Chapter Twenty-Five: Jackie Chun Vs. Kakarot

The time would soon come when Kakarot would face off against Jackie Chun. Bulma hurriedly shouldered her way back to her place at the front, where Puar looked at her. 'Any luck?'

'No,' said Bulma, 'I can't find Master Roshi anywhere in this crowd. I just can't believe he'd miss this fight, is all. He's got to be here somewhere.'

In the thirty-minute interval, Yamcha and Bulma had gone off on their own. And if the way they were holding hands was any indication, they were back together again. So much for sweeping her off her feet, she had flatly rejected him. The exact reasons were irrelevant.

Consequently, he was in a bad mood. A really bad mood, in fact, and Yamcha's status as a graceful loser only added to his anger. As Jackie Chun entered the hall, Kakarot glared at him. 'Where the HFIL were you?'

'Just saying my goodbyes to Nam is all.' said Jackie Chun. 'I suppose we're up now.'

'Fair enough,' said Kakarot, 'go on ahead, I'll catch up.' He didn't mean it.

Jackie Chun made his way out into the stadium, while Kakarot remained silent, staring at the wall. He wasn't sure why he was so bitter, but he was in no mood for a fight at the moment. Worse still, he had to put up with that paper-thin disguise of Roshi's.

'And now ladies and gentlemen, we have two special warriors! First, a master Martial Artist who overpowered Monster Beast Giran! Please welcome Jackie Chun!' The cheers echoed throughout the ring, coming in through the door. 'Now we need only our other contestant! But where is he?'

Kakarot leaned back to lie on his back, staring up at the ceiling. He didn't care about this tournament anymore. He waited and waited as concern grew at his lack of appearance and couldn't bring himself to give a damn. Let them disqualify him; it didn't matter. Some part of him told him he was being needlessly petty and would regret this later, but he didn't listen.

'Attention, Kakarot, please report to the ring within two minutes. If you fail to arrive, you will be disqualified.'

Kakarot still didn't move. Finally, Krillin and the others arrived. 'Kakarot, what are you doing? If you don't go out now, you'll be forced to forfeit!'

'Whatever,' snapped Kakarot, 'I don't really care.'

'This isn't like you,' said Chi Chi, 'you've never been one to turn down a fight before.'

'Well, maybe I'm not in the mood for a fight!' snapped Kakarot. 'This tournament doesn't matter anyway!'

'How can you say that after all, we've been through to get this far?' asked Krillen. 'You can't just back out now!'

'Watch me,' snapped Kakarot, and he stood.

'So that's it, then?' asked Yamcha. 'You're just going to quit the tournament like that? Without even trying to fight your match?'

'Pretty much,' said Kakarot, 'I see no reason to entertain the sheep out there.' He then turned to leave.

'Attention, Kakarot, you have one minute remaining!'

'Didn't think you were such a chicken Kakarot.' said Launch.

Kakarot stopped where he was and turned around. 'What did you just say?'

'What Launch is trying to say is that we shouldn't be too hard on you.' said Krillen. 'I mean its obvious to anyone here that Jackie Chun is the superior fighter. So it does make sense for you to spare your own dignity and give up.'

'Go ahead and quit, we won't think less of you for it.'

It was a blatant case of emotional manipulation. Kakarot was aware that Krillen was playing on his pride, but it didn't matter because it had worked. 'Damn you!' he hissed, before stalking out into the ring.

As Krillen went to watch from the wall, Yamcha and Launch stood just out of earshot. After a moment, Launch glanced at Yamcha. 'Ya do know that's Master Roshi, right?'

'Oh yeah,' said Yamcha, 'I'm just screwing with Kakarot at this point.'

'Oh, Kakarot, there you are.' said Mr. Announcer. 'We were beginning to get worried. Alright, folks, due to unfortunate circumstances, Kakarot was delayed in his arrival.'

'Can we get this over with.' snapped Kakarot, taking a stance.

'I didn't think you'd take so long to get out here.' noted Jackie Chun in concern. 'Is something wrong?'

'Nothing you need concern yourself with.' said Kakarot, suddenly feeling more irritated than ever. Why was it that Master Roshi insisted on wasting their time with this charade. His irritation only grew as a drum roll echoed.

'Begin!' cried Mr. Announcer.

'Okay, time out!' snapped Kakarot raising. 'Does anyone here actually believe that this guy here is actually named Jackie Chun?'

'I do.' said Chi Chi.

'Me too.' said Krillen.

'Yep.' said Launch.

'Anyone besides my friends?' asked Kakarot.

'Look I don't know what to tell you,' said Jackie Chun, 'other than I'm not Master Roshi! How many times do I have to repeat myself?!'

'Hey, Mr. Announcer,' said Kakarot 'shouldn't Roshi be disqualified? He entered the tournament under a fake name?'

'What do you mean?' snapped Jackie Chun. 'There is nothing under the rules that says that I can't enter the tournament under an alias!'

'See!' said Kakarot. 'He admits it! He entered the tournament under an alias!'

'…Is what I would say if I were Master Roshi,' finished Jackie Chun ', which I am not.'

'Oh stop it,' said Kakarot, 'you're completely transparent.'

'Mommy, why aren't Jackie Chun and the monkey boy fighting?' said a voice from the crowd.

'Quiet dear, the monkey boy is delusional.'

'You're not fooling anyone whose opinion matters!' snapped Kakarot.

'You realize, Kakarot.' said Mr. Announcer gently. 'That judging by your standards, we should discount the opinions of everyone on the planet.'

'Perfect!' said Kakarot. 'That's the first sensible thing anyone here has said yet!'

'Well, if I'm Master Roshi,' said Jackie Chun, 'then who is that hmm?' And he pointed into the crowd.

Kakarot turned to see a Master Roshi. His hunch was all wrong, whose arms were too muscular, whose skin was too dark, and who didn't smell of the sea. Admittedly Jackie Chun didn't smell of the sea either. But he had caught him using orange-scented perfume or whatever it was called. He turned back, unimpressed. 'That is not, in fact, Master Roshi. That's Nam dressed in sunglasses with a flowery shirt on. Also, you were wearing a suit when last I saw you.'

'Well, maybe I changed outfits!' snapped Jackie Chun before realizing his mistake. 'Erm, uh… that was a joke y'see, I was pretending to be Master Roshi and… uh…'

'Incredible,' said Mr. Announcer, 'this match has been completely sidetracked. All by the farfetched claim that Master Roshi and Jackie Chun are the same person! Is this some new form of mind game on Kakarot's part, or is he just luring us into a false sense of security.'

'Oh to hell with it!' roared Kakarot.

He surged forward and with a brutal uppercut, sent Jackie Chun flying up into the sky and out of the ring. Kakarot launched himself into the sky until he was on Master Roshi's level. Then he readied himself.

'Kaaa… meee… haaa… meee…HAAAA!' roared Kakarot.

From his hands, he launched a massive beam of blue light at the falling form of Jackie Chun. It painted the surroundings in blue light. However, Jackie Chun turned in midair. He kicked the approaching beam, sending it skyward. He then launched a kamehameha wave towards the ground. Propelling himself straight towards Kakarot, he dropkicked him in the face. It happened so quickly that Kakarot scarcely had time to react. He was sent spinning downwards toward the ring.

Both fell down to the ring. Jackie Chun touched down lightly. Kakarot landed on his face, clutching his chest. The pain was pretty bad, and he was confident he'd have a bruise later. Jackie Chun was rubbing his chin painfully.

'I must admit,' said Jackie Chun. 'that hurt. But you won't take me off guard like that again.'

Kakarot answered with a roar as he surged to his feet and met the old master in a flurry of strikes. They moved in a circle, their arms and legs a blur between them as they battled for dominance. Finally, Jackie Chun struck Kakarot across the face, only to take a blow to the gut. Both of them staggered back, and Kakarot breathed.

Then Kakarot charged again, straight at Jackie Chun. Yet his fist passed straight through him. Kakarot halted as Jackie Chun became blurred. A shadow loomed over him, and he ducked just in time to avoid being knocked out by a strike from behind. 'What the hell!' he said as he gained some distance between them.

'Afterimage technique,' said Jackie Chun, flashing a thumbs up to the audience. 'An oldie, but a goodie.'

'Will you just shut up and fight.' snapped Kakarot, before rushing him again.

This time he was not surprised when his fist phased through Master Roshi. He turned around as he heard footsteps behind him. He brought about a roundhouse kick at Jackie Chun. 'Did you really think the same trick would work on me twice!'

His leg phased through Jackie Chun, and he stopped.

At that moment, Jackie Chun came down from above and slammed him into the ground. Kakarot landed hard, before scrambling up and getting some distance. 'As a matter of fact,' said Jackie Chun, 'I didn't. So I used a double after image instead!'

'You're going to be seeing double for the rest of your life after I'm done with you, you old BASTARD!' roared Kakarot, before striking at him. However, Jackie Chun spun over his head and landed behind.

'You really should learn to calm down,' said Jackie Chun with a bored stretch. 'It's not healthy to take everything so seriously.'

Kakarot saw red.

'Whats this Kakarot seems to be attacking Jackie Chun in absolute fury, but he can't seem to land a single hit! This looks bad for our young berserker folks!' said Mr. Announcer as the fight went on.

'What's up with Kakarot?' asked Bulma, 'Why can't he hit him?'

'He's fighting sloppy,' said Puar, 'Yamcha gets like this too when he gets really angry. He stops thinking about his moves, and just kind of attacks the problem head-on. Jackie Chun is playing him.'

Bulma had to do something.

With another fruitless roar, Kakarot tried in vain to beat Jackie Chun into the ground. He ended up getting slapped down for his trouble. 'When I am done with you,' said Kakarot. 'I will rip off every limb on your body and leave you a cripple for the rest of your life! Do you hear me?!'

'You know threats are best made when you can back them up.' said Jackie Chun with a yawn.

'Why you-' began Kakarot.

'Kakarot calm down!' called Bulma from outside the ring. 'He's just trying to get you riled up, and you're falling for it. Think about what you are doing.'

Despite his anger, Kakarot realized she was right. Breathing in, he calmed himself little by little, then took a stance. An idea occurred to him, and he used it at once.

Kakarot was proving to be easier than Jackie Chun had expected. For some reason, the kid was in a fouler mood than Jackie had ever seen him. As a result, he was just going all out and tiring himself for no good reason. It was a pattern which Jackie had adapted to. Of course, now that Bulma had called on him to stop, it might be that Kakarot could become a serious problem. Of his four students, it was Kakarot that Jackie was most concerned with stopping.

'DIE!' roared Kakarot.

Apparently, the kid didn't feel like listening, though. He just charged forward as usual. Jackie leaped over the boy's predictable strike and brought a leg round to strike him in the back of the neck. His leg passed through nothing, and Jackie blinked. 'What?'

Then Kakarot slammed him in the back from behind. Jackie scarcely managed to turn around before Kakarot was unleashing a furious assault. His arms moved faster and faster. Multiple hits got through, driving Jackie Chun farther and farther back. The boy's eyes were bloodshot; his mouth was roaring as he directed all his rage against him.

Jackie realized he was getting very close to the edge of the ring and forced Kakarot to a halt. Striking the boy in the face, he ducked back from a kick, then leaped over him to land behind. 'Kamehameha!' Then he unleashed the beam.

It passed right through the boy as though he weren't there. Jackie had to redirect the beam away from the crowd quickly. As he did that, he looked up to see Kakarot directly above him, summoning his power to his hands. Jackie followed suit.

'Kaa… me… ha… me… HAA!' roared Kakarot and Jackie Chun.

Their waves shot towards each other to meet in the middle. White light consumed everything, as umbrellas were knocked off their stands. Bulma's hair blew around her as the terrible combat waged. For a moment, their blasts dueled for dominance as Kakarot was pushed gradually up. Then Jackie wavered, and suddenly the waved exploded into light. Jackie was thrown to the ground, while Kakarot was sent flying up into the sky beyond sight. There was a slight twinkle in the sky above.

'Wow, after a brutal beam match, Kakarot has been sent beyond sight by Jackie Chun's kamehameha wave! I think it's fair to start counting for a ring out. One, two, three, four, five-'

Kakarot landed with a crash on the ring floor and lay still.

'He's still down,' said Jackie Chun, standing up. 'keep counting.'

'Right,' said Mr. Announcer. 'six, seven, eight, nine-'

And then Kakarot was up, roaring like a beast and charging at Jackie Chun, even as he rose to meet the new assault. In a flurry of fists and feet, they fought back and forth, both taking hits and both shouldering through them. On and on it went, with Kakarot gaining the advantage through sheer youthful energy.

Mr. Announcer had thus far been speechless. 'Wow, what a show! Kakarot has launched a vicious offensive, and Jackie Chun is straining to hold him back! But can the old master keep this up?'

Bulma stared in shock as Kakarot continued his attack. He looked more like a wild beast right now than the boy she had come to care for, and it scared her. Jackie Chun, however, remained focused, and their fists met halfway. They leaped back, facing each other down from a distance.

'…I'll give you this, old man.' snarled Kakarot with a growl. 'You are hard to put down.'

Despite himself, Jackie Chun, or rather Master Roshi, was impressed. 'In a day, Kakarot has learned a move; it took me fifty years to master. And in eight months, he has learned to wield its power with incredible strength.' He thought to himself.

Cheers broke out from the crowd as they both stood there, growing louder and louder as the waiting went on. Bulma got in on it herself, realizing that she should be cheering her friend's success. 'Your the best Kakarot!' she called. 'Keep it up, kid!'

'Remember this day, folks!' said the Announcer. 'This may be the only time you see two masters of the legendary kamehameha wave in the same arena! The first is Jackie Chun, and the second is this amazing boy Kakarot!'

Bulma and Puar smiled at each other. Meanwhile, across the ring, they saw Yamcha and the others joining in on the cheering. Kakarot looked around, a stunned look on his face. After a moment, he waved to the crowds, shaken free from his anger for a moment.

'Yes,' thought Roshi, 'Kakarot is amazing, and dangerous too. I really didn't expect him to do this well. No matter, it will all be over with my next attack.'

'Now let the match continue!' cried Mr. Announcer. 'So far, these two incredible martial artists have fought to a draw! But keep your eyes open, because at some point that's got to change! Only one of them can advance to the finals!'

Jackie Chun began to take a stance, while Kakarot smiled. 'This may actually be a decent fight after all,' said Kakarot.

'Having fun are we?' asked Jackie Chun. 'Well, try this on-'

'RAAAAGH!' roared Kakarot as he charged him.

Jackie Chun had no time for techniques; he simply had to defend himself. The two fought on and on in a flurry of punches and kicks without end. Every time one of them was knocked down, he would rise again to attack once again. Kakarot fought with unrelenting savagery. But Chun had the greater skill and so was able to control his assault. Then Jackie Chun leaped over Kakarot and gained some distance.

'Now, I will use-'

'AAAAAHHH!' roared Kakarot as he surged forward again and cut him off.

'It looks like Jackie Chun is trying to initiate some secret hidden technique!' said Mr. Announcer. 'But Kakarot is refusing to let him! What a pragmatist!'

On and on, the fight went, with Kakarot beating Jackie's guard until the guard broke. Then he sent Jackie Chun reeling back. 'Damn it, you little runt, let me finish my attack!'

'Why should I?' asked Kakarot as he lunged. 'Your primary advantage is in your wealth of techniques. So all I have to do is keep you from using them, and soon I'll have you beaten!'

Jackie blocked a flying kick and slammed Kakarot down. 'Alright, you little runt, you want a fistfight, then let's go!'

The two fighters continued their duel without end for what seemed an eternity. Both were slamming each other with everything they had. However, little by little Jackie Chun seemed to slow in his moves. He was falling behind and took several strikes before staggering to near the edge of the ring. Chun dropping to one knee.

'Alright!' said Bulma. 'Kakarot must have more endurance than Jackie Chun! He's going to win!'

With a roar, Kakarot charged towards Master Roshi in a flying kick. It surged towards the waning master who stepped aside as Kakarot flew right past him. Yet at the last minute, Kakarot adjusted his posture and landed feet first on the side of the wall. He kicked off it; he surged back the way he had come-

Right into Jackie Chun's fist.

Kakarot fell back and landed with a crash on the ground, his arms and legs splayed out about him. Then there was absolute silence. Silence so deep that you could hear a pin drop a thousand miles away. So deep that if silence was golden, it would be 22 karat gold.

Finally, the Announcer spoke. 'Amazing! Kakarot made an impressive recovery from overshooting his target! But Jackie Chun was too quick for him.

Jackie Chun is advancing to the finals! I repeat as of this moment, ladies and gentlemen, we have our finalists!

Join us in thirty minutes for the final fight of the world martial arts tournament! Chi Chi Vs. Jackie Chun.'

Kakarot was lying on the ground, eyes vacant and mouth wide-eyed. Bulma stepped over the wall and ran to his side alongside Puar. 'Hey, Kakarot, you alright, kid, right? Please tell me you're alright!'

'But Grandpa Gohan…' slurred Kakarot. 'I don't want to go to high school; it undermines the entire point of my character. I'm supposed to be a book dumb idiot hero with no idea how… modern… society… works…' He dropped off again.

'I think Jackie Chun hit him a little too hard.' reflected Puar.

'Well, what do you expect?' asked Jackie Chun. 'That kid is a maniac.'

Authors Note:

HA! I bet none of you saw that coming!

I think I'd better just end here. I gotta admit, I've been looking forward to doing the script scene. As decisions go, it was far easier to make than I thought it would be. For one thing, Goku being a primary contender for the champ, is a pillar of the canon. He always makes it to the final round. I figured subverting that tradition would be a nasty little surprise to keep you guys on your toes.

That's right folks, Kakarot does not have a free ticket to the final match in any of the tournaments. He'll have to earn it. Whether he will, well, I guess we'll find out, won't we?

Also, the reason Kakarot lost to Jackie Chun is that he's not Goku. Goku was having the time of his life and played around with all kinds of weird abilities. Kakarot, in sharp contrast, is much more a fan of a straight-up brawl. He refuses to play around with special abilities.