Chapter Sixty: The Return of Yamcha

A great and cool mist had fallen over the land of Korin. It had come down from some of the mountains to shroud the land in gray. Even the tower could scarcely be seen with it. Over the course of the early morning, it faded away so that Upa and Puar could see up to the top of the tower again.

'It's been three days already.' said Upa 'I wonder if Yamcha has made it to the top of the tower yet.'

'Yamcha's probably on his way back now.' said Puar 'He's the strongest there is. He'll be back any minute, you'll see.'

And then out of the mist came Tao. His pillar crashed into the earth, impaling itself into the ground and the mercenary leaped off easily. He dusted himself off and looked up. Upa raised his hatchet while gasping in fear as the man approached. He was newly clothed in an outfit like the one which had been burned off him and it was flowing in the wind. He looked at them with a disdainful countenance.

'You…' said Upa 'you killed my father!'

'That's right.' said Tao 'I have killed many things, little heathen. And you're next.'

'Stay back!' cried Puar 'Yamcha will be back soon!'

Upa hurled his axe. It spun through the air, but Tao scarcely seemed to move as he dodged it completely. Tears fell from the boy's eyes as Tao looked on him in contempt. Then he rushed at him. Tao made a move and kicked Upa into the air before snatching him by the throat.

'Leave him alone!' cried Puar, before freezing as Tao pointed two fingers at her.

'Now listen to me very carefully,' said Tao 'where are you hiding the dragonball?'

'It's not here!' gasped Upa.

'Speak up, savage.' said Tao 'I can't understand you. Orange shiny ball! You have it! Where is it!'

Upa gasped.

'If you want the pain to stop,' said Tao 'talk.'

'I… can't… breathe…' gasped Upa.

'If you won't cooperate,' said Tao 'then we have nothing further to discuss.'

Suddenly there was a blur and Upa was no longer in Tao's hand. A figure landed by Puar, carrying the boy in both hands. He set him down.

'Yamcha!' cried Puar.

'Hey Puar,' said Yamcha 'hey Upa. Sorry to keep you guys waiting.'

Tao's eyes widened. 'You are alive!'

'Both you guys stay back.' said Yamcha 'I'll take this guy.'

'I've never fought someone twice.' said Tao 'This will be interesting.'

The two warriors turned and faced one another down. There was dead silence as they sized each other up. Finally, Yamcha spoke: 'You're not going to hurt anyone else, ever again.'

'You have no idea how lucky you are to be alive.' noted Tao. 'Much less talking. No one has ever survived my dodon ray. King's and peasants alike have fallen to its power.'

'Newsflash Mercenary,' said Yamcha 'I just did.'

'Ah yes,' said Tao 'the missing dragonball which I carelessly forgot to relieve you of during our first encounter. I won't make that mistake again. I must say I've been looking forward to this moment. Though I don't know which will be more entertaining. Taking the dragonball from you, or ramming it down your throat.

There is a very thin line between bravery and stupidity, bandit. Once before you saw this line and did not cross it. It seems you have become more of a fool since then. You don't really think you'll win, do you?'

'Give me back my dragonball and I'll let you live.' said Yamcha, taking a stance.

Tao laughed. 'What a vivid imagination you possess! Three seconds, that's how long you have to live!'

Then he charged. Yamcha rushed to meet him, blocked one of his strikes and punched him in the gut. Tao keeled over, and Yamcha brought up a knee to send him flying into the air. As he flew upwards Yamcha surged after him, focusing his power. Bringing around a leg he kicked Tao across the face, sending him crashing against the tower.

Both of them descended to land as Puar and Upa stared.

'I don't believe it…' said Upa 'He's winning!'

'See!' said Puar 'I told you Yamcha was the strongest!'

'Well, well, well, looks like it's been three seconds.' said Yamcha 'Guess you can add one more to the list of big words you can't back up. By the way: Pink? Really?'

'Yes…' said Tao 'I see. It's only been three days and yet your strength has increased immeasurably.'

'Well what can I say,' said Yamcha 'I'm a talented individual. Korin helped too, of course.'

'Korin…' said Tao 'as in the Sacred Tower of Korin?' He looked up, then down. 'You climbed to the top! Impossible! And I suppose while you were there you drank the sacred water!'

'Pretty much.' said Yamcha.

'I'm glad you found a way to amuse yourself with the time you had left.' said Tao 'Though it won't make any difference.'

'Yeah, that might have been intimidating if I hadn't just played volleyball with your crusty ass.' said Yamcha 'Face it, you've got nothing on me at this point! Still, I kind of like the idea of crushing a bastard like you twice! So let's fight.' And he took a stance.

'I don't fight, I annihilate and when I'm done you will be nothing but dust in the wind.' said Tao.

'Care to back up those words?' asked Yamcha.

'With pleasure, bandit.' said Tao 'Whatever you learned atop that tower won't be near enough to save your hide.'

Tao surged forward and unleashed a flurry of kicks which Yamcha effortlessly blocked. Next came his fists, which were fended off with ease. Tao stepped back in frustration.

'You blocked my death punch with your knee!' cried Tao in awe.

'Death punch?!' asked Yamcha 'Come on, that's a terrible name. Here, let me show you a good one. WOLF FANG FIST!'

It seemed for a moment as though a wolf really was surging toward Tao. A flurry of kicks beat him senseless, followed by a vicious barrage of punches, culminating in a double fisted attack that sent Tao surging back against a tree.

He hit it, but landed on his feet and charged back with another flurry of attacks. These too Yamcha evaded and dodged, hardly seeming to be exerting himself at all. Puar and Upa watched in awe.

'This is the exact opposite of their last fight.' said Upa.

Then Yamcha kicked Tao in the face hard. The assassin landed on one knee, bloodied and scuffed. He had a furious and wild look of hatred in his eyes as he gazed at Yamcha, who hadn't even taken a hit yet.

'Now it's my turn!' growled Tao.

'Your turn?' asked Yamcha 'I thought that ineffectual flailing was your turn.'

They charged at each other and Tao unleashed a low knee. But Yamcha leaped over it with ease. Tao followed quickly and punched Yamcha. This time he connected and sent Yamcha flying back toward the tower. But Yamcha caught himself on his legs and kicked off back toward Tao. Tao dodged out of the way and Yamcha shot towards the earth. He hit a tree and fell to the ground.

Getting up on one knee, Yamcha groaned. 'Ow.'

Tao chuckled as he landed. The two warriors charged again.

This time Yamcha took the offensive, threatening to break Tao's guard with every strike. Faster and faster they moved, with Tao unable to keep up. Finally, another kick sent him flying away. Even as he landed Tao was punched in the gut hard and staggered back. A kick to the chest followed, then a kick to the face. Then an elbow to the neck, followed by a kick to the gut.

Tao's uniform was torn and ripped. Bruises were covering his body as he struggled to stay standing. And Yamcha only seemed to be getting started, a look of fury on his face. With an uppercut, Yamcha sent Tao spinning into the air and he followed shortly to kick him in the face, sending him spinning downwards to earth.

Tao landed in a crater of dirt. Yamcha landed on his feet, expression furious.

When Tao pulled himself up, his shirt was utterly destroyed. 'That's the second suit you've destroyed!' he roared. 'Do you have any idea how difficult it's going to be to find another decent tailor!'

'Try going back to the one you got the first one from.' said Yamcha.

'I can't!' said Tao 'I killed him for demanding payment! I couldn't let an insult like that go unpunished!'

'Wait, so… you don't pay people for their services.' said Yamcha.

'Of course not! Why should I when I can simply use the threat of force to obtain their service freely?!' asked Tao.

'But… you charge billions of zeni to kill people.' said Yamcha. 'I've seen your advertisements.'

'What of it?!' roared Tao.

'Well… what do you use the money for?' asked Yamcha.

'It's not about the money! It's the principle of the thing!' roared Tao 'If I worked for free people would take my skills for granted!'

Dead silence. It suddenly occurred to Yamcha that Mercenary Tao did not benefit in any way, shape, or form from his work. He could just as easily have done nothing and been just as well off. He got services for free, got paid huge sums of money to kill people, and then did nothing with it. He did not seem to long for combat like Kakarot did, though he did take a perverse pleasure in toying with his prey. He seemed to care about his reputation.

'All of this…' said Yamcha 'you kill people just so you can feel superior to them.'

'Yes, so what of it?' asked Tao 'I am superior. To die to appease my whims is the greatest the worms I slay can aspire to achieve.'

Mercenary Tao was, without a doubt, the evilest person Yamcha had ever met. Probably the most evil he ever would meet, or even hear about. All that anger which had been slowly simmering down roared into new flame.

'You know,' said Yamcha 'after beating you senseless I was starting to calm down a bit. Now all that's gone. I guess I'll just have to start all over again.'

'You dare question my abilities?!' roared Tao 'Then taste my dodon ray!'

'Bring it on.' said Yamcha.

'Dodon ray!' cried Tao.

A beam of pure gold light, larger than the last shot forward towards Yamcha. However, he crossed his arms and took it head on. For a moment he held it in place, unmoving, then he pushed back and sent the beam shooting back toward Tao. The mercenary leaped out of the way and stared as Yamcha stood deadly still, totally unharmed.

Tao shook visibly. 'It's impossible…' he gasped. 'No one has ever withstood that attack…'

'That makes three times I've proved you wrong.' said Yamcha. 'Your a dead man walking Tao.'

'Dream on!' snapped Tao, drawing out a capsule and activating it.

The capsule exploded to reveal a long curved sword of razor sharpness. Tao caught it in one hand. Then he surged at Yamcha and swung it.

Yamcha narrowly got out of the way, but a narrow slash crossed over his eye. Another slashed him across his cheek, and another crossed it again to create an x as he dodged.

'X marks the spot!' laughed Tao, swinging again.

'Yamcha!' cried Puar, activating a capsule of her own. 'Catch!'

'My sword!' cried Yamcha, as the capsule exploded.

He caught the blade and blocked Tao's next strike. Their blades clashed and the two of them fenced back and forth. Yamcha was driven back, however, by the berserker fury of Tao. Ducking behind a tree, he had the tree cut in half.

'Don't worry bandit!' roared Tao with a laugh. 'I'm just going to take a little off the top!'

Yamcha leaped at him and unleashed a flurry of two-handed strikes. Tao backed away before him as their blades moved faster and faster in the light. They circled each other, swords flashing before Yamcha backflipped backward and kicked off the tower to charge at Tao.

Tao met his charge in midair and they passed each other.

Landing on the opposite sides from which they had started the two men remained silent. After a moment Yamcha fell to one side. Then Tao's blade shattered and he looked at it in horror. Yamcha stood up and looked at him with contempt. After a moment he planted his sword in the ground.

'I could probably cut you to pieces here and now with a clear conscience.' said Yamcha, bleeding from the wounds on his face. 'But I'm not like you. I don't believe in attacking someone with an unfair advantage, I fight my battles the old-fashioned way. With honor.'

'You could probably use a miracle!' snapped Tao 'Now hand over the dragonball while I still have some patience and I may let you live! Do as I say!'

'Get serious.' said Yamcha 'Your done. Coming at an unarmed man with a sword was the only hope you had, and now it's broken. Give me the dragonball you stole, leave, and I'll let you live.'

'Don't be absurd!' roared Tao 'You're just a child! Why do you want these stupid things so badly anyway?!'

'To bring back the people you murdered.' said Yamcha. 'It's the least I can do for my friends.'

'Well your friends are in for a big disappointment.' said Tao. 'You should be grateful for these last few moments of peace before I take what little life you've lived.' And he laughed.

'I've heard enough.' said Yamcha 'WOLF FANG FIST ATTACK!'

As he surged towards Tao, however, the assassin kicked a stone. It hurtled past Yamcha and he saw it heading toward Puar as though in slow motion. Against him, it would be harmless, but it would kill her.

'PUAR!' he cried, jumping back to catch the stone inches from her face. He dropped the stone and whirled around. 'You bastard, I'll get you for-'

Tao was gone. Then he heard laughter and saw Tao hanging onto the tower. 'No one escapes the ravages of battle, bandit. Unfortunately, ours will have to wait for now while I make a trip up your precious tower. I'm feeling a bit thirsty!' And he climbed from sight.

'Jokes on him.' said Yamcha 'Puar, get me some bandages for these cuts. When he comes down, I'll be waiting.'

Authors Note:

I've been looking forward to this fight for a long time. I hope I did it well enough.

One of my guest reviewers had a question, and sadly I was unable to answer due to him lacking an account for me to PM. Consequently, I have decided to respond here.

The reason that Kakarot is stronger than his canon counterpart is because he started wearing training weights much earlier than in canon. Earlier in the story, he was about on par with Goku, and even performed worse against Jackie Chun, since he was more reckless and angry and didn't do as good a job.

As for the other guest review, I'm afraid it is a bit late for that. As of this chapter, Yamcha is stronger than Kakarot. He is the strongest of the main cast at this point, except maybe Master Roshi. Whether he'll stay that way is another question entirely. One of the things I'm trying to do in this fic is make it so the viewers aren't sure who is going to end up winning Kakarot's various rivalries.