Hope checked her reflection once more, half hoping to find some kind of flaw that would mean that she couldn't go.
The twins' 16th birthday party had been the talk of the school for the last week. Josie had specifically sought out Hope to insist that she come.
So there she was, in a dark purple ballgown, trying not to think about all the times Lizzie had talked about her Sweet Sixteen and all the birthday parties they had shared before things went south.
There was a soft knock on her door and she turned away from the mirror to open it.
"Why do I have to wear a tux?" Landon asked, tugging at his neckline.
"Because Lizzie is extra," Hope said, straightening his tie. "Thank you so much for this."
"Hey, what are friends for?" Landon said with a smile. "You look beautiful, by the way."
"Thanks." Hope took his arm and they made their way downstairs to the foyer. The party itself was going to be spread through several rooms, but Lizzie - of course - wanted her big entrance, so - of course - everyone had to gather at the bottom of the staircase and wait for them to arrive.
Penelope was waiting for them, tapping her foot impatiently. "I had to talk Josie into this."
Hope sighed. "She didn't want to?"
"She wanted to just come and wait with the rest of us," Penelope said. "Like it's not her birthday as well."
"Josie's never been as keen on being the centre of attention," Hope said.
"Yeah, because Lizzie never gives her a chance to," Penelope muttered.
The music changed and Lizzie appeared at the top of the stairs, her smile almost eclipsing the fairy lights around her.
Hope couldn't help the wistful smile that crossed her face and Landon squeezed her hand. When she glanced at him, he was looking at her with a strange smile that she didn't really want to think about right now.
She also didn't really want to think about the way her chest ached when Lizzie looked straight past her like she wasn't even there.
Under the applause and whistles, Josie followed Lizzie down the stairs, her red satin gown a sharp contrast to Lizzie's blue, and walked straight into Penelope's embrace.
"Happy Birthday, Jo-Jo," Penelope whispered.
Hope hugged Josie in her turn, repeating her words.
"Thank you," Josie said, touching the necklace that now rested against her collarbone. "It's beautiful."
"You're welcome," Hope said. "It's supposed to make quiet things heard."
"Outdo me, why don't you?" Penelope grumbled good-naturedly.
"Well, I loved your present too," Josie said. "But I can't wear it to a party."
"Do I want to know?" Hope asked.
Josie and Penelope looked at each other. "No."
The party was a huge success. As Josie finally made her way upstairs with Penelope, she heard Lizzie calling her name.
"Go on," she said. "I'll meet you in your room."
Penelope hesitated, but gave her a kiss and left Josie to deal with her sister.
"You're really going to spend tonight with Satan?" Lizzie asked. "It's our birthday."
"Lizzie, we have done everything your way today," Josie said. "I want to spend some time with my girlfriend."
"Hey, I asked your opinion," Lizzie said. "You never said a word."
"Would you have listened if I did?" Josie asked.
Lizzie's brow creased. "Of course I would. Jose …"
"Am I interrupting something?"
Josie's face lit up. "Caroline! I didn't think you'd made it!"
Caroline smiled, giving her a hug. "We had something crop up, but I would never miss your sixteenth birthday."
Lizzie dropped her gaze, murmuring a hello.
"I have something for you both," Caroline said.
"But we got your present this morning," Josie protested. "It was beautiful."
Caroline smiled sadly. "This isn't from me. It's from your mom."
That got Lizzie's attention, her eyes snapping to meet Caroline's. "From Mom?"
Caroline nodded, pulling two flash drives from her pocket. "There's one for each of you. When your mom found out that there was nothing that could be done, she made a series of recordings for me to give you at certain points in your lives. Sweet Sixteen is the first one."
Josie took the flash drive with her name on it, her fingers closing tightly around it. "Thank you."
"Thank you," Lizzie echoed quietly.
"You're welcome," Caroline said. "You two know where to find me if you need me."
"Come on then," Lizzie said to her sister as Caroline walked away.
"No," Josie said. "I want to watch this on my own."
Lizzie opened her mouth to argue, then sighed. "Fine, whatever." She turned on her heel and stalked off to their room, slamming the door behind her.
She turned the flash drive over and over in her hand, contemplating waiting until tomorrow so she could watch it with her sister.
Then again, their mother had given them two separate messages.
The more she thought, the more she realised that maybe Josie was right. Maybe they should watch them separately.
Lizzie didn't particularly want to watch it alone, but there was no one she wanted to share it with, aside from Josie.
(Or Hope, but she didn't want to think about that.)
She plugged the flash drive into her laptop and her mother's face popped up on the screen. "Happy Birthday, Lizzie-Lou."
Lizzie's hand shot out and paused the video, a sob bubbling out of her throat. No one had called her that since her mother had passed.
How had she forgotten her mother's voice?
Taking a deep breath, she pressed play again - if she didn't now, she never would.
"In an ideal world, I would be sitting next to you right now, but I know that's next to impossible. I'm trying to make sure I tell you and your sister everything you might need to know, but that's not easy. You're so young still."
Jo paused, wiping a tear away. "At the moment, you're avoiding all conversations that include anything about my illness. You get that from me, I'm afraid. My brothers and sister missed my entire pregnancy, and the first eighteen months of your lives, because I was too scared to talk to them. It's easier to avoid it than face the worse case scenario. I regret that so much. You're in no state for me to tell you all of this now; I don't think you're going to listen. So I'll tell you now.
There will be times when you'll have a conversation you're scared to have. When you've convinced yourself that the worst case scenario is the truth. Have that conversation, Lizzie. I love you."
Lizzie let out a shaky breath. "Dammit, Mom …" she muttered. "Since when were you psychic?"
The knock on the door startled Hope - her mother had left and Josie was with Penelope. It was unlikely anyone else would be visiting at this time of the evening. "Come in."
She wasn't expecting Lizzie.
"Hi," Hope said numbly.
Lizzie had kicked off her heels, but she was still wearing her dress, unlike Hope, who was in her pyjamas. "Hi."
"Um, happy birthday," Hope said. "Can't remember if I said that already."
"You did, at breakfast," Lizzie said. "I just didn't answer. So how come Josie got a present this year and I didn't?"
Hope rolled her eyes. "I've given you a present every birthday and Christmas for the last four years, and it always ends up in the trash." She turned back to the task of make-up removal. "Did you want me, or are you just seeking me out to be a bitch now?"
In the mirror, she could see Lizzie bristling, but for the first time in four years, the younger girl took a breath and settled. "Mom left me a message for my birthday. It cut a little too close to home."
"Oh?"
Lizzie sighed, folding her arms across her chest. "Yeah, I've been avoiding this conversation for four years. I want to know why."
Hope waited, but Lizzie didn't elaborate. "Why what?"
Lizzie rolled her eyes. "You know what."
"No, I really don't," Hope said. "The only thing I can think of is whatever happened four years ago, and if anything you owe me an explanation. You turned your back on me for no reason."
"No … You betrayed me!" Lizzie protested. "How is that no reason?"
"How did I betray you?" Hope demanded, turning back to face her. "Because I left? My room burnt to a crisp, Lizzie - I didn't exactly have a choice! I called and I texted and you ignored me!"
"You promised me!" Lizzie shouted. "You swore that you wouldn't tell anyone!"
Hope flicked her fingers, preventing the rest of the school from hearing the argument. "Lizzie, I have no idea what you're talking about. The only promise I made like that was when you …" She trailed off, staring at Lizzie with something akin to horror. "You told me about the diagnosis. Is that what you mean?"
"How do you forget telling the whole freaking school that I'm crazy?" Lizzie asked bitterly.
"First of all, you're not crazy," Hope said. "Secondly, I never said a word, Lizzie, I swear! I didn't even tell Mom, even though she was the one who gave your dad Dr O'Connell's number in the first place!"
Lizzie stared at her. "Why didn't … Why didn't you just confront me then?"
"I thought you'd heard one too many stories about my family," Hope admitted. "I guess I was too scared to have that conversation as well."
Lizzie seemed to deflate in front of her. "I'm so sorry."
"Hey," Hope said softly. "If you really thought I did that, then you hating me all these years makes perfect sense. But I would never have taken that promise lightly, Lizzie. Even if we weren't friends, with a father and grandmother like mine, I'm probably not immune to those issues myself. What I don't understand is why you thought I'd do that in the first place."
"Josie told me," Lizzie whispered. "She must have heard the rumours and assumed it must have been you."
Hope hesitated. "That doesn't make any sense though. She told me she didn't know why you suddenly hated me, and …" she froze, her mind connecting dots to form a picture she really didn't like.
"And what?" Lizzie asked.
"I asked her," Hope murmured, wide-eyed. "I heard the rumours too and I asked her, because you weren't talking to me. She told me you made the decision to tell everyone."
Lizzie seemed to hold her breath. Just as Hope was about to reach out to her, the younger girl turned on her heel.
"Where are you going?" Hope asked.
"Josie," Lizzie said through gritted teeth. "We need to talk."