Chapter 5: The Nobodies

It had been weeks since the argument and Rey practically ran from Kylo's office in tears. The environment between them was tense, barely more than two-sentences passed between them. No apologies were exchanged and Rey was quite exhausted emotionally from it all. She looked over his calendar and saw no scheduling of any time to go see Han or Leia.

Had he not heard her? When she threw the truth, the very thing she wanted, right into his face? He had a family who wanted him dammit and he's so fucking stupid and arrogant to not see it. Rey would give anything to have anyone care about her, call her insistently. He lamented his woes about being a fuck-up who put his father in a coma, but now was his shining chance to mend it and he refused to do it.

She nearly snapped her pen in half thinking about it as she scheduled the next month for him on paper before transferring it to his phone.

Her phone chirped with a reminder that she would need to leave work early today to see her doctor. Now that she had the money for once thanks to the fat paycheck he gives her, her regular cycles caused by eating normally were becoming a concern and she had enough to pay for a visit and put away in savings.

The one damn benefit of working for his ass.

Day in and day out she would sit at Maz's bar and listen to Finn or Poe or even Rose talk about other things, avoiding the hell out of Kylo as a topic.

"Rey?" Finn asked her one day while she downed a thick chocolate shake. "Everything fine at work?"

Rey nodded. "Everything is just fine. It just drags you know?"

Hopefully, that was enough to placate Finn.

"If you say so. You never talk about it anymore, or Ren."

She shrugged. "What is there to talk about? He's an ass, he pays me. Pretty much all to it."

There was no point in talking about how much he hates her.

"Ben?" Rey croaked. The tapestries were in flames, embers falling around them.

Ben stared at the empty throne before looking at her. "Rey. This is our chance."

Her eyes were like glass. No. No no. It wasn't supposed to be this way. It wasn't. He was supposed to turn like in her premonition. She saw him in the dagger. The dagger told her he would be a place to belong, to give her something she wanted all her life.

She lo—

"We need to let it all go, Rey. Start anew. A new kingdom." He extended his hand to her. "All new. No legacies, no Snoke. No Sith. No Jedi. No Alderaan. I want you to join me at my side."

Her throat hurt. "Don't do this Ben," she pleaded. "Please don't go this way."

His voice, for the first time, was raised and trembling. "No no, you're still holding on! Let go!" He took a step closer. "Your parents. You know who they are. You know the truth. You've hidden it away, lying to yourself, clinging to a false hope, to trick yourself into thinking you weren't alone for all those years. You know. Say it."

Rey didn't want to. She didn't want any of this, she didn't ask for any of it.

"Say it."

Tears fell. "They were nobody," she said, and it felt like her soul was torn to pieces.

"They were nothing more than drunk beggars who sold you off for drinking money." The last part was uttered with an underlying rage. "Dead, in a pauper's grave in the Jakku desert. You have no place in this story. You come from nothing. You're nothing."

He got down on one knee before her.

"But not to me," he said, boring into her eyes. "Rey, I want you at my side. I want… You. As my wife. Please."

Kylo's hand was extended to her. Tears mixed with sweat on his face. His cape swirled around him in the glowing light of day.

Why… Why would she accept? She couldn't accept it. Not like this. She couldn't marry Kylo Ren.

Her fingers were about to touch his before her hand moved away to grab the legacy sword and yanked it off the ground.

Kylo latched onto it with the Force and they pulled and tugged and their hearts broke as the sword snapped in half and the kyber crystal exploded.

Life was odd ever since Han left the hospital. He was expected to remember the house he lived in. His truck aptly named the Falcon, after his old horse. Remember the old tire swing that Ben used to play on as a child. Remember where the dining room is and where Leia's office was. Apparently she, just like before, was in charge of the place.

But Han didn't remember, because none of those memories were real. Amilyn confirmed that all these memories he was supposed to have were fake as day. Everyone else had them somehow, including Leia and Ben.

And of course, there was the issue of Ben regressing right back into his Kylo Ren phase. Han sighed as he got up from the bed—Leia already gone—and wondered where Rey was. She had moved out of her temporary room in the giant ass mansion and worked under Ben as his assistant. She would be the one to get through to him, somehow. She did it once, she can do it again.

Han really wanted to see his son.

If only he could actually drive a truck. He had tried while Leia was at work and it kept stopping and stuttering. It seemed to be in fine condition but he simply lacked the ability to operate it.

So he took a walk, a long walk, over to Maz's. He wasn't surprised in this new strange life that Maz ran a pub much like the tavern she was in charge of before it was burned down by the Knights of Ren.

He sat down at the bar and didn't even recognize Maz for a moment, but her eyes were the same.

"Hello Han, glad to see you are alright," Maz said, cleaning a glass. "What can I get you?"

"My son not being an idiot," Han muttered, earning a laugh from the small woman. "And a…" He squinted at the menu. What was a coke? "A coke please."

Maz handed him a glass full of a bubbling substance. Once upon a time, bubbling substances meant some sort of poison. He took a sip. Very sweet and had a bite to it. Interesting.

"Did you walk all the way here from your house?" Maz asked.

Han nodded while staring at the fizzing drink. "Yeah."

"Han?"

He looked up to see a man with a burly beard taller than even his son. Han didn't recognize him from even his past life, but he just knew.

"Chewie."

Rose Tico knew what she was in for when she and Paige signed up to join the Princess' guard. To not go hungry in the wake of a healing land freed from the Empire over twenty years ago.

She never anticipated being at war with a dark kingdom right at the borders.

The night was on fire. The woods obscured her view as she ran in on foot, Paige on her flank. Sword bared. It wasn't like the Jedi weapons of old, infused with a kyber crystal, but it was still steel and a sharp blade.

At the end of the pathway was Kylo Ren, unmasked, eyes red, and angry.

Rose heard the rumors of Ren's temper, how he would destroy everything in his path, entire rooms in his rage.

Why was he showing his face now? Why?

Rose couldn't keep her attention on Ren, for his knights and underlings were attacking.

She was knocked on her back, vision spinning, eyes scanning the battlefield for any indication of Paige.

Ren's voice boomed behind the trees. "General Hux, we are taking them prisoner for information."

Her heart pounded in her ears.

"Sir—"

"Do you dare question your new leadership?"

"No Sir."

Rose scrambled to get up. She had to find Paige. Paige had to be okay. They had to leave before they were caught.

She came upon Paige, passed out, her arm bleeding out but otherwise unharmed.

The heavy footsteps over the frozen ground gave away to Ren's presence.

She looked up into the darkened eyes of Kylo Ren. This was how she was to die, captured, and then tortured to death, away from Paige's wounds which she would no doubt succumb to.

"You know her…" he muttered under his breath. "We leave, now, General Hux."

Rose furrowed her brow. Wasn't she supposed to be taken prisoner?

Before she knew it, Ren moved forward and waved his hand at her and the world went black.

Opening her eyes, she found herself in the frozen ground. Rolling over, she found Paige, still breathing, her open wound vanished with only a sliver of a scar.

How?

Just, how?

Kylo was resigned to the fact he was in a perpetual state of annoyance for the rest of eternity, or as long as he had this soul-sucking job.

He just had to get snippy with Rey of all people after he poured his heart out to her. Hearing his own mother for the first time in too many years all of a sudden opened up a lot of ugliness inside only delved into at surface level while he was inebriated. That self-loathing, the resentment, it was too much to deal with all at once in just one phone conversation.

The worst part, he wasn't ready to go back. He couldn't go back. Snoke drilled into him the very reason he couldn't go back was due to the fact one cannot take back any action, not even the one where he put his father into a coma.

Kylo couldn't remember that incident, and it was so painful because shouldn't he? He should remember something as traumatic as that. It tore their family apart, painted him as a monster to the town.

The one person who, for five seconds, didn't think so and he snapped at her, and then she threw everything back into his face. He knew he was an asshole, but with ungrateful being a recent and accurate addition to the label.

His shitty job, stepping all over people's livelihoods and putting unneeded stress on them was not helped by the fact he and Rey were not speaking beyond a couple of sentences.

"Your lunch," she said, plopping the usual white paper bag from Maz's with unnecessary force before making long strides and loudly sitting down at her desk. "You're welcome."

His eye twitched. She was such a childish brat. He was no better though.

He looked at her wardrobe. A purple blouse—probably from his mother—and a pencil skirt. Perfectly adequate for her job.

"You're brave for wearing that ensemble," he said, just loud enough for her to hear.

He heard the audible click of her pen as she wrote down names of clients and calls to make.

Yep, he was definitely an ass.

"I am leaving for the rest of the day. Doctor's appointment," she said, grabbing her purse and her phone and jacket before leaving with a clipped tone.

By all accounts, Rey's behavior, from running out of the room, to not coming back to work until he was drunk off his ass, to her passive-aggressive attitude, should have been grounds for firing her, but Kylo couldn't do that. Because he was soft for her, and he hated that he was.

Kylo wanted to tell her off.

And kiss her.

She was infuriating to the max.

Kylo returned to his work, trying not to think about Rey. Or his family. Definitely not the contents of that phone call weeks ago.

"Ben—"

"It's Kylo now."

A pause on the other end. "Of course. It's good to hear you."

"What do you want?"

"I want nothing, son."

He winced at that. Son. "Then why bother calling me over and over?"

"Because there's something you need to hear."

He braced himself for rejection. To be told he was nothing and a family disappointment and a despicable human being. She would hear about the eviction of her brother soon enough. "What?"

"Your father is awake. He is fine. Seems more dazed but he's recovering nicely. Keeps asking about you."

He dropped his phone.

When he picked it up with shaking fingers, all he could hear was Leia asking if he was alright.

"I have to go."

He hung up.

Rey sat in her own rooms of Alderaan's castle, staring at the polished dagger. It no longer showed his eyes gazing back at her.

Instead, a different image took over, one that gave her joy in the wake of her losing Ben.

Staying would have broken her heart, but leaving did anyways.

The battle faded and Leia showed her to a place to stay, understanding her pain, if only a little.

The dagger showed the image of a small child, with dark curls down her back and freckled cheeks and her eyes were molten, like the golden sunrise. The image of her giggling and spinning through the woods and grasslands made Rey's heart warm. It was what she wanted, so, so much, with her very soul. To have a pretty little girl to love and cherish, to make her feel wanted, as Rey never got that. She wasn't wanted. Thrown away.

She was nothing.

"Rey?"

She hid the dagger in its leather sheath. No one knew about the dagger, save for Luke Skywalker, and she planned on keeping it that way.

It was Finn, standing in the doorway.

"You alright? I heard you were inside Ren's castle," he said.

Rey nodded, schooling herself to remain impassive and disinterested in Ren, despite the burdening pain on her shoulders. "I escaped just fine, not a scratch."

"That's good, that you escaped. The last battle…"

Rey didn't even witness the last battle, for she was still running through the forest when it happened.

"Ren is the new leader supposedly, at least that's what Rose said." Finn furrowed his brow in thought. "Paige was injured but when Rose woke up that wound was healed already. Know anything about that?"

"Wasn't there a magical lake with the water properties able to heal even the most dire of wounds?"

"Yes, but Paige and Rose were on the battlefield when it happened. The lake is too far away."

Odd, very odd.

"How are you holding up, Finn?"

Finn nodded to himself before speaking. "Not sure. The last few weeks have been crazy."

Crazy wasn't enough of a descriptor.

"Thank you for asking though, Rey. We have to stick together to win this war."

War.

A war she found herself on two fronts.

The only comfort she really took in this was staring at the dagger, the bright image of a family of her own allowing her cold, aching heart to breathe.

Han decided to be reckless but, well he was about done with Ben's idiocy.

So he decided to march all the way to First Order Investments after he spent hours trying to figure out a smartphone with a GPS and then find where the hell his dumbass son was working.

He walked into the snazzy-looking place where Amilyn sat at her desk, staring, eyebrows raised in surprise.

"Why are you here?" she asked.

Han leaned against the desk. "I want to see my son."

"You sure that's wise? Given how he currently is?"

"Well, considering I haven't seen Rey since my hospital visit and Leia said she told him about my miraculous recovery and he hung up, I'd say wisdom got thrown out the window with all this nonsense."

Amilyn shook her head and lowered her voice. "Snoke knows you're awake too. He's using you to keep him under his control. Kylo won't exactly be welcoming to you barging in like this. He'll lash out."

Like that ever stopped Han. "I've survived worse."

"He's on the second floor. You'll find his office with his name on it."

Han took the elevator on up, passing by a ginger-haired man—General Hux—and stopped in front of "Kylo Ren's" office.

He knocked and it opened, Rey dressed in neatly ironed clothes and her hair was halfway done up, rather than her triple buns he remembered her by in another life.

"Oh, hello," she said. "I see you're walking around."

Han nodded. "Can I talk to my son?"

"Of course," she said, zero hesitation. "Always."

That was definitely Rey, even if she didn't remember the past. Han wondered if she was instrumental in undoing the curse. He could feel it in his gut.

Rey stepped aside and let Han walk past her desk and towards Ben, who was scribbling on a little scrap of yellow paper so hard Han swore he was going to leave indents on his fancy desk.

"Ben."

On pure instinct, he looked up and looked like he had stolen cookies from the kitchen again. Then his brows creased into a glare.

"Why are you here? Does my mother not torment me enough? Or Luke?"

Han chuckled. "You can thank your assistant. She let me in. Told me I could see you. And I did want to see you."

Ben gripped his pen so hard it would probably snap in half at the increased force.

"You shouldn't be here," he said, looking back down at the screen-device in front of him. "You should leave."

"Why? What's your asshole boss going to do? Stab me with a sword?"

Ben didn't flinch in recognition, only rolled his eyes. "You're just here to rub it in my face that by some miracle you're not dead and the town still hates my guts."

"And where did that kind of banthaspit come from? Snoke? Come on kid, why do you listen to him so much? You're miserable. You look like you haven't slept in weeks. I know he's just using you."

Indeed, the dark rings under his eyes indicated sleep deprivation. Han knew that Ben, all his life, struggled with sleep, even as a baby.

"Snoke listens to me, unlike the rest of you. At least he took me under his wing, you and Mom, and even Luke didn't give a fuck about me."

Han stood his ground. "Kid, I always cared. You may not remember everything, and I should have told you this a long time ago, but I—"

His son looked away. "No. Please leave, now. I don't want to hear any of your excuses."

Han sighed.

"At least… I can rest easy knowing you have Rey," he said before turning around and leaving the office. He caught a glimpse of Rey, who looked saddened herself.

The night that everything changed was calm. Peaceful. No wind to bring a chill. The wildlife chirped. Rey sniffled, her eyes glistening with her pain.

Rey hiked up the mountain, dagger still in her grip.

A warm balm on her soul came over her. The Force, ever strange in its ministrations, connected them again, and she knew he was waiting. He was feeling what she was feeling.

Stepping back into her hut, she tossed the dagger aside, disregarding the burning gaze in the blade for the real one. The glow of the sparked fire danced in his amber eyes, his lower lip trembling as she sat down and hugged herself with a shawl.

"I found a dagger," she said. "It… I asked it to show me my parents. It showed me nothing. I've never felt so alone." Looking up at him, she ached for what she had called him, a monster. The truth was more complicated than that, and her kyber crystal, still in her bag, showed that. Showed his darkest secret, the one that, if he were to tell anyone, would never be believed.

"You're not alone," he said.

"Neither are you." That night of the temple burning… What had he said? That he destroyed it? Rey swallowed. He had convinced himself he was responsible for the tragedy. "It's not too late," she added.

In this tiny space, miles and miles apart, Rey wondered if this bond, this gift and burden given to them by the Force, could allow for so, so much more.

She extended her hand out to him. Steady, like a firm rope. A sign that meant he could pull himself out.

Ben took off his glove, dropping it to the floor and vanishing. His hand was shaking, wary of what was happening, afraid this connection wouldn't give them what they wanted to see, feel, experience. His fingertips touched hers.

Rey was frozen on the spot, seeing both Ben and the Force granting them a vision.

"Rey, I'm so sorry. I think… No, I do remember my promise to you. I will always come back for you, because I love you."

The images before her were of her sleeping, and Ben was looking over her body, caressing her hair.

The touch of his fingers electrified her, the vision gave her hope for the future.

Because Ben Solo was hope.

Kylo practically stomped over to Rey, glaring at her.

Ah, here comes the verbal lashing. Only took him several weeks.

"Why the fuck did you let my father in? I told you everything revolving around my family is none of your fucking god damn business," he growled out. "Can't you just leave it well enough alone?"

Rey stood up and shoved her chair in, rather aggressively. Well, she didn't bloody care anymore. "No, because you're being a fucking prick and I had it up to here with you!"

Kylo rolled his eyes. "You're such a fucking brat. I'm surprised I keep you around for your behavior."

She took a step closer into his space, away from her desk and closer to the door. "Then go ahead, Kylo Ren, fucking fire me. I don't care. I'll leave if I bother your prissy ass so much."

His amber eyes inspected her. He was a huge man, tall and broad, and yet Rey didn't feel small nor intimidated. No, she wasn't scared of him. She was fighting back.

"You bother the hell out of me but finding a new assistant like you is even more of a bother."

"Glad to know what you really think of me."

"For fuck's sake Rey," he spoke her name and it made her spine shiver. "I just wanted you to listen to me."

"You wanna know the truth, Kylo Ren, wait no, I refuse to abide by that. Ben Solo, you wanna know the truth?"

His lips got into an even tighter frown at the mention of his other name. She expected a protest but instead, all he said was "No. I don't care about the truth."

She rolled her eyes. "You're infuriating, you know that? You have this wonderful golden opportunity, I've given you all these chances to fix things, mend them, considering you got all drunk and weepy on me, and yet you refuse."

He took a step forward, right into her personal space, and she could not give a shit. "Fucking hell Rey it's not as simple as it seems!"

"Seems pretty simple to me, but yet, you're just hiding in here, avoiding your father long enough for him to come walking and you tell him to leave! Here's the truth, Ben Fucking Solo, Your Royal Pain in the Ass Highness, you need to get a fucking grip on yourself."

"And you need to stop being such a fucking nag about my familial issues. Not everyone has a cut-and-dry relationship."

"At least you have a damn family!"

"At least you're not hated by everyone!"

"Maybe people wouldn't hate you if you weren't such a dick all the time!"

"Fuck you, Rey."

That one sentence shot a thrill through her, and she had no idea why. Or perhaps, she had an inkling as to why. His hair today was messy like he walked out of the shower and forgot to comb it and it just puffed up in nice waves as it dried. His anger was so raw on his face, which was very, very close to her. She was glad for the heels giving her an extra inch on his massive frame in this scenario. His mouth, in a firm frown, was very appealing. Very kissable.

Even though he absolutely loathed her now, and she was tired of his nonsense, the close proximity did things to her. And apparently, did things to him as well.

"Fuck you too, Solo."

His eyes darted to her lips and he bit his own and oh.

Oh.

Rey didn't know who moved first. Maybe it was her, maybe it was Kylo, but all she knew was she was being kissed, hard. There was nothing soft about it, nothing gentle or sweet, the way she had imagined in her younger years. She dreamed of a faceless man sweeping her away in his arms, holding her in a snowy forest, his hand on her abdomen in a gentle hold, and she cupped his face and kissed him, soft and loving.

This was none of that. It was fiery and burning and suddenly her blazer in the middle of the chilly office was too hot. He consumed her lips roughly, tugging at her lower lip with his teeth before she gasped and allowed his tongue to slide against hers. She reached up to pull at his stupidly gorgeous hair. Firm hands were on her hips, and a wall suddenly dug into her back.

Their kiss broke for a few seconds, gasping for breath. All Rey could manage to say to Kylo was another soft "Fuck you," and she heard his response ghosting her abused lips.

"Fuck you too, Rey Niima."

Their mouths connected again, the sounds of wet, sloppy, and rough kisses and the click of a door locking the only things to be heard in the office.