Barba was sitting on her couch, on his phone as usual, when she entered her office, shutting and locking the door behind her. "I know, I know. I'm sorry," she told him before he had a chance to say a word. "Get the blinds, would you? I need to change."
"Sure, but you're going to have to hurry. We're on in 5."
With Fin behind the wheel on the way back to the precinct, she'd been able to fix her hair and refresh her makeup in the car while she and Barba had worked out their game plan over Bluetooth. But her blouse was torn and the right sleeve caked with dried blood, not her own. She peeled it off and tossed it in the garbage bin beside her desk, leaving her in a simple black sports bra. "They'll just have to wait. It's not like they can start the press conference without us."
"I'm afraid Dodds will try to take over if he thinks we aren't going to show up."
"Fair point." She was at her closet, opening two garment bags to review what she'd left there as her emergency options. The black pants she was wearing would have to do. She held up the shirt choices. "Which one?"
He grabbed a tissue from the box on her desk and approached to wipe at a smudge on her neck. "Go with the blue; you'll match my tie."
"Yes, because that's what everyone will be worried out. Blazer? No blazer?"
"Blazer, definitely. And for the love of God lose those heels. They'll make me look like a hobbit next to you."
Rollins had been at her desk talking to Carisi when Olivia had breezed past them into her office. She was still there when Olivia breezed past again, this time with Barba in tow.
"Oh, my God."
"What?" Carisi asked, alarmed at her tone and expression.
"Did Liv just change her clothes with Barba in the room?"
And so marked the return of the debate about the nature of their relationship, which turned out to be the theme of the day.
The press conference was a success, with Liv and Barba playing off of each other perfectly and staying completely on message when handling questions. If she hadn't been immediately pulled aside by Dodds, Barba might have had to fight the urge to offer her a high five before he headed to his office.
"Extremely well handled," Dodds congratulated. "Can I buy you dinner, Lieutenant? If you don't have plans, of course."
That was not an invitation that Liv had been expecting. "Uh... no, no plans. I just need to be home by 7:30 to relieve the nanny and put my son to bed."
"That will give us plenty of time. I'll drive."
On the way they talked about work, but Olivia could tell he was trying to ramp up to something. It wasn't until their food had arrived that he finally started in. "I know I haven't always been easy on you, but you've really come into your own in these last years, Lieutenant."
"Thanks, Chief." Though she would have been more touched if she wasn't so deeply suspicious.
"And I think you'd agree that ADA Barba has been a part of the success you've seen. The two of you have developed a rather formidable partnership."
"We work well together. And he's very good at what he does." She didn't bother to hide the fondness in her voice; it didn't occur to her that she would need to.
Until Dodds finally said what he'd brought her there to say.
"And I think it would be a shame to threaten that partnership due to a failure to disclose your relationship in a timely fashion. I'm all for finding a way to make it work so neither of you have to transfer out. But if you let this go much longer and someone finds out that shouldn't find out, I don't know that I'll be able to help you."
Olivia was speechless. Actually speechless.
Which Dodds of course completely misinterpreted. "Not to worry, Lieutenant. You don't need to say anything right now and it's probably better that you don't. And it's obviously something the two of you need to talk about together first."
She coughed, trying to find her voice. "Can I ask... what brought this conversation about? Was there an accusation?"
"Nothing like that. Just my own two eyes, Olivia. Though I'm surprised I haven't gotten a call; you haven't exactly been hiding it. And I probably should have said something earlier. It's just after watching the two of you today at that press conference, I was reminded that it's good for the department and for the city to keep both of you on Special Victims if we can manage it. I felt it was time to get ahead of this. "
"Wow. Okay." She drained her glass, returning to her senses. "Well, first of all, sir, I want you to know that I don't take what you're offering here lightly. I'm very grateful that you would come to me with this and be so willing to make accommodations to keep myself and Barba in the positions that we are in."
Dodds just nodded.
"But there actually ISN'T anything romantic between Barba and me. We're definitely very close friends, and we do spend time together outside of work, but there has been nothing even close to an indiscretion that would require disclosure."
"So he IS gay." Dodds blurted, then immediately backtracked. "Don't answer that. My apologies; that is completely none of my business."
"It's okay, sir," Olivia continued, unable to fight a chuckle at Dodds' slip and obvious regret. "Though to be clear, while it's not something we've explicitly discussed I'm pretty sure that's NOT the case based on his previous romantic relationships with women." And the time that she'd kissed him and left him shell-shocked. And the time he'd referenced the possibility of several orgasms. But Dodds didn't need to know any of that.
"Well, okay then." Now it was him pausing for a drink and to pull his thoughts together. "So... why don't we just put a pin in this. And assuming nothing changes in the quality of your working relationship, you can tuck my words into your back pocket and pull them out should they ever be relevant to your situation. You hearing me, Lieutenant?"
"Loud and clear, sir." It was easier to agree than to invite further conversation on the matter. And so it was back to safer topics for the remainder of the meal and the ride home.
After Noah had gone to bed, Liv called Barba to fill him in. She regretted that she hadn't done it in person when the thought of Dodds cornering her, over dinner no less, sent him into a fit of uncontrollable laughter which she couldn't help but join in on. "I wish you could have been there," she told him, "just to see what you would have done."
"I don't even KNOW what I would have done." They laughed some more as they speculated.
It was perhaps the fact they WEREN'T speaking in person that led to things turning more reflective than usual once the mirth had finally worn off.
"Is this enough for you?" Liv asked him simply.
"What do you mean?"
"This. Us."
"Oh." There was a long pause before Barba continued. "I don't really feel like anything's missing. Do you?"
"No," Liv affirmed genuinely. "And that's not why I brought it up. I was just curious, because we've never talked about it: Do you want anything more from this?"
A loud sigh followed by a self-deprecating chuckle. "Honestly, Liv? I don't know that I'm comfortable answering that, only because of what the word 'want' could potentially open up just in my own mind."
She smiled. "Okay. 'Need" then."
"That's much easier. The answer is definitely NO. Beyond whatever tensions we might have at work from time to time, this just feels so easy and uncomplicated." He was warming to the topic now, the opening to express what was in his heart without seeming sappy or melodramatic, because he was simply answering her question. "To be able to have what we have, and just be FRIENDS, without...everything else... To not have to worry about where this is going, or what people will think, or whether we're going to lose our jobs or get transferred. To not have to leverage expectations, or trying to find time in our busy schedules, or even deal with morning breath. This is... it's a gift, Liv."
"I agree," she answered after a moment, and he could hear the emotion in her voice. "I guess I was worried you'd feel like I was using you or taking you for granted."
"Use me," he deadpanned immediately. "If this is what using me looks like, do it. I'll take it. It's my new favourite thing." And then they were laughing again.
"Was it just Dodds that brought this on?" Barba eventual inquired. "Or does it also have something to do with the almost "sensational" evening we could have had if I hadn't gotten the hell out of dodge after you made the sexy face at me?"
"Oh, my God. I'm never going to live that down, am I?"
"Not a chance. Just embrace it. It's a part of our story. And I love our story."
So did she. It was a damn good story.