kakarot casually. 'Giran will never be able to defeat Jackie Chun.'

'Why not?' asked Krillen.

'Because Jackie Chun is Master Roshi, obviously.' said Kakarot, giving him a look. 'How long is it going to take you guys to figure it out?'

'That aside,' said Yamcha, 'I saw Jackie Chun beat a guy in the ring during the elimination round. I was barely able to follow his technique. I wouldn't be surprised if Giran has bitten off more than he can chew.'

'Kakarot's delusions aside,' said Krillen. 'Master Roshi is not here. Where the heck did he run off to?'

'Oh come on, seriously?' asked Kakarot.

'For a second, I thought that was him there.' said Bulma, pointing to where Jackie Chun was nursing a drink.

'There is a resemblance, isn't there?' asked Yamcha.

'That's because it's him!' roared Kakarot 'Jackie Chun and Master Roshi are the same person! How can you be this dense?! The disguise is paper thin!'

Everyone pretended as though he had said nothing.

Suddenly there was a growling noise as a shadow appeared at the door. The piano stopped as Krillen sat straight up fearfully. 'Yikes, it's him!'

Lightning shattered the sky above, framing Giran's silhouette with blue light. He was clad in a black trench coat and wearing a broad-brimmed hat that dripped with rain as he entered, laughing to himself. He lumbered up to the bar and took a seat, his great tail sticking out behind him through his coat. 'Hey, got milk?'

The bartender stared dumbly. 'Eh…'

'Milk fool!' snarled Giran.

'Uh… milk, yes, of course!' said the bartender, picking up a cup and bottle. 'We've got milk coming right up, here it is!' He filled the glass to a little below the brim.

'Big monster wants milk,' said a yellow-clad monk with a scornful laugh, shared by his compatriots.

'What a wimp.' said another monk.

Giran drank his milk without comment, ignoring them.

At that moment another yellow-clad monk entered, putting away an umbrella. 'Hey, you guys, you started without me!' He ran to his friends and suddenly tripped over Giran's tail, falling forward to land with a crash. He got up, glaring at Giran. 'Hey you rhinoceros or whatever you are, watch that stupid tail of yours?' Giran continued to ignore him, and he stood up. 'Don't act like you didn't hear me! You creep!'

'Cool your jets,' said a shorter and older monk. 'this is one of the guys trying to fight in the semi-finals.'

'It's hard to believe just by looking at him, that's for sure.' said another, leaning against a counter.

'Yeah no kidding,' said the other, 'he must have gotten all the easy guys in the draw!'

'None of these guys could make it through the elimination round and their trying to pick a fight with someone who did?' asked Bulma.

'Didn't you used to train with these guys, Krillen?' asked Kakarot.

'Uh-huh,' said Krillen, 'the guys at my former temple are all morons.'

'It's a shame the tournament has come down to two kids, a guy old enough to be their grandfather, a common footpad, and a monster who likes milk!' said the monk.

'Yeah, this championship is a sham, I could beat them! Easy!' said another.

'…That's it,' said Kakarot, 'I'm gonna kill em all.'

'Chill Kakarot,' said Bulma, 'they're not worth the effort.'

Kakarot considered how much effort would be required to kill these guys. 'That's a microscopic amount of worth.'

Giran's tail suddenly lashed out, knocking the monks from their feet to land in a heap. One of them, however, managed to keep his feet. The monks arose and took stances surrounding Giran. 'Alright you big goon, you are asking for it!'

'Watch that tail, guys!' said another. 'It's lightning fast!'

'There's only one tail, and there's four of us!' said another. 'I like these odds!' Then he charged forward and brought round a karate chop, which Giran moved aside from with a nonchalant dodge.

'That's pretty good,' said Giran, having finished his milk. 'You know I think I kind of like you. I think I'm going to kill you last.'

'What?' said the monk.

'You, bartender!' barked Giran.

'Huh?'

'Fill me up! Pour the milk now!'

The bartender panicked and began to pour milk. Even as he began to pour, however, Giran whirled round, his trench coat flowing about him. There was a flurry of giant fists, and all four monks went flying away. One was cast out through the wall into the rain, others into various surrounding tables to land prone on the ground. One of them managed almost to launch an assault before he was effortlessly batted away. The Bartender finished pouring Giran his milk.

'Did you see that!' said Puar.

'Y-yeah,' said Krillen 'he's strong.'

'Alright, I'll admit.' said Kakarot 'That was very impressive.'

Giran gulped the milk down with one swig. Then he made his way forward, looming over one of the monks with murder in his eyes. Bringing down one foot, he moved to crush his defeated enemies skull.

'Knock it off!' snapped Yamcha as he stood up.

Giran glanced to where the former bandit was approaching, perplexed.

'I think they got the message,' said Yamcha 'now back off, enough is enough!'

'Who the HFIL are you?' asked Giran.

'Yamcha…' said Bulma with dreamy eyes from the table.

'Oh no, it's happening,' said Giran 'the rash…' He began to rub at himself. 'Oh, man that itches. This fake rash never fails, fake heroes, pretenders, they make me break out! Ouch, oh, stop it, please! You're killing me!'

Yamcha narrowed his eyes and turned away. 'Very funny.' Then he began to walk away.

'Wait, don't go!' said Giran, before bringing round a vicious right hook.

Yamcha somersaulted aside with ease and landed on his feet facing Giran. 'Hey, what's the deal pal?!'

'This is going to be good.' said Kakarot.

'My rash is very rare,' said Giran. 'The only cure is to stamp out the pretender causing it!' People began to abandon their tables, as Giran loomed closer over Yamcha, who took several steps back for space. 'Come here, Mr. Handsome hero! Take care of the big bad monster!'

Yamcha took a stance quickly. Giran tossed aside his trench coat, before launching a flurry of punches which Yamcha sidestepped. Then Yamcha leaped over a kick and launched an assault of his own. Bringing round one leg, he hit Giran in the head before he could block. Giran reeled and was sent tumbling head over heels to crash out into the rain, as Yamcha landed.

'Alright, Yamcha!' cried Bulma. 'Go get him!'

At that moment, Giran arose once more and entered the restaurant, looking absolutely furious. 'I'm going to crush you for that, you punk.'

'You're welcome to try,' said Yamcha taking a stance.

The two were about to charge at each other again when a voice called out. 'Stop it!'

It was Jackie Chun. 'Don't you realize this is against the rules? Fighting outside the arena is a serious infraction that will get you both kicked out of the tournament!'

'I don't care about the stinking rules, gramps.' said Giran.

'I guess you don't care about the prize money either.' reflected Jackie Chun.

'Huh?' asked Giran.

'If you beat the kid now you get nothing.' explained Jackie Chun simply. 'If you beat me in the arena, you're well on your way to becoming rich, and you may get your match anyway. It's your choice, friend.'

'Uh… yeah, money is good.' said Giran after a moment, before glancing to Yamcha. 'I'll see you in the finals, instead of here. You got lucky.'

'We'll just see about that, won't we?' asked Yamcha in turn.

'Dream on, Mr. Hero.' said Giran, before lumbering away.

Kakarot made his way over to Yamcha. 'So yeah, nice work.'

'Thanks,' said Yamcha 'I guess all this training paid off.'

Bulma made her way over to the bartender and quickly wrote out a check. 'We're sorry about the mess. Here is compensation.'

'I can't believe they let monsters like that into the tournament.' said a member of the crowd.

Yamcha glanced to Jackie Chun. 'If I were you, I'd be careful in your next match.'

'Kid,' said Jackie Chun, 'I promise you this: If you make it to the finals, you won't be seeing him there.' He said it with a resigned and quiet appearance which made Yamcha realize that it was nothing less than fact.

When morning came, the monks seemed to have learned their lesson.

'Ugh… remind me never to attack any ten-foot monsters again.' said one of them as they made their way out.

'Yeah, me too…' said another, falling over in the process.

'Why won't the world stop spinning?' asked Blue Launch. 'I hate it when my other self-visits bars...'

By the time of the next day, the rain had cleared up completely and the fighters were ready to start fresh. The sun was high and bright above them, beaming down on the ring as the gong sounded.

The Announcer stepped up to cheering crowds. 'Alright, alright, alright, yeah! And now, introducing for the second time, the last two-quarter finalists, Jackie Chun, and Giran!'

Once again, Giran came forward and roared even louder than before, his voice echoing throughout the city. Then nothing.

'Uh… Jackie Chun?' asked Mr. Announcer. 'Jackie Chun we really need you to come out here.'

Then Jackie Chun came out, looking quite casual. 'Giran over there has this old coot scared witless!' Then he flashed a peace sign.

'He's mocking me,' thought Giran.

Jackie Chun took his place in opposition to Giran, calm and casual, looking more than just confident. Relaxed would be a better term for it, and the crowds went wild.

'I'm going to pound you into the dirt, you old geezer.' snapped Giran in a fury.

'I'm sorry, what's that I didn't hear you?' said Jackie Chun, clearing his ears with a finger. 'I'm an old man, you know.'

Then Giran rushed him swinging his fist down. Jackie Chun did not visibly dodge, he was there one minute, and he was gone the next. Giran halted and turned to see Jackie standing at the far end of the ring, quite calm. Giran roared and charged him outright, swinging a flurry of strikes at Jackie, but each time Jackie would be out of the way long before they came close to falling.

Finally, Jackie Chun disappeared entirely, and Giran stared in shock. 'What? He's gone! This just isn't possible! Where did he go!'

The crowd murmured amongst themselves, as Jackie Chun walked up quietly behind Giran and tapped him on the shoulder. The monster beast panicked and whirled around. As he did, he nearly lost his balance and fell out of the ring. Jackie Chun waited for him to recover quite politely, tapping his foot impatiently.

'Stand still, you old bastard!' roared Giran as he threw himself at Jackie Chun in a full body slam.

He ended up crashing his face into the tiles with a crash, while Jackie Chun stood a little ways away, yawning visibly. 'That time, you came within a mile of touching me.'

Giran roared skyward and charged him, unleashing a flurry of punches that didn't even come within a foot of reaching their target. He bit, and slashed and kicked, and smashed with his tail, but nothing he did worked. Finally, Jackie Chun appeared on top of his head. Giran reached up to grab him, but Jackie Chun had already moved away.

'You've got a lot of power behind your punches,' said Jackie, 'but strength isn't everything.' Then he raised one hand. 'Now enjoy this refreshing winter breeze!' He punched the air.

And just like that, a massive wind kicked up, catching Giran in its pull as it sent him flying out of the ring, past the audience and into the sky. Jackie Chun stood resolute. 'That's my move. Wasn't it cool, hehe, cool, it's a joke, you see and… hmm.'

The Announcer recovered from his shock. 'Incredible! After effortlessly dodging every move Giran has thrown, Jackie Chun has sent him into the next town without laying a finger on him! It looks like he's won, what a stunning display of skill!'

In the sky above, the figure of Giran righted itself and spread its wings as Giran flew back to the ring and touched down with an air of smugness. 'Too bad, old man! Guess I forgot to mention I can fly!'

'This is hard to believe!' said Mr. Announcer. 'After being thrown a hundred yards out of the arena, Giran has flown back in! And since no part of his body actually touched the ground, the match is still on!'

'Wonderful,' said Jackie Chun, 'now I'll need a new one-liner.'

At that moment Giran opened his mouth and shot forth a beam of light which wrapped itself around Jackie's arms, pinning them in place. Jackie Chun looked down as the light materialized into a sort of violet gum. 'Oh no, I can't move.' said Jackie Chun in a deadpan voice. 'Whatever will I do?'

'How do you like Giran's merry go round gum?' asked Giran in amusement.

'I think it could use a better name.' reflected Jackie Chun, looking up to the sky. 'Giran's steel grip gum? Giran's unbreakable gum? Giran's ineffectual gum.' He glanced up to Mr. Announcer. 'Hey, isn't this against the rules? Using any kind of outside tool is against regulations.'

'Uh… well…' began Mr. Announcer.

'It's not an outside tool,' said Giran, 'the merry-go-round gum is from inside my body, so it's fair.'

'Oh fine, so you aren't getting disqualified.' said Jackie Chun with a sigh. 'I suppose I'll just have to get this stuff off me then.'

'You can struggle all you want old man!' Boasted Giran 'It'll only make it get tighter! Face it, you're stuck, right where I want-'

Jackie Chun broke the gum. It didn't even look like he had to strain. It just shattered, and the old martial artist clenched his hands, then opened them. Giran's mouth remained open for a moment, before widening a bit, then shutting closed like a bear trap. Jackie Chun looked at Giran hard. 'Would you like to give in now? Or shall I throw a punch?'

Giran raised the white flag. 'Wait, no need for that, I give up! I give up!'

'Amazing!' said Mr. Announcer. 'Giran's throwing in the towel! He's quitting the match! This is a first in the history of the World Martial Arts Tournament! Which makes Jackie Chun the winner! Jackie Chun is going to the semi-finals! Spectacular!'

'Well that was somewhat anticlimactic,' said Kakarot ruefully.

'Yeah I know,' said Krillen. 'I mean we started out with three really intense matches, and then this Jackie Chun guy whips Giran like it was nothing. I'm kind of glad I don't have to fight that guy, actually.'

'I know what you mean.' reflected Yamcha.

'I'm looking forward to it, personally.' said Kakarot. 'It will be an entertaining match to face my mentor in battle.'

'But I thought you were trained by Master Roshi?' asked Yamcha, blinking in surprise.

'Et tu, Yamcha?' asked Kakarot in despair.

It was at that moment that Nam reappeared, looking somewhat mournful. He approached Kakarot, who turned to face him. For a long moment, they held each other gaze in silence, and then Nam offered Kakarot a hand. 'Good match. This was a fight I will not soon forget. It was an honor having an opponent like you.'

Kakarot took it, smiling slightly. 'Likewise, you put up a hell of a fight.'

Nam smiled sadly, then turned to walk away.

'Aren't you going to stay and watch the rest of the tournament?' asked Yamcha.

'Unfortunately no,' said Nam 'I must return to my people and find another solution to our water problem.'

'Uh… don't leave just yet, okay.' said Yamcha, moving forward to stand in his way. 'Look, I've still got a decent chance at winning this thing. If I win the prize money, I can give you enough for your village to get by. It's a long shot, but it can't hurt to stick around, at least until I'm knocked out.'

Nam looked at him in a new light. '…I thank you Yamcha,' he said 'you are a true friend.

Hey it's no problem,' said Yamcha 'I can probably just win some smaller time tournaments to make up the difference or something, I guess. Besides, I don't really need the zeni.'

It looks like Nam still has a chance, and the semifinals await. Yet how will things turn out? Find out next time, on Kakarot and the Quest for the Dragonballs!

Authors Note:

It was a bit of a shorter chapter this time, probably because Giran is more or less a villain of the week. Not much content, though the milk glass scene is pretty awesome.

So yeah, this fight was more or less a foregone conclusion. I don't think anybody will be losing any bets in regards to the outcome of this match. One of the little changes which I have thus far greatly enjoyed is Yamcha's friendship with Nam. It was never part of the original script, but I find it one of the more endearing character relationships.

Also, in regards to why Jackie Chun acted differently, the reason lies in the difference between Yamcha and Giran. Yamcha has a bit of an ego, but he's overall good-hearted, and he is a legitimately talented martial artist. In sharp contrast, Giran is a bully and a thug and relies more on dirty tricks and his own overpowered physical ability than any real skill.

Consequently, Jackie Chun went for a more humiliating defeat.