Chapter Fiftythree: Strange Visitor

The sun had a face, eyes, a mouth a nose and was laughing. And… were those teeth? And all around them there was an air of serenity which was beyond unnatural. Kakarot couldn't conceive of what was happening? Had he inhaled fumes or something?

'Hello, what's your name?' asked the violet haired girl.

'I'm Chi Chi,' said Chi Chi 'and this is my friend Kakarot.'

'Erg…' said Kakarot, revulsion for the place around him setting in.

'My name is Arale,' said the girl, before motioning to the fairy things. 'and this is Gretchen One and Two.'

'Wow, what strange creatures.' said Chi Chi.

'Would you like to come play with us for a while?' asked Arale.

How was Kakarot supposed to respond to this? Oh yes, he knew how. 'There is nothing about this entire scenario which doesn't make me simultaneously want to puke my own entrails out and claw out my own eyes. I despise you all so intensely that I am unsure as to whether my vision is red because of inhaling fumes, or from my own unforgiving rage!

If and when I fully compose myself I will butcher you and this entire village and then paint the castle I build from your corpses with your fairy blood!'

'You hear that Gretchens?' asked Arale 'He wants to be friends.'

'Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay!'

'Kaa… mee… haa… mee..' began Kakarot, before Chi Chi stepped on his foot. 'OW! What!'

'What Kakarot is trying to say is that that sounds like a lot of fun.' said Chi Chi 'But we have to find a friend of ours who has been kidnapped.'

'Oh… who is this friend?' asked Arale.

'Her name is Bulma.' said Chi Chi 'Nimbus! Come down!'

The nimbus cloud came down and they leaped on to it before speeding off. Chi Chi looked to Kakarot reproachfully. 'You cannot go around killing people!'

'This place is unholy!' said Kakarot 'The sun has a face! The people are… indescribable! It's like someone poured all the sugar in the universe into this location! I can feel my teeth rotting!'

Bulma Briefs had survived the crash and was still tied up. She'd tried to cut the ropes on her hands using some of the wreckage, but Blue had gotten her and thrown her behind a rock. Now the blonde man was gasping for air.

'I believe I owe General White an apology.' said Blue 'I've never suffered a task as difficult as destroying that child.' Then he looked up. Bulma looked up, and saw a nimbus cloud following after them.

'Mmmph!' cried Bulma 'Mmmph!'

'Impossible!' said Blue. 'No one could have survived that fall! What are those kids made of!' He kneeled down and slung Bulma over one shoulder.

In other circumstances Bulma might have been overjoyed to be held by a man of Blue's physique. This was, ironically, her younger selfs dream. Now here she was struggling to wake up.

'Damn those children, those brats are the bane of my existence!' said Blue 'They're not going to get Briefs, or the dragonball!'

'Mmmph!' hissed Bulma.

Then he leaped off the cliff and Bulma began to panic. 'MMMPH! MMMPH! MMMPH!'

'Stop struggling.' hissed Blue as he landed. 'I could be under orders to kill you.'

Chi Chi and Kakarot found the crash site and landed, pulling away various pieces of machinery. As they did so they found nothing. Kakarot sighed.

'It looks like Blue escaped with Bulma before we could get here.' he said 'He probably took the dragonball with him. I'll admit he's a persistant adversary. Comparable even to Pilaf in cunning and ingenuity.'

'Pilaf wasn't that smart.' said Chi Chi.

'That is just what he wants you to think.' said Kakarot firmly.

'Yaaay!' cried Arale, and the Gretchens as they came up the path crying.

'How did they get here?' asked Kakarot 'We traveled like… twenty miles on a nimbus!' He cupped his hands. 'No matter. Kaaa-'

'Kakarot!' said Chi Chi firmly.

'Right, no murder.' said Kakarot 'Sorry.'

Arale reached them and Kakarot eyed her. 'Did you run all the way here?'

'Yes.' said Arale, all smiles.

'That's incredible!' said Chi Chi 'You're as fast as my nimbus cloud! Maybe faster! Who trained you?'

'No one.' said Arale 'I just like to run. It's fun.' She paused and looked at the wreckage. 'You know you don't need all this junk. We have a playground.'

'We're not here to play.' said Kakarot 'We are here to rescue our friend Bulma from the evil General Blue, who kidnapped her.'

'That's horrible.' said Arale.

'Nimbus!' cried Chi Chi.

Down came Nimbus from the sky at her command. Chi Chi leaped on, and Arale spoke up. 'I'll help you look for your friend if you need a hand.'

'Really?' asked Chi Chi 'Your too kind.'

'Would you mind giving me a ride on your cloud?' asked Arale.

'Yeah, sure.' said Chi Chi 'Kakarot would you mind following on your power pole?'

'Why not.' said Kakarot, drawing it out.

'Oh, it might not let you ride it.' said Chi Chi 'Nimbus is very particular about who it lets on.'

Arale leaped up and landed on the cloud easily. The gretchens followed and she laughed merrily.

'You guys have definitely been good.' said Chi Chi.

'Of course,' said Arale 'let's go.'

'You heard her, let's go!' said Chi Chi, before zooming off.

'I think I'm going to be sick.' said Kakarot. 'Power pole extend.'

As he caught up he found Chi Chi looking back to Arale. 'Isn't this wonderful?'

'Yes.' said Arale.

Meanwhile Blue made his way down the street, carrying Bulma over one muscular shoulder. Glancing around in contempt, he sighed. 'Such a strange, backwards place. With one tank I could conquer it in a day. These simpletons would think I was a god.'

'Mmmph!' said Bulma.

Eventually they came across a number of animal children clustered together in the middle of the road, whispering. Blue halted. 'What have we here?'

'Mmmph! Mmmph! Mmmph!' cried Bulma, trying to get their attention.

They looked up, then continued whispering among themselves. Then they turned back and began making faces at Blue. Then they ran off. Probably not to get help, with Bulma's luck.

'Mmmph.'

Then along came a car. Blue smiled. 'Finally.' Putting Bulma to one side behind a telephone booth he stepped in front of the car with arms wide. 'Halt!'

'Hey, what's the big idea?!' asked a blue haired man. 'Get out of the road!'

'Stop whining and get out of the car.' said Blue.

The man eyed him. 'Nice pants you've got there pal, this should be fun. Opening the door he stepped out and faced Blue down. 'All right, stranger, I'm assuming you didn't stop me for my autograph. Wait here a moment, I'll be right back.'

Racing into the phone booth there was a long pause.

'I can tell this is going to be a long day.' said Blue.

The man reemerged, clad in a blue and orange jumpsuit and posed. 'With I bite this sour plum I become…' He eat a prune. 'Sourman! Incredibly strong and regular!'

'Mmmph.' said Bulma. Who was this kook?

Whoever he was he began to laigh triumphantly. 'Feel free to tremble! For no one can resist the might of Sourman!'

'Perhaps,' said Blue 'but I'd lose the bowtie if I were you.'

'What do you know about being a superhero?!' asked Sourman. 'Have you ever changed clothes in a phonebooth? Or spent hours combing your hair just to get that perfect curl?! Why my dry cleaning bill alone would turn your hair white!

But let's get to the chase.' He set out a series of ceramic plates. 'Bear witness to the awesome power which is me!'

Bringing down one fist he shattered the top plate easily. His hand pulsed as he gritted his teeth, trying to pretend he hadn't hurt himself. 'Ah! There's plenty more where that came from!'

Blue just looked amused. Sourman sweated. 'I do not wish to harm you, stranger, but if you do not move out of my way I will be forced to use extreme measures.'

Blue walked past him without a word. Gripping the phone booth between his arms he squeezed and crushed it into a broken and twisted wreck. Sourman's eyes bulged as he stared in awe.

'Well…' said Sourman 'okay, have you ever thought about taking a sidekick sir? I'm sure I could free up my calender.'

'I have plenty of lackeys.' said Blue 'What I need is transportation.'

'Ah, I understand.' said Sourman 'What mode of travel do you prefer?'

'Something that doesn't have feet.' said Blue 'Do you have an airplane?'

'Yes, an airplane would be perfect wouldn't it?! Why didn't I think of that!' said Sourman with a laugh 'Actually I… don't.'

'Well then perhaps you would be so kind as to refer me to someone who does.' said Blue.

Sourman thought about it with crossed arms. 'Let's see now, who do I know owns a plane? Ah yes, I know! Simbi Norimaki is who you want to see, sir!'

'And where does this Norimaki reside?' asked Blue.

'Yes, it's very simple.' said Sourman 'Just head down this road until you get to the sea. Turn right and his house is on the left.'

Blue picked up Bulma, opened the back seat of the car and threw Bulma in before getting into the drivers seat. 'Nice car. You don't mind if I use it?'

'Certainly,' said Sourman 'certainly. It's my privilege sir.'

Then they drove off. This was proving to be a really long day.

As they flew through the air, Kakarot saw two people down below, one red headed and talking to a black haired policeman. Arale recognized them. 'Hey look! There's Akane and Taro!'

'I don't care.' said Kakarot.

'Who?' asked Chi Chi.

Descended they landed and Arale jumped off the nimbus to meet Akane. Akane slipped her hands into her pockets. 'Hi Arale.'

'Hi!' cried Arale.

'And who are these?' asked Akane 'I don't believe I've ever seen them before.'

'Their visiting.' said Arale 'Their names are Chi Chi and Kakarot.'

'Hello,' said Chi Chi 'it's a pleasure to make your acquintance. Say hello Kakarot.'

'All of you go die.' said Kakarot.

'Are they friends of yours?' asked Taro.

'Yes!' said Arale 'We've been having lots of fun!'

'Speak for yourself.' said Kakarot.

'You were flying pretty fast.' said Taro 'Do you have a permit for that cloud?'

'Akane here has the coolest scooter in town.' said Arale.

'My ride is nothing compared to this beauty,' said Akane 'what do you call it?'

'It's called the flying nimbus.' said Chi Chi 'It was given to me by my master, Roshi the Turtle Hermit.'

'It's neato!' said Arale 'It even does tricks and stuff!'

'Would you mind?' asked Akane 'I've never sat on a cloud before.'

'And you never will.' said Kakarot.

'Yeah,' said Chi Chi 'you probably should climb on with-'

Akane got on and fell through to land flat on her face. Kakarot began laughing uproariously, warranting a chiding look from Chi Chi.

'What did I do wrong?!' she asked.

'Not sure,' admitted Chi Chi 'but it'd have to be something bad. Only people who are pure of heart and mind can ride atop the nimbus cloud.'

Taro was laughing to himself and Akane stood up furious. 'What are you laughing at, you think this is funny?!'

'Actually yes.' said Kakarot.

'You're busted.' said Taro.

'Oh yeah?!' asked Akane 'Well why don't you try it?'

'My pleasure.' said Taro.

He got on the nimbus cloud and was promptly allowed to fall downwards to hit the ground hard. Akane laughed at him. 'Look's like your stars a little tarnished, Taro. I thought you were supposed to be perfect?'

'I'm the police!' said Taro.

'Not really an assurance of virtue.' said Kakarot.

'Hang on,' said Chi Chi 'do you help finding missing people?'

'That's one of our jobs, ma'am.' said Taro.

'Well we're looking for a bad man who kidnapped a close friend of ours.' said Chi Chi.

'Who?!' asked Taro eagerly. 'Is it someone really dangerous? Like a bank robber?!'

'He's a general in the Red Ribbon Army.' said Chi Chi.

'Did you say Red Ribbon Army?!' cried Taro 'The Red Ribbon Army is here in penguin village?!'

'Pretty much.' said Kakarot.

Taro let out a shriek, ran to his car and drove off in a panic. Kakarot watched him disappear into the distance. Akane and Arale blinked. 'What was all that about?' asked Akane.

'Taro?' asked Arale.

Blue was in a bad mood as he drove along the road at a leisurely pace. Not leisurely out of any plan or relaxation of his, but rather because the car was very, very, slow. He slammed the dashboard.

'Come on!' he said 'I just want to get back to headquarters! Oh I could walk faster than this!'

Bulma felt a surge of satisfaction as the machine broke down entirely. Blue looked furious. 'Mmph.'

'Shut up.' said Blue.

Then he opened the door and got out to check the engine. 'I said work, that's an order!' And he kicked the machine. There was a clung. Nothing happened.

His purcussive maintinance a failure Blue began to fiddle with the car to try and get it to start moving. During this time a little boy with a strange cap on appeared. 'What's this? Excuse me, what's the matter with your car?'

'If I had to guess I would say it was broken.' said Blue.

Brilliant deduction, really.

'Here, let me take a look at it.' said the boy.

Really? Just going to ignore the tied up hostage in the back seat? Okay, just checking.

'Oh really? This isn't so bad.' said the boy 'If you just change this and rotake that valve it'll just take a minute.' As he worked Blue's expression changed as if remembering something.

'Such a kind and thoughtful boy…' murmured Blue 'he reminds me of… Samuel. Can it be that I've found you after all these years? I've missed you, little one.'

The boy did not notice. Then, his work completed, he looked up. 'See how easy that way? It should work now.'

'Amazing,' said Blue 'I can't believe it, you have no idea what this means to me!'

'It was my pleasure sir.' said the boy 'I love automobiles, especially the vintage models like yours.'

'You always did like to fix things, didn't you Samuel?' asked Blue.

'Sorry,' said the boy 'you must have me confused with someone else. My name is Aubatcha man, but you can call me OM for short. Everyonebody does. Well it was nice meeting you, but I'd better be going now I'm late for a meeting.

Goodbye.' And he moved off.

'No, wait, Samuel come back!' cried Blue in vain.

OM was gone.

'Mmph.' hissed Bulma.

'Fool!' hissed Blue 'When will you realize your brother is never coming back, focus on your mission!'

There was a screech as a cop car came into view and three policemen stomped out. Blue looked up, his expression returning to normal. 'Looks like I'm about to trade up.'

'Hey this could be him.' said one of the cops.

'I'll need to see your licence and registration.' said the first one.

Seriously?! Why was no one paying attention to Bulma?!

'I'm sorry officer,' said Blue 'but I didn't carry them with me today. I must have left them in my other jacket.'

'Very well,' said the officer, taking out handcuffs. 'then you'll need to come with us.'

They were so dead. Surprisingly Blue let them handcuff him. Then he broke the handcuffs.

The cops went for their guns. 'Stop! You're under arrest!'

Blue made two easy movements and their guns flew from their hands, spinning into the air, then down to land in his hands. He crushed the guns together into a ball of twisted metal. 'So what do you guys do for fun around here? Personally I love to bowl.'

Then he shattered the car Bulma was in, picked her up, and walked past the prone and stunned cops without a second glance. Coming to a halt by the police car he looked up. 'Once again I'm in need of an automobile. Do you mind if I take yours?'

'Gladly sir.'said a cop.

'The keys are in the ignition.' said another.

And that was how Bulma found herself tossed into the back of a cop car, waiting as Blue drove at breakneck speeds down the street. He seemed in a very good mood.

'Mmmph.' she sighed.

So much for law and order.

Meanwhile Chi Chi, Kakarot and Arale continued to fly onwards. Chi Chi kept an eye out on the fields below, scanning the area. Yet they didn't see anything and Kakarot was getting tired of polling his way across the land.

'This is really weird,' said Chi Chi 'it's like he disappeared into thin air.'

'Look,' said Arale 'there is Taro!'

Taro and two other cops were standing by the wreck of a green car. As they landed before them, Kakarot noted they seemed to be in shock. Arale approached Taro. 'Taro, what happened?'

'It was terrible!' said Taro 'We tried to apprehend him but he's… unstoppable.'

'Seriously?' asked Kakarot 'I finally find a town I could see massacred without a hint of regret and the Red Ribbon chooses now to stop being a bunch of murderous psychotics.'

'Be nice, Kakarot.' said Chi Chi. 'Which way did he go, Taro?'

'Straight,' said Taro 'just follow the sirens.'

'Thanks for your help, Taro.' said Chi Chi.

Then she surged off on her cloud and Kakarot followed. Kakarot enjoyed the sensation of ditching Arale. Unfortunately she was fast after them.

'Hey Kakarot, Chi Chi wait for me!' cried Arale.

Kakarot focused on the road ahead as he poled onwards. 'Okay, let's hunt the Red Ribbon.'

From where he had hidden his car behind a bush, Blue watched in satisfaction as Bulma found her hopes fading. Kakarot and Chi Chi had passed them.

'Hehehehe,' said Blue 'missed me again.'

Then he began driving his car forward. Then something rammed them and the car lurched forward into the air in an arc, descended and smashed into the ground. Bulma was thrown from the wreck and hit the ground. If she hadn't been training all this time she probably would have been seriously injured.

Blue was unharmed but Bulma began to wriggle toward one of the sharp wires and rub her ropes against them. Blue seemed in a daze. 'But… I don't want to go to school… mummy…'

And then a purple haired child raced forward and looked down on him.

'Hello.' she said.

'I don't suppose… you have a spare tire.' said Blue.

'Are you hungry?' asked the child.

Then some green haired fairy things started eating the metal Bulma was working her bonds against. Before long the entire car was being devoured.

'Sorry about that.' said the child 'I'll find you some more food.'

'I'm not hungry, thank you.' said Blue. 'I don't think I'll ever eat again.'

Then the child tapped him on the shoulder and offered him a lollypop. With a face. Not the picture of a face, an honest to get, teeth, eyes and tongue face. 'Yum.' said the child.

'What's the matter with you?!' asked Blue 'Get that ugly thing out of my face! I don't know where it's been!'

'Zero fat and tasty.' said the child.

'Do you have any idea what you're holding?!' asked Blue 'It has a face! Get away from me, all of you! You're all insane!' And grabbing Bulma he raced off.

Bulma was beginning to think she had inhaled fumes. Kami knew it would make more sense than this.

They raced all over town, asking the people they met if they had seen any sign of Blue. Yet no matter who they asked the answer was always the same. They hadn't seen him.

Finally they backtracked and met up with Arale.

'Any luck finding that bad man?' asked Arale.

'No,' said Chi Chi 'I hope Bulma is all right.'

'Bulma! Of course!' said Kakarot 'We can ust use the dragonball radar! If he still has ours then wherever it is that is where he is too!'

'Good thinking Kakarot.' said Chi Chi.

Finally a quick solution! Kakarot could find Blue, kill him, rescue Bulma and move away from this nightmare. He only needed to… needed to… it wasn't working. Why wasn't it working?

'Son of a bitch!' snapped Kakarot 'It's broken again! Now we'll have to go all the way across this miserable town! No, wait, I'll murder everyone in this town and then I'll go to the Red Ribbon Army HQ and murder everyone there!

Then we can just wait for Blue to come to us!'

'Or we could ask Arale if she knows anyone who can fix a dragon radar.' said Chi Chi.

'Or we could murder everyone in this region and use their lifeforce to summon some kind of eldritch monster to murder Blue for us!' said Kakarot 'Where is here anyway?! What kind of faustian pact was made to create this hellhole?!'

'I don't know,' said Arale 'but it's pretty.'

'No, I mean where are we on the map?' asked Kakarot 'Besides the lowest levels of hell, obviously.'

'Don't you mean HFIL?' asked Chi Chi.

'I know what I said!' snapped Kakarot. 'Now, tell me how I may locate the Red Ribbon Army's HQ that I might slay them and take their power for my own!'

'No, I sure don't.' said Arale sadly.

'Wonderful!' roared Kakarot 'So we're trapped in this living nightmare and unable to repair our only means of locating Bulma! How could this get any worse?'

'…Someone could start singing.' suggested Chi Chi.

'I'll grant you that.' conceded Kakarot.

'So Arale,' said Chi Chi 'I need you to bring us to someone good with machines.'

'Oh I'll take you to the doctor.' said Arale.

'Where does this doctor live?' asked Kakarot.

'I'll take you there.' said Arale.

'Uh huh, uh huh!' cried the Gretchens.

The doctor, as it turned out, was a tan skinned man with a mustache, wearing a blue baseball cap. He looked up from where he was fixing a plane and spoke: 'What? What in the world is that? I've never seen that boy before. Maybe it's a long lost relative, your side.'

'I have a cousin with a tail, but that doesn't look like her.' noted a blonde woman in a pink tank top.

'There he is.' said Arale 'He's the doctor.'

'Excuse me,' said Chi Chi, approaching the man. 'I was wondering if you could help us.'

'Yeah,' said Arale 'can you fix this?' And she offered the dragon radar.

'Immediate compliance will extend your lifespan.' said Kakarot 'You will die last.'

'Okay,' said the doctor 'your watch?'

'Actually it's a dragon radar.' said Chi Chi.

'Dragon radar,' said the doctor.

'You hunt dragons with this thing?' asked the woman.

'Believe me, I wish that were so.' said Kakarot. 'We're actually looking for seven dragonballs so we can find them and restore… nevermind.'

'That sounds fine.' said the doctor 'But I need to know how it works. What makes it tick?'

A baby appeared overhead. 'I believe it works by detecting unique energy signatures emitted by certain objects.'

'Oh yeah,' said the doctor 'well first I have to get inside the machine to make a diagnostic appraisal.'

And that was how he sat at a table, fidding with the dragon radar. Kakarot watched and wondered if he really knew what he was doing. 'It's construction looks simple enough.' mused the doctor. Then he gasped.

Clearly he had no idea what he was doing. 'What in the world is that?! I've never seen anything like this before, look at all the colors!'

'Are we paying for this service?' asked Kakarot.

'Nope.' said Chi Chi.

'Well I want a refund anyway.' said Kakarot 'Preferably measured in flesh.'

'This is really hi tech!' said the man 'Who could design such a thing?!'

'A girl named Bulma made it.' said Kakarot.

'A girl?!' asked the doctor 'You say a little girl made this complex machine?! That's impossible!'

'Hurry up.' snapped Kakarot.

Little did Kakarot know the dragonball and Bulma were coming to them, on his way to the doctors house. Can our hero stop this one man army without committing genocide in the process?

Authors Note:

Holy crap this took a long time to write. I nearly missed the once a month mark. All I can say is that I really lost enthusiasm and had to work on other projects. Even those suffered. Basically this has been a really slow month for all my fics. Sorry about that.

Enjoy.