Chapter 6: The Knight of Ren

Kylo watched as Rey put her clothes back on. In the low light of his office, she was stunning, her freckles extending to her shoulders and her back. Her hair had fallen out of its bun.

"I won't…" he said, unsteady in his words. "This changes nothing."

She looked at him, disappointment on her features. "Changes my paycheck or how you are with me and your family? I can't… You need help, Kylo. I can't give it to you unless you want it. I understand your relationship with your parents is a mess and I don't know all of it, and I am sorry for pushing the issue."

She buttoned her blazer, grabbed her purse and her keys, and walked away.

He reached for his shirt with a tentative hand, feeling the worst he had in weeks. Not because he thought what they did was a mistake, but seeing Rey leave, hurt, just like the day his mother dumped him at his uncle's doorstep.

Kylo Ren sat on the throne, the burned tapestries still on the walls.

He had all the power and yet, he was still empty. His soul was incomplete. The woman he loved was gone.

She left him, just like everyone does.

He shifted in his seat, leaning on his hand as he awaited for General Hux to come in and drone off the number of prisoners they captured.

Something caught his eye. A silver of an indent in the floor.

He stood up to inspect the indent. He found a hidden latch underneath the throne and pushed up on it. Resistance. Without any thought, he used the Force to push up on the latch and it opened with a click.

What was Snoke hiding in here?

Kylo reached into the board and found a tome, plain black with red letters etched on the bottom. A piece of parchment stuck out of it, corners folded as if it was looked at many times. He opened to the page and found nothing of note aside from Sith history he's read a thousand times in other tomes.

The parchment, however, was a different story.

It was torn out of a book somewhere, and Kylo read it. It wasn't anything related to the Force, as far as he knew. There were other types of non-Force-related magic around, like the lake with the siren, the fact if he went far enough on horseback he would stumble upon a forest with fairies, and something about a dragon occupying a castle by the sea. The Force just happened to be the most in tune with this part of the world, or at least in his bloodline.

Rey didn't have a bloodline though.

He read the parchment. From the beginning, it was a curse of some sort. Kylo recognized the tellings, it took people away from their homes and gave them new memories, stuck to live under the thumb of perpetual misery of the one who casts it.

A sinking horror flooded his gut. Why would Snoke have a curse like this?

And Snoke was still alive. Still out there. No one was safe still, despite Kylo's actions and Rey's.

Because it all came back to Rey.

He shoved the parchment into his pocket and shoved the latch closed as General Hux walked in.

Kylo couldn't stop replaying the events of several weeks ago in his head.

He touched Rey, he kissed her, and oh, how he loved it. He wasn't sure what had happened, whether he moved first, or maybe that was Rey, but all he knew was he kissed her… And fucked her.

Which, he liked it; he liked it very much. Apparently, sex is a great way to vent frustration. But there was one, minor, tiny detail that bothered him greatly.

He could hear her thoughts now.

It was like her voice was whispering in his ears in faint passing. He was too overclouded with lust to truly understand what was happening, but he heard her concerns, felt her panic as she had never done any of what they were doing before, not even kissing. He had to reassure her, be gentle with her, his anger fading away as something else took precedent. He heard her say something about her birth control, but she didn't say it. He had to ask her to confirm her words before making her speechless.

It changed the both of them.

Rey hadn't said very much since then. She put her clothes back on and told him he needed help that she couldn't give and left. She came back the next day because of course, she did, she needed the paycheck, and suddenly he was overwhelmed with horror that the sex to her was him forcing himself on her or else she would lose her job.

"So tell me about your assistant," Dr. Larma D'Acy said, her pen at the ready.

He snapped out of his hourly replay of his and Rey's coupling.

Kylo had already—begrudgingly—spilled most of the surface-level issues with his parents and his uncle, the fact he hated his job and what he was expected to do in it. He had taken a couple of shots before coming to this session, knowing it would be a topic on the menu and the alcohol took the guardedness off he held, since apparently when he was smashed he poured out all of his misery. Bad idea to be a little bit under the influence during therapy, yes.

Especially since he often daydreamed of Rey now.

"She's excellent," he said. "Perfect even. She gets the job done promptly."

"Does she handle everything?"

"My lunch, my calendar, makes calls, makes sure Hux doesn't bother me. Yes, she does."

"Would you say she's important to your daily life then?"

"She's…"

How would he describe her? Not one word can encompass how important Rey is. She was everything. She somehow put up with his ass for months now; she saw what he was too blind to see.

"She's very important. More important than anyone else in my life," Kylo said.

That made Larma tilt her head. "Oh?" she scribbled down more notes. "Do you want to elaborate?"

How was he going to explain that he was head over heels for her, that she was beautiful and he got a taste of her lips and her body and she was too kind to him for his own good and oh he could sense her feelings and hear blips of her thoughts inside his head?

"She was the reason I am here. She told me to get a grip on myself," he chuckled, thinking about that. She was right, in so many ways.

"It seems you care about her enough to listen to her."

"I do."

"Is there anything under the surface that might have prompted you to try to change?"

Watching Rey leave after their strenuous activities had something to do with it.

"My relationship with Rey is delicate. She's my employee. I have to be careful, but she's become more than just an assistant."

Way, way more than an assistant.

"You sound like you have a dependency on her."

Perhaps he did.

He hoped to let that fade away, because as everyone always does.

They always leave.

The irony that the throne Kylo took over was not vacant.

As Kylo strode through the doors, Snoke greeted him, a sly smirk on his mouth.

"You honestly thought you could defeat me, pathetic child."

Kylo reached for his sword, the glow cutting through the dim lighting of the room. "Just because I didn't finish the job doesn't mean you have power over me."

The images of Rey being tortured flickered across his mind, fueling his hatred towards his former, cruel, master.

"Is that so, Kylo Ren. You're a failure, a failure who couldn't even kill his own father and commit to the dark side. Then you went and fell for that nobody—"

"She is not nobody," he growled. "Rey is stronger than she knows. She told me the truth, and you knew, you knew all along that my father was alive." Kylo took a step closer, holding his sword up in his usual stance. "You burned the Jedi temple."

Snoke smirked. "Ah, I knew you would be too uncontrollable once you found out the truth. You waste your potential, chasing after a family that doesn't want you."

Kylo's chest heaved. "You're wrong."

"You cannot go back now, not after your terror. Shall we remind you of the cries of the ones you've slaughtered in cold blood for the dark side? The prisoners you've captured in your anger?"

The guilt that kept him grounded was not going to be used against him. "All these things I've done… I cannot take them back. But I will no longer be bound by the chains you set forth for me, nor my family." He got closer, ready to strike. "Now, off my throne. This sham of an empire is mine."

Snoke snickered before waving his hand and sending Kylo across the floor. The guards rushed in and cuffed him. He felt the pull of Snoke on his mind, trying to induce him into Force slumber. But he was stronger, he resisted with only a little bit of drowsiness.

"You tried, and clearly, you've failed, Kylo Ren."

Rey powered through her days with a lot of caffeination. Coffee was her lifeblood now.

Things were… Awkward around Kylo.

What they had done, Rey wasn't sure how to deal with it.

So she kept things at a distance, doing her daily tasks and letting him know of certain events. She noticed alongside his mysterious weekly conferences another time blocked off on Mondays in the mornings. She didn't see him until eleven pm and he would walk in, silent and broody as always, but looking like he isn't pissed off at the world.

He said nothing to her since that argument and she didn't bother to try this time.

One day after work she loaded up on the mint chocolate shake, extra-large. She was craving everything lately, more than usual. And everything smelled disgusting. Why was it her once greasy comfort food was now making her stomach lurch? She didn't even care for mint that much before, but seeing the new drink on Maz's menu and she had this urge to try it.

"Yo Rey!" Poe waved to her from the large rounded booth table. "Come join us. We're having a little Resistance get-together."

Finn joined in. "Yeah, we haven't seen much of you lately."

She had been going back to her apartment, saying hi to Rose and Paige when they returned from the garage and curling up into her bed to sleep because she was tired and depressed and trying not to think of what she and her boss had done to each other.

Sitting down with her drink, she listened to Poe go on about some outlandish story when he received twenty-three boxes of cookies instead of one box of twenty-three cookies.

"Got any stories, Rey?" Finn asked her, once everyone stopped laughing.

Rey swirled her straw, thinking long and hard. "I answered the door to Kylo Ren's office to find Armitage Hux right there."

Finn's eyes widened. "Oh."

Poe raised an eyebrow, taking a sip of his beer. "This sounds like it's gonna be good."

Rey continued. "I was specifically instructed to basically tell Hux to go away. So I said he had to make an appointment to meet with Kylo. He got mad and stomped away. The next day, he showed up and said he had an appointment, but Kylo was already in a meeting so I had to tell him to reschedule. He came by again the next week and I think we're up to a nine-week streak of dodging Hux's inquiries."

Poe laughed. "You know someone has a stick up their ass if Ren of all people is trying to avoid you."

Finn nodded. "There is no secret that Ren and Hux do not get along."

"Oh?" Rey looked at Finn. "Did you used to work there?"

"Yeah," Finn lowered his voice, looking at Poe to divert the conversation. "I quit before you came along. Snoke lured me into his business by helping me find my family, but I saw how he, Ren, and Hux stepped on people frequently and I had enough. It was all false promises."

Rey felt nauseous. "I'm so sorry Finn."

Finn placed a hand on her shoulder. "You're brave for sticking around for as long as you are, considering who Ren is."

If only Kylo didn't pay her so nicely.

There was a part of Rey that didn't want to leave. She felt tied to Kylo in a strange way that hurt whenever she watched his self-destructive behavior, the pushing of his parents away.

Poe continued talking about a wacky Facebook stalking story he experienced a while ago (Rey questioned why he was still on Facebook in the first place), and Rey let her mind wander after that.

That mint chocolate shake didn't agree with her still-lurching stomach.

Why was the alcohol so obnoxiously pungent tonight?

"I'm exhausted," Rey announced to the group. "I should get going. Ren has a meeting in the morning."

That was a lie, it was Monday in the morning. Kylo didn't come in until eleven.

She just needed to get out of that pub.

When she got home, she passed out as soon as she hit the bed.

Leia noticed the wary look on Maz's face as she approached the round table. Everyone sat around it, including a recovered Han and a very quiet Rey.

"Any word of the enemy?" Leia asked, keeping her composure in the face of the pain of her son being the leader of the enemy now.

Maz took off her oversized goggles. "Kylo Ren is being held in the dungeons. Snoke is still alive."

"Why keep him held captive?" Poe questioned. "Isn't he Snoke's best asset?"

Rey broke her silence. "Because it wasn't me who killed Snoke. It was Kylo."

Leia and Han were the only silent ones as the entire table exploded.

"There is no way he would have turned on his master!"

"Did he brainwash you into believing that?"

"It has to be a trick!"

Leia rolled her eyes and stood up, silencing everyone in the room. "I believe Rey's words. She was there, and she wouldn't lie about something as serious as this. Now, we need to prepare for an assault. Kylo Ren was much more merciful on the battlefield, but not Snoke."

Rey got up from her chair and left without another word, determination in her stance.

Leia sighed and placed her hand on Han's. He gave her a sympathetic smile.

"He's our son," he said in a lowered voice. "It figures he would pick someone equally as reckless and stubborn as he is."

Why the ever-living fuck was the sheriff calling Kylo at one in the morning?

He picked up and practically snapped at the caller. "What is it?"

"Is this Ben Solo?"

Oh for fuck's sake. Unless Rey was saying it, he preferred not to be called that.

"Yes?"

"We have your father, Han Solo."

Kylo sat up in his bed. "Wait, why?"

What reckless shit was his father up to?

He shook his head. "Never mind. I'm on my way."

Throwing on his black sweats, black sneakers, and a black hoodie, he left in a rush and drove over to the sheriff's office.

To Kylo's confusion and annoyance, his father was sitting in the sad jail cell and Sheriff Karga was standing by with Hux and Amilyn there.

Han looked up and seemed surprised that Kylo was even there.

"Hey kid," Han greeted with a too-wide grin.

Kylo had been witness to his dad cheating Uncle Lando during poker, running the blender without a lid on, backing his truck into Leia's new posies by accident, and other ridiculous things, but this took the cake.

Kylo gave a hesitant hello to Han before getting right down to business with Sheriff Karga. "Ben Solo here. What exactly am I bailing my dad out for?"

Amilyn opened her mouth but Hux jumped into a long, rant of an explanation before she could say anything.

"Your father tried to break into the third-floor office with a ladder and broke the window!"

Kylo had to prevent himself from laughing. What a terrible plan that was one-hundred percent Solo. "Okay, and? That's it?"

Sheriff Karga nodded. "The charges are the repairing of the window and bail."

Kylo rolled his eyes. His bank account had been taking more and more hits lately due to his recent activities, and leave it to Han to be yet another expense. "That's fine."

Amilyn looked relieved. "That's good to hear. Leia would have a heart attack if she found out about this."

Hux was not amused. "Yeah well, be glad it was only an expensive new window and not Snoke's actual office." He stomped out of the building, slamming the door behind him.

Karga let Han go once Kylo paid the bail.

Father and son sat in the Silencer all the way home. Kylo stopped in front of the mansion that gave him too many painful and nostalgic memories of what once was and what led to now.

Han put a hand on Kylo's shoulder. "Thank you, Ben."

This was awkward as hell.

"You're welcome," Kylo muttered.

Han got out of the Silencer and made his way down the walkway, smiling at Kylo one more time.

Kylo looked away.

"Rey."

Finn was standing in the doorway, watching her pack her satchel in a rush. The dagger laid on her sheets, still showing that little girl with the curly black hair dancing in a shimmering meadow. Her future, so close in her reach yet fading away with the impending death of Ben Solo.

"I'm going to investigate why Ben is being held captive," she stated firmly, not leaving anything up for debate.

Finn sighed. "You're sure? After all he has done? Attempting to kill Snoke? Trying to take over the First Order?"

Rey put the dagger into her bag. "You were an underling of someone who was controlling you. So was Ben. Now that he got the freedom, he lost it. He could die, and hope goes with him."

"If you die, hope goes with you."

She slammed her bag shut and grabbed her staff, recently constructed with her now violet-kyber crystal. "If Ben Solo dies, no, Prince Ben Organa-Solo of Alderaan, then all hope for redemption is lost."

Rey brushed past Finn, not looking back.

She knew what she had to do.

Kylo flopped back into his massive bed. It was what, two in the morning? Three? Goodbye sleep thanks to his dad's idiocy.

Why was Han trying to break into Snoke's office in the first place? For what reason? Was this an attempt to get Kylo's attention after he kicked him out several weeks ago?

Of course, thinking about that day in the office led to Kylo thinking about what happened after he kicked Han out. He sighed and turned over.

And nearly jumped out of his skin.

Rey was sleeping soundly, curled up, looking extremely pale and frail. How the ever-living fuck did Rey end up in his bed? And his apartment? He was too tired to question all of it. He could hear her thoughts and now she was sleeping in his bed.

He felt her forehead with the back of his hand and she felt hot like she was running a fever. She might be sick.

At the first touch, she moved over closer to him, placing her arm on his chest, trapping him. He couldn't leave the bed anymore. It was like a cat who sat upon one's leg.

Rey snuggled closer, her touch burning through his thin shirt.

"Ben," she mumbled.

Kylo resigned himself to sleep, feeling warm and comforted, if a bit confused.

"You think you can turn him? Pathetic child," Snoke said with a snarl.

Rey was on her knees before Kylo. Right then and there, as he looked into her teary hazel eyes, he heard her pleas.

"Ben," she whispered. Please I know you're in there…

It was in this moment, that everything was aligned and his heart, always ready, able to give at the first sign, that Kylo Ren realized his love for her was the belonging he craved.

He would never let that slip through his fingers.

She braced herself for her neck to be sliced off by the fiery red blade in his grip.

But it never came.

Rey heard the sword flying through the air, stabbing into what sounded like a hard surface. She fell onto her knees and then her side, watching as a shocked Snoke disappeared in smoke, and the guards came at them. Kylo flicked his fingers and the blue blade came back to Rey, who caught it as he knew she would.

The pair shared a look of understanding before turning back to back, swords at the ready to fight for each other.

The battle gave Kylo a certain thrill. He had never felt more powerful, more capable, than in the fleeting seconds of blade clashing against blade with Rey at his side.

Kylo's eyes snapped open and he sat up in his bed. The early morning light was grey, and his bed, once filled with the warmth of Rey's sleeping form, was cold.

The dream he experienced was… So real. So vivid, like a memory he was recalling and seeing for the first time. The dream, in his soul, did happen.

Great, he truly was going crazy. He could hear Rey's thoughts, he found her in his bed, and now he was actually believing that Snoke was an evil wizard and they used magical glowing swords to fight.

It was almost time for his appointment with Dr. D'Acy.

He sent Rey a simple text message.

Take the day off.

Kylo went through the motions, putting on his suit and tie and his thick coat, grabbing an umbrella, and driving to D'Acy's office.

The first question of the session was how he felt, and then the mention of Rey again.

"Last time we talked, you said Rey is important to you and there's a potential for heavy dependency. I've concluded that you may have such a dependency due to your childhood traumas. Have you received any physical affection from Rey? Or any emotional reciprocation?"

Kylo swallowed. Those two questions were burning. Yes and no. Yes and no. No easy answer to them.

"Her just being there every day would be enough for me. She managed to pull my coworker Hux into this ridiculously long streak of me avoiding him and telling him to reschedule appointments. It's gone rather well."

D'Acy chuckled. "It seems you might have affection for her. That is good, but as you've said, your situation and your current relationship with her has many boundaries. Is she your friend?"

"She's my assistant."

He wanted her as more than a friend. He wanted to bring her home to his parents—

Where did that come from? Why did he want to go home?

Home.

Rey.

The fact he drove Han back to his old house last night dug up so many buried feelings.

"I talked to my father last night without fighting or snapping," Kylo said, changing the subject. "Well, beyond just a few words. He called me to bail him out."

"How did you feel?"

"Guilty."

That stupid guilt continued to drag him down, over and over, like chains.

Rey walked over the snowy woods for ages, and ages, and ages. Somehow it never ended, never ceased. She was lost. She knew the way to the First Order's castle, where Ben was kept. So why was she wandering through a never-ending forest?

She reached out with the Force and found nothing. There was nothing from Ben. Not even the flickerings of their bond opening.

She came upon a small clearing, and Snoke was waiting for her, surrounded by his cult of guards.

"Where is Ben?" she questioned, her tone low and deadly. She reached for her staff, a violet glow cutting against the snowy night.

"Right where he belongs. Once you are gone, he will have no choice but to obey me," Snoke said, a sinister grin on his face. "You two share a bond that connects your souls together. The sorrow and anguish will fuel the dark side and Kylo Ren will reign forever, just as his grandfather before him allowed his suffering to let him rule as Darth Vader."

Rey gripped her staff with two hands. "No. Ben Solo will live on, even after I am gone."

"You're so hopelessly naive, child."

"Naive? Or maybe this world needs hope."

"You should have let your hatred for the boy roar! Now you'll die." Snoke snapped his fingers, and one of the cultists in red shot an arrow into the sky. "Kill the girl," he ordered, snapping the reins on his horse before leaving.

Rey braced herself. She was outnumbered by seven to one. But she could handle it. She could.

You're stronger than you know, Rey.

With a battle cry and Ben's words in her mind, she charged at the group, swinging her staff.

Rey laid back down on her bed. She had woken up and threw up almost immediately. Bile remained in her throat and she was in tears and she was so, so tired. She thanked for small mercies that Kylo texted her that she was being given a day off out of the blue.

Paige knocked on her door, holding a bowl of soup. "Rey? You haven't eaten. Rose is at the garage but she told me you didn't get up this morning."

The soup smelled lovely.

Rey sat up. "I don't know if I have the flu or I ate something bad," she said. Paige placed the soup on her bedside stand. "And everything smells so strong."

Paige raised an eyebrow. "Smells?"

Rey nodded. "Yeah. Last night at Maz's everything was just… Unappealing. I could smell the alcohol across the room."

Paige laughed. "I'd imagine a queasy stomach doesn't do well with typical pub fare. For a moment it sounded like you could be pregnant, with the smell thing and all."

Rey wanted to laugh. She should have laughed. It was a harmless joke.

Panic rushed through her before she calmed down. She had spotting last week, which she was used to. She took her pill seriously. There was no way she was pregnant. No way. The chances of that happening were… Well, frankly none. Her body was still not used to more regular cycles.

Rey gave a wry smile before reaching for the bowl of soup. "Probably just my body not used to being fed frequently these last few months since I got this job."

Paige gave her a pity nod. Rey hated it but she couldn't complain, not after how sweet Paige and Rose have been to her.

The two talked for a bit and Rey told her she had to run a few errands in a while. Paige went back to work, Rey drank down the broth and felt a little bit better, strong enough to go out.

She stopped by the drugstore. She cursed the town for being so small as to only have one and to her horror, it was within bird's eye view of First Order Investments. But anyone could be going in for any number of reasons, so she sucked in a breath and casually made her way inside.

She grabbed her essentials. Cheap conditioner that did wonders for her hair. Feminine hygiene products. Some chocolate she was craving, along with the chocolate mints that she now had a taste for.

Rey paused in front of the pregnancy tests. There was no way she was pregnant. None. Why was she even here?

She had to rule it out. She would get a negative then move on with her own scare and everything would go back to her working her job, avoiding Kylo, spending time with her friends. Saying hi to Leia in passing. Everything wasn't going to change because of one minor fear.

She reached for the pregnancy test on the shelf when a woman bumped into her.

"Oh dear I'm so sorry," the woman said. Rey recognized her from the hospital staff. The receptionist.

"It's no big deal," Rey said with a half-smile. She waited for the woman to disappear out of sight before she grabbed the pregnancy test then made a casual mad-dash for the cashier to get the hell out of there before anyone else saw the pregnancy test.

The cashier was a bored teenager who didn't seem to care, to Rey's relief.

When she got back to her apartment, she scrambled to open the box.

And when she finished the test, she was shaking as she waited for the result, expecting a negative.

It wasn't negative.

Kylo sat in his cell. There was no Force in this prison. Feeling cut off from it left him a little bit empty. A little cold. Something that he felt for all his life and he was numb without it, like losing a limb or a sixth sense.

He couldn't feel Rey at all.

His once-former Knights and Hux came down to his cell.

"Do as Snoke says," Hux said.

Kylo remained limp on the ground as his once-loyal knights grabbed him by the arms and dragged him out of the cell onto the ground.

"I so desperately wish I could kill you, but Snoke says you'll be dead on the inside soon enough," Hux said with a sneer.

Kylo remained on his knees, waiting for his punishment that he would gladly take over and over.

"Restrain him," Hux ordered.

Kylo was roughly held up by his arms, his knees barely touched the dirty floor.

He closed his eyes to relish in the relief of the Force. It was so dizzying and electrifying he almost didn't notice that he could feel Rey, right by his side.

He turned his head to get one more look at her before being forced back into his prison to waste away.

Rey was fighting something, dancing around with grace. She hit something with all of her strength, before stabbing her staff—a beautiful, glowing purple staff— before something scratched her arm.

Kylo's eyes widened and he almost jerked at that action.

Rey cried out in pain but she kept going. Kylo knew she was a formidable fighter and would always win.

She stuttered forward and something was in her back, a spear. Blood soaked her grey wraps as she whirled around with on final battle cry and her staff was stabbed into the attacker.

She caught sight of Kylo, her eyes glistening as she gasped for air.

"Ben," she whispered, her fingers reaching out for him. "Don't leave me alone."

Kylo jerked at the grips holding him in place. "No," he said. "No!" he cried out louder, trying to get to her as she fell to the ground on her side. "Rey!"

"Throw him back into his cell!" Hux ordered.

Kylo fought against his knights, feeling the lifeforce of Rey fade away, and the connection ended.

The knights and Hux locked the cell and Ben Solo got back up on his feet, clutching at the bars and screaming.

"What have you done to her?!" His rage echoed off the walls. If he had his sword he would have torn the whole place to shreds. "You bastards! What have you done to her?!"

Tears dripped down his face.

He was cut off from the Force again, unable to feel the gaping hole in his soul.

Rey couldn't sleep.

There was too much to worry about.

She was pregnant with Kylo Ren's child.

She rolled over in her bed with a huff. She once mused to herself that she did want a child of her own to love and cherish one day, but this? This wasn't what she had in mind. She wasn't going to give up this child, it wasn't even a question in her mind. She would give her child what she herself was denied.

The issue lied in the fact the father hated Rey. Would he ever care about the baby? Would he even love it as much as she was already?

Kylo didn't want her in his life, didn't want her meddling. So, a child of hers being involved was out of the equation.

Rey trembled as she curled up into her pillow and cried. She was alone and scared once more. The child was her burden to bear, and hers alone.

You're not alone.

Rose knocked on her door. Great, she was hearing Kylo's voice inside her head and she had to tell Rose and Paige why she was a sobbing mess.

Fantastic.

"Rey? You okay?" Rose asked, sitting down on the bed. "Paige told me about it earlier. Are you still sick?"

Rey cried harder before sitting up. "I-I'm not. I'm just…"

Pregnant with my boss' baby because we hate-fucked a few weeks ago without protection.

What an answer.

"I think I need to see my doctor," Rey said, once she was able to collect herself enough to say it and avoid the truth. No one needed to know, and even though Kylo was a social recluse, there was still a chance it would get out that she was pregnant and he would connect the dots.

Rey nearly tripped over her feet. She was glad she had given the map to Maz when she did, for she was being followed through the woods by the Knights of Ren.

A red glow cut through her vision. Without thinking, Rey raised her staff to fight back, but it was futile. It was yanked from her grip and she was frozen on the spot by some invisible force. The Force itself, being used against her.

Cloaked in black and an obsidian helmet, was the Knights' leader. His hood was over his helm, making him more intimidating in size and stature. The red glow of his blade did not help matters.

"The girl I heard so much about," he said, voice distorted by the metal. "Where is the map?"

She couldn't say anything. She couldn't give away the important information that the kingdom of Alderaan needed desperately.

Kylo Ren raised his free hand to her face. Her mind was being pushed at, like he was digging around for something.

"You've seen it."

He sheathed his sword and waved his hand at her, the world going dark as strong arms picked her up.

Rey looked exhausted for the rest of the week.

She came back in on Tuesday, her eyes sagged and darkened. She did her tasks as per usual, but much slower in pace. She was gone for over an hour and lunch was later than Kylo was used to.

It didn't bother him that lunch was later. However, he was concerned about Rey's health. Was she not getting enough sleep?

When she spoke to him in very few sentences, she avoided looking at him in the eyes. This went on for the rest of the week and even the next. She looked pale and sick but she didn't complain, not once.

That night, once Rey left, Kylo contemplated Rey's exhaustion and decided that maybe he needed a different opinion outside of his therapist.

So he got into his Silencer and drove to the front of his old childhood home.

Getting out, he stopped there by the gateway and stared.

Was he really going to do this? Step inside a place he once banished himself from? Because his parents didn't want him?

He reached for the lock on the gate and opened it, relieved that the locks hadn't changed. Snoke would berate him for being so sentimental and keeping the key, but he found he couldn't care.

Stepping into the yard, Kylo made slow steps until he was at the front porch. He rang the doorbell and it opened to his mother.

Her eyes were wide in surprise, and he stiffened up, expecting her to open her mouth and yell.

"Ben," she said softly. "How are you?"

"I'm uh, I'm fine," he said, swallowing roughly. "Well, I wanted to talk to you about something, if that's okay."

Leia nodded, stepping back from the door. "Of course. Whenever you need it, Ben, I'm here to listen."

He stepped inside and a wave of nostalgia hit him. The same towering house, with the same rugs and same portraits on the walls. Kylo was ten years old again.

Yet, this place didn't feel like home. It felt wrong, like it was all just for show.

Leia led him to her office and sat down on the sofa. It was comical, how small she was in comparison to his size.

"Did you want anything to drink?" Leia asked.

"No, I'm fine," he said, finding it hard to even think. "I wanted advice on something. I messed up my relationship with Rey."

"Ah, your assistant. She's a lovely girl. Wait, relationship?"

"I… Yes. Or lack of one. I don't know. We pushed each other's buttons a lot and in recent weeks we…"

He leaned on his knees and buried his face in his hands. "I fucked up Mom."

It was so easy to say everything to his mother. About the still guilt on his shoulders for what he did to his father, whatever that may be. About how he is basically in love with Rey but messed up every single interaction and impression with her. He even spilled that they had sex and didn't really even speak of it afterward and thus, everything was beyond awkward and now he was concerned for Rey's health but didn't know how to broach the topic or where they stood.

Leia listened to it all, with no interruptions. Once Kylo was finished, Leia placed a hand on his head, rubbing small circles in his hair like she used to do when he was a child.

"First, I would just ask her if she's okay and if she needs anything. Second, I would bring her something in return. Show her your appreciation."

"I suppose this is a bad time to mention that I've been secretly paying her rent behind her back?" Kylo said.

Leia sighed. "Why were you paying her rent?"

"Snoke demanded a raise in her rent due to how much I pay her."

"Can't say I'm surprised."

"Also your brother has been living with me."

Leia raised an eyebrow. "What?"

"I um, I tried to prevent the repossession of his warehouse but Snoke was not having it so I told Luke to take my guest bedroom so he wasn't on the streets."

"And yet Luke wasn't going to bother to tell me this," Leia said, rolling her eyes. "How long has this arrangement been going on?"

"Over a month now."

"Ben…"

Kylo put his hands up in defense. "Luke told me not to tell you if I ever did speak to you again."

"He's getting an earful in the morning for being an idiot."

"When's my earful?"

Leia patted Kylo's head. "You've gone through enough. You're definitely Han's son…"

He wrinkled his nose at that.

"But you're also my son. And a Skywalker. Drama and idiocy are in your blood. It's expected."

"Am I supposed to feel better with that?"

Leia nodded. "You're also kind, Ben."

He went home that night, feeling a little bit better, knowing what he had to do.

He got up extra early and went to buy chocolate with a hint of mint flavor—he noticed the treats on her desk were chocolate peppermint candies and the wrappers were strewn everywhere.

Kylo breathed in and out in his car, fixing his hair in the mirror. Everything would be fine.

He waited at his office. And waited.

It was past nine and she did not show up.

He looked at his phone and found no text messages. Odd. She was always on time or early.

Deciding to wait, he checked his email and saw something that made his stomach sink to the floor.

It was from Amilyn, who said Rey had put in her two-weeks notice.

But why?

Why was she quitting?

What had he done?

He had pushed her away and he didn't even realize it.

Grabbing the chocolates he rushed to the front desk.

"Amilyn, where's Rey? I just got your email, if she put in her two weeks why isn't she here?" He practically begged.

Amilyn bit her lip. "She's moving out of town. I don't know why. She said she was leaving today."

Oh.

Oh no.

He had to find her.

"Where is she? Please? Where does she live?"

Amilyn remained neutral and calm. "It's against HR policy, you know."

He ran his hand over his face. "Figures. I need to see her."

Amilyn gave him a knowing smile. "Check your phone."

Kylo's phone buzzed in his pocket. It was Rey's apartment address.

"Thank you, Amilyn."

He rushed out the door, not even apologizing when he shoved into Hux and he protested.

He went to her apartment and knocked with a lot of urgency.

Rose Tico answered, looking surprised and rather pissed off. "Oh. You."

Kylo was panting, having climbed four stories. "Where is Rey?"

Rose crossed her arms. "Why should I tell you? You've made her life miserable. She said she quit and she was moving out. She's gone."

The blood drained from his face. "Did she leave already?"

"She left like ten minutes ago with everything she owned."

Ten minutes. He could easily make that up by breaking a lot of speeding laws.

"Thank you, Rose."

Rose was stunned as he ran back down the stairs.

He got into his car and silently thanked the fact that yes he had a stupidly expensive shiny car that could go zero to sixty in five seconds. He stepped on the gas and raced to the town border, looking for her car. It was an old clunker, but she took care of it. His dad would probably like her for that alone.

He was driving like a typical rich douchebag but he found he couldn't care. The trees were a blur and his heart was racing.

He saw her car and he picked up the speed, passing her and stopping right in front of the town line.

Rey had to step on her breaks. She got out of her car and she did not look pleased.

He would endure her rants and her anger for the rest of his life if she let him.

Kylo got out and saw the deep bags under her eyes were even worse than before. "Rey…"

"You asshole! You almost crashed into me."

"But I didn't. I had to stop you. You wouldn't have pulled over if you saw me."

She yawned and rolled her eyes. "No kidding."

Kylo stopped himself. He was here for a reason. "Why are you quitting Rey? I… I want to talk. Please."

"Talk about what? The fact you hate me? That I'm just some fuck toy to you?"

Oh shit.

"No no! You're important to me Rey, more than you'll ever know. I don't… I'm… I'm sorry Rey. I'm sorry for everything. For snapping at you. For making you feel like I hate you, because I could never, ever hate you."

Her eyes were like glass in the dull light of the grey skies. "I can't come back. I have to leave. Don't say things like that Kylo."

He frowned. "Rey, what's going on? Why are you leaving? Is it because of me, I'm… I'm truly sorry. But you have… Friends. I see them every day when I walk at night and you're always smiling for them and my mother adores you and your roommate was ready to kick my ass for you so please, can we have coffee? You look so tired Rey. I want to help you."

She squeezed her eyes shut. "No. I can't. I cannot… I cannot. You and your parents and you work for that asshole and I cannot take it Kylo! Rose told me that our fucking rent went up by six-hundred the last two months and she got the receipts that it was paid. Snoke is our landlord and he just does that on a whim?"

His fists tightened up. Of course. The very thing Kylo tried to loophole to death but ultimately decided to pay for it instead.

Before he could open his mouth to explain, Rey continued.

"Then I dug around in various records and do you want to explain to me how the fuck you had the lack of heart to make your own uncle homeless?!"

"Rey…"

So this was what she truly thought of him. He was a monster in her eyes. Just like the rest of the town did.

He fought back his tears.

"Then you just… Fuck me and then never say anything about it. You said nothing would change but everything did change! You never once reassured me that you wouldn't come asking again or use it against me."

Now he was just offended, even if he knew he was being shit at starting the conversation. "I would never use that against you, ever," he snapped. "You don't owe me anything and I would certainly never lord over your body so you could keep your job."

"Yes because now, when I'm leaving, you say that. I'm tired Ben. I'm so tired. You said nothing to me and now you are. I'm so confused and I can't handle it anymore." Her hand reached for the handle of her car, but he stepped in the way.

"No," he stated simply. "You're running away. I can fix this. I can… I want to."

She shook her head. "Stop it."

He was confused. "What?"

"Stop this! Stop trying to make me stay! I can't keep waiting all my life for disappointment Ben so please, let me leave. I've waited all my life for my family to come back for me and they never came!"

"I would never abandon you, Rey." Tears were flowing freely now, but Kylo didn't care. He waved his hands in dramatic gestures. "I don't leave the people I love behind! And how does it make me feel, knowing that because of me, you're abandoning people who care about you? Who wouldn't throw you away like garbage? It goes both ways sweetheart."

"Why are you making this so hard Ben?!"

He rolled his eyes in frustration, raising his hand towards her. "Because I care about you, damn it!"

Something within him was desperate, urging. Dying. He couldn't lose her like this. His soul, so empty for so long, feeling whole once more when she came into his life. His dreams showing they were so much more, so capable together. Something told him to do anything, that he had the power within his reach if he could just call upon it.

So when his hand neared her temple in a gentle wave, he tugged on that instinct, that feeling. He didn't know why he did it. All he wanted was to show her how much he truly cared for her. How much he loved her.

Before he could tuck her hair back behind her ear, her eyes had slid shut and she collapsed.

"Rey?" He caught her in his arms, sinking to the ground. She was limp and boneless, eyes closed as if she was in a deep, peaceful sleep. "Rey!" He sobbed. What the hell did he just do? What just happened to her? Was it her exhaustion coming up on her? Was it the argument? Was it… Whatever the hell he just did on pure instinct? That thing he tugged upon?

Even when he didn't watch her go across the town line, he was still losing Rey. Something was wrong.

"Rey please wake up!" He gently shook her in his arms. "Please!"

She didn't respond, her breathing even with her chest rising and falling gently.

"What have I done to you?" he whispered.