The holidays always brought out the gossipers in the office.

Rumors were rife, who was bringing who to the holiday party, who had split up, office romance and so much more it was hard to keep track of what was the truth and what was general gossip-mongering.

When Wei Wuxian arrived to work a week before the legendary office party where anything goes, he had a plan.

Though he had been working at this company for well over five years, his husband was always busy during this season to accompany him to the parties before.

According to the gossip mongers in the office, he had made him up as a way to avoid the come-ons from colleagues and clients because the qualities of this mystery husband were just too unreal.

He was going to play his greatest prank yet.

When the subject inevitably arose again during lunch with his colleagues, he was prepared.

"So, is your partner coming with you to the party?" asked our office manager, Su She to our new assistant, whose name I had already forgotten due to my legendary bad memory.

"Yes, he was very excited. His company doesn't close for the holidays so this night will be like a mini-vacation for him" The small smile on her face was fond,

"How about you senior Wei, are you bringing anyone?" she continued,

Before I could reply, Su She was quick to cut in.

"Oh, you're new so you wouldn't know the legend of Wei Wuxian's husband who nobody has ever seen" his smug little smile tempted me to follow my darker urges but I resisted.

Instead, I gave my normal loud and annoying laugh.

"You're right Su She. This year, there will be no husband for me. I'll be following the time-honored tradition of bringing an escort"

"Yes, but who will be escorting you? Are they a friend" ah, how innocent our assistant was, the world would surely swallow her whole.

"I believe you misunderstood me. I will be hiring one from this delightful service I found online" I watched the horrified expressions dawn on both their faces whilst cackling internally.

"Wei Wuxian, have you no shame?" Su She's voice was practically a screech with how loud it was. He didn't wait for a reply before leaving the table in a huff.

The assistant smiled nervously at me, probably confused whether to believe me or take my statement as a joke.

I wasn't worried about whether she believed me, I knew by the end of the day, the rumor mill would be churning the story out.

Now to convince Lan Zhan to go along with my plan, now that would be the hard part but I have told in my arsenal and if all else failed, mine and A-Yuan's puppy eyes were certified lethal enough to get Lan Zhan to do whatever I wanted.

The day of the party arrived with little fanfare.

Before going home to change for the event, I could feel my co-workers trying to subtly watch me, some with disbelief and some with plain old judgment.

The rumor had spread far and wide. I kept smirking the whole day to make them more uncomfortable.

Arriving at the party fashionably late, if I do say so myself, I let myself show the smugness I had been feeling all day at the literal jaws dropping as they took in the person on my arm.

Any doubters that thought I was playing a prank at my escort comments were promptly silenced because how could someone as beautiful as Lan Zhan exist in the world of normal mortals?

I walked towards the bar with Lan Zhan on my arm where a group of my co-workers were standing.

"Hi guys, this is my escort for the evening, Lan Zhan. Lan Zhan, say hello"

"Hello" repeated Lan Zhan over the sound of Su She's chocking on his drink

"You don't swallow, Su She?" I teased, letting the sentence hang in the air while the others laughed nervously.

"Ha, ha... you just caught me by surprise Wei Wuxian" Su She's smile looked more like a grimace.

"I was expecting to finally meet your husband. By the way, didn't you mention that his name was also Lan Zhan?" one who didn't have experience with Su She's treachery might have mistaken the question for the genuine curiosity it was portrayed as.

Lan Zhan surprised me by answering in my stead,

"He paid extra for me to play the role of his imaginary husband" his voice was pleasant enough, only I could hear the bite in his voice and feel the tension in his body from the way he was gripping my hand.

It wasn't often that Lan Zhan quickly took a dislike to someone as he seemed to with Su She.

I quickly excused us from the bar after grabbing a flute of champagne. I wanted this to be fun for Lan Zhan too.

Once I found us an unoccupied corner to pull Lan Zhan into, I asked him, concerned
"What's wrong?"

"Have I been such a bad husband that people truly doubt my existence?" he asked me, a moue of displeasure on his lips.

"Of course not, you are the best husband one could ask for" I was quick to reassure.

The expression on his face did not change.

"Lan Zhan, ah Lan Zhan, what am I going to do with you huh?" I joked, trying to lighten the mood. "This was supposed to be a fun prank. Not for you to feel bad. Honestly, I hate coming to these things and you being here makes it more tolerable but A-Yuan needs you more than I do. You are such a good father too. How did I get so lucky to have a wonderful husband and son?"

"You honestly do not mind?" his red ear tips at the compliment would never fail to charm me.

"Hmm" I hummed, taking a page from his book. "Now come here and kiss your husband, I 'apparently' paid good money for tonight, possibly my life savings for your time"

The forcefulness of the kiss bestowed upon me made me think it was time we revisited our role-playing games soon.

Some time later, after being found in the coat closet half-dressed with my 'escort', I was kindly asked to stop attending office parties so that I may enjoy myself better somewhere else that wasn't on the expensive coat of some important company bigwigs.

I also had the pleasure of seeing my colleague's faces fall in shock when my husband came to pick me up for our anniversary dinner from the office.

It was even more satisfying seeing the puce color on Su She's face.

Fun times indeed.