Chapter Forty Two 42: The Meaning of Life

The climb up to the great amusement park in the sky gave them a clear look at the city stretching out far below them. It was quite interesting, to see everything so small below him. Yet even more interesting were the stairs beneath his feet.

'Moving stairs?' asked Kakarot 'Now that is something I wasn't expecting.'

Realizing he had gotten rather far ahead of the others he began stepping backward experimentally, so that he remained still in place while his friends drew steadily nearer. Soon enough he halted as he came alongside Puar.

'Hey Kakarot, what do you think the meaning of life is?' asked Puar.

'To crush your enemies, to see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentations of their women.' Kakarot answered instantly.

'I probably should have expected that kind of answer.' mused Puar sadly.

Far behind Bulma and Yamcha were remaining silent, not speaking to one another. Gradually as they drew nearer the top, an enthusiastic sort of music began to play around them. Soon even Bulma had forgotten the spat as they came into a great hall flashing with countless lights on a black background. They marveled and sighed in wonder as they raced by him.

'This is really cool.' said Puar.

'My god… its full of stars!' said Bulma. Silence as everyone stared at her. 'Really? I… I'm the only one. Has nobody here seen A Space Odyssey?'

'I grew up in the woods eating fish, what were you expecting?' asked Kakarot.

'I had a very sheltered upbringing.' said Puar.

'I grew up in the desert robbing people.' said Yamcha.

'I'm still not talking to you Yamcha!' shouted Bulma.

They came out into the open into a wide open field beneath a dome of glass. Many buildings could be seen here and there, and in the center Kakarot saw a great spire of marble, and standing atop it was a women with her hand raised to the sky. 'She truly is beautiful, I wonder how she was turned to stone.'

'Thats a statue, Kakarot.' said Bulma.

'And she was clearly transformed into a statue by the same witch that ensnared Master Roshi with a television! Probably with some kind of wand! Does her depravity know no bounds! What is next, always winter and never christmas?!'

'I'm just going to give up now.' said Bulma.

They came before a wall with a gate that was barred by a violet haired women in a green outfit. 'Welcome everyone,' she said 'please have your tickets ready.'

'Where are they?' asked Puar.

'I have them,' said Bulma, searching through her pockets.

Kakarot walked forward.

'Welcome to dreamland,' she said 'tickets please- hey!'

Kakarot passed ten thousand zeni into her hand. 'I don't need to follow the rules. I have money.'

'Um… okay.' said the women 'You know, I could probably just buy a ticket with some of this for you and then I wouldn't have to break the rules.'

'Don't worry,' said Bulma 'I already have tickets for him.' She handed them in, and they walked onwards.

'That was really generous of your, Kakarot.' said Puar.

'Its just money,' said Kakarot 'a bit of ink squirted onto paper to symbolize the abstract concept which is currency. I'm entirely self sufficient and I don't really need it. So why be stingy?'

'Where did you get that kind of cash anyway?' asked Bulma.

'Oh I met up with Oolong and scheduled a fight.' said Kakarot 'He took some bets, I won the prize money, and we both made a killing.'

'Oolong?' said Bulma. 'You mean that pig who was kidnapping young girls in that village and scamming people?'

'Thats the one,' said Kakarot.

'Weren't you bullied by a pig named Oolong in shapeshifting class?' asked Yamcha.

'Yeah,' said Puar 'but he was expelled for stealing the teachers panties.'

Meanwhile far behind on the stairs, Hasky was following behind. Mentally she scanned over her options, trying to come up with a means by which she could achieve the dragonballs. As she came to the top, she noticed that there was someone requesting tickets. Quickly walking forward, she swiped tickets from a group of passerby's all three, just to prove she could, and made her way through the line.

She was somewhat annoyed by the lack of praise. She hadn't really needed those goons for her operation, but having an audience to flatter her was appealing. And now said audience had been hung up by its entrails. She felt a bit insecure about that.

No, she could do this. She was a Master Thief.

She tagged on after them for some time, riding a rollercoaster in the process. As she did so, she found the sensation of the air flowing past her dull. She'd been in far more thrilling straights. She watched as Kakarot practiced balancing on top of a giant ball. As an experiment, Hasky removed a walnut from her bag and hurled it at the glass. It bounced off and soared towards Kakarot's head from behind. Yet Hasky realized it seemed to be going almost in slow motion. She could follow its ascent the whole way.

She could see as Kakarot moved his hand up and caught it. She really should have expected that, he was too clever for that kind if trick. Yet she wondered why she felt a sense of familiarity with him. With all of them.

The whole group, she felt like she knew them as more than just marks. It was odd.

Kakarot had been having a surprising amount of fun at the amusement park. It had drawn out that oddly innocent side of his which had manifested itself when working with Eighter. Then someone threw something at him and he caught it. He looked at the walnut and at once glanced around. Yet he saw nothing. As he did so, Puar made her way up to him.

'Whats wrong, Kakarot? Why did you stop?'

'I feel like we're being watched.' admitted Kakarot.

'Well there are thousands of people here.' mused Puar.

'Yeah,' said Kakarot 'you're right. Its probably nothing.'

'This is going to be much easier than I thought.' said Hasky from where she was hiding. 'No problem, I've got this.' She paused. 'Stop talking to yourself!'

Yamcha and Bulma were giving each other the silent treatment. Yamcha was sitting by a table, nursing a soda while Bulma was standing some distance away, staring into a mirror. After a time, Kakarot made his way up to Yamcha's table and sat down, sipping a soda of his own. Silence stood between them.

'So, I notice you and Bulma don't seem in any hurry to get back together again.' noted Kakarot in a voice of sympathy. 'Have you considered setting her free?'

'Why?' asked Yamcha, eyes narrowing in suspicion.

'Well if she really loves you, she'll come back.' mused Kakarot.

'Yeah, it sounds like it might work with homing pigeons but not girls.' Bulma glanced back and walked off in a huff.

'You know, complaining does not appeal to anyone, male or female Yamcha.' said Kakarot.

Yamcha looked up. 'Complaining? I never complain! Do I complain about how every time we meet you've committed some new atrocity on your fellow man?! Do you complain about how you turn into a giant monkey and constantly try to destroy my world?!'

'Our world.' mused Kakarot.

'Yes, our world!' said Yamcha 'Where I do have a problem is your plan to ruin my relationship with Bulma?!'

'You seem to be doing a pretty good job of ruining it yourself.' mused Kakarot 'I merely put her into a position to hear you talking about her behind her back. The words you spoke were your own.'

'Why you-'

'Excuse me,' said a smooth british accent.

It was at this moment that a beautiful blonde haired women, wearing a pink headdress and pink baggy pants under a black vet and baggy white shirt appeared, sitting down very near to Yamcha.

'Launch?' said Kakarot 'What the hell are you doing here? I thought you were off robbing banks not impersonating theme park staff.'

'I… don't think thats Launch, Kakarot.' said Yamcha 'I mean she looks a bit similar but uh…'

'She smells exactly the same.' replied Kakarot.

'I'm terribly sorry, little boy.' said Launch. 'You seem to have mistaken me for someone else. I am a traveling seer, and I can see into the hearts and minds of those who I meet to know their destiny.

Do you have a destiny? If you will allow me, I shall help you learn.'

Kakarot closed his eyes and sighed. 'Okay, I guess you at some point picked up a third split personality. I'm game, tell me my… ahem… destiny.'

'Right this way.' said Launch.

Later within an elaborate domed palace with three towers and a onion shaped roof, Launch was sitting in front of them with a crystal ball before her upon a violet cushion. A background was behind them of stars and planets.

'Wow,' said Yamcha 'you really can tell a persons fortune?'

'Yes,' said Launch 'so could my great grandmother. I guess I got the talent from her.'

'Who did you murder so you could make all this up?!' asked Kakarot, almost impressed. Almost.

'I can see both the past and the future.' said Launch. 'Everything.'

'Okay, I'm leaving.' said Kakarot.

'Why don't you let her tell your fortune, Kakarot?' asked Yamcha.

'Why would I want to waste money on that?' asked Kakarot.

'You said that money didn't matter to you.' said Puar.

'Which should give you an idea of of just how little regard I have for Launch's fortune telling skills.' mused Kakarot.

'I told you,' said Launch 'my names not Launch! Now do you want your fortune told or not?!'

'No!' said Kakarot. 'No I don't want my fortune told, because future sight is completely useless! Lets say I see a vision that this entire place is going to blow up! And I become obsessed with preventing this place from blowing up! The only result will be that I will indirectly create the situation which leads to it blowing up!

I don't need the stress!'

'Oh.' said Launch 'Are you quite sure, because I had rather banked everything on you saying yes?'

'Positive,' said Kakarot 'now drop the accent will you?'

'Okay,' said Launch 'okay I can improvise.' She stood up and opened the top to an urn, before hauling a bald man bound and gagged out of it and setting an armor piercing pistol to his skull. 'Hand over the dragonballs or I blow the real fortunetellers brains out!'

Absolute silence.

'Well that was abrupt.' said Puar.

'Ha!' said Kakarot 'I told you she was Launch! Thats the same gun Launch took from General White!'

'Maybe you don't hear so good!' snapped Launch, some measure of her usual voice creeping in. 'Hand over the dragonballs!'

'See, this is more in character for you.' mused Kakarot.

'Kakarot this is serious!' said Yamcha 'She has that guy hostage!'

'Eh, its no problem.' said Kakarot 'I don't know him, and we already established that nobody wanted their fortunes told.'

'Its a problem for him!' snapped Launch, putting the gun near the mans eye.

'Yeah,' said Kakarot 'but I don't care.'

Silence once again. Launch looked at Kakarot hard, and Kakarot put his hands in his pocket and began to whistle without concern. Then he looked at her. 'So are you going to kill this guy or what? I've got places to-'

At that moment Puar transformed into a towel and wrapped herself around Launch's face. The fake fortune teller dropped her gun and grasped at Puar, pulling her off and throwing her against the curtain, which fell down and landed with a crash, covering Puar. Then Yamcha was upon her.

'Wolf fang fist!'

British Launch was slammed hard and sent flying against the wall, which cracked with the force. She landed with a crash, stunned and Yamcha halted. 'You okay Puar?'

'Yes,' said Puar as she emerged. 'just a little stunned.'

'That was some quick thinking you did.' said Yamcha 'Lets get this guy untied and call the police.'

'Yeah, lets not put Launch in jail.' said Kakarot 'I don't imagine that she'll be staying there very long, and she'll be rather annoyed with us.'

'Ugh…' said Launch, voice returning to that of her blonde self. 'what the hell happened? And… why I am dressed in this stupid outfit! What the hell is the big idea you punks?!'

'Launch?!' said Yamcha in surprise. 'Its really you?'

'Who else would I be?' asked Blonde Launch 'Hey, what the hells going on here? Usually I'm the one who makes a mess that Blue Launch wakes up to. This is real non standard ya dig.'

'Um…' Yamcha paused. 'you manifested a third personality with a british accent that kidnapped a fortune teller, took his place in an elaborate attempt to steal Kakarot's dragonballs. When that fell through you took the fortune teller hostage, and I had to wolf fang fist you into the wall.'

'And I helped.' said Puar.

'And thats just hilarious.' said Kakarot 'Because it was so totally unnecessarily elaborate. You could have just picked my pocket like you did to those other guys, gotten the dragonball that way and been long gone before anyone was the wiser.

This plan was way too complicated.'

'I don't make plans.' said Launch 'I let my gun do the talking. Now we'd better make sure the fortune teller over there doesn't talk.'

'On it,' said Kakarot before walking up to the still gagged man. 'now here's the deal. You never tell anyone about what happened here today and you'll walk out of here with just one broken bone. Well maybe more than that, eh no more than six. Actually I'm not really sure I should say, because Launch is gonna want to break your fingers and who knows what I'm going to do to you.

So your going to die, we get off scot free and everyone is happy. Except you of course, but no one cares what you think. And don't worry, your family will be completely safe. For awhile, but for your information I intend to obliterate this wretched world soon enough, so just be glad your miserable life will be cut short before you can witness the untold horrors I shall inflict upon the unworthy-'

Launch shoved Kakarot aside. 'Don't listen to him! Keep yer mouth shut, you live! Don't, I put a bullet in yer head! Ya got me?!' She pointed a gun at his face, and the man mmphed. Launch removed his gag.

'Yes!' said the Fortune Teller. 'I understand! Just don't kill me please!'

'How the HFIL did I end up playing the good cop?!' asked Launch incredulously.

Later that afternoon the group made their way back to Capsule Corp, in contemplative silence. Launch had gone off on her own again, while Puar seemed in an absolutely foul mood. 'Kakarot,' said Puar suddenly. 'do you know why it is we never get to go anywhere nice? Because of stuff like this.'

'How is any of this my fault?' asked Kakarot.

'Guys,' said Yamcha 'I think I should go back to look for Bulma.'

'Are you kidding?' asked Kakarot 'We looked everywhere for her, she probably just got kidnapped or something its no big deal.'

'Then what is your concept of a big deal, the end of the world?!' asked Yamcha.

'I would consider that more of a long term goal than a big deal.' said Kakarot.

'Here's Bulma now.' said Puar.

Bulma looked equal parts furious and determined as she walked out. 'Alright people form up! We've got work to do!' she snapped. 'The Red Ribbon Army is trying to get the dragonballs and we're not going to let it happen!'

'Uh… when did you become the leader-' began Kakarot.

'Shut up!' snapped Bulma, before passing a dragon radar to Yamcha. 'This is a second dragon radar Yamcha. You and Puar are going to go after the dragon radar far to the north of here.' She passed a box of capsules. 'You will use this box of capsules for transportation. Kakarot and myself will head to the one in the sea around Master Roshi's island.

If all goes as planned we'll be able to steal both dragonballs before the Red Ribbon Army can lay hands on them! And when we get the dragonballs I am going to wish for a man who doesn't have a fan club! Do you understand?!'

'Yeah, I think so.' said Yamcha 'But are you sure-'

'Do you understand!' snapped Bulma.

'Yes.' said Yamcha.

Bulma turned away. 'Lets go Kakarot.'

Kakarot blinked as Bulma threw a capsule which transformed into a plane. Then he walked forward. 'I guess I'll see you guys.'

'Kakarot,' said Yamcha.

'Yeah,' said Kakarot.

'Stop killing people!'

'No promises.' said Kakarot, before, on a whim, he tossed Yamcha a dragon ball. 'Keep it safe for me, will ya?'

Thus it was that Bulma and Kakarot flew out from Capsule Corporation into the fading sunlight. The sea was bathed in red light as they flew onwards, on to another adventure. This, Kakarot reflected, was better than any amusement park.

'Alright!' said Bulma 'Forward ho! Its you and me, partner! Just like old times!'

Yes, yes it was.

Authors Note:

Well this chapter ended differently from how I was expecting. Its somewhat like the Roaming Lake, in that it needlessly demotes a cool character to loser so Goku could come in and save them, {and completely ignores the fact that Yamcha had gotten over his fear of girls by this point in the plot.} but it had enough original content for me to adapt it.

By the way I promise an explanation about Hasky and Launch being the same person is forthcoming, its just not here yet. And by the way, if you scan over previous chapters carefully, you will be able to figure out the gist of what exactly Hasky is. For those who don't want to read carefully, I will spell it out at a later date.

Just for the record, its still consistent with canon. In canon, Yamcha had never met Launch, so he had no reason to suspect her presence. Meanwhile Goku in canon… isn't exactly bright. If Krillin had been there, he probably would have detected Launch.

Also, thank god I'm done with this fucking disc! Every time I start up the DVD on my computer, I have to watch the same stupid Sergeant Frog advertisement. Every. Flipping. Time. I've been trying to get past the Hasky saga for some time now.

Now as for why I'm splitting up the group. See, upcoming is one of the sagas which gives Krillin and Bulma both a chance to shine quite effectively in a manner which rarely occurs. If I brought Puar and Yamcha along, Yamcha's higher power level would result in Krillen being demoted to extra. I have my own plans for Yamcha and Puar, just for the record, which tie into the Tien Shinhan cameo earlier in the story.

Oh and there are a number of pop culture references in this episode because why not. Enjoy and I hope to see you review.