So... following the twitter challenge, this is my take on the promo for Chicago PD episode 8x3. If they make us wait too long for that scene to unfold, then we need to do something about it and let our fantasy run a bit wild. I hope this little piece makes the waiting a bit easier. Enjoy
Jay Halstead was irritated, to say the least.
What was in the parcel Trudy had given Hailey earlier today?
A good-bye present from her short-term colleagues at the FBI?
And why was Hailey behaving so strangely today?
One minute she seemed to be avoiding him, the next she seemed just about to say something, and then decided against it.
What did the Feds want?
The last few weeks had been good, despite all the changes going on. When Hailey had come back from New York City, they had been spending more time together than ever. Almost as if...
No, Jay, he held himself back. Don't think that. There is nothing going on. She would never...
He wasn't sure if he should ask her, because deep down he was very much afraid of the answer. Whatever was going on, it wasn't a good thing. Otherwise she would have told him right away.
Well, at least it wasn't a good thing for them. She seemed to be quite excited, although she tried her best not to show it.
Unfortunately today they didn't have any time to talk, no surveillance, no stake-outs. Just plain and simple police work in the office, with the whole team around. They were not alone, not for one minute.
When Hailey's phone rang, he almost flinched, watched her as she left the office and closed the door to the break room behind her. He stared at the door, as if he could hear what she was talking about, if he only stared hard enough. Something bad was going on.
The door remained closed, and when Jay couldn't take it any longer, he stood up from his desk. Under the watchful eyes of his colleagues he cautiously knocked and opened the door, tentatively looked inside.
"Yes, I will do that," he heard Hailey say. "Talk to you on Monday latest."
And the phone call was over.
"Hey," she looked at Jay, smiled reluctantly.
"Everything okay?" he asked, clearly worried.
"Yeah," Hailey hesitantly said. "Listen, Jay, I need to leave now. How about we meet for a drink tonight. I need to talk to you."
"Sure. Molly's?"
"No," Hailey shook her head. "Too many people we know. How about the bar around the corner from my place? At eight?"
"Sounds good," Jay agreed, and before he could say anything else, Hailey patted his shoulder and left.
Jay returned to his desk, not sure what had just happened. Under normal circumstances he would have been excited. It was almost as if Hailey had asked him out on a date. But something was off. And he was sure it had to do with the Feds and that parcel.
He couldn't shake off the bad feeling, the lump that had been building in his stomach during the day. Therefore he wasn't sure what to think of their "date" that night. Of course he wanted to see Hailey, no doubt about that. But there was this lingering sense of something really bad happening, something he'd rather avoid. So he stood outside of said bar at ten to eight in the evening, debating with himself if he should go inside or run away and bury his head in the sand. That was not an option, obviously, as tempting as it sounded, so he took a deep breath and opened the door.
Deep down he knew what would happen. Hailey would join the Feds and this would be good-bye. But he needed to be brave, supportive. She deserved it. She was an amazing cop, and he should be happy for her, for this huge step forward, for this honor.
Hailey was already sitting at a small table, two glasses of whiskey ready for them.
She smiled when she saw him. Jay forced himself to smile back at her, smile his warmest smile, even though he would rather cry or yell or both.
"You're early," she said softly.
"Yeah, you too. Good to see you. Are you okay?"
"Sure," Hailey answered, sipped some of her whiskey.
The lump in Jay's stomach felt worse.
Jay nervously downed his whiskey in one large gulp, closed his eyes for a second.
"So..." he slowly started, unsuccessfully trying to sound chipper and clueless. "What's the occasion?"
Hailey was just as nervous as Jay, but also excited. She smiled, before she started talking.
"Jay, I got a job offer from the Feds."
So he had been right. He tried to hide how much this hit him, like a punch in the guts. Smiled.
"Wow, when did that happen?"
"Well, when I was in New York, they already told me how they liked working with me and that they wanted to keep me," Hailey interrupted herself, ran her slightly shaking hand through her hair. "Wow, that sounds so vain, so arrogant. Sorry, Jay. That's not what I meant."
Jay nodded and smiled weakly.
"Anyway, they called a few days ago and told me that they'd send some more information. Which arrived today."
So she had known about it for days and hadn't told him? That was bad. Jay almost felt a dark cloud embracing him.
"The parcel contained details, a whole project plan and stuff. And an actual job offer."
"Wow, that's quite the effort. Sounds great." Yes, that didn't sound lame at all...
"It is. I feel overwhelmed."
"I'm happy for you," Jay managed to say.
They paused, smiled at each other insecurely. Jay took another sip of his whiskey. "What did the FBI offer you?"
"Joint level task force."
Jay looked down, impressed and at the same time devastated. A joint level task force was a big thing. He didn't know what else to say. This was it. Now she would tell him that she'd leave for New York soon. How he hated that city, the Feds!
His conflicting feelings clearly showed in his face, he was unable to hide it, as hard as he tried. Slowly he nodded once more. "That's huge. You deserve it. Listen Hailey, I'd rather go home now." He stood up, unable to stay for a second longer.
"You know," she said before he could leave. "You could tell me you don't want me to take it."
What? What was that?
Jay stood there, frozen. He stared at Hailey.
He wanted to tell her exactly that, but would that be fair to her? Shouldn't he be supportive and urge her to take the job, this fantastic job? What should he do?
Slowly Jay shook his head. "I can't tell you that," he whispered sadly and turned around before she could see the tears welling up in his eyes.
He left a shocked Hailey behind, who sat at the table and watched him almost run out of the bar.
She buried her head in her hands. That didn't go as she had expected, not at all. Why on earth were they both so stupid? Why couldn't they just tell each other what they felt? When had life become so complicated? Flirting, dating, all the things that used to be so easy, they were so complicated now. Now that it really mattered.
She downed the rest of her whiskey, threw some money on the table and followed Jay. She couldn't leave it like that.
Hastily she followed Jay outside, but he was nowhere to be seen. His truck wasn't anywhere near, he had driven home already. Hailey ran the two blocks home, to get her own car. She needed to talk to Jay right now, to clarify this. She hoped she hadn't messed it up with her last sentence, with her stupid last words.
She jumped into her car, drove to Jay's place. No truck.
Where was Jay?
Was there anyone he might want to talk to?
Will? Adam or Kev?
No, the one person Jay talked to, when he had something to talk about, was Hailey.
She ran to the door, rang the bell, knocked several times. No answer. His place was dark, he wasn't here. But where would he have gone? She had spare keys but didn't want to use them. Not right now. She had done enough damage today, she couldn't just enter his home. So she sat down on the stairs, determined to wait for him. No matter how long she had to wait. She needed to make this right. That was all that counted.
Jay was too agitated to drive home directly. All that waited for him at home was an empty apartment, the TV and whiskey, which wouldn't be a good idea.
He drove to one of his favorite places by the lake.
He needed to think.
What had just happened?
He had asked himself that question too often today, much too often.
When had he ever been this irritated, this confused?
He parked the truck and went down to the shore, sat down on a low stone wall, so that he could look onto the dark water of the lake.
Time to gather his thoughts.
Hailey had a job-offer from the FBI.
An offer for a really good job, to be honest.
A job every cop would die for.
And the Feds wanted her, they really wanted her. Which was no surprise, of course. She was a great cop, would be an asset to the Feds.
And it was no surprise either that she wanted that job. It would mean a significantly better paycheck, more responsibility, a huge step up on the job ladder. Who wouldn't want that?
He wasn't quite sure though, why their date – was it a date? Can I call it that? - had gone the way it did. She could just have told him she'll leave. Why hadn't she?
At least she told me about it. At least she didn't just leave. Thank God for small favors.
Her last sentence had irritated him. What should he have said? Would anything he said make a difference? But then again, if it didn't, why had she asked him? Did she want him to hold her back?
Jay's thoughts were running in circles, he didn't come to a solution. After a while he noticed that he was shivering from the evening cold. He should go home, try to sleep and perhaps talk to Hailey again tomorrow – if she was still in Chicago, and if she was willing to talk to him, after tonight.
He jumped back in his truck, switched the heating on and was on his way.
Jay didn't even remember how he drove home, how he parked the truck and approached his front door. Only when he stood right in front of her, he noticed the person sitting on the stairs, arms wrapped around her legs, head leaning on her knees.
"Hailey?"
Hailey slowly lifted her head. "Jay."
"What are you doing here?"
"Jay, we need to talk."
"Yes, we do." Jay helped her get up, noticed that her eyes were red and swollen. Automatically he put his hand on her back, as he opened the door.
He took off his jacket, kicked off the boots, took Hailey's jacket – everything happened as if it were a normal visit, nothing out of the ordinary.
They both entered his warm living room. Hailey stood in the middle of the room, looking almost lost. Not like the excited woman that had just received this huge job offer from the FBI. She wrapped her arms around herself again.
"I'm sorry," both said at the same time. They smiled at each other weakly.
"I'm sorry for what I said," Hailey continued. "That wasn't fair."
Jay shook his head. "I'm sorry for running – again."
Jay grabbed a bottle, poured them both another drink. "I... I just didn't know what to say," he admitted. "I mean, you know I don't want you to leave. But... but I can't request that! I can't ask you to not take such a dream job! Just because of me! Just because I don't want you to leave. To leave me."
His eyes widened, he was afraid of what Hailey would say.
"Jay," Hailey whispered, took a sip of her drink, as if to gain courage. "Jay, I..."
Now she would say it, she would say good-bye. And leave.
"Jay," she repeated. "I should have... I... I don't know how to say it."
Jay tilted his head, trying to make her realize that he would listen, whatever it was she had to say. He would accept it. What choice did he have?
"Jay," she repeated. "I... I don't want to take the job."
Now it was out, now... but wait, had she said she didn't want to take the job?
"Jay, I don't want to leave Chicago. I don't want to leave you," Hailey continued after a deep breath. "But I need to know how you feel. Because... because I can't go on like this anymore. I want to be with you, Jay. And if you don't want that, then I will leave and take the job. Because I cannot not be with you and still see you each day. And nothing more. That would hurt too much. That's why I said what I said, Jay."
Jay hadn't expected that. And he didn't know what to say, what do do after her confession. Of course he wanted to be with her. There was no doubt about that. It was now or never.
"I want to be with you, Hailey," he slowly said. "And I don't want you to go. It would kill me if you left."
Hailey looked at him, into his insecure, wide green eyes, and bit by bit she realized what he had said. She smiled.
"Look at us, two idiots unable to express their feelings," she said, as she stepped closer to him.
Tentatively Jay put his hand on her cheek, brushed away a tear with his thumb. Hailey leaned against his hand, welcoming the warm and tender touch.
"Don't leave me, Hailey," he whispered. "I wouldn't survive that. I love you."
"I won't leave, Jay. I'll call New York first thing tomorrow. I'll stay here with you. Because I love you too."
She laughed nervously, and Jay slowly relaxed. He stared at her, almost in disbelief. She was in love with him, just like he was in love with her. She would not leave him.
Very slowly he put his arms around her, pulled her closer, kissed her softly. He hardly noticed that Hailey wrapped her arms around him, held him tight, as if she were afraid to let him go. Jay couldn't be happier. Hailey wouldn't leave him. She loved him and wanted to stay here because of him. She chose him over the Feds.