I want to clarify the ships in this fic. I typically try to avoid Emma ships in my Charming family fics as I don't find them important to the story and I want to keep my stories enjoyable by anyone who loves Snowing, but may differ on what their Emma OTP is. That being said, there will be positive references to Baelfire, though Swanfire is not and will not be a thing. Captain Swan will not be bashed, but they are not together in this fic. As an outside, Outlaw Queen is together (and Robin isn't going to die), but they're a background couple. The main point of this fic is Snowing, Charming Family and Regina's relationship with both. And like CS, Rumbelle isn't bashed...but if you are diehard on them being endgame...you might not want to read.

Regina's legs dangle over the side of her bed as she pulls her robe closer to her. Every morning when she woke up under the curse, she'd look out her large window and take in her beautiful apple tree. Now, all it does is remind her of the time she tried to kill Snow. When things were cursed, she'd strut through town and purposefully bump into "Mary Margaret' every single day. At the time, she loved watching her squirm, unable to fight back.

Now, what she wouldn't give to have Snow yell at her to be a better person again.

Regina Mills has lost a lot in her life. Her fiancé was murdered when she was 18 years old, by her own mother. She was responsible for her father's death. Decades later, her mother was killed in front of her. So much murder, so much devastation and at the end of it all, she was left standing.

How was that fair? Daniel and her father were good people. They deserved to live full lives with happiness. Her mother had been evil, possibly worse than Regina. And yet, she imagined a life where maybe they could've been close. Maybe they could've talked things out. Maybe…well, she had a million maybes because her mother was dead and she didn't have to face the reality that their relationship likely never would've changed.

It's the same with Snow. They had gotten better. Snow was the first person she wanted to go to for advice with Robin. When she found out Zelena was pregnant, she wanted to call her to talk about it. She never would've thought that was possible years ago. And while Snow's hope speeches were still incredibly annoying…she'd give anything to hear one again.

They had become a family again. The little girl she once loathed was now the woman that she wasn't sure she could go on without.

A pair of gruff yet soft arms wrap around her. Regina melts into Robin's embrace, shutting her eyes. Zelena is locked away, baby Margot is safe. Both of them are alive, in spite of everything Camelot threw at them. They should be a happy family now and yet; Regina knows there's an air of sadness hanging above them. It's like the rain cloud in antidepressant commercials. One moment they're smiling over Roland acing a spelling test and the next, Regina wants to hide in the bathroom and sob.

Regina's never been allowed to grieve before. Living with Leopold, she had to put on a brave face. She wanted to be feared, not pitied. No one even knew about Daniel; he was her secret. After her dad, she had woken up in Storybrooke and buried the pain under her need for revenge. With her mom, she let that bubble over into rage and she focused all of it on Snow and dragging Henry back to her.

With Robin, it's different. He sends the kids to play and pulls her into a room. Robin orders her to let it all out and hugs her tightly while she cries. If she wants to be alone, he respects that, but is never far away. He's her anchor in this storm of grief. She knew when Snow died that she wouldn't allow herself to fall into darkness again, but this helps. She's not alone this time, she has a whole army behind her.

She also feels guilty that it's no enough. That she still has this ache in her heart, one that can never be filled. Snow is gone. Before she filled these holes with revenge and murder. What was she supposed to do now?

Well, for a start, she had tried to do all she could to help David. She knows their relationship is complicated. He's saved her life a few times, but there's still the quips. The ones where both of them are kidding…but are they? He taught her to dance in Camelot and they've called each other family. They're the type of close that you only get because you're thrust into each other so many times. Still, she wonders if they would be this close without Snow. Probably not.

And yet, she's there every single day. No matter what he needs or even if he doesn't want anything at all. She's there.

"I'm going to the Charmings' today," she mutters. "Made a lasagna."

Robin doesn't say they have enough food or that she's been there every day this week. Instead, he just presses a kiss to her temple. "Want me to come?"

Regina shakes her head, some hair getting caught in her mouth in the process. "I probably wont stay long. Besides, the boys have school and you've got Margot."

"She's pretty portable."

Regina fights a smile. How does he do that to her? "Still. I'll be fine."

"Snow would be proud that she found a way for you and David to spend more than five seconds alone in a room together."

She rolls her eyes. "Yeah. If she'd like to come express her happiness, that'd be great."

Robin sighs, rubbing her back. "What do you need from me today?"

Regina cranes her neck to face him. "Just take care of the kids. Please." She kisses his jaw, shutting her eyes as his beard tickles her lips. "I love you."

"I love you too."

After getting in her pantsuit, she fiddles through her jewelry box, trying to find the perfect pair of earrings. As she moves back a drawer, she discovers a thin silver chain with a whittled raven hanging off of it. The wood's faded in time and curses, but she'd recognize it anywhere.

"I saw it at the market, Regina!" A young Snow squealed excitedly as she pressed it to Regina's palm.

Regina stared at it as if it would explode. "Oh."

"It's for you. The bird's a raven," Snow explained. "I know that you love them."

"Well…" Regina forced a smile. "Thank you, Snow."

She stuffed the necklace at the bottom of her jewelry box later that night and never looked at it until it somehow made it over through the curse. She scoffed at the time, but something in her wouldn't let her discard it.

Regina pulls the necklace to her chest and shuts her eyes, trying to remember something good from Snow's childhood. She certainly couldn't have been angry and resentful all the time. There had to be a reason why Snow believed in her, why she loved her. But outside doing her hair every morning and sneaking her a few treats at a ball here or there…Regina had been a terrible step-mother. She didn't ask to be one and she blamed Snow for why she had to. A part of her knows she was never fully unjust with her hatred towards Snow, especially after Cora's murder.

But God, why had she spent so long hating her when she just could've loved?

Regina shakes the thought from her mind and clasps the god-awful necklace around her neck. Snow always did have horrible taste when it came to fashion as a kid.

She walks out of the room, poking her head in each room. Margot and Roland are sleeping, as she expected. When she reaches her eldest's, though, she finds the light on. Pushing the door open, Regina sees Henry at his desk. He's still in pajamas, focused intently on something. Regina steps closer and sees a mess of paper, scissors, glue, his calligraphy set and pictures. She reaches down and picks up one, it's of Henry and Snow under the curse. They're at a party of some sort, one Regina was never made aware of. "Mary Margaret" is beaming, holding an oversized handmade card in one hand, her other arm wrapped around Henry. He was so much smaller then. In just a year and a half, he's lost his baby face and turned into a pre-teen.

"That was at the party Emma threw for Grandma when Kathryn showed up alive," Henry says. "My class made her a card."

Regina nods. "I like this picture." She settles onto the bed, twirling the picture in her fingers. Henry's got bags under his eyes and his face is paler than usual. "You didn't sleep."

Henry shrugs. "I've been working on this for a while."

"What exactly is…this?"

"A new version of the storybook. It ends when you cast the curse…but that's not where our story ends."

Regina nods, a small smile on her face. "It was just the beginning."

"Exactly." Henry pastes a newspaper article from when Emma was elected as sheriff. "So, this is a new book. With mostly good memories."

"That's a really sweet idea, Henry."

"I figured I could give it to Emma." He frowns, smoothing the edges of the clipping. "When she talks to me that is."

Regina puts a hand on his shoulder. "Sweetie, she's going through a lot of pain right now."

"I know, but when my dad died, she was there for me. I just wish she would let me be there for her."

"I understand that, I do. But do you remember when I was upset about Marian coming back?" Henry nods. "I needed my space, to think and clear my head. I hate to admit it, but Emma and I are a lot alike. We need time, talking isn't our strong suit."

Henry nods. "I get it."

Regina looks down at the picture once more, another quickly clouding her mind. Turning around in the hospital after getting off the phone with Sidney, finding "Mary Margaret" so lovingly staring down at Henry. Grandmother and grandson meeting for the first time and no one knew it. The love she showed to him before she even knew they were related will forever stay with Regina.

"She loved you, Henry," Regina says. "So much."

Henry doesn't look up from his pictures. "Yeah."

"And you look just like her." That was one of the many things that didn't leave Regina's mind once she found out who Henry's biological mother was. "I don't see much of Emma or Baelfire in you…but Snow…inside and out, you are her."

Henry doesn't say anything. Regina puts down the picture and rises to her feet. She wraps her arms around Henry's neck, kissing his temple. Henry's lip quivers and a silent tear falls down his face.

"Oh, my little prince," she whispers.

"It's just not fair," Henry's voice cracks in a way that's both grief and puberty. "I mean…I should know by now that life isn't…but…"

"Henry, you are 13 years old. Far too young to be so cynical." She gives him another kiss. "You are the great hope of this family, you believe when no one else does. And it's not fair that you've had to face so much loss at such a young age. No one deserves that. You have lost so many people and I am so sorry."

She's his mom. She's supposed to protect him from pain and she's not naïve that she could have added to it. Regina never wanted Henry to have a childhood like hers and for the most part, she's succeeded. If only she could prevent him from losing people like she had.

"When I met the Apprentice and found out that the pen was magical…I asked if I could bring my dad back."

Regina sighs. "Oh, Henry…"

He shakes his head. "I can't. So, I couldn't do it with Grandma…does mean I didn't try."

"There's not a way to bring her back, baby. If there was, you know I would've done it by now."

"I know, Mom." He pulls away to look at her and sincerity is written on her face. "I just…wish I could do something. Anything. Gramps is trying to keep it all together, Emma won't talk to anyone and Neal…he's going to grow up without a mom."

Regina nods. "I know, honey. But sometimes all we can do is be there for people."

"So…I can skip school and go with you to Gramps' house?"

She laughs, shaking her head. "Nice try. Since you didn't sleep, I'll let you stay home and rest."

"But Mom…"

"I'm serious, Henry. Get some sleep. This project can wait."

Henry rolls his eyes but pushes himself up. "I love you."

"I love you too. Robin will be back after he drops off Roland, if you need anything."

Regina is ten minutes late to the Charmings'. She was halfway to the loft when she remembered they don't live there anymore. She spent so much time there over the past few years, thinking they could live anywhere else is still just so weird. The loft was supposed to be a punishment: uncomfortable furniture, far from Granny's and her job. But in the end…Snow, David and Emma made it a home.

She can't accept that someday, another family could live there.

Regina pulls her car behind Emma's bug and grabs the lasagna from the passenger seat. She makes her way up the uneven rock path to the porch and pauses by the door. The welcome mat she gave them when they moved in is still parked outside.

The Charmings

She takes a deep breath and rings the bell. David answers, still in his pajamas. Spit up is encrusted in his shoulder, pancake batter across the "University of Maine" lettering. His flannel sweats have holes in the knee. He hasn't shaved in awhile and his beard is beginning to take form. He is not the man she remembers and it scares her a little.

"Hey." His voice comes out soft, tired.

"Hey," She holds out the dish. "I brought lasagna."

His lips tug upwards as he steps aside, gesturing for her to come in, taking the dish in the process. Before she's fully inside, she spots Emma storming up the stairs. She bites her lip. The two haven't spoken since the funeral. She avoids her when she drops by. If they're in the same room, Emma won't meet her eye. Regina's done everything to show that she's in Emma's corner, just like Emma was in hers when "Marian" came back. She thought they had made some progress, but all of this just seemed to make them crash into a wall.

"Emma, I brought food." It sounds so lame and forced and Regina hates herself for it.

Emma stays with her back turned, her fingers fiddling together. "Great," her voice drips with sarcasm.

Regina wants to say something, anything to make it better. "And I ran into Archie when I was picking up coffee, he was saying he'd love to talk to you and your dad." The former cricket had been more than happy to help the family out when Regina saw him the day before.

Emma spins around with such vigor, Regina jumps back a bit. "Why are you even here, Regina?"

David fixes his daughter with a look only a parent can muster. Regina knows she's given it to Henry a time or two over the years. "Emma."

"I'm serious, Dad! She hated Mom when she was alive, she tried to kill her numerous times. I'm sure she's glad she's dead."

Emma's words strike a hole through Regina's heart. It's nothing she hasn't told herself, outside being glad that Snow is dead. Though, she's sure more people than just Emma have that opinion. Everyone seemed surprised when she cried at the service. Did she really ever show how much she loved Snow?

"That's not true, Emma," is the only thing she can think to say.

"Whatever. I took on that stupid curse to save you and look where that got me. I don't want to see you again!"

Emma disappears up the stairs and Regina flinches when the door slams. She leans against a wall, pursing her lips together and begging herself not to cry.

"Regina," David says softly. "She doesn't mean it, she's in pain."

"No, she's right," Regina opens her mouth, shuts it and then sucks in a breath. "Emma wouldn't have become the Dark One if the vortex didn't try to absorb me. Then we wouldn't have to go to Camelot…"

"You think we wouldn't have found a cure for you?"

David's face is a mix of gentle, confused and slightly stern. She's brought back to when she was surprised that he and Snow saved her from Greg and Tamara. He couldn't see why she would be.

"Either way…Snow wouldn't have gotten hurt, no one would've had to turn her…"

"No," David shakes his head. "Emma made a choice. And that's not to say I blame her for this. She was dark, vulnerable. But ultimately, she chose to take this on for you. She chose to turn Snow into a Dark One…and Snow…" He clenches his eyes shut. "She chose to sacrifice herself."

Regina bites her lip, gently touching his arm. "She saved Emma's life."

"I know," his voice breaks out in a whisper. "And I am so glad for that…but she didn't even talk to me about it, Regina." His blue eyes open, teary and wide. "She just…took it on. Didn't give me a chance to do anything."

"Because she didn't want to lose you."

"Oh, and I can lose her?" He shakes his head. "I love her so much and I miss her…but I'm also mad at her. I'm mad at her for saving my daughter's life."

"David, you just said you don't blame Emma."

"I don't, but why do I have to choose? Why do I have to decide whether I get both my wife and my daughter?" He purses his lips together. "Why can't I just have them both?"

Regina tightens her grip on him and rests her head on his shoulder. He maneuvers the lasagna to put an arm around her and both let out shaky breaths.

"I feel like I'm going to lose her too," David admits. "Emma. She won't talk to me. She doesn't eat, she doesn't sleep."

"She'll come to you when she's ready."

"What if she never does?"

"Emma loves you…"

"But Snow was who she talked to. Emma and I are still getting to know each other. We talk…but Snow was her person. She was her first best friend in years. I'm not going to measure up."

"Hey," Regina pulls away from him. "You don't have to be, Snow. You'll find your grove."

David still doesn't look convinced as he walks back into the kitchen. Regina looks between there and the stairs, shaking her head.

"What are we gonna do about them, Snow?" she asks.

And she's not sure why she gets angry when there's no response.