There he was, sitting. Look at the pages, blank with the exception of the little markings on the bottom right-hand side of the them. Keyboard in front of him, eyes lidded and maybe even closed. Who knows what he's hiding behind those damn glasses of his.

"How come your just starting?"

"I can't imagine."

Confusion? Possible, lack of understanding I think. Is that the same? Is a lack of understanding just confusion? Whatever.

"Imagine what?"

"Insanity. Craziness. Psychopathy. I can't imagine it."

"Insanity is just loss of sense of self, isn't it?"

"I don't mean the definition or people. I mean I can't imagine how it feels. I can't simulate it. At all."

He's being weird again, then again he did always have that hyper-active imagination of his. If you told him to imagine a tapered screw getting ground down until just the head is left, and then melted down only for the now molten liquid to collapse from midair onto the floor, then he would. He could imagine it with lighting and reflections as though it was a realistic illusion cast by that damn Nekomata. If not more.

"You're tellin' me you want to simulate how it feels to be a psycho?"

"No. I want to simulate how I would think if I were insane. If I lost sense of self like you said, how would I think. How would I rationalize? How would I imagine, see, feel. What would my justifications be for something that most people see as common practice?"

"I assume this is for that book you were writing? Why not ask one yourself? Also, the hell are you using a computer for?"

"Yeah it is, but the issue is that I don't know anyone insane, and I can't be bothered to go to some random psyche ward to interview some random dude."

"Lazy bastard, you haven't even released the second chapter yet have you? And you haven't even answered my question."

"Hmphgrrrrrrrr AAAAAAAAA!" A yell, or maybe scream? Of frustration and boredom knowing him.

Ah. He's done it again, it's honestly concerning that I'm getting used to him and those stupid noises of his. Why does he always do them when he's in a pickle though, or bored… shit, what if he's a part-psychopath. Well, it's too late now. He's already in my peerage and a good friend of mine so I can't just nag him about it really.

"The issue here is that I'm trying to write something from the perspective of a psychopath. But I've never really talked to any psychopath outside Freed, and he's kinda down under. Permanently. I'm trying to emulate what they'd feel, how they'd feel and what their reactions and thought process would be you know what I mean?"

"Yeah, I guess."

"Nah you don't, there's no way you understand without me fully explaining but even if you've got it, let me expand a little anyway"

"Hah" I sigh, of course he fucking would. Because why wouldn't he, I can already see that damn smirk of his, he's enjoying putting me through this bullshit as always.

"Let us say that you read a book from a first person perspective. Usually, it's not fully first person and little bits and pieces are described around the character even though the character in question might not actually realize they're there or seen them. Sometimes, first person characters 'monologue', air quotes included, in their head to give the readers and audience some understanding about the thought process of the character. After-all if you are reading about a main character, the best way to hook the audience in is by explaining and justifying his thought-process in a way that the audience would be able to empathize with said character. That's actually how most actors play their characters. They don't just read of a script and try to put emotion into who they're acting as, but they become them. There are some actors who've even needed therapy after the acting because they ended up thinking like said character."

"I've heard of those cases, sure, but what does that even have to do with a psychopath? If the goal is to make the character empathized by the audience then having a psychopath as the character who's thought we constantly read would have a negative effect. No one is going to sympathize or empathize with an insane man whose ramblings make no sense in the first place."

"Ah, and that's where you are wrong, my good sir. The thoughts aren't the only thing that allow the character to be empathized but the emotions they feel too. 'Woe is me, my heart clenches as I remember my parents murder' kind of thing. There is little reasoning to explain the thoughts regarding thew want to kill a group of people when they've killed the characters parents, right? It's perfectly reasonable, especially in our world where everyone seems to be obsessed with revenge, vengeance, power and titties. But this is where a psychopath differs drastically. Like you said, a psychopath has thoughts that would make absolutely no sense to any on-lookers and readers. It's been documented that insane people usually have very turbulent thoughts, constantly changing and nonsensical. For a normal person the description of location would go along the lines of 'I walked towards the convenience store, only to be attacked by some hot-looking babe with black bird-like cosplay wings' whereas for an insane person it could be anywhere along the lines of 'That store has a whore as guard? Haha, OH SHIT, this fuckers' got firecrackers the size of a rusty sea-saw and holy hell is that thing fucking bright', getting stabbed in chest with said fire-cracker while still deciding to go into the store and beat the shit out of the clerk because she told him he couldn't leave the store without paying for his pack of pork cracklings. It makes no sense right?"

I stare at him blankly while trying to catch up to what he just said to me. God I need a hell of a smoke after this one. This is probably one of his worst ramblings to date. Usually they end after maybe a minute or two of him wildly shaking his hands as if they on fire while trying to explain to me what he's imagining or what bullshit he's come up with this time. I'd honestly call him autistic but I've had him tested so… no go me, he's 'normal' apparently.

I feel like I got duped with fake medicinal records. What is this, trying to get out of conscription or something? Am I really that bad? Fuck, whatever.

"You're right in that it doesn't make sense, but it's still eligible isn't it? As much as it lacks sense, you can still get the general feel of it I think."

"Exactly! This is exactly what I mean dude! Like, that's the exact issue I'm having. I'm trying to map out a psychopaths thoughts, but because I'm not a psychopath myself I have a real hard time writing it down in a way that makes absolutely, completely, zero sense while still somehow being comprehensible enough to understand the general gist of it. It needs to be vague as shit, like an idea more than a constant thought. That way I'd have a psychopath and the audience and or readers would be able to imagine their own little world instead."

"It's like trying to get from point A to point B, where a normal person will think of 'just walkin' on the sidewalk' while the psycho will be thinking of 'Ooh Ahh, let me punch this wall randomly' from my perspective. Same idea, path and actions, yet two completely different processes." I assume this is what he means, right? God please, ow fuck, I hope that this is enough to get him shut the fuck up. I've been listening to his bullshit for the past month he hasn't updated his story about every issue he has. Just yesterday he was telling me he already failed two assignments in Uni within the past half a month already… Lazy bastard.

"Yup! This is the exact dilemma I have. How do I put it into words?" It's really ridiculous how I've known him for 10 years almost and yet I still haven't seen what's behind those damned glasses of his. And the fact that he gets so excited and giddy when speaking and rambling yet his eye brows and everything around his eyes don't even twitch. It's like his voice doesn't even match his face!

"Then why don't you just keep writing until you get it? You can just delete the other files after."

"There's no point dude. You know how my imagination works, It'll be way faster if I imagine the scenes and change, revise or edit the scenes in my head rather than on paper. It helps me connect more."

"Yeah, I know. But maybe this is exactly what you need? You never plan out your stories on paper or make a map of what's gonna happen and instead imagine the whole story at once. You need to relax, try something completely different from what you usually do. Who knows, maybe it'll give you an idea or a different perspective."

For some reason he became quiet. Wha- is he actually contemplating my idea? Fuck that's a new one. He always decides within a couple seconds at most but now hes actually taking his time…. He's lost his mind, no way am I going to stay here while hes thinking up some ridiculous concoction of ideas in that hyper-active nuclear reactor -about to explode- think tank of his.

Aight, I'mma head out. Is that how he said it goes? Whatever.

I need a fucking smoke.

Hey guys and gals, real sorry for not uploading but I've been having an issue lately regarding this story. I know what I want to do, I know plot and I know the power of titties that will fuel the most powerful entity in the universe, period. The issue is that the next chapter -meaning this one- was meant to be about Freed as you may or may not have gathered. The dude with the glasses was meant to be an extremely over-exaggerated version of my imagination in a sense while the one whose body we are in is supposed to be the grasp on myself.

I may have failed two assignments in a row, but don't worry, I've got it covered in the plan 'Don't fuck up'. But yeah, the reason why I'm having so much trouble is because I vaguely remember reading a Marvel: Agents of Shield fan-fiction where the main characters whose POV we preside in is insane, and I remember that the author captured the feeling of insanity so well, that it made me feel as though I was on a roller-coaster of metaphorical brain-damage and possibly some genetic faultry (not a real word btw) in the making. I've been trying to recreate it in my head so much that I somehow ended up completely forgetting about one of my deadlines, and after finding out about said missed deadline, my dumb-ass forgot to check if I have anymore only to find out a day before it was meant to be handed in, through email. So now I'm writing this because I have nothing to do, a way of apology, and because I still haven't found my solution.