Chapter 6

Secret Fantasy

'Italics' –'Dreams'

'Wrapped in the cloak of gathering darkness, his hands explored her body with an expert, fervent confidence; somehow, she knew this hadn't been the first time between them, yet his touch was just as urgent and possessive as before. There were many facets to him; austere, calm, collected and reticent. Even the phrase 'haughty indifference' had been used once or twice…but all of those paled once the doors were closed and it was just the two of them – he, resolved yet desperate for her, and she, welcoming his uncontrollable passionate chaos, wholeheartedly.

At times, his hands would shake even as they held her tightly; his entire body vibrated with the desperation and need to be joined with her, filled with her. She in turn, worked tirelessly to reassure him; her hands slid along his sinewy frame in loving caresses, reassuring him that yes, she craved and welcomed his touch…yet despite that, there were still times he felt himself losing control (he was bound to the belief that he must be gentle with her), and any mark upon her body would send him physically recoiling in regret.

She hated those moments when he'd forbid himself to touch her; it was a self-imposed punishment that was borne out of his own insecurities of truly hurting her.

Yet Sakura knew he would die first before ever laying a harmful finger upon her; the marks were merely proof of his passion for her, and she relished in it.

This night however, he was being especially stubborn – the angry bite mark on her thigh had upset him so completely – and after several minutes of coaxing only to be sharply rebuffed by his self-loathing temper, Sakura's own emotions ran high, till they snapped.

"So what, now you're just never going to touch me again?!" she bit out furiously; there was a deep seated hurt laced in her voice, but the redhead steeled himself against it and willed himself to withdraw. "I – never should have touched you like that, to begin with; I bit you, Sakura. That's not-"

She lunged for him from her spot sprawled amongst the sheets; he was half-way redressed, and her hands latched onto his arm, thwarting any further action. "it's called 'passion' it's okay! It's normal, and besides, I don't mind, you know I-"

"No! Enough." His face contorted threateningly as he held up a hand, firmly silencing any further protests; sudden tears blurred her vision as his expression hardened into an immovable mask. He turned from her and prepared to walk away, but Sakura scrambled from the bed, sheets pooling at her feet, and stood there, shaking as the tears spilled over and down her cheeks.

Fists clenching, she shouted venomous words at his retreating back, "You can just walk away?! What do you think, that I'll just sit here and pine for you, when there's countless men just waiting for me to deign them with a glance? Are you okay with that?!... so, someoneelse can have his hands all over my body, and you wouldn't even-!"

There was a feral snarl, and in a flash he was before her, lips curled back to bare his teeth and jade orbs lit with righteous fury. His body slammed her into the nearby wall, and before she could utter a word, his mouth was on her, ravishing her with a punishing force, that had electricity laced at the edges of her vision, as he barely released her lips long enough to mutter huskily, dangerously, "…Never!" Was his venomous reply; his hands slammed into the wall on either side of her, fingers curling claw-like as he gripped the walls with such bruising force, he tore right through the plaster. "I will never let you go. Any one dares to try and take you – it will be the last thing he will do in his existence...!" he knew deep down, she'd baited him; her words had been spoken from a place of hurt and a desperation to recall him to her side; yet even the knowledge of this, rendered him powerless to refuse. For all his stalwart efforts to keep her 'safely' at a distance, yet near enough to his side to satiate his want of every part of her…it was never enough. And gods help him, he couldn't restrain himself for long, when they were in the throes of such passionate, reckless abandon…there was no 'safe way' to do this; not in the way he wanted.

Yet, she had never been the one to place those stringent limitations upon him – even now, in his anger, she held him fast, and remained open and willing to every bit of himself he had to offer her. . .

"Then stop pushing me away…' she pleaded with him, voice trembling and wrought with her tears; he'd always hated seeing her cry and loathed it a thousand times worse, when he was the cause. Catching her face in the cradle of both hands, his thumbs swept her falling tears away, and she pressed her naked body fully into his own as her arms curved around his waist, gripping him so he could not escape her. "…I want this. I want you, every part of you, can't you see that? Don't l-leave me w-when you know how much I-"

Her trembling words were lost as he crashed into her once more, casting every caution and uncertainty to the wind, as he crushed her mouth with his, his own trembling hands skating hungrily, swiftly down her form, before his fingers delved between them, sought her soaking warmth, and-'

.

.

.

With a gasp of mortification, Sakura lurched up in bed, face burning and the remnants of dream-induced tears blurring her vision.

A dream.

That's what it had been.

A very puzzling, thrilling, mortifying dream that left the pinkette burying a flaming face in trembling hands as she fought to settle the hammering beat of her heart, and regulate her erratic breathing.

It took several long minutes; she'd never recalled having a history of racy dreams…and the fact that the object of this particular fantasy was a certain redhead she'd been fighting to keep off her mind lately, only left Sakura's humiliation kicking up several notches till she swore the very tips of her hair were flushing with embarrassment.

How the hell am I supposed to face him now?! She thought panicking; it was one thing to have a random dream fantasy play out about someone you rarely saw; however, she wasn't only in Sunagakure, but living in the redhead's own house! Even if an entire day passed without her seeing a glimpse of Gaara, the fact that they returned to the same abode every evening, pretty much guaranteed their paths would cross at some point; she'd never given it much thought as his siblings also resided in the manor, and she found Gaara's company to be welcoming and pleasant.

. . .But that was before she'd gone and had a fucking wet dream starring that very same redhead Kazekage; now, she was doomed to never seeing him in the same light as she once had…and quite frankly, the dream had only been the propeller to a steadily approaching catalyst.

Since the moment she'd set foot in his village – in his office – there had been a subtle yet strong undercurrent between her and Gaara. After her disastrous breakdown, followed by the hospital incident plus another disastrous meltdown, Sakura could sense the tenuous tension that had settled between them. The line that had been marked so distinctly at first, had begun to blur and boundaries had shifted when the redhead had lowered his walls just enough to bare to her his sincerest desire to be there for her in her weakest moments.

She'd done her best to resist his offers of support, feeling it would not behoove her to rely upon yet another person to soothe her soulful aches; she'd learned the hard way, how detrimental it can be to place such absolute trust in someone and she wasn't so sure she'd ever have the strength to take that step again.

Thing is…Gaara actuallymade her want to. Despite all she'd been through with Sasuke, then the whole fallout concerning he and Hinata's relationship, Sakura couldn't honestly say she'd met anyone whom she fully and unreservedly, wished to bare her complete self to. There were always too many variables or risks at stake, and for all her impulsive tendencies to run blindly ahead with her heart, she'd always kept Logic on a firm leash in the other hand; this time was proving to be different.

There were so many different elements and facets to Sabaku no Gaara, many of them appearing as drastic contradictions to each other. Yet, it was this indecipherable complexity that drew her to him; there were moments when the enigma that was the Kazekage, cleared and she would get a glimpse into his truest thoughts – those were the times when his eyes would fix upon her and ignite with a kind of bracing heat and honesty, that left her with no doubt that he had purposely lowered his defenses because he wanted her to see.

Her initial instinct was to run, yet an uncharacteristic lack of desire to 'escape' from him, had begun to form; it was just a flicker, the tiniest of seeds that had taken fragile root in some dark, dark corner of her heart, and even that hint of indecision, heightened her impulse to flee!

…yet, she could never fully bring herself to do it; in the rare moments when she succeeded, she never made it very far, before some small word or unconscious action from him, was drawing her inevitably back towards him and tightening the link of friendship between them, strengthening it into a bond foraged in delicate synapses that branched off into deeper more meaningful connection; simply put, Haruno Sakura doubted that her half baked efforts to outrun the pursuant redheaded Kazekage, would last much longer. If she was brutally honest with herself, their last encounter in the kitchen three days ago, was evidence that Sakura was already operating on borrowed time; the notion that she could realistically keep this up - refuse his efforts to reach out, and evade his endeavors to garner her trust – was a pipe dream.

Inevitably, Sakura knew she would lose. The only question was, what exactly was that Gaara himself hoped to gain?

《》

A/N: WOW. Freaking LOVED this one! I know it was mostly inner monologue, aside from the dream, lol, but I'm really wanting to lay a concrete foundation for the developing connection between Sakura and Gaara. Obviously, it's pretty darn likely they'll end up together But with everything they've both been through, plus the nature of their personalities, I just don't see Gaara and Sakura simply falling into a relationship just like that! There's so many elements of complexity, especially on Gaara's part, so for me, I think there needs to be a lot of introspection and inner conflict, resulting from or leading up to their interactions. Things will be angsty for awhile, but stick with me! Xx