Chapter Twenty Four: HFIL hath no fury
In the aftermath of the quarterfinals, a great chart which had been set out to post the fighting order was updated with the stroke of a brush. At the same time, Mr Announcer brought out Launch, Kakarot, Chi Chi and Krillen to stand before the crowd in the lull between fights. 'And that's how it all shakes down folks. Chi Chi will fight Yamcha, and Kakarot will fight Jackie Chun in the semifinals. But what's really stunning is the sheer strength and endurance some of the finalists have demonstrated in the ring.' He motioned to them. 'Take a look at half our finalists, its phenomenal they are all wearing the same outfit. What's that mean, we're about to find out?'
Bulma, however, was more than a little worried. 'I can't believe that Kakarot's tail grew back, you guys. This could be a serious problem!'
'No kidding,' said Puar 'imagine the damage he could do if he transformed in the middle of a city like this! If he turns into an ape, the whole world could be doomed.'
Kakarot's tail began to twitch absently as he looked around at the people around him. Krillen couldn't keep his eyes off of it, actually. 'Uh… you've got a tail on your back?'
'Yes, what of it?' asked Kakarot. 'That's where tails grow.'
'Let me congratulate all four of you for making it this far,' said Mr. Announcer 'you four have such talent. And, with one exception, at such a tender age. It doesn't seem possible, does it? So tell me Krillen, I heard that you are thirteen years old. How old are the rest of you?'
'Seventeen,' said Launch 'I learned to shoot when I was a kid, robbed my first bank at twelve, and I've been a professional ever since.' She sneezed, and her blue self-appeared. 'I enjoy cooking, cleaning, and waking up to find that my blonde self hasn't done something horrid.'
'…Right, of course.' said Mr. Announcer. 'And what about you Chi Chi?'
'I'm twelve.' said the Ox Princess, blushing at the attention.
'And what about you Kakarot?' asked Mr. Announcer.
Kakarot looked at the mike. 'This is the magical device you use to extend your voice across the crowd, is it not?'
'Its a mike you idiot.' said Krillen.
'A mikeyu is what it is called then? Fascinating.' said Kakarot.
Mr. Announcer pulled the mike back as laughter spread through the crowd. 'A joke, yes, what funny little guys.'
'Don't embarrass us with your superstitions.' said Krillen 'Just answer the question.'
'Oh right the question,' said Kakarot, counting down on his fingers. 'I am twelve years old, I believe.'
'What?' said Krillen 'Wait a second, Kakarot, I thought you were older than me!'
'I'm well aware,' said Kakarot 'I thought the same. Then Launch taught me how to count past ten with my fingers. Turns out twelve comes before thirteen. Who knew.'
'Everyone.' said Launch.

'Twelve huh?' said Bulma in surprise as she crossed her arms. 'I always figured he was a lot closer to my age than that. Well, it just goes to show you, you think you know somebody…' Bulma suddenly wondered what Kakarot would look like when he was grown up. Maybe he would be cute. She shoved the question aside as one for later.'

'So you are twelve,' said Krillen 'and you have a tail. That's pretty weird man.'
'Your one talk, Mr. Shiny Head.' shot back Kakarot. 'And anyway what so great about conforming to peoples expectations. The average person is a miserable, cow-eyed, pathetic weakling who expects everyone to be just as vapid and idiotic as they are! Fools! The day of judgment will come swiftly and without warning, and when it does, all your cities and luxuries will not avail you against the coming malice!'
There was a long awkward silence.
'Kakarot… uh…' Krillen paused. 'You were speaking into the mike.'
The monkey tailed boy stared at him without comprehension. Finally, he sighed. '…Present company excluded of course.' said Kakarot. 'Your interest in martial arts could be considered a redeeming quality.'
Mr. Announcer evidently decided that they had better just move on. 'Be that as it may, you four should all be very proud of what you've accomplished. Kakarot, I must say it is a bit unusual that you have a tail. How did that come about?'
'See,' said Krillen 'told ya. That tail isn't exactly normal you know. In fact, I've never heard of a person who had one!'
'What about Monster Beast Giran?' asked Chi Chi.
'I…' Krillen paused. 'Shut up. I'm older than you. Is it real?'
Kakarot remained silent for a moment, looking annoyed. 'How about I just show you.' Then he bashed Krillen across the face with his tail, sending the other boy reeling back into a pillar. 'Does that answer your question?'
'Kakarot, what's the big idea?' snapped Krillen, clutching his head.
'Now now boys,' said Mr. Announcer 'let's save the fighting for the ring.'
'We're in the ring.' said Chi Chi.
'Let's save the fighting for the matches,' Mr. Announcer corrected himself. 'it would be a shame if one of you were to get disqualified in an interview. Let's stick to answering questions verbally shall we?' They nodded. 'Now then, you all obviously know each other, so you must train together. Can you tell us a little bit about your master?' He offered the mike to Krillen.
'We do regular stuff,' said Krillen 'like farming and delivering milk. And since Master Roshi trains us, we wear big shells.'
There was a stunned silence, as the expressions of both the crowd and Mr. Announcer became filled with awe. 'Did you say… Master Roshi?!' asked Mr. Announcer.
'Oh man, no wonder…' said a man in the audience.
'Yeah, that explains everything.' said another.
'Wow! This is unbelievable!' said Mr. Announcer 'You mean that you guys are pupils of Master Roshi?'
'Yep,' said Krillen 'first he told us he wasn't accepting any new pupils. But he took us.'
'This is astounding!' said Mr. Announcer as he turned to the crowd. 'Master Roshi is the greatest martial arts expert in the world! What a treat having two of his students here today! The turtle hermits fighting style is legendary and as old as he must be, it's amazing he's still alive!'

Jackie Chun fell over and landed with a crash. It sometimes set in for him just how old he was, and he rose up in irritation at the fact. He sensed Yamcha coming up behind him before he heard him. The boy had an amazing ability to walk quietly when he set his mind to it. And here came the question. 'Excuse me, have you seen Master Roshi?' Yamcha asked, voice suspicious.
'Afraid not,' said Jackie Chun.

'Is that so?' asked Yamcha. 'Have you looked in a mirror lately?'

'What?' How much did this kid know?
'Look, there is only one many your age who could make it into the semifinals.' said Yamcha 'And when you showed up, he disappeared. It just seems a little odd, is all. And you certainly have a resemblance.'
'Is that what you think?' asked Jackie Chun. 'Well, then I'll tell you the truth. I am…' He considered how reliable Yamcha was. 'Jackie Chun.'

Yamcha looked at him. '...If you say so.' he said before falling silent.

Roshi still had it.

Meanwhile, Mr. Announcer turned to Chi Chi. 'Chi Chi, your match is coming up in a few minutes, what do you think of your opponent, Yamcha?'
Chi Chi looked up and then looked down at the ring. She clenched two fists and stared down at the floor. Her gaze might have drilled to the center of the earth. Terrible darkness now surrounded her, as she shuddered in silent fury, her teeth gritted, and all that beheld her stepped back in amazement and fear.
'Er… that's all right,' said Mr. Announcer 'you don't have to answer if you don't want to.'
'I can make a comment if you like,' said Kakarot 'I'm a friend of Yamcha's.'
'Oh right,' said Mr. Announcer, before offering him the mike. 'So what do you think of Chi Chi's chances. Chi Chi is a student of Master Roshi's, so is this going to be an easy match for her.'
'Based on what I've seen so far,' said Kakarot 'I think its fifty-fifty. Maybe sixty forty-one way or another to account for hidden powers. I'd say that Chi Chi had better take this seriously, or risk losing…' He looked to Chi Chi, who had a positive aura about her. 'But I don't think we need to worry about that right now.'
'Uh… yes I suppose so.' said Mr. Announcer, wiping away a bead of sweat.

'Any advice for my next match.' asked Yamcha suddenly.
There was a thoughtful pause Jackie Chun mulled it over, considering the possibility that he would face this young martial artist in the final match. 'Well,' said Jackie Chun finally. 'you might win if you get lucky.'
'And what is that supposed to mean?!' asked Yamcha, feeling a bit offended.
'Kid, you beat that Launch girl because, despite her strength and speed, she was an amateur in martial arts.' said Jackie Chun 'But Chi Chi is a trained martial artist and took Master Roshi's training. You'll have your work cut out for you if you are going to take her down.'
'Will Yamcha please report to the arena.' said Mr. Announcer.
'Well,' said Yamcha 'that's me. I guess we'll find out.'

'Good luck.' Jackie Chun grunted

Yamcha made his way forward, mentally preparing himself for a difficult battle. And the stakes here were much higher than they had been before. If he lost this fight, Nam's last hope would be extinguished. As he passed Krillen and Launch he took his place in front of Chi Chi, who was still glaring daggers at him.

'Listen,' said Yamcha, feeling obligated to try and mend fences. 'let's have a good match, alright.'
Chi Chi growled in a fury and took a stance. Yamcha followed suit. A tense standoff ensued as they waited for the match to begin.

Kakarot had not gone to backstage but instead had met up with Bulma and Puar. He found them standing behind the wall with the rest of the audience. Bulma looked at him perplexed, and Kakarot reflected the expression looked good on her.
'Hey Kakarot,' said Bulma 'do you have any idea why Chi Chi seems to hate Yamcha so much?'
'No,' admitted Kakarot 'but I'm sure Chi Chi is going to tell us.' This was going to be good.
'Ready,' said Mr. Announcer 'begin!'
The dam broke. Chi Chi surged across the ring at lightning speed, unleashing a flurry of punches which saw Yamcha driven back to the edge of the ring. At the last second, Yamcha leaped over Chi Chi and narrowly avoided her finishing charge. However, before he could land Chi Chi surged up into the air and slammed him in the gut, sending him falling to land with a crash. Chi Chi halted, breathing heavily, her eyes narrowed.
'Amazing, Chi Chi continues to prove a relentless opponent!' said Mr. Announcer 'Though one might wonder why she seems to be taking this so seriously! Then again, who can blame her if the prize is entry into the finals!'
'Look,' said Yamcha as he stood. 'have I done something to offend you or-'
'Let me jog your memory!' roared Chi Chi, before surging forward and unleashing an onslaught of punches which Yamcha was hard-pressed to keep up with. 'I'll teach you to play with a girls heart!'

A silence ensued among Kakarot, Bulma, and Puar as the fight waged on.

'What is he talking about?' asked Bulma, voice suspicious.
'Uh oh…' said Puar.
'Oh yes,' said Kakarot, seeing his chance. 'she's referencing a small interaction between Chi Chi and Yamcha shortly before I met her, I believe.'
'What do you mean?' said Bulma, looming over him.
'Oh no, I'm much keener to have you find out on your own.' said Kakarot easily.

Yamcha meanwhile was forced to yield ground again and again beneath Chi Chi's strikes. Though her power was not quite on Launch's level, her strikes were far more precise. Only Yamcha's longer arms allowed him to keep up with her attack. 'Listen, if you mean what happened after that T Rex, I can explain!'
'CAN YOU?!' roared Chi Chi, before dropkicking him in the face.
'Yeah, Yamcha!' roared Bulma 'Why don't you explain what this is all!'
He steadied himself. Why was it that every match so far had involved a terrible misunderstanding with his love life. 'Okay, can I just get a word in edgewise here?'
'You said you were madly in love with me!' roared Chi Chi 'And then you left me all alone in the desert without so much as much as a word! And when I next found you, you were dating that skank Bulma whose always trying to steal my Kakarot away from me!'
'What did you just call me, you little brat!' snapped Bulma. 'And you, Yamcha! How could you…' She looked on the verge of tears. 'I trusted you and you…' Her expression darkened. 'YOU CHEATING-'
'I don't see what you're so upset about Bulma?' asked Kakarot in deadpan. 'He wasn't your boyfriend at the time. And didn't you do exactly the same thing when you first saw Oolong? Face it the only difference between you two is that Yamcha didn't try to romance swine.'

'Oolong?' asked Puar, 'You mean the shapeshifting pig? Loses his transformation after five minutes?'
'Yep.' said Kakarot. 'You know him?'
'He used to bully me in shapeshifters school.' explained Puar.
'I beat him up.' said Kakarot.
'Can we focus!' snapped Bulma. 'That was completely different!'
'How?' asked Kakarot.
'Well…' Bulma paused. 'I mean… well… uh…'
'And given that you were talking about an 'upgrade'?' asked Puar. 'How do you measure up to your own standards?'
'I mean, I don't…' she began.
'Upgrade?' asked Yamcha 'What do you mean by that Puar?'
'I mean that Bulma here was talking about getting a new boyfriend during the fourth quarter-final match.' said Puar 'Specifically wondering if Jackie Chun would turn out to be cute.'
'Bulma what the HFIL!' said Yamcha.
'Oh what, I'm a strong independent woman!' snapped Bulma 'I can look if I want to!'
'Oh so when I even associate with another woman in a purely platonic way, that's being unfaithful, but when you start outright looking to replace me before I've even done anything it's your right as a strong independent woman!' said Yamcha in anger. 'View must be great from that glass house of yours!'
Everything that had happened had thus far gone according to Kakarot's plan. He smiled to himself as the argument went on, and voices got louder while the crowd was caught in the middle.
'What do you want me to say?' snapped Bulma at last, looking away and crossing her arms. 'You don't own me.'
'I saved your life from a giant castle destroying monkey!' snapped Yamcha 'The least you could do is give me a little respect!'
Kakarot blinked. 'What did you just say?'
'What?' said Yamcha, looking suddenly worried. 'I said the least she could do is show me a little respect.'
'No not that!' said Kakarot 'You told me an earthquake destroyed Pilaf's Castle.'
'Uh… I don't mean to interrupt,' said Mr. Announcer 'but we were in the middle of a match. Could you perhaps save the break up until after-'
'You aren't involved in all this!' they all roared.
Mr. Announcer sweatdropped. 'I think the audience is feeling pretty involved.'
'Alright, alright, enough!' said Yamcha, before turning to Chi Chi. 'Look, kid, I'll level with you. When I first ran into you, I saw you behead a T Rex and then obliterate its corpse with an energy beam. I congratulated you on your victory, and you tried to kill me. So I knocked you out in self-defense.
I then left you in the middle of the wilderness to go about my business, only to find out later that I had knocked out the Ox King's daughter. Now don't take this the wrong way, but your father has something of a reputation. So I figured I was dead meat unless I made sure you were safe.
I found you, you woke up, and I decided I'd rather not have you telling your father how I knocked you out. So I lied and told you I was in love with you, then left and forgot I'd ever seen you. Obviously, you took me seriously, and for that, I am sorry. It was wrong, and I apologize.'
Chi Chi remained silent for a long, long time. '…Okay,' said Chi Chi 'I guess since it was out of fear for your life I can forgive you. My papa can be pretty scary. You and Bulma kind of deserve each other anyway.'
'Why you little runt!' snapped Bulma 'I'll have you know I'm top-class girlfriend material!'
'Could have fooled me,' murmured Puar.
'Tell me about it.' said Yamcha.
'What?!' snapped Bulma 'Well if you feel that way, maybe I won't be your girlfriend anymore! How about that!'
'Fine.' said Yamcha.
'Fine!' roared Bulma, before turning to stalk away.
'Wow, amazing!' said Mr. Announcer with gritted teeth. 'This is the first time that a contestant has broken up with their girlfriend while in a match! And how about we get to that match before someone creates a shipping wall and the fans lose interest!'
'Right,' said Yamcha, before taking a stance. 'let's go.'
The two of them surged towards each other and met halfway, fighting in a vicious melee that waged back and forth. Chi Chi took several strikes to the face, and yielded ground, only to leap over his shoulder and strike him in the back. Yamcha reeled, but caught himself on the ground and dealt a kick to her face, sending her staggering back, as he rose to fight again.

Meanwhile, Kakarot made his way through the crowds after Bulma, feeling a tremendous sense of accomplishment. It had been a simple matter to get them to break up after all, and Puar had been a reliable if unwitting accomplice. Her own concern for Yamcha had played right into Kakarot's plans, and together they had convinced the two to break off from each other.
Now all the remained was to make Bulma's his, and was she crying?
Bulma was sitting on a park bench, her hands over her eyes as she sobbed to herself. Kakarot suddenly felt… was this guilt? He'd never felt guilty about anything before, and he didn't like the feeling. It occurred to him that he hadn't really thought about how Bulma might think about all this and that furthermore, he hadn't planned much farther than breaking up Bulma and Yamcha.
So he sat down next to her and put one hand on her shoulder as tenderly as he could. After a while, as the fight was raging elsewhere, Bulma stopped crying, and put her hands down, just staring into space. Finally, she spoke: 'Am I a bad person Kakarot?'
Kakarot wondered if he should answer the smart way or the honest way. He then decided to answer the way which would hurt Bulma the least. 'Oh no, I don't think you are at all responsible for the current situation. In fact, I think its largely Yamcha's fault and that you did the right thing by breaking up with him.' And it was true, in a way. Kakarot gave the credit for the break up to himself.

Even so, Bulma looked at him seriously. 'Your a bad liar, kid.' she said, wiping her eyes. 'If I didn't know any better I'd think you were trying to cheer me up.'

'Well, why tell the truth?' asked Kakarot ruefully. 'No one listens to anything they don't want to hear anyway. Frankly, I don't think it ever would have worked out between you two in the first place.' Not if he had anything to say about it.
'What?' said Bulma 'Why not?'
'Well…' Kakarot thought about what he knew about their interactions. 'Because you didn't get your wish for a perfect boyfriend is all.'
'I don't understand.'
'Yamcha's not perfect,' said Kakarot 'and neither are you. No one is really. But you seem to expect him to be perfect.'
'That's not true.' said Bulma. 'I mean-'
'Yes, it is!' said Kakarot 'You didn't want me to sugarcoat it for you, so I'm not going to back off now! You got together with him instead of making a wish on the dragonballs for the perfect boyfriend, and so you expect him to be the perfect boyfriend. That is an impossible standard.
And when he fails to meet it, you lash out at him. I guess this time he lashed back.'
Bulma said nothing for quite some time. Then suddenly, she stood up. 'You're right, Kakarot. I can't just expect never to have an argument or fight with Yamcha, and I can't keep holding him to an impossible standard.' And just like that, she began walking off.
'Wait what?' said Kakarot, following after her. 'Did I miss something? You already broke up; it's too late to adjust your strategy.'
'Don't be dense, Kakarot.' said Bulma 'Boyfriends and girlfriends break up and get back together all the time. I'm sure Yamcha and I can work this out!'
All his work was going out the window in moments. 'Maybe I don't want you to work this out!' burst out Kakarot. 'Do you think I went to the trouble of getting you mad at each other so you could work it out?!'
'You…' Bulma stared at him uncomprehending. 'you deliberately tried to get me and Yamcha to fight? Why?'
'Isn't it obvious?' asked Kakarot. 'Why would one male try to undermine another's relationship with a female?'
There was a long silence as realization dawned on Bulma's part. She blushed slightly. 'I… you're a little young, don't you think?'
'It's four years age difference, and we have eternal youth.' said Kakarot. 'What does he have that I don't?'
'I… not now Kakarot.' said Bulma 'Maybe in a few years if things don't work out with Yamcha, but… just not now.'
'Wonderful,' said Kakarot 'I'm heading back to the ring, the fights probably almost over by now.' He walked off, feeling exceptionally bitter.

Yamcha was angry, angry at himself, angry at Bulma, and angry at Chi Chi in particular. It wasn't entirely fair to blame the girl for the breakup, but it probably wouldn't have happened if she hadn't taken things so personally. Of course, that was his fault. The result of this anger was that he fought harder, focusing his rage into punches and kicks which little by little causes him to gain an edge over the girl.
He had more reach, and more skill and Nam was depending on him. He needed to win this thing. After another flurry of punches ended in a stalemate, he brought round a leg. The foot caught Chi Chi across the face and she staggered back, before launching another onslaught. It ended with Yamcha taking a fist to the shoulder as he gave ground.
Finally, they separated, panting in place as they faced each other down. Out of the corner of his eye, Yamcha noticed that Bulma had returned to the ring. That was something at least; he wanted to fix things between them.
'Your real good kid,' said Yamcha 'but I think now is the time for me to use my trump card.' Taking a stance, he got into the mindset of the wolf, charging forward. 'WOLF FANG FIST!'
She wasn't supposed to dodge. For all his speed, she still slipped out of the way of his assault and initiated a flying kick which sent him reeling back, slipping near the edge. She rushed at him, fist readied, and Yamcha ducked. She passed over him and descended right towards the ground.
'Kamehameha!' she cried, pointing her hands at the wall.
He hadn't even been aware a kamehameha could be fired that quickly, and suddenly the wall broke apart, and Chi Chi was surging towards him with another flying kick. It struck him straight in the chest and sent him crashing away. The pain was throughout his body; his vision was blurring; his body was stunned.
Distantly he was aware that a voice was counting down.
'One, two, three,'
He thought about the prize money. That didn't do anything for him.
'four, five, six,'
He thought about how Nam depended on him, and it began to get a reaction.
'seven, eight, nine,'
'GET UP YAMCHA!' cried Bulma.

Her voice pierced through the pain, and Yamcha hauled himself up while taking a stance. Filled with new resolve, he charged at Chi Chi, faster than he had ever run before, with greater speed and fury. 'WOLF FANG FIST!'
He struck her repeatedly, savagely beating the girl with his fist and legs, pouring all his anger and frustration into a singular flurry of untold devastation that left her crashing to the ground some ways away. She lay very still.
'What a blistering recovery!' said Mr. Announcer 'Yamcha appears to have knocked young Chi Chi out cold. This has truly been a vicious fight!'
"'Start the count, will you.' said Yamcha.
'One,'

By all accounts, Kakarot should have been celebrating. He had been looking forward to facing Yamcha in battle again. Now it seemed that he would face him in the finals. Mission accomplished.
'Two,'
Except Kakarot was feeling spiteful. He felt vengeful and angry, and suddenly more than anything wanted Yamcha knocked out of the tournament at this stage. This was the second one of Master Roshi's school that Yamcha had knocked out.
'Three,'
Launch and Chi Chi had gone through hell to get where they were now. And as of this moment, Yamcha had thrashed both of them. Kakarot did not know what kind of training Yamcha went through, but it seemed likely that it was nowhere near as menial or humiliating.
'Four,'
Indeed, the reputation of the Turtle School was on the line here. Why dig ditches, and moved around in heavily weighted clothing when you could spend a month or two training in the wilderness and get just as strong. It was a matter of honor at this point.
'Five,'
Kakarot had a vested interest, and an obligation to see his fellow students get higher in the ranks. And Chi Chi needed some kind of motivation. He considered what he knew about her. He could tell her that her Father was here, but that seemed a bit underhanded. Then he considered the not too subtle infatuation she seemed to hold regarding him.
'Six,'
It was a long shot, but it was worth it.
'Seven,'
'Chi Chi!' called Kakarot 'Get up, I believe in you!' The words made him sick to his stomach, and he almost wished they hadn't worked. Sure enough, however, Chi Chi rose up and looked at him, blushing.
'Do you really mean that Kakarot?'
'Everything I said to Krillen also applies to you.' said Kakarot quickly. 'Now waste him!'
'Right,' said Chi Chi.
'Back for more, huh?' asked Yamcha, taking a stance.
'I'm going to win this tournament, and make my papa proud of me!' said Chi Chi 'And you won't stop me!'
'We'll see about that!'
The two launched themselves at each other at enormous speed and met halfway. Yamcha brought down a fist that Chi Chi leaped over, before striking him across the face with her boot. Yamcha reeled with the impact and was thrown from his feet. He fell straight out of the ring to crash against the wall near Bulma, before sliding down to the ground.
'What an amazing match, ladies, and gentlemen!' said Mr. Announcer 'I don't think we've ever seen so much emotional baggage brought on stage before in the ring! And now Chi Chi has become the youngest fighter ever to enter the finals of the world martial arts tournament.'

Kakarot tuned him out and made his way back to the backstage. His mind was now turning itself to more important matters. To be more specific, why the monster who had killed his grandfather had coincidentally appeared to destroy Pilaf's Castle. While he was blacked out, no less. And more importantly, why Yamcha and Bulma had felt the need to lie to him about the creatures very existence.
Kakarot also could not help but notice that every time the monster appeared, he was blacked out. Something didn't add up here. He saw Yamcha rising up, as the cheers from the crowd grew louder and 'And here is Yamcha, what a fighter!'
Yamcha offered Chi Chi a hand. 'You are a really good martial artist, Chi Chi.'
'Thanks,' said Chi Chi as she took his hand. 'you too.'
For his part, Kakarot wanted to know what they were hiding. And why they were hiding it. 'I have to remember what happened those nights,' said Kakarot to himself. 'I have to remember…'

Nam, for his part, was disappointed in the result of the tournament. He had been hoping that Yamcha would win, that his time in this tournament might not have been wasted. However, fate, it seemed, had been against him. He now was gathering together his possessions to leave before the others came back. He could afford no further delays. He would have to find another way.
'That was a great match you fought,' said Jackie Chun to him. 'though I didn't get the chance to tell you so afterward.'
'Thanks,' said Nam as he stood.
'Aren't you going to hang around and watch the final two matches?' asked Jackie Chun.
'I'd like to, but I have some problems that I need to address.' said Nam, before turning his thoughts inward. 'I must return to find a solution. But how can I face my little brother, and the elders, and my mother, without bringing back any money for water? I failed.'
'Hey Nam,' said Jackie Chun, and Nam turned to him. 'here catch.'
He tossed him something, and Nam snatched it out of the air in one fist. It was a small red capsule. 'This is a dinocap. Isn't it?'
'Yes,' said Jackie Chun.
'It's empty,' said Nam 'I think this is the kind that is used just for storage.'
'Right,' said Jackie Chun 'you can fit vast quantities of anything you want in that capsule. Food, building materials, nifty, huh? A man could even transport a small reservoir of water singlehandedly with that capsule.'
Nam was stunned. 'Uh… how did you know I am in great need of water?'
'Minds are just like books, Nam.' said Jackie Chun ' They're easy to read if you know how.'
Nam's eyes widened as he stared at the man in awe. Suddenly such was the majesty of experience and quiet strength that was unveiled in Jackie Chun, that it left only one possible answer. 'What that boy, Kakarot said is true!' he said 'You are Master Roshi aren't you!'
'Quiet!' said Jackie Chun, on the verge of a freakout. 'They can't find out my secret.' He motioned to where Yamcha and the other four finalists were talking with each other. 'Let's talk elsewhere.'
Outside the building, Nam and Jackie Chun spoke in private beneath the shade of a palm tree,. Nam asked the obvious question first: 'I don't understand, why are you keeping your true identity secret?'
'The five fighters I was trying to get away from in there,' said Jackie Chun 'well four of them have been my students. The blonde one who changes to blue hair is called Launch, the little girl going to the finals is Chi Chi, the bald boy is Krillen, and the one I'm facing next match is Kakarot.
Kakarot is something else. He has tremendous talent, but I don't need to tell you that you fought him yourself.'
'Yes,' said Nam, 'he seems unbeatable.'
'Yes,' said Roshi, 'that's why I came. To see to it that he doesn't win this tournament. You see, Kakarot and his fellow students are young, and they all want to be the best. To them, winning this tournament is a challenge they have to win to prove themselves. They all hope to get better at it in the hopes that one day they will be able to hang with the best.
They have no idea that they are already at the pinnacle of the sport except for Kakarot, who is inches away from knowing it. When I first met him, he was cold-hearted and filled with anger and contempt for everything around him, but at the same time, I never forgot his eyes as he gazed at the ocean. He's a great warrior, but he has a lot more training to do before he's a good person. I'm afraid that if Kakarot wins this tournament, he might do something extremely reckless and walk down a darker path. And if he did that, I'm not sure I'd be able to stop him. The kid needs more time to mellow, to come to respect and love the world around him so that one day he can be a great martial artist like his Grandfather before him.'
'But what about the others?' asked Nam.
'If the others were to win this tournament, they would be the best and have nothing left to shoot for.' said Roshi. 'But if they think that there are guys out there that are stronger than they are, like Jackie Chun for instance, then they will continue training like the wild animals they really are. Uninhibited by the pride which comes from victory. Launch is already taking steps to get better.
So, Nam, I don't want the four of them to know how great they really are. That's why I came to beat the pants off of them!'
'What about your hair?' asked Nam. 'How do you get it to stay on your head when you are moving that fast?'
'Believe it or not, it's glued on.' said Jackie Chun ruefully. 'It looks fine, but it inches like there is no tomorrow. The sacrifices I make.'
'Thank you,' said Nam 'I'm honored that you trusted me with your secret.' He raised the capsule. 'Please, take this back. I appreciate that you gave it to me, but I'm afraid that I won't have any occasion to use it.'
'Hmm?' said Roshi.
'You see I was counting on the prize money,' said Nam looking downcast. 'Without that, I have no means to buy any water.'
'No money, huh?' asked Jackie Chun 'That's a shame, but come with me. I have something to show you.' He led Nam to the well and motioned to it. 'Notice anything unusual about that well?'
'There are no moneychangers,' said Nam, perplexed.

'Right,' said Roshi 'you see in this region waters not scarce, it's abundant. You can take all you want; it's as free as the air we breathe.'
'IT'S FREE?!' said Nam incredulously.
'May I have your attention, please!' said Mr. Announcers voice, carrying over the walls. 'Would Jackie Chun and Kakarot please report to the arena! The second semifinal match is about to begin!'
'Well,' said Roshi, stretching. 'here goes. See you later Nam.'

'I'll never forget what you did for me, Master Roshi.' said Nam 'Oops, I mean Jackie Chun. I'll never forget it ever.' In one simple act of kindness, Master Roshi had saved his entire village from thirst. It was all Nam could do not to cry with joy.

It was nothing,' said Roshi 'forget about it.' Suddenly he halted and rushed back. 'Actually, could you do me a favor?'

Jackie Chun made his way into the hall and found Yamcha standing leaning against the wall. The old man appraised him calmly. 'How much did you hear?'
'You don't need to worry,' said Yamcha, 'your secrets safe with me. I was just going to say goodbye to Nam, and I couldn't help but overhear. The way I see it Kakarot needs to be knocked out of this tournament sooner or later.'

'I'm surprised I didn't notice you,' said Roshi. 'where did you learn to skulk about like that?'
'It's called hiding, and I'm a former bandit, it was part of the job.' said Yamcha. 'That was really generous of you, y'know. Those storage capsules aren't cheap.'

'I know,' said Roshi, 'but in my experience, all the money in the world is small change compared to helping somebody else.' He walked past him. 'Your a talented martial artist, Yamcha. Maybe I'll teach you someday.'
Yamcha watched him go. 'I may just take you up on that.'

Authors Note:
Well, that was an intense chapter. I originally intended to have Kakarot just point out Bulma's hypocritical nature by accident, and curse as he realized he just kept Yamcha and Bulma together. However, instead, I ended up doing something much more dramatic.
Believe it or not, even though Chi Chi was always going to win this fight, I seriously considered having Yamcha win it. However, I ultimately decided that since he'd already used all his techniques, him in the final match would be a bit played out.
I'll admit, I'm looking forward to next fight a great deal, for reasons that will be yours to find out next time on Kakarot and the Quest for the Dragonballs!

As for why Yamcha isn't as big about finding out Master Roshi's true identity in canon, I've always believed he was so insistent as a way to nurse his wounded ego over being effortlessly ringed out. After all, if Master Roshi did it to him, then it isn't a mark against his skill. By that standard Master Roshi went out of his way to keep him in the dark because he wanted Yamcha also to get stronger. That and he would have revealed it to Goku and Krillen.