Chapter Twenty Nine: Tough Customers

In the aftermath of the Martial Arts Tournament a strange sense of lethargy fell over them. No one was in the mood to talk. After all the excitement of the matches and martial arts, everyone now felt tired. As they sat around the hotel lobby, looking at each other, Master Roshi finally spoke up.

'I think you students have earned a break from things before your next round of training,' he said. 'It's time you learned some lessons from the greatest scholar of all: Life.'

'Are you serious?' asked Kakarot, raising an eyebrow.

'Mmmmhmmm,' said Roshi, nodding as he did so.

'Fine,' said Kakarot, 'I was getting bored of training anyway. What are you all going to do?'

'Well…' said Ox King, 'I was thinking of taking my darling Chi Chi back to my kingdom. With your permission, of course, Master Roshi, it's just we haven't been a family together for so long.'

'Are you alright with this Chi Chi?' asked Roshi.

'Yes,' said Chi Chi 'I mean this has been a lot of fun. But I think I'm going to take a bit of a break from martial arts for a while.'

'Well that's your decision.' said Roshi. 'And what about you Krillen?'

'Actually Master,' said Krillen. 'I was looking forward to going back to your island with you so I could start training for the next tournament.'

'Right,' said Roshi. 'Well, it will be nice to have some company, I suppose.'

'In the next tournament, I want to score big.' said Krillen.

Kakarot looked to Yamcha, Bulma, and Puar. 'What about you three? Any plans?'

'Well I guess we'll head over to West City.' said Bulma.

'Yeah, it'll be fun.' said Yamcha 'A nice relaxing drive across the desert. Maybe visit Nam and see how things turned out for him.'

'Mind if I go with you?' asked Kakarot. 'I have no particular place in this world or strong desire beyond its annihilation.'

'Sure, you can come.' said Bulma 'Just uh… don't turn into a giant monkey or anything.'

'I assure you, that's no longer an option.' said Kakarot 'I'm just going to have to exceed Gohan the old fashioned way.'

'Uh… I'd like to come.' said Blue Launch. 'I mean Yamcha did promise to teach my blonde self martial arts, and I guess I ought to advance my training.' She glanced to Roshi. 'You know ever since I took your training, I haven't come too in a room of bodies and bullet holes in months. I think it helps with my other self's control.'

'Erm… that's wonderful,' said Roshi after a moment. 'you know they always say that learning martial arts helps the soul as well as the body.'

Kakarot smiled before the expression faded. 'Well, it looks like we all have a plan.' He paused. 'Master Roshi, before we part ways, about those weighted turtle shells?'

'Yes,' said Roshi.

'Where did you buy them?' asked Kakarot 'I mean is there a store I can get them from?'

'Erm…' Roshi paused, 'well they're a bit pricy. But in the interests of advancing your training, I can show you the store and get you a few things.'

'I'd appreciate that.' said Kakarot, before looking to the others. 'You guys had better come with me.'

As Master Roshi led them through the streets, Yamcha made his way forward. 'So what exactly is your plan here, Kakarot?'

'Oh,' said Kakarot. 'When I was at Master Roshi's island, we trained with weighted training clothes. I figure if I wear some now, it will help me get stronger long term.'

'That sounds like a great idea.' said Yamcha, fishing around for his wallet. 'I think I may do the same.'

Kakarot chose a pitch-black heavy vest which he put underneath his gi. He followed them with two black armbands, which made it hard to move. Altogether they weighed fifty kilos, which made it difficult to move after so much time. Even so, he was used to it. Launch took a similar amount, while Krillin declined.

'After all, I'm going to be training with Master Roshi, and wearing those tacky shells.' said Krillin 'So I don't need to buy those.'

'Tacky?!' cried Roshi. 'I'll have you know that those are state of the art stylish.' He glanced to Chi Chi. 'What about you, Chi Chi? Can I purchase you anything?'

Chi Chi remained silent. 'Well… I really don't feel like wearing weights again.' said Chi Chi after a moment.

'If you don't,' said Kakarot 'you'll end up falling way behind the rest of us.'

'Yeah kid,' said Launch 'quit being such a wimp and get some.'

Reluctantly Chi Chi took a lighter vest of perhaps twenty kilos. Yet it was all she could be convinced to wear. Meanwhile, Yamcha stared. 'Are you sure you guys want to wear that kind of weight all the time?'

'Oh yeah, we did it for eight months.' said Kakarot 'So, how heavy are you going?'

Perhaps it was pride, or simply the desire to be exceeded. Whatever the case, Yamcha chose his own fate: 'Hey, any weight you can take, I can take. I'll take seventy-five kilos, and I'll buy it myself.'

'Fair enough,' said Kakarot, impressed at his friend's courage. 'Bulma what about you?'

'Me?' asked Bulma, 'I'm not interested in martial arts.'

'Yeah, it's probably for the best,' reflected Kakarot. 'After all your far too weak-willed and devoid of true virtue to ever pull off even the lightest of weights.'

'What do you mean?' asked Bulma. 'I'm plenty strong-willed!'

'Great, so you'll buy one then?' said Kakarot.

'I never said that,' said Bulma quickly.

'Look I'm not asking you to make a career of martial arts.' said Kakarot 'Just buy some to get a bit stronger for health reasons. It can't hurt, and it's not that bad. The first couple of days its a bit difficult, but then it gets really easy. Just start light and maybe work your way up later.'

'No! There is no way you'll talk me into this!' snapped Bulma.

'How did you talk me into this?' Moaned Bulma as she languished with every step forward. She was wearing far more weight that Kakarot thought she would have dared take on. Despite himself, he was impressed. Her capacity to cause herself needless misery amazed him. Yamcha had a similar expression of pain as he struggled to keep moving in the hot sun while weighted down. He was wearing fifty kilos. For Kakarot, it was mildly unpleasant and inconvenient. Which meant for them, it must have been agony.

'Shut up,' said Kakarot 'misery builds character.'

'So Kakarot,' said Krillin, 'do you just enjoy causing your friends suffering?'

'To a degree,' admitted Kakarot 'but it's for their own good.'

'You know,' said Krillin 'I'm really looking forward to not having to put up with you for a while.'

'The feeling is entirely mutual.' said Kakarot.

'Yes, it will be nice to be able to watch television again.' reflected Roshi.

'Speak not of the black arts in my presence!' snapped Kakarot.

'How… how did you wear this stuff for eight months?' asked Yamcha, hands shaking.

'Ya get used to it.' said Launch.

'That's it,' said Bulma 'I'm taking these off!'

'Go ahead,' said Kakarot 'prove my point. Make my day.'

Bulma stopped short before looking at him with narrowed eyes. 'I hate you.'

'I know.' said Kakarot, thinking to himself that she looked good in the vest. Then again, Bulma could make anything look good.

They said goodbye to Chi Chi, the Ox King, Master Roshi, and Krillin and reached the plane. After an hour or so of flying to the mainland, they reached a dusty airport and set out via car for West City. The ride was rough with countless bumps as they passed many barren plateaus and cliffs.

Bulma was not amused. 'Are you trying to hit every hole in the street or what?!' she cried to Yamcha from the passenger's seat.

'Actually, there is no street,' said Yamcha in irritation. 'that's why its called off-road driving and I'm doing the best I can! You can take the wheel any time you want!'

'Oh, can I?' asked Bulma sarcastically. 'Anything would be better than this torture.'

Puar and Launch watched from the back seat. 'I've never seen Bulma this upset.' said Puar.

'She does seem a tad irritable.' said Blue Launch.

Bulma looked back. 'I am not upset! Got it! This is me happy!'

Launch and Puar stared. '…Well, that's nice, I suppose.' said Blue Launch.

'BE QUIET!' snapped Bulma.

For his part, Kakarot was more interested in the dragon radar. He was fiddling around with it while trying to see how it worked. As he did so, he noticed a blinking sound. At that moment, he saw on the screen something which renewed his hopes. It and set him once more on the path to this world's destruction.

'Hey guys,' he said, 'there is a dragonball on the radar.'

'Really?' said Puar.

'What's a dragonball?' asked Launch.

'Do you want to go after it?' asked Kakarot.

'Seems like kind of a lot of work when we don't even have a wish.' said Bulma.

'Oh come one,' said Kakarot 'I've meant to reclaim the four-star dragonball at some point anyway. It could be uh… fun.'

'You're a terrible liar Kakarot. What do you want to wish for?'

'I don't know,' said Kakarot, 'I was thinking immortality as a next step now that we have agelessness.'

'Um, excuse me,' said Launch. 'but I don't even know what a dragonball is.'

'Its one of seven magical artifacts,' said Bulma. 'You gather them all together, and you can make a wish upon a magical dragon that will be granted.'

'Any wish?' asked Launch.

'No,' said Kakarot. 'There are restrictions. But you can wish for a lot of things.'

'I think it sounds like fun searching for it.' said Launch.

'Ugh…' said Bulma 'fine, give me the radar Kakarot. We'll see where it leads.'

Kakarot handed in the radar, and Bulma took it before looking over it. 'Okay, so the ball is some seventy miles or so out of our way. It shouldn't be a huge detour.'

Pilaf dreamed that he was standing in front of his castle-like before. Then a giant monkey appeared and began to crush it, breaking it to pieces before his very eyes. Pilaf could do nothing but watch, watch as the monkey destroy the castle and then turned on him. He screamed in fear as the beast descended on him.

And then he awoke with a slipper on his face. Removing the slipper, he saw Shu's face staring at him upside down. 'Hey, you're safe sire, I'm right here.'

How to save face? Pilaf arose quickly. 'Well, nothing like a good stretch on the floor to get you really worked up, you know!'

'Its okay sire,' said Shu 'crying is therapeutic.'

'I've never shed a tear in my life, Shu!' snapped Pilaf, before turning away. 'Go!'

'But sire, I have good news!' said Shu 'We've picked up a dragonball on the radar! The signal is very strong!' Pilaf whirled round. 'It's about a hundred and fifty miles away in the southwest!'

'Really?' said Pilaf eagerly.

'Uh-huh,' said Shu.

Overcome with emotion; Pilaf looked up at the ceiling unsteadily.

'Are you crying again, sire?' asked Shu.

Pilaf whacked Shu over the head with his slipper. 'You fool I was obviously laughing!' Then he turned to his portrait of Shenron. 'You are my true inspiration. With you by my side, the whole world will be mine.'

'I was talking to the dragon!' snapped Pilaf. 'Now get Mai, we're going after that dragonball! Set Pilaf's death fortress on course to the location of the dragonball!'

Meanwhile, twenty miles from their target destination, a military convey drove on. There were several tanks among them, and a car at the front-loaded with men holding guns. They wore tan outfits, with an emblem with the letter RR. They kicked up a veritable cloud of dust as they passed cacti and large stones. They crushed everything that got in their way.

For his part, the boy thief was just hungry, and not at all interested in a military convey. 'Oh, I wish I had something to eat…' he stood up. 'yeah well, lying here all day isn't going to make my belly full. Guess that means its time to go to work.'

He found a group of saps practicing martial arts, though the two girls were pretty. Unfortunately, there was a cat watching their stuff. So he snuck around and found some isolated equipment. However, when he tried to pick the bag up, it was heavy. He strained against it, but he could scarcely lift it.

He heard paddling from the nearby water. Someone was coming.

Panicking, the thief snatched up a watch-like device along and ran off.

At midday, Yamcha pulled the car to a halt. They got out by a scenic lake amidst a large patch of green which stood as a sharp contrast to the deserts. They got out their provisions and ate a swift lunch, and after they were done with that, Bulma stretched.

'I think I'm going to go take a dip in the lake, you guys.'

'Come to think of it,' said Kakarot. 'I could afford to wash off this sweat.'

'Girls first,' said Bulma before walking behind the car.

'I think I'll go with her.' said Blue Launch.

Kakarot looked down. 'Why did they go behind the car?'

'They probably wants to change in private.' said Puar.

'Hmm, well to each their own.' reflected Kakarot 'I hope they hurry up before- Whoa.'

He said whoa because at that moment Bulma came around the car with Launch. Both were clad in nothing but two-piece bikinis. Said bikinis clung to their substantial curves as much as could be wished. Kakarot stared as they made their way into the lake, their hips swaying as they dove into the water and began to swim. He glanced to Yamcha, whose face had gone beat red.

'You are a lucky man.' said Kakarot.

'I know.' said Yamcha.

Bulma and Launch took thirty minutes to finish up before they finally emerged. They dried themselves off with towels. 'Alright,' said Bulma, 'you can go in.'

'Sure, yeah,' said Kakarot, making his way into the woods.

Setting down his power pole and dragon radar, he stripped down and dove into the water. From where he was doing so, he looked up and saw from afar that Yamcha was teaching Launch the basics of martial arts. And Bulma had ended up joining in the impromptu lesson, probably to keep an eye on Launch. What made the whole thing impressive was the fact that Yamcha had convinced them to do it while clad in bikinis.

Smooth. This particular view was one Kakarot would treasure. Yamcha was starting them out with the very basics and moving from there. Kakarot very much doubted that Bulma would end up becoming a martial artist. But some basic self-defense was not unreasonable.

Enjoying the cool feeling of the water, Kakarot swam to the far end of the pool. He then turned around and swam back to where he had left his things. He quickly got dressed again, and then he missed the dragon radar. And his power pole.

He made his way to where the others were. 'Did any of you take my power pole?' he asked.

'No,' said Yamcha, 'I've been here.'

'Yeah, Kakarot,' said Bulma, blushing. 'we've been a bit busy.'

'Then someone has stolen it and the dragon radar.' said Kakarot 'I know how I can find them. Power pole extend!'

At that moment a great red pole rose up from the trees, and Kakarot chased after it. Before long it fell from sight, but not before Kakarot had homed in on the thief. He found the power pole lying abandoned on the ground and picked it up. 'No dragon radar though.' He glanced up to where the others were coming through the trees. 'Yamcha, Launch you used to be criminals, any ideas on how I can track down stolen property?'

'Can't help ya, kid.' said Blonde Launch 'I usually just sort of blew the place up and stole the goods. Usually, I'd just throw the stuff away once the euphoria wore off. It was the challenge I was after, not the profit.'

'He'd need a fence,' said Yamcha, 'which means that we should head to a nearby town and see what we can find.'

'You do that,' said Kakarot, seeing a shoe lying on the ground. Picking it up, he sniffed it, and then cast it aside. 'I'm going to see if I can track down the thief by scent.'

'What are you, a bloodhound?' asked Bulma in amusement.

'With the way this fool reeks, anyone could track him by scent.' said Kakarot as he unslung his power pole from his back. 'Power pole extend!'

And with that, he was off.

The jeep drove onwards, followed by the troop's carrier tanks. Colonel Silver remained silent as he watched the insignificant village come into view. By what freak accident had the dragonball come into this miserable little hovel. No matter, he had a task to complete.

He called the jeep to a halt and stepped out of it. They would first need to make an example to this town and show them exactly who they were dealing with. And what the consequences of a refusal to comply would be.

The troop carrier opened up to reveal many men in the tan uniforms of the red ribbon army, carrying guns. Silver motioned them forward with an absent gesture, and they rushed forward. The door was kicked in, and his men filed into the home. Silver followed after them and found that the family had been having lunch. A cup had been dropped and rolled near to where he stood.

The family cowered as it was herded into a corner, hemmed in by loaded guns.

'Good afternoon,' said Silver, 'you'll have to excuse the temper of my men. We've been traveling all day, and it's left them a bit… irritable.' He sniffed and took in a scent. 'Hmm, something smells good. But I can't stay for dinner; works got me swamped. You see I'm searching for something called a dragonball.' He set one hand to the cup and moved it back and forth with the sole of his shoe. 'Perhaps you good people could tell me where it is. Before something bad happens.' Then he crushed the cup underfoot for effect.

A child cried out in fear as he clutched his mother.

'Please, leave us alone.' said the husband. 'We don't have what you're looking for.'

Silver was not surprised. He hadn't come here looking for a dragonball. The likelihood that these peasants would have it was slim to none. He came here to show people that the Red Ribbon Army meant business. 'Really?' he asked before his smile faded. 'Pity. Its a shame to raise children in a broken home.' He looked to his men. 'Destroy everything!'

Then he turned to walk away. The sound of shattered glass, breaking wood and screams of fear and horror was the sound of a job well done. A window shattered behind him as he walked back to the jeep.

The fence was a portly man with brown hair in his mid-fifties. He wore a red vest and was clad in a white button-down shirt. His pants were brown, and he was sitting in a rocking chair reading the news when a voice cried out:

'Hey, Mr!' called a familiar street rat.

'Hey, you again,' said the fence as the kid approached. 'Don't come any closer, you smell.'

'So…' said the street rat, raising a strange device with a green screen. 'what do you think of this baby?' The fence took it and looked over it. 'Pricy stuff, huh?'

'Maybe,' admitted the fence, 'maybe not.' Yet what he thought was: 'This gizmo could be worth millions for all I know. Whatever it is, it must be something important.'

'How much will you pay me for it?' asked the street rat.

The fence thought about how likely that street rat was to know what this thing was? He decided that it was slim to none, which gave him the advantage. 'This thing? Ten zeni, and that's because I like you, kid.'

'Ten zeni?' asked the kid. 'Ten zeni! For what? The strap?!'

'Hey!' said the fence. 'I'm trying to be nice here kid; you don't even know what this thing is so how am I supposed to sell it? You're lucky I'm paying you that much for it! Ten zeni, take it, or leave it.'

The street rat turned away. 'Some deal,' he muttered, 'alright ten zeni.' He put out one hand.

The fence smiled. 'Smart boy.' And he tossed him ten zeni, which the boy caught. 'Enjoy!'

'Yeah,' said the street rat 'no more onion sandwiches for this kid!' And he ran off. 'See ya! Wouldn't want to be ya!'

The fence chuckled. 'Take a bath.' Then he looked up to see a blue-skinned little man donning a crown. He was accompanied by an attractive dark-haired woman in a trench coat.

'So what do you think?' asked the blue-skinned man. 'Too much? Do you think it would clash with my outfit?'

'No,' said the woman, 'It brings out your color, sir.'

The fence arose and became a friendly shopkeeper as he approached. 'Hello, I must say you're making an excellent choice today! That crown is over three hundred years old; it was worn by Alexander the Great! He built a kingdom to the north of us, and now it looks to have chosen a successor!'

The blue-haired man took off the crown and looked at the crown. 'According to this label, his nickname must have been Ralph.' The sarcasm was evident in his tone, and he gave the shopkeeper a look asking him how stupid he thought he was.

'It is the symbol of power worn by many great historical figures, your majesty.' said the shopkeeper, smile unfading.

'Eh hehe,' said the blue man with a smile, flattered.

'Why don't we step into my parlor where its cooler so that we can discuss the matter.' said the shopkeeper.

'That would be fine.' said the blue man.

'Pilaf may I remind you that we don't have time to shop today?' asked the black-haired woman.

'That's Emperor Pilaf,' said the blue man, 'and I can't rule the world without a proper crown.'

Hook. Line. And sinker.

'Right this way.' said the man.

Kakarot in the meantime was pole vaulting his way through town. His search led him to the outskirts of town, where he smelled it all the stronger. He covered his nose. It was times like this that he wished he didn't have such a sense of smell.

Then he saw the boy, clad in ratty old garments, unwashed and munching on a number of meats with ravenous hunger. Kakarot approached as the kid finished his meal until his shadow was standing over the boy.

'Having a nice meal?' asked Kakarot.

'You can't have any!' snapped the boy. 'Its mine!'

He didn't have the dragon radar on him. 'I need some information.'

'Yeah,' said the boy 'whats in it for me?'

Kakarot smiled in a friendly fashion. Then he reached forward and gripped him by the throat before hauling him up. Unfortunately, Kakarot was much shorter than the boy. So he was unable to lift him off the ground. In annoyance, Kakarot set his power pole to the ground. 'Good question.'

Then he leaped high into the air, dragging the boy with him. As he reached the pinnacle of their leap, Kakarot let go of him, and they began to fall. 'Let's talk business.'

'Oh my god!' said the boy 'Please no! I'll do anything!'

'But what specifically do you want for anything?' asked Kakarot.

'Don't let me fall! Please don't let me die!'

'Are you sure?' asked Kakarot.

'Please, please! I'm begging you!' cried the boy.

'Agreed,' said Kakarot 'power pole extend.' He shot the pole downwards which lodged itself in the earth. Grabbing the boy and halting his fall by the jacket. 'Now, where is my dragon radar?'

'I sold your thing to a shopkeeper!' cried the boy. 'He gave me ten zeni. I'll give it to you if you want.'

'No,' said Kakarot 'where is the shopkeeper? And how do I get there?'

The boy gave him directions.

The weights were still just as unpleasant as they had been, to begin with. Bulma had been hoping she'd get used to them, but in the past few hours, they had only seemed to get heavier. Except for every time she tried to take them off, Kakarot would give her a look of expectancy. One that said he expected her to give up. The only time he didn't was when she got into her bikini to wash herself off. Learning some basic moves of martial arts had been fun. Especially since she'd had an excuse not to wear those damn weights. At this point, Bulma was keeping the weights on simply to prove him wrong. From the looks of things, Yamcha had too. She'd seen him scratching at the vest every so often.

For now, however, she was sitting in the passenger's seat, looking out the window. They crossed into a sleepy town where Yamcha meant to find the fence. They pulled to a halt and got out of the car. Yamcha locked it and turned to her.

'Alright guys,' said Yamcha 'we'll split up and look for any shops which sell odds and ends. The sort of place which has a wide variety of things from a lot of different places. That's where we'll find our fence and the dragon radar. With any luck, we should find the dragon radar somewhere around here.'

Bulma looked around and realized that everyone here was afraid. It was just like things had been when they faced monster carrot. Then her eyes fell upon a house. Its windows had been broken, and shattered glass stood outside of it. A woman was using a broken broom to sweep it away into a dustbin.

'You guys go on ahead,' said Bulma, 'I've got to check something out.'

She made her way forward to the women, who looked up. 'Yes, can I help you?'

'I… what happened here? Who did this to you?'

'Colonel Silver, who else,' said the woman. 'They broke into our home looking for something called a dragonball. When he found out we didn't have it, he had his goons smash everything.'

'I'm sorry,' said Bulma.

'Believe me, young lady, it could have been worse.' said the woman 'There have been times when entire families were lined up against the wall. I've seen it happen.' She sighed. 'It will cost a fortune to replace what we've lost.'

It was at that moment that Bulma realized she could help. Drawing out her checkbook, she drew out a pen and scribbled out some numbers and a signature. She tore out the check and passing it to the women. The women stared at it in awe. 'Is that enough?' asked Bulma.

'I… this… I can't accept this much money!' said the woman. 'I mean it would bankrupt you, wouldn't it?'

'Its no problem,' said Bulma, 'think of it as a gift.'

'You'd give this much money to someone, to help them out?' asked the women. 'I don't know how to ever repay you! I… I need to go put this somewhere safe right away!'

She ran off, and Bulma turned to walk away. She felt… actually pretty good. She'd never wanted for money in her life, so it was no loss. And she had helped those people. She put her hands in her pockets and went to look for Yamcha.

'That was very kind of you, Bulma.' said Puar.

'Yeah, I guess.' said Bulma. 'Well, I am an extremely generous person, after all. We'd better tell Yamcha about this General Silver.'

The inside of the shop was filled with a massive collection of antiques, artifacts, urns, and jars. A suit of armor stood at the far end, and the illumination came almost entirely from the windows. The shopkeeper welcomed them kindly. 'As you can see, we have much more than crowns to choose from.' he said. 'Take your time; we have the finest selection of antiques anywhere. You have my word.'

'It is an impressive collection,' said Pilaf 'but what I am looking for can't be found in any antique shop.'

'You search for something unique,' said the shopkeeper. 'something rare and out of the ordinary?'

'Extraordinary with the power to rule the world!' cried Pilaf, laughing.

Mai, however, looked rather doubtful. 'Why don't you put it on a billboard.'

'I see,' said the shopkeeper, 'there is one item that possesses such potential. A powerful relic inherited by kings, one after another for thousands of years.' He turned to the shelf and began to rummage around dramatically.

'So if only kings have held this treasure, then it is my obligation to own it!' cried Pilaf in delight, his eyes distant and his thoughts far away.

'If you were not a king,' said the shopkeeper 'I wouldn't even have mentioned it. We can't have peasants taint what belongs to royalty. It is said whoever attains it is master over all creation and wields enough power to dominate the world. Life itself would bow to your will.' He glanced back. 'Domination over the entire world.'

'No more monkeys!' cried Pilaf aloud, before a horrific thought made itself known. 'It can control monkey beasts, can't it?'

'Absolute power,' said the shopkeeper as he got off the ladder with a smile. 'and its even gift wrapped.' He offered Pilaf a violet box, which the Emperor took breathlessly.

Opening it, Pilaf saw the four-star dragonball gleaming before him.

Pilaf took it within his hands. 'A dragonball! You were right, Mai!'

'Thanks,' said Mai 'I usually am, sir.'

'Now lets talk price,' said the shopkeeper. 'I'm a reasonable man-'

Pilaf tossed several thousand zeni at him. 'Is that enough?'

It was indeed.

Kakarot found his way to a shop and noted a birds nest perched atop a green overhang. No one was outside, and as he reached the store, he looked around. 'This certainly fits the description the boy gave.' Then he saw the dragon radar and smiled. 'Found it!' He moved forward to seize it. As he looked at it though, he blinked. 'Huh, it shows the dragonball is right here.'

A familiar laugh came to his ears right near him. 'Haha, that fool didn't even know what he had! We're off to good start Mai, at this rate I'll be ruling the-'

Kakarot looked up to see Emperor Pilaf at right about the same time Emperor Pilaf looked up to see him. There was a long awkward silence. Kakarot stood up straight.

'So,' he said, 'Emperor Pilaf, we meet again.'

'Monster!' cried Pilaf. 'Don't come any closer! This dragonball is mine, you hear me! I bought it fair, and square monkey boy so step off!'

'Am I supposed to care how you got it?' asked Kakarot. 'Hand it over.'

'Get your own!' snapped Pilaf, before he and Mai drew out guns and opened fire.

Kakarot leaped aside from the bullets as the two of them ran for it. Yet he quickly headed after them. As he chased them, however, darkness suddenly fell over the sun. He looked up to see a massive floating fortress hovering overhead. Turrets turned to face him as he slowed to glance up.

The sound of heavy gunfire echoed as exploding round landed around him. It forced him to duck for cover as an explosion of fire and dirt was kicked up. At the same time, a great arm descended and plucked Mai and Pilaf from the ground. It brought them into the floating fortress which floated away into the sky beyond sight.

Kakarot arose to his feet. His power pole couldn't reach that high. 'You win this round, Pilaf.' He hissed.

In the aftermath of their victory, Mai had to be a downer. 'Sir there is a problem with the dragon radar.'

'What kind of problem?' asked Pilaf.

'The readings we're getting from the radar don't make any sense.' explained Mai. 'Our position is here. But the radar says that the dragon radar signal is occurring outside the ship.'

Pilaf looked to the dragonball in his hands, doubt suddenly seizing his heart. Had he been duped?

Colonel Silver was here looking for a dragonball. And the fence had one. In fact, he had several hundred ones of glass. It was just waiting to be foisted off on anyone stupid enough to believe in old fairy stories. 'It just so happens I have such an artifact,' said the fence, 'wait just here, and I'll be back in a moment.'

He made his way to the back and opened a case where he kept the fake dragonballs. He drew out a replica of the four-star ball. 'This should do the trick.' He said. Then it occurred to him that he was trying to cheat some rough customers.

He picked up his gun and slipped it into his belt. 'Just in case.'

He made his way back and pressed the dragonball into Colonel Silver's brown gloved hand with a smile. 'Here you are. I trust this is the piece you're looking for, eh?'

General Silver's severe expression did not change as he brought up the dragonball to his face. Then he dropped it. 'Not quite.'

The dragonball shattered into a hundred pieces of glass.

'You lied.' said Colonel Silver, matter of factly, advancing with a threat in his tone.

The shopkeeper stepped back fearfully. 'No wait, that was the real deal! Honest! The dragonballs are fragile antiques! Priceless!'

'Dragonball: Priceless, and unbreakable.' stated Silver simply.

'But I uh…' began the fence.

However, Silver's men moved forward and began to rummage around. 'It's here somewhere,' said Silver, 'buried in all this crap. Think very carefully; the next words you say could determine the quality of the rest of your life.'

'I uh… I uh…'

'Times up, old man.' said Colonel Silver. 'Do it.'

Two of Silver's men advanced on the shopkeeper and seized, him. But in desperation, the shopkeeper shook them off! He drew his pistol, kept in reserve, and raised it towards Silver. Yet Silver was faster.

Three gunshots echoed throughout town. It sent a nest of birds fleeing for their lives. 'A boring conversation anyway,' said Silver, glancing to his men. 'find it.'

It was business as usual in the Red Ribbon army.

Authors Note:

Sorry, this chapter is so late. Ordinarily I write chapters the day before I post them; however, I chose to take a break on my birthday. Probably had something to do with someone flaming me. They literally wished me dead because they didn't like the story. Overreaction much? I've removed the review, so don't bother looking for it.

Anyway, this chapter actually contains content from two separate episodes. At first, it was going to be adapting the episode The Roaming Lake, but I decided that I would cut that episode partially because it is irrelevant. But also because it turns Nam into a damsel in distress. One who has to be rescued by Goku.

Also, did I add fanservice into the story instead of taking it out? Truly these are the end of times.

This chapter really marks where we get into the Red Ribbon Army arc. The arc where I believe the primary flaws of dragonball became prominent. Before that point, the story gave other characters a chance to do cool stuff and shine. However, the Red Ribbon army arc goes out of its way to make sure that only Goku gets to be awesome. It doesn't entirely succeed, but it has a decent go at it.

I've already made it clear that I like the side characters, so obviously this is going to be a group effort. Kakarot is not the only person whose going to get awesome moments in this arc, that I promise you.

That said, the next chapter will be the last one in a while. See, I only own the first season of Dragonball, which means that I'm going to have to buy the second one before I can make any more progress on this fic. And I actually do have other fics I have to pay attention to in the meantime. So it might be a couple of months before I get to the second season.

Oh and don't worry, I have no plans for Bulma to become a front line fighter. I just thought the idea of her learning a bit of martial arts might be nice. One big difference between Kakarot and Goku is that Kakarot wants his friends and rivals to be as strong as him. Goku enjoys a good fight but doesn't really do much to help his friends get stronger.

I hope you all had a merry Christmas, and that you will have a happy new year!

Edit:

Changes General Silver to Colonel Silver as it is in the dub. My mistake. I also added a few lines between paragraphs to differentiate where they start and stop.