Chapter Twenty-Six: The Grand Finale

The crowds had gathered far and wide to witness the spectacle of the World Martial Arts Tournament. And what a spectacle it had been! More people were joining the crowds late, while the cameras rolled on the action without end. Across the whole world, the matches had played out and delighted the hopes and imaginations of children and adults alike.

Yamcha was not anywhere near the ring at the moment. He was taking a risk by leaving the area, but he could afford not to see a bit of the fight to say goodbye. He caught up with Nam just as the man was reaching the docks, about to board his ship.

'Hey, Nam! Wait up!' called Yamcha.

'Yamcha,' said Nam in surprise. 'what are you doing here?'

'You didn't think I'd let you go without at least saying goodbye.' said Yamcha. 'Did you find a solution to the water problem?'

'Yes,' said Nam, 'it was simpler than I expected. Who knew that water was free? Actually, why didn't you tell me?'

'I'll level with you,' said Yamcha 'I'm more of an act first and think later kind of guy. I didn't even consider that angle to the whole thing.'

'I suppose I am as well,' reflected Nam 'had I checked the prices on water much hassle might have been avoided. Even so, I thank you for your efforts. Did things work out for you and Bulma?'

'Yeah,' said Yamcha 'we talked it over. Its all in the past now.' He paused. 'Will you be coming in for the next tournament? We never did get our match.'

Nam smiled. 'I may, actually. Five hundred thousand zeni is no small amount, and it could be used to great effect at my village.'

'Then I guess I'll see you then.' said Yamcha 'You'd better train hard, Nam. Because I'm going to be training just as hard in the meantime.'

'I will.' said Nam, and they shook hands.

'All aboard!' called a crew member.

'I have to get on my ship,' said Nam 'farewell, my friend. If you ever pass by my village again, stop in and say hello.'

'Right, I'll be sure to do that.' said Yamcha 'I need to see the final round anyway.' A smile crossed both their faces, and then they went their separate ways.

Yamcha ran through the streets, nearly bowling over several people in his haste as he made his way towards the Tournament. As he made his way through the crowd, he saw Bulma looking over the wall of the match. Puar smelled him and turned around, but he put one finger to his lips in a gesture for silence. Moving very quietly, Yamcha snuck up behind Bulma and gripped shoulders. 'Boo!'

She jumped, and turned around, before breathing in relief. 'Don't scare me like that Yamcha!'

'Sorry,' said Yamcha 'did I miss anything?'

'No,' said Bulma 'Chi Chi and Jackie Chun have just come out. It hasn't started yet.'

'Perfect timing, I guess.' said Yamcha.

'By the way,' said Bulma 'did you see Master Roshi anywhere?'

Yamcha smiled in a roguish fashion. 'I'm sure he's around. Trust me.'

Then they watched.

Mr. Announcer had not seen a tournament like this in many years and came forward to watch the two finalists. Jackie Chun stood still and silent like a statue; his eyes closed as he focused. At the same time, Chi Chi was busy stretching and doing pushups to warm each other up. It was a contrast which worked well. Young against old, male against female, youthful exuberance against old experience.

'Now then,' he said as he walked forward. 'before we begin, let's have a word with our two finalists!' He approached Chi Chi, who was bending over backward and offered her the mike. 'Chi Chi, could you tell us a little bit about your strategy going into this bout?'

'My strategy?' asked Chi Chi, blinking.

'Yes, your plans for winning the fight.' said Mr. Announcer.

Chi Chi stood up straight while thinking about it. 'I'm supposed to have a plan? I didn't know!'

Mr. Announcer paused, waiting for more, as Chi Chi began to do pushups. Evidently, no answer was forthcoming. So he rose up. 'Well, there you have it! A girl of few words indeed-'

'Oh I forgot to mention that when I win the prize money, I'm going to buy a new castle for my papa and me to live in because Master Roshi accidentally blew our old one up!' said Chi Chi, snatching away the mike. 'Also I figure I'll buy a lot of really nice clothes!' Then she passed the mike back.

'-but I guess you don't really have to have a plan when you've made it all the way to the finals!'

Cheers broke out from the crowd that deafened the ears as people waved their arms, and clapped their hands in enthusiasm. It went on for quite a few moments, before little by little dying down. Finally, Mr. Announcer spoke again. 'Now it's time to talk to our next competitor, Jackie Chun! And I'm sure that this fighting veteran is going to have plenty to say!'

He made his way over to Jackie and offered him the mike. 'Jackie, what are your plans for this match?' There was no answer. 'Jackie? Mr. Chun?' People leaned forward, eager to hear what Jackie Chun had to say. Suddenly a low snoring noise came from his mouth. 'Well… er… uh… he seems to be sleeping right now.' Dragging out a pocket cloth, he wiped his brow nervously. 'Just like a true master, extremely relaxed before the big fight.'

'…So what do you think Chi Chi's chances are?' asked Krillen.

'She doesn't have one.' said Kakarot. 'I'm the strongest out of all of us, so if I couldn't beat him, there is no way she'll be able to.'

'Don't you think you're being a bit of a sore loser?' asked Krillen. 'I mean Chi Chi got farther in the tournament than all of us.'

'Shut up Krillen.'

Then a drum roll began. A booming rolling noise resounded throughout the ring as many orange-clad monks beat on drums with sticks. Chi Chi and Jackie Chun faced each other down, just watching as the suspense grew and grew. Bulma leaned forward. 'Here we go…' she said, taking a deep breath.

On and on the drum beats went, going faster and faster as Chi Chi finished taking a stance, and Jackie Chun opened his eyes. He took an aggressive stance and exhaled audibly, and it seemed as though flames were surrounding him. Yet Chi Chi followed suit and seemed to be surrounded by a similar aura.

'Let the match begin!' cried Mr. Announcer.

The gong was sounded. Jackie Chun rushed forward with a war cry towards Chi Chi.

'Oh!' cried Mr. Announcer 'Jackie Chun has taken the offensive, he's looking for another quick victory!' Jackie Chun surged forward, only to pass through Chi Chi as though she weren't there. Bulma looked up to see Chi Chi hurtling through the air above.

Yet Jackie Chun was too quick and backflipped up after her as she began her descent back to earth. The silhouette of the two was framed against the backdrop of the sun. Then Jackie Chun kicked her far away beyond the ring into the distance.

'Just like that she's out?' asked Yamcha 'Master- I mean Jackie Chun really has lived up to his reputation.'

'Oh,' said Bulma in disappointment. 'she lost the match.'

'Chi Chi never had a chance.' reflected Puar with a sigh.

'Told ya so.' said Kakarot, oozing with satisfaction.

'Shut up Kakarot.' said Krillen and Launch at once.

Jackie Chun took some satisfaction from his victory. 'Foolish girl, if I've told her once I've told her a thousand times. Danger is the nosy next-door neighbor of security. If she'd just remembered that, she might not have lost so quickly.'

Meanwhile, Chi Chi had gotten into a cross-legged position as she hurtled through the air towards her inevitable ring out. 'Well this is bad.' she reflected, 'What do I do now?'

Then the obvious solution occurred to her.

Jackie Chun was busy making victory signs to the audience while laughing to himself in triumph. 'It would seem Jackie Chun has done it again!' cried Mr. Announcer.

'What did ya expect?' asked Jackie. 'Eh heh heh.'

'Despite his advanced age,' said Mr. Announcer, 'this seasoned martial artist continues to amaze! In what may be record time he's managed to defeat yet another opponent with minimal effort!'

'It's what I do.' said Jackie Chun.

'Look!' cried someone. 'Up there in the sky!'

Bulma looked up. 'Hmm, what's happening?' She followed peoples gaze as a murmur arose throughout the crowd. A gleaming was seen in the sky, and Bulma's face broke into a smile. 'It's Chi Chi!' she cried 'Look!'

Jackie Chun was shaken from his revelry as his gaze turned upward.

Puar cheered aloud, as similar cries came from the crowd. Chi Chi descended down from the heavens, atop a golden Nimbus Cloud and stepped off it, smiling. 'Hello again! You really caught me off guard there.'

'Why you little…' began Jackie Chun 'You were out! That Nimbus Cloud is an outside tool!'

'Ladies and gentlemen,' said Mr. Announcer 'the match has come under protest. Give us a moment, and the judges will make their verdict.'

There was a long pause. Then Mr. Announcer spoke again. 'The judges have ruled that since the cloud was part of the natural habitat, Chi Chi's recovery stands. However, if she uses the Nimbus Cloud again, she will be disqualified.'

'Well then, I guess I'd better just make sure I don't need to use it.' said Chi Chi.

'You're pretty arrogant for someone who almost lost!' cried Roshi 'That cloud is all that saved you!'

'Actually, I could have flown back with a kamehameha wave as you did.' said Chi Chi 'But I figured it would be nice to save that for later.'

'Quit kidding yourself, girl!' snapped Jackie Chun 'That technique is far too difficult for a child to perform! You can't do it?'

'Yes, I can!' snapped Chi Chi.

'You think so?' asked Jackie, 'Well, we'll see about that.' And he cupped his hands together. 'Are you so sure of your kamehameha waves that you'd try one against me? The man who invented them!'

'You invented?' asked Chi Chi 'You're lying! The kamehameha wave is Master Roshi's technique!'

'Eh…' Jackie Chun halted 'well of course it is! Heh, how silly, of course, he did it first!'

'Then why did you say you invented it?' asked Chi Chi accusingly.

'Because he's Master Roshi!' called Kakarot from the wall.

'Uh… my kamehameha waves are… well, they're different!'

'No, they aren't!' snapped Kakarot. 'Because you and Master Roshi are the same person!'

'Really?' asked Chi Chi 'How are they different?'

'Kid, has anyone ever told you that you ask too many questions?' asked Jackie Chun. He turned away and began to think. 'Why… why it's uh… it's perfectly obvious, isn't it?' He turned back to her. 'First, I balance! Then I stretch! Next, I focus my entire body with some mild aerobics!' Then he returned to his stance. 'Like I said: different.'

'Oh, come on!' said Kakarot.

'Kaaa… meee… haaa… meee…' began Jackie Chun,

'Kamehameha!' snapped out Chi Chi before launching a beam of light that surged across the ring before Jackie could finish his assault. The old Master stepped aside, as Chi Chi's blast passed him, and narrowly avoided being hit head-on. The beam surged up past the audience and exploded in the sky above, painting the whole town blue with its light.

'HAAA!' finished Jackie Chun, before launching his own assault that Chi Chi scrambled away from just in time. It exploded above with a flash even more brilliant. The light had the audience shielding their eyes from the flare.

'I don't get how Chi Chi can use the kamehameha wave so easily and quickly.' said Krillen. 'When did she learn it?'

'Well when Launch and I were practicing,' said Kakarot 'we accidentally woke her up and she joined in.'

'The kids got some weird ability to summon her energy really quickly.' said Launch 'I have no idea how she does it.'

'Wait, so I'm the only person who didn't learn the kamehameha wave!' said Krillen. 'Why didn't you guys wake me up!'

'It's not my fault you sleep like a log.' said Kakarot.

Despite himself, Jackie Chun was impressed.

'Chi Chi has truly exceeded my expectations for her,' thought Jackie Chun to himself. 'when her Father was this age, he was nowhere near this powerful. Yet she has not only surpassed him but also mastered the kamehameha. I never thought anyone could fire one that quickly. I'll have to keep on my toes.

Even so, my next attack will finish this.'

He could, of course, just stop holding back and completely thrash her. However, he wanted to impress the need for variety on his students. It was a lesson Kakarot needed to learn anyway.

'Now let the match continue!' cried Mr. Announcer 'So far these two incredible finalists have fought to a draw, but keep your eyes open! Only one of them can be named, the Champion of the World!'

For a moment, the two stood in silence, waiting for the other to make the first move. A bead of sweat dripped down Jackie Chun's face, as he adjusted his posture. Chi Chi watched him carefully with a look of concentration. Then all of a sudden Jackie Chun phased out of existence, leaving two shadows in his place.

Chi Chi looked at each of them. 'Which one is the real one?' she wondered 'How do I tell?' Rushing towards one, she struck it quickly, only to have her hand phase through it. At once, she turned to the other shadow.

'I'm sorry,' said Jackie Chun behind her. 'were you looking for me!'

Up came his leg, and Chi Chi was sent flying towards the wall. However, she spun round in midair and landed feet first, kicking off the wall as it crumbled behind her and landing back in the ring in a stance.

'The double after image,' said Jackie Chun in satisfaction. 'that usually works.'

'My turn!' said Chi Chi 'And I'm not going to hold back!' And then she phased out of existence.

'You little copycat!' snapped Jackie Chun as he saw the images. 'You think you can use my own trick on me! Do you? Well, it's not going to work!' He glanced back and saw the other one. 'Just as I thought, a double after image, Not to worry, I know right where to find you!' Then he punched at where Chi Chi was coming at him from the flank.

His hand passed through her as though it had hit only air. Jackie Chun glanced around in a panic for any sign of her.

'Up here!' Called Chi Chi as she descended upon his back and dealt him a double-fisted blow to the head, before leaping off. Jackie Chun fell to the ground with a crash, as cheers broke out from the crowd. Chi Chi landed and looked at Jackie Chun in concern. 'Are you alright? I used a triple after image, just so you know. I sort of invented it on the fly, but it seems to have worked.'

Jackie Chun arose looking very annoyed as he rubbed his head painfully. 'So what do you think?'

'New rule,' said Jackie Chun 'no hitting your teacher in the head!'

'What?' said Chi Chi 'But you aren't my teacher! My teacher is Master Roshi!'

'Oh, come on!' screamed Kakarot from the sidelines.

Jackie Chun evidently realized his mistake. 'Of course, he is!' he laughed 'I know that I just got a little confused is all!'

Chi Chi stared at him in suspicion, as she thought about what all this meant. He looked like Master Roshi, except with hair, he fought like Master Roshi. He knew Master Roshi's moves and confused himself with Master Roshi.

'What?' said Jackie Chun 'What is it, why are you looking at me like that?'

'I've got it!' she said in triumph. 'I've figured it out!'

'Finally!' roared Kakarot as Jackie Chun looked incredibly worried.

'Your Master Roshi's brother!' said Chi Chi.

'AAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGHHHH!' screamed Kakarot skyward.

'Eh…' said Jackie Chun 'Oh, yeah you got me! We're family, alright!'

'That explains why you look like him.' said Chi Chi.

Then Jackie Chun took out a scroll from his sleeve and opened it. It appeared to be a genealogical chart tracing the lineage of Master Roshi and Jackie Chun. 'Yeah, but see I'm not actually his brother. Here look, you see, I'm his cousin. Eheheheheheheh.'

Chi Chi looked at the chart with interest. 'Wow, your family all looks very alike, don't they?'

'Yep, it's in the blood.' said Jackie Chun, before looking around at the doubtful crowd. 'Well, I am, you know! Really! Ehahahahaha!' Then suddenly he became serious. 'But this is no time for laughing; we have a match to finish!'

He suddenly raised one hand into the air above him, and took a stance, while Chi Chi took her own. Then suddenly Jackie Chun's posture became unsteady and woozy, his eyes became unfocused as he moaned and groaned drunkenly. A blush crept onto his cheeks as he staggered back and forth.

Chi Chi looked on, perplexed, and a little worried. 'Mr. Chun, are you alright? Should I call an ambulance?'

'Oh!' said Mr. Announcer 'And Jackie Chun is staggering wildly about the ring! Either he's a little punch drunk from that last attack, or he's taken one too many pulls off the old flask if you know what I mean.'

Suddenly Jackie Chun fell backward, and Chi Chi moved forward to support him. 'Mr. Chun, I think we should get you medical attent-OW!' She said ow because at that moment Jackie Chun struck her across the head. 'What did you do that for?'

If Jackie Chun heard her, then he showed no sign of it. He merely staggered all the more unsteadily towards her. Chi Chi approached, looking a little concerned, and then she was kicked in the face by Jackie Chun and sent flying away. What was going on?

'Don't be fooled Chi Chi!' called Yamcha 'He's using the drunken boxing technique! He's only pretending to be tipsy!'

Kakarot, for his part, had known all along what Jackie Chun was doing. That was why he had not said anything at all. Because he didn't care who won the tournament once his chances of winning it were done. Even so, he wondered how Jackie Chun knew one of his grandfather's specialties. Oh, wait, Jackie Chun was Master Roshi.

Chi Chi launched a flying kick and was instantly knocked back down by Jackie Chun to land with a crash, clutching her head.

'What's this?' asked Mr. Announcer 'It seems there may be some method to Jackie's madness after all!'

Jackie began clapping. 'What's this? Everybody dance!' And then he began dancing too and fro while slurring incoherent lyrics. 'Then again, he could just be out of his gourd.'

Chi Chi launched another assault, only to be dodged and kicked in the gut. As she reeled backward, clutching herself, Jackie fell to the ground and kicked her in the chest, sending her sprawling as he arose and stomped on her.

'Uh oh! It looks like Chi Chi is having trouble staying on her feet!' said Mr. Announcer.

'Having some trouble, Chi Chi?' asked Jackie Chun 'Yes, its hard to drunken box if you've never been drunk before!' As Chi Chi clutched her injuries pained, Jackie Chun advanced. 'Last call!' said Jackie Chun 'Everybody go, time to go home!'

Chi Chi turned and raced towards the edge of the ring.

'Wait…' said Jackie Chun 'you know I didn't mean that literally right?'

'Kamehameha!' roared Chi Chi, before firing herself towards Jackie Chun like a rocket. She slammed into his chest and sent them both sprawling over the floor. Yet Chi Chi quickly got to her feet, even as Jackie Chun rose up himself. 'Kamehameha!'

Once again she shot like a rocket and slammed into him at full speed, sending him staggering as she landed at the edge of the ring. 'Kamehameha!'

'Incredible!' said Mr. Announcer 'Chi Chi is using the kamehameha wave to propel herself like a rocket to crash into Jackie Chun! What a creative girl! Once again the tides of this match have turned to Chi Chi's advantage! It looks like Jackie Chun has an uphill battle to fight if he hopes to regain control!'

However, Jackie Chun arose in new power, as magic surged through him. 'Fool… I'm not out of this yet… in fact… I've already won…'

'Um… I don't think the tournament works like that.' said Chi Chi.

'Whats this?' asked Mr. Announcer 'Jackie Chun has just named himself the winner! But lets watch and see if he has the moves to back up his talk! I wouldn't be surprised if this fighting master still has a few tricks up his sleeve!' Jackie Chun's eyes glowed red as the audience watched in awe. 'This doesn't look good for Chi Chi, Jackie's gathering the energy for his next attack, which may be the only one he'll need to win this match and become World Champion!'

Authors Note:

Okay so apparently Kakarot getting knocked out in the second round wasn't as surprising as I had hoped it would be. Oh well, better luck next time, I guess.

This fight is going to be a multi-parter like in canon. I tried to mix things up a bit so that it didn't read exactly the same. The lack of a monkey style techniques comes from the fact that Chi Chi is not quite as crazy awesome as young Goku.

It's funny I really feel like Goku was most interesting as a kid, back when he just did crazy stuff for the heck of it. Once he becomes an adult, he stops being crazy awesome and just kind of becomes an incredibly neglectful husband and father who ditches lifelong friends to hang out with former mass murderers.