Barba knocked on Olivia's door at around 7:45 that night. This time there were flowers.
It was Lucy who greeted him. They'd already gotten the pleasantries out of the way, having met briefly earlier at the park after he'd collected Noah from school at his request; she was on duty through supper and into the evening, and they had rendezvoused for the handoff.. They had enjoyed a warm embrace, mutual words of thanks regarding her house sitting while he was gone, and some time to catch up and reconnect. So now, less than 4 hours later, she didn't even bother with a hello. "Why didn't you use your key?"
"I'm, uh, doing a thing here. Or was trying to. Liv about ready?" He'd purposely come after the time Noah should have been getting settled in his room, knowing that if the boy caught sight of him it would drastically cut into the short window they had before Lucy needed to leave.
"Wait." Lucy looked at him, looked at the flowers, then looked at him again. Really looked. "Oh, my God. This is a date. You're going on a date."
"I guess." He flushed, a mixture of embarrassment and happiness.
"So it's official?!"
"Looks like it might be heading that way," he responded carefully, and laughed as she threw her arms around his neck.
"This is amazing! Have you told your mother yet?"
He groaned. "I most certainly have not, and you won't either if you know what's good for you." An idle threat, but it was no matter. He knew Lucy wouldn't out them.
"I'm so happy for you both," she mumbled into his shoulder, adding as she released him, "And if you hurt her I'll be first in line to kill you."
"Yes, and the next three in that line will be armed. I get it."
Olivia appeared beside Lucy. "What are you doing out there? Why didn't you use your key?"
"I just can't win, can I?" He stepped in and offered the flowers. "If you must know, I didn't think letting myself in would be appropriate for a first date."
Olivia immediately grew sentimental and, not bothering to be discrete since obviously Barba wasn't hiding anything, she rewarded him with a kiss on the corner of his mouth for his effort.
Lucy clapped her hands in delight. "You guys are the cutest. This is so awesome." Barba rolled his eyes and snuck a rude gesture at her just out of Liv's eyeline, making Lucy laugh. "I'll put those in water for you so you guys can get going. I'm sorry I can't stay longer. If I had known what was happening I definitely would have cancelled my plans!"
"That wouldn't have been necessary," Olivia assured her. "We appreciate you staying as long as you can. I promise we'll be home by 9:30."
"I have no doubt you will, since I have Lucia's cell number and I'm not afraid to use it."
"You wouldn't," Barba challenged.
Lucy smirked. "Try me."
"Enough, you two," Olivia intervened, pushing him out the door. "At this rate we won't even have time for dinner if we're still planning to walk"
They held hands, and it was a revelation. It should have seemed like such a small gesture in the grand scheme of their ridiculous, rather out-of-order relationship, but for whatever reason it felt like a momentous shift to be out in the world, casually connected in this way for all to see. Barba found himself reflecting he was glad that though they'd shared a bed and so much else in the past they had never done THIS. Olivia found herself wishing that their destination was a little further away so she wouldn't have to let go just yet.
The restaurant, one they'd been meaning to try for awhile, had a welcoming and cozy atmosphere. And there wasn't a lull in the conversation. Interspersed with talk of Olivia's work, her life, of Noah, Barba had a lot of stories to tell after six weeks of keeping much to himself, not having wanted to seem like he'd been having too much fun without her.
But now he had no such qualms, and she seemed determined through her probing questions and engaged expression and the way she kept touching his arm to draw from him every last detail.
It was only when he launched into an unfiltered account of the job offer he received and refused that he noticed the change in her. Imperceptible to the casual observer, certainly, and easily missed even by those inclined to be attuned. But he'd long ago catalogued that tiny twitch of an eye, the curling of her fingers into a loose fist. And he'd also learned that the guilt they reflected was best addressed head-on.
"Olivia Benson, don't you dare."
"How can I not?"
And Barba found himself swallowing down a lump in his throat, not because he felt bad for making HER feel bad, but because she hadn't tried to hide it or laugh it off. Her first instinct was to trust him.
HIS first instinct in response was to reassure her by clearing the table with a sweep of his arm and making love to her right then and there.
For the sake of propriety he went with his second instinct, which was to reassure her with words instead.
"I won't say it had nothing to do with you and Noah, because it's been a long time since that was true about anything that mattered." (He'd collect his points for that sweet sentiment later in the back of the taxi, her hand clutching the collar of his jacket as her tongue explored his mouth.) "But even if wanting to be home with you wasn't a factor, and even if I thought I'd be able to adjust to life outside of New York, the work they were offering wasn't a good fit, not anymore. So while it was a great team and I enjoyed the people and the atmosphere, I wouldn't have been content there in the long term. And I'm getting too old to settle, in any part of my life."
The natural segue to the type of work he DID want to do would have to wait, as they were both cognizant of the time; they would need to leave in the next few minutes to relieve Lucy before the deadline. But Olivia, accepting his words, soothed by them, couldn't help but jest, "Well, I'm glad to hear you aren't just settling for ME."
His response came with an automatic smirk but there was no mistaking his absolute sincerity. "On the contrary, I feel like all my years of refusing to settle are finally paying off."
They hadn't realized it had started to rain, so they ended up hailing a cab. Barba provided the address of Olivia's apartment as well as the required time of arrival before slipping the driver a twenty for his trouble. And so the 6 minute drive became closer to 15, and neither Olivia nor Barba could have recounted where the extra time had taken them.
It would not have been proper for a current NYPD sex crimes detective and a former ADA to have engaged publically in something inappropriate or untoward, and even if it was unlikely they'd ever be recognised neither would have been comfortable with taking any chances. But by the time the cab pulled up in front of her building and the driver discretely cleared his throat, they had learned a lot about one another, about how they kissed and liked to be kissed, about what was too much and what was not quite enough.
Of course, none of it was quite enough. And that was part of the fun. There was something to be said for time spent leisurely becoming acquainted in a way they'd yet to share. And the fact that they'd separately resolved that it would go no further than the cab ride home, not that night, leant itself well to the situation, helped control the pace, the intensity. This wasn't foreplay. It was simply play, something to be enjoyed for itself.
And it was being enjoyed.
"Why don't you send Lucy down and I'll make sure she gets where she's going safely?"
"Mmmm…" She hummed against his lips. "That would be nice of you."
"What can I say? I'm a nice guy."
"Or, you could just - "
"Don't even suggest it, Benson," he warned. "We're still under the 24 hour mark, after all. It wouldn't be proper."
The cab driver snickered, unable to help himself. Barba and Olivia laughed as well.
"Okay, I'd better get out of here before Lucy calls your mother and outs us."
"I promise delaying that is for your own protection. You will be immediately locked into Sunday brunches and wedding planning."
"Or maybe you just like having a dirty little secret."
"There's nothing dirty about this secret."
"Yet."
"OUT!"
One last kiss, and she exited the vehicle. Lucy took her place soon after.
"Why aren't you up there with her?" she chastised. "Noah's asleep."
"Please, what do you take me for? Do you really think I'm the type to put out on the first date?"
She facepalmed, and it was not an exaggeration of her feelings. And though he knew it was because this was only a "first date" in the loosest of ways, he couldn't help but tease her. "I'm sorry, kid. Does talking about old people having sex for the first time offend your millennial sensibilities?"
"Does it make me a creepy millennial perv to say no? Because while I would really appreciate you sparing me the naked naughty details, you two have been my favourite will-they, won't-they obsession for, like, three years, and I'm going to need you to honour my investment by giving me all the NON-naked details I can stand! Starting with the airport yesterday!"
They had lots of time as she was meeting a group of friends at an Escape Room in another borough at 10. It would have made sense for him to be dropped off first, but there was far too much to talk about. Barba wasn't about to admit that he had offered to share a cab for this very reason. His heart was so full that he NEEDED to gush to someone who cared, to release some of the emotional pressure.
As they neared her destination, Lucy said, "So you're really trying to tell me you haven't been secretly in love with Liv all along?"
"Straight men and women CAN just be friends, you know."
"Says the man who is very obviously love-struck right now."
"Point conceded," he said with a self-deprecating shake of his head. "But the reality is that up until my resignation we were both very aware of the potential for conflict of interest, and I think it was just easier not to let our minds even go there."
"Well, for what it's worth, I'm extremely glad you're letting your minds go there now."
She reached for her wallet by Barba gestured for her to put it away. "This one's on me."
"Buttering me up for all the overnight babysitting you're going to be asking me to do when the two of you finally get down to it?"
"I thought you didn't want the 'naked naughty details'."
"Does it bother you that every time I DO stay overnight I'm going to know exactly what the two of you are doing?" she joked. And then she paused, her face changing. "Oh, God. My millennial sensibilities just kicked in."
The laughter of both Barba and the driver followed her from the cab.
After giving his address to the driver, Barba sat back and sighed contentedly. "Ever been in love, my friend?" he enquired congenially.
"Yes sir." The driver plucked a photograph from his visor and passed it to the back seat. "Married 19 years this month." A smiling woman and two teenage boys.
"Lovely family. Congratulations."
"To you as well. I wish you and your lady friend many happy years together."
And after only just barely 24 hours of being officially something more than friends with Olivia Benson, Barba was already committed to seeing that wish come true.