Hey guys!
This is a revised version of my one-shot "The Worst Days" after revising it, it ended up being more than double the length of the original and very different from it, so I decided to post it separately, but the original version is still up! If you want to check out the original it's under my stories on my profile. And be sure to check out my other one-shot in this series "Not Alone" because I recently revised that one, and added a second chapter!
Note: This is the first One-Shot in my "Father Fury" series. (go to my profile to learn more) (I have posted the third one-shot for this series and the first one but I haven't posted the second one yet. These do not need to be read in any specific order, and if you read them out of order, or don't read the other ones you'll still understand this one perfectly fine, and you can just read them all as individual one-shots)
#FatherFury
TRIGGER WARNING: Panic attacks, PTSD
It was that day.
One of the worst days. Today was the anniversary of when Uncle Ben was murdered, and he died in Peter's arms. Died at the hands of the man that Peter could've stopped. The day that a good man was ripped away from the world. From his wife. From his son.
But he was with Shield now. He couldn't just hole himself up in his room and hide from the word. The city still needed Spider-Man. The days, weeks? Leading up to this he found himself patrolling more. Getting up earlier to do it before school, not getting back until three or four AM, and even then, some days he just didn't go to sleep at all. He just pushed himself harder. Be better. Work harder. Save more people. Fewer people whose lives had to end in tragedy. It also exhausted him to the point that he wasn't even thinking about his Uncle, or that murderer, or the guilt that threatened to consume him. When he did sleep, it was hard and mind-numbing. That kind where you can sleep for ten hours but still wake up more exhausted than when you went to bed.
Still, he went out on patrol and pushed himself hard. He still spent nights staring up at his ceiling, tears silently streaming down his face because he had allowed himself to think about the pain for even a short moment.
Fury knew about it. Of course, he did. He knew what today was. So of course he wasn't surprised to see Spider-Man looking more exhausted each time he saw him. Or to see him being more aggressive than strictly necessary in training. Or the fact that he was all business, and no non-sense when directing the team, or addressing him. No signs of quips or witty banter, only cold sarcasm in their stead.
The team had noticed. How could you not? But they hadn't said anything to him, other than snide remarks of "What's wrong with you?" or "Get it together." Of course, they were all just worried, but they weren't sure how to approach him about their concerns. They'd brought it up to Fury, who had informed them of what day was coming up. They'd all immediately felt sympathetic, but hadn't approached their leader about it.
Then, after all the angst and dread leading up to it, the day came. He knew it would. He had been anticipating it. But had also been trying to avoid thinking about it so much that he had hoped it would disappear. Unfortunately, the universe had not granted him his wish.
They had just finished up rounding up some low-class super-villains when they'd seen a bank robbery and figured they might as well stop it before heading back.
It wasn't even a big deal. A simple armed robbery. They were almost done. Nova had gotten the hostages out, and they were fighting the robbers. There were about 8 of them. They'd have this wrapped up in a matter of minutes.
Until the sound of the gunshot. An armed robber had shot one of the civilians that had yet to evacuate. It only grazed them. But it didn't matter. The only thing he could think about was the horrible sound of that gunshot.
...
BANG!
Peter froze, his fist drawn back to punch one of the robbers. The sound of the gunshot rang in his ears. He was gripping Uncle Ben's shirt, begging him to be alright, to hang on. His grip faltered, and the guy fell from his grasp. The rain stung against his face. He was kneeling on the ground. No, he was lying on the ground. He didn't feel the rain, but his face still stung. Someone had...punched him? The guy was holding a gun and went to knock it against Peter's head. He flinched, shooting a web at his face, blinding him. His lungs burned. His chest hurt from crying. His face was raw and puffy from tears. His lip was bloody from chewing on it.
Blood.
His hands were covered in red. It didn't wipe off. It smeared. It covered Uncle Ben's shirt, and Peter's hands and clothes.
Red and Blue.
Red and Blue lights flashing lights. Blue uniforms, red blood.
There had been so much noise. So much chaos. Now there was silence. The silence in the horror-filled moment as he tried to stop the bleeding. The silence when he could no longer feel a heartbeat. The silence where the sound of labored breaths had once been.
Silence.
The horrible moment when he had died. And when Peter had died a little with him.
Hands were all over him. People were asking if he was alright.
"Call Fury."
"Call an ambulance!"
"Fury, something's wrong with Spider-Man...he...he's freaking out..." A voice said. Sam?
"He's gone."
Red covered his hands.
He stared in horror at the face of the man he had pinned. This is the man he had let go. That meant Uncle Ben's blood was on his hands.
His whole body was numb. He couldn't feel anything. He was empty.
Why couldn't he breathe? Why was there a lump in his throat? He felt like he was suffocating. His hands scrambled to rip his mask off but were stopped once it had been pulled above his nose.
"Spider, you cannot expose your identity," someone with a calm voice said.
Spider. Spider bite. That stupid spider bite. If he had never been bitten by that stupid spider then Uncle Ben would still be here. A sob escaped his throat.
Crying. He was crying? When had that started? He still couldn't breathe. Every time he tried to suck in a breath, his chest felt tighter, and he felt more lightheaded.
He felt pressure. Someone was squeezing his hand. It helped to ground him slightly and keep him from the weird in-between of here and by his Uncle's side, watching him die, over and over and over again.
Another bang. Peter flinched violently, another sob escaping his throat.
"Shh, shh, Spidey. It was just the door," another voice mumbled. A female one this time.
"He's gone," Peter choked out. He hadn't been able to get any words out until that point, but after that, he couldn't seem to stop talking.
"He's gone. He's gone, he's not coming back. He's gone, he's gone, he's gone. It's my fault, he's gone, he's gone." Peter started rambling, hyperventilating.
He was having a panic attack. "He's gone, he's gone, he's gone. He's not coming back. He's gone, it's my fault, my fault, he's gone." There was yelling.
"Webhead!"
"Spidey, you gotta chill."
They didn't get it. They didn't understand the agony ripping him apart. The agony at realizing Uncle Ben was never coming back, and that Peter had helped to kill him.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," he whispered, curling further in on himself. He still couldn't breathe. He couldn't think straight. Tears burned his eyes as they got caught in the lenses of his mask, blurring his vision further.
Blurred vision. Streaks of red and blue. Red and blue lights. Blue uniforms. Red blood.
Blood.
So much blood.
He sobbed hysterically. Why had he been so stupid? Why hadn't he stopped the man? He was always so stupid. He could never save the ones he loved.
Bad things always happened to people close to Peter Parker. His parents died. Uncle Ben and Aunt May were burdened with a child they didn't ask for. Uncle Ben died. Aunt May lost her husband and was left alone to raise a kid and be the sole breadwinner. Harry's dad turned into the Goblin and Harry was attacked by Venom. The Hellicarrier crashed, leaving his team homeless. Connors lost his arm and then lost himself to the Lizard. Peter could never save anyone.
Why?
Why was he a curse? Why was he doomed to ruin the lives of those whom he was closest to? Why couldn't he breathe?
"C'mon Uncle Ben, keep breathing. Please, please don't leave me. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry Uncle Ben." His Uncle's hand weakly grasped his face.
There was a hand on his face. "Spidey, you need to breathe."
All he could do was sob, and let out another panicked breath.
Breathe.
"He's not breathing!"
Peter couldn't seem to get oxygen into his lungs. Every breath left him more winded than the last, leaving his chest burning, and his head dizzy.
"Spider-Man."
Spider-Man. Spider-Man brought destruction and chaos wherever he went. Did he think he could make a difference? Do something good for once in his worthless life? All he did was bring more pain. He was too late. Too late to stop Harry from becoming Venom. Too late to stop Norman from becoming the Goblin. Too late to save his teammates' homes. Too late to save Connors. Too late to repair the damage done to his relationships with Harry and MJ. Too late save Aunt May from the grief of losing her husband. Too late to save Uncle Ben.
He felt hands under his arms. He gasped, attempting to turn over. Was someone attacking him? He had been fighting. Did they still have a gun?
Gun.
He hated guns.
He looked up and saw the glint of the gun. The one that had shot his Uncle. Shot his Uncle. His Uncle had been shot. He'd caused his Uncle to get shot.
He glared at the man he had cornered. He couldn't do it. He couldn't cause more pain. He was too disgusted with himself already. He growled, kicking the gun so that it clattered against the ally. His fists shook with rage. At this monster. At himself. He was a monster. He was a freak. How could he allow something like this to happen because it wasn't his responsibility? How could he allow Uncle Ben to die for something that Peter did? Peter should have been the one to die that night. Not him. Not Uncle Ben.
His legs were numb and he couldn't stand. Someone had forced him into a standing position anyway, barely keeping him from falling back down again, in his grieved state.
Someone forced him to his feet. Someone in a blue uniform. They led him towards flashing red and blue lights.
Red and Blue.
Blue uniforms, red blood.
Blood.
So much blood.
Fury, looked at the team, telling them to wrap things up. He grabbed Peter under his arms, hauling him into a standing position, even though he almost immediately collapsed again. Nick led him to the jet where he almost instantly fell to the floor again his sobs growing in volume, and his breathing quickening again. If he didn't stop hyperventilating soon the kid was going to make himself pass out.
"Peter."
Peter just continued to gasp, and cry, and curl in on himself. He ripped his mask off scrubbing at his eyes.
"Peter!" Nick yelled, grabbing him by the shoulders. Peter made eye contact with him.
"You need to breathe."
"I-I c-an't. I c-can'n't bre-eathe," he sobbed. "I-I," he choked, his hand clenching around the suit fabric covering his heaving chest.
"Yes, you can," Nick said firmly, shifting him into a sitting.
"I-I can't-"
"Yes, you can," Nick repeated. "breathe in."
Peter tried, and several attempts still ended in him breaking down in another round of crying, but finally, he was able to take a semi-normal breath in.
"Good, now breathe out."
Peter did. He was able to get his breathing relatively back to normal, with only a few hiccups.
He and Nick were sitting on the floor, and Nick had his arm around Peter. He's not sure when that happened, and Peter was curled up against him, practically laying in his lap. Peter's face was red from crying and embarrassment. He had completely broken down in front of the team and in front of Fury, and in costume nonetheless. Nevertheless, Fury didn't mention it, and Peter made no move to peel himself away from the director's side.
"I'm-m sorry," Peter whispered.
"Parker-"
Peter flinched.
Nick sighed. "Peter, it's alright."
"No. It's not," Peter whispered harshly. "I-I," his breath hitched. "I killed him. He's dead because of me," he said, more tears streaming down his face. "Everyone who gets close to me has something bad happen," his voice trembled, and a shiver wracked his body. "My parents died, Harry became Ve-nom. Norman became the G-Goblin. The Helli-icarrier crashed. The team lost their home. Connors lost his arm and became the lizard trying to fix it. A-And Uncle Ben-" Peter's breath caught in his throat and he let out a strangled sounding sob.
Nick didn't consider himself the soft type, but you'd have to have a heart made of stone not to feel bad for the kid. Because that's just what he was. A kid. A kid who'd been thrown into the world all too soon. Innocence stripped away. Forced to grow up long before he should have had to.
Nick sighed. "Peter, there's nothing you can do now. If he hadn't died, you never would have become Spider-Man and a lot of other people would have died. Think about all the good things that have come from you being Spider-Man. You've made the team an actual team. You saved Harry from Venom and you still haven't given up on Connors. You saved all of those agents and me as the Hellicarier went down. Not to mention all the people you've saved over the last couple of years. You're a good kid, Parker. But the world's not fair. And no matter how much good you do, they'll always still be people out there destroying it," he said, his eyes hardening and his grip tightening slightly. Peter was only a kid. He shouldn't have to be put through this. "But that doesn't mean we stop fighting. As long as we have something worth fighting for, we don't give up. And we continue to fight for what's right. And for those who have had wrong things done to them."
Peter sniffled, burying his face further into Fury's chest as if to block out the cruel world around him.
"I'm sorry Nick…I…I just miss him so much." He choked.
Nick nodded. "I know, kid."
Peter continued to cry even after they landed on the Tricarrier. He stayed with Peter as he cried, grieving for his father figure until he fell into an uneasy sleep.
Nick sighed, still rubbing circles on the young boy's back. Life was so unfair. The best people had to deal with the most crap Nick had ever seen, and then there were people like Osbourne who continued to get away with things, even before he had become the Goblin. Life was far from fair.
He picked him up, ignoring the pins and needles that shot up his legs from sitting in that position for too long, He carried Peter, making sure to go in some of the more unused hallways so that no one would see Peter unmasked, and so that people wouldn't start getting any ideas that he cared too much. (Even if he did, no one else needed to know that)
He took Peter to his room, near the rest of the team's rooms. The other teens lived on the Tricarrior, but Peter really only used his room for recovering from missions, and maybe for a quick power nap, since he still lived with his Aunt. Nick gently laid him down on the bed tucking him under the covers. He sighed, ruffling Peter's hair slightly when the boy started to whimper, effectively soothing him.
After waiting a few minutes to make sure the boy wasn't plagued by any more nightmares, he moved to leave. He had just opened the door when Peter mumbled sleepily, "Thanks Nick…" Nick froze, turning around, but saw Peter had already fallen asleep again.
He smirked, going back to his own office. Nick knew what it was like, being plagued by nightmares. You didn't see the kinds of things they saw and just walk it off. They stayed with you. Haunted you. And some days were worse than others. On his worst days, Coulson was there for Nick and helped him through it.
And Nick would be there on the Team's worst days to help them through it. Because no one should be alone on days like those. And the team wouldn't be. Peter wouldn't be. After being a solo act for so long it took Peter time to adjust to letting people in, letting them get close again. But slowly he had started to trust them. And with his new team, and his mentor, they would make sure that he was never alone again. Ever.
I hope you guys enjoyed this version as much (or more than) the original! Let me know what you guys think of this one vs. the OG one. I'm curious to hear.
Feel free to review or PM me!
Love you guys! Bye!
~SunshineGirl14