I do not own Twilight
Charlie
My head was spinning. So many unanswered questions. The more I tried to find answers, the more questions that were added to the pot.
Why did she jump?
That was the big one. The one that would help answer all the others. I was frustrated, angry, confused. My life was mostly predictable before Bella moved back. Work, sleep, eat, fishing, repeat. Living in a small town made routine changes rare.
Her moving back was the best thing that happened to me in a long time, I wouldn't change it for anything. Life was so much easier before though. Teenage girls. A phenomenon which I would never understand.
I knew that her relationship with Edward had been serious. I knew she was madly in love with him and I had thought that he felt the same way. His actions when she was in the hospital showed he cared deeply for her. How could he have left with no forward contact. Alright, it wasn't his fault his family had to move away, but to give her no forwarding address, no phone number, no nothing, that was a low blow.
My hatred for Edward only grew. Placing the blame on him was easier. It would get me though the next few hours.
"We all blame ourselves Charlie. None of us knew this would happen." Jacobs voice broke through my brooding.
"Maybe, but I am her Father, I should have seen something."
Jacob opened his mouth to speak but after a small head shake from Billy he backed off.
It felt like I had been waiting here forever. Eternity was dragging. Were the staff enjoying my torment? Were they keeping something important from me? Why wouldn't they let me see her. It wasn't until Billy spoke that I realised I had asked these questions aloud.
"We can see her soon Charlie. You really need to calm down. They won't let you in to see her when you are this angry." I understood what he was saying but also knew that I would be unable to calm until I saw her safe and well. "I won't bother asking you to leave for a while, I know you won't, but you need to stop beating yourself up over this. We don't know enough answers yet. Don't try to figure this out without all the facts."
Again, I understood the logic, but my brain wouldn't cooperate. "I need to see her. I need to know she is okay." My words trailed off as I put my head in my hands.
I had been so close to loosing her. Her unrelenting attraction to danger had nearly taken her away from me yet again.
Maybe I should track him down. Tell him what his actions had caused. Make him feel the pain she had felt for the last few months. If it turned out to be a big misunderstanding, he wouldn't need to know that.
As soon as the thought went through my head, I knew I wouldn't be able to do it. He was just a kid. A kid who had moved on and left my daughter behind. I still hated him, but I couldn't hold him responsible for her actions.
My thoughts were broken when a doctor I recognised stepped in front of me. "Chief Swan?"
"Please, just Charlie. I'm not on duty." I explained.
"Charlie. Bella is back from her scan and you can see her in just a moment." He took a deep breath. "She has some serious damage to her left Femur and Pelvis. They have been stabilised, but she will need surgery today to plate them. There is extensive bruising and lacerations that will resolve themselves shortly. We are most concerned about her head at the moment. She seems to have hit the rocks fairly hard. Her CT scan showed some minor swelling which we hope will resolve itself in the next 2 hours. If not, we will need to prioritise that surgery."
His world was collapsing. His baby girl was more hurt than he had thought. He had worked as a cop for long enough to recognise the implications of those injuries, and he wished he could save her from that pain. "Can I see her, please?"
He nodded, "Of course, follow me. Only two allowed though and only very briefly. I will warn you; she looks fairly rough. You need to prepare yourself for that."
Charlie nodded towards Jacob and the two started following the doctor. They walked down many twists and turns not paying attention to how to get back. Although he knew the seriousness of the injuries, he was still shocked when they turned into the ICU wing.
"Just through there, she has a nurse with her who can help explain anything you need." He said opening a door slightly.
I took a very deep breath and let it out with a shudder. I felt Jacob place his hand on my back as I pushed the door open.
Taking a step inside, I saw my baby girl.
She was laying there deathly pale, wires and tubes all over.
"You can come over and say hi. She has been given some very strong drugs to keep her asleep, but she might be able to hear you." The nurse said walking over. She moved two chairs over next to the bed and gestured to sit down. "You have two very good-looking young men here to see you dear."
"Too right Bells." Jacob said lacking his usual humour but obviously trying to lighten the mood. "I've got Charlie with me. You keep on fighting, you hear me. No giving up, else we'll be having words."
Jacob elbowed me in the ribs. "H.. Hey Bella." I stammered uselessly.
"He's just dazzled by my beauty, isn't that right Charlie?" I appreciated his attempt and tried to work with him.
"Umm, ye I suppose." I took another deep breath. "We love you Bella. You need to come home to me." I said.
The nurse had handed me a tissue box. When had I started crying? "Thank you." I muttered.
"Your boys are okay dear, it's just a bit of a shock for them." She explained. "You can take her hand if you like, you won't hurt her. I am sure she would recognise your touch."
I blanked. I wanted to take her hand but also knew it would be unlikely that she recognised it. We were always close but I wasn't good at expressing my affection through touch or words.
Shaking, I gently placed my hand around hers. She was warm. Or was I cold?
The tears continued to fall.
"I love you Bella, more than you can ever know."
I don't know how long we had stayed there before the nurse said it was time to leave. I didn't want to leave my baby. I wanted to make sure she was safe. I needed her to know I was there and that I loved her.
We reluctantly left. We hadn't even made it down the hallway before I broke down. Jacob supporting me to the family room then leaving to fetch Billy.
It had been a week since that fateful day, and I was sitting in the Doctors office waiting for an update.
First the swelling hadn't gone down, and a bleed was found. They were fixed in surgery that day and we hoped that there had been no permanent damage. The day after they fixed her bones.
I was never more pleased that she was living with me as when the finance department got involved. She would be covered under the police force insurance as she was registered under my care. They would handle all the fees needed. My shifts at work had also been covered.
Each day was the same. Get up early. Rush to the hospital. Spend the day with Bella while the nurses tried to drag me away. Go for food while Jacob visited. Come back to sit by her bed. Leave for the night after reminding her how much I love her. Go home, sign off on a stack of paperwork for the station. Crawl into bed and pretend to sleep until morning.
It was on the fourth day that she had started fitting. It felt like forever but was actually less than a minute. Once she was stable, I called Jacob, knowing he would want to know. I was unsurprised when he turned up less than an hour later.
The seizures had continued, and I was concerned about what the doctor would be telling me. When he had called me asking me to come to his office before seeing Bella I didn't know if I should be thankful or cry.
So here I was. Waiting.
Not long later the door opened. "Thank you for coming." He shook my hand and made his way behind the desk to sit down. "I have mixed news for you."
I looked at him, urging him to go on.
"She started breathing for herself in the night so we were able to take her off the ventilator. We hope to bring her round slowly over the next 24 hours."
My relief was over whelming. My little girl was going to be okay. She was breathing. I didn't even care that I was crying yet again. "Thank you, Doctor. Thank you for saving her."
He smiled at me. I didn't like that smile. "We have some of her test results back. We think there has been some permanent damage to the brain. Until she is awake, we can't determine the extent. It also seems unlikely that the seizures will stop."
The world crashed again. "But she is going to be okay right."
"We are doing our best. Once she is alert, we can assess the damage and talk again." His reassurance didn't rebuild the relief I had previously felt. "We are going to start reducing the sedation in around an hour. You are welcome to go and see her now and stay for the rest of the day. I am sure she will want a friendly face. Maybe call that young lad in too."
I nodded and stood to leave. Her room wasn't far away but I headed outside to make a call first.
"Hey, Billy."
"Hi Charlie. Is everything okay?"
"We don't know yet. She is breathing on her own and they are lifting the sedation today but there might have been some.. some.." I trailed off unable to say it.
"We will be there soon Charlie. Meet you up there. We'll bring some food." He said hanging up the phone.
I looked at the screen as the dial tone rang. Taking a deep breath I walked back into the building.
"Hey Bella, how you doing?" I asked as I walked in. "I hear you're breathing on your own. I'm so proud of you." I sat down and started to ramble about nothing in particular.
Jacob walked in a while later and joined my ramblings. He kept her up to date about the reservation gossip. While I wasn't very interested, I was glad that he was able to fill the silence.
"Leah is still giving Emily and Sam the cold shoulder. I understand the history and how difficult her situation is, but its hard to watch. We need you to come make them all smile again." Jacob was saying as the Doctor walked in. "Hey Doc. Bells, the doc just came in."
"I am just going to give her the once over before we start lifting the sedation."
It didn't take long. The nurses had been doing the observations religiously, so it was easy to check the charts to find out all the information he needed.
"All is good here. She should start to wake in an hour or two. The nurses will be around if you need anything." He said signing some paperwork and then leaving the room.
We kept out of the way while the nurse bustled around.
"Will she be in any pain?" I asked. I was worried that when she woke up the pain might hit her causing her to give up.
"No, she is still on strong pain killers. She won't feel anything. Might make her a bit loopy though." She smiled over at me before returning to the tubes. "We just need to wait and see what happens with her. We are hopeful that everything will go smoothly. Now Jacob, what were you telling us about this young lady? What happened?"
I was thankful that she was restarting the conversation with Jacob. I didn't feel able to interact right now. Worry was overwhelming me.
Time passed slowly. I was unable to focus on what anyone was saying. Although I didn't believe in a God, I sat praying. When I felt her hand shift slightly in mine, I exclaimed, "Do that again Bella." I looked to the nurse. "She moved her hand, I felt it. That's a good sign? She is going to be okay."
"Keep talking to her, she will come round soon. I'll page her doctor to come check on her." She said returning to the paperwork.
"Bella, its me. It's Charlie. I'm here waiting for you. Jacob is here too. We love you sweetheart." Her fingers curled around my hand and her eyelids started to lift. "That's it Bella. Take your time. We are right here. Everything is going to be okay."
She finally blinked her eyes open, unsure and clearly scared.
I couldn't hold back the tears. She was awake. She was going to be okay.
"Hey Bella, its Jake. I've got your oaf of a Father here. You're in the hospital, but don't worry about that right now." I heard him explain to her before the nurse cut in.
"Bella, I am one of the nurses who has been looking after you. You have two fantastic guys in your life. I need you to rest for me. Try not to think too much, focus on breathing. The doctor will be with you shortly." She patted Charlie on the back. "Talk to her, hearing a familiar voice will help. Try whatever you did when she was younger and unable to sleep."
"I think that would put even the machines to sleep. I'd sit and tell her the different types of fish you can catch, where you catch them, how to recognise each one. That sort of thing."
Jacob was laughing at me. "You are so much like my dad. He did exactly the same thing."
The following days were tough. We found that the seizures didn't stop. She had lost some sight in one eye. Her cognition was slower than before, and her speech often slurred.
All in all, we were very thankful.
Her leg hadn't healed enough to determine how much of that damage would be permanent, but we were hopeful. The rest of her body appeared to be responding correctly.
She was currently with a psychiatrist, the doctors finally deeming her well enough to ask about the cause of the incident. I was in the café getting some more coffee. The nurses were concerned about my caffeine intake, but also knew from experience that nothing would drag me away from my daughter.
I was desperate for her to say it had all been a misunderstanding. She had enough suffering without those struggles too.
Finishing my coffee, I made my way back to her room. I knocked and waited to be invited in. Bella had clearly been crying, but that wasn't uncommon. She was frustrated that she wasn't able to think and talk like she did before. It often came out as anger before breaking down in tears.
I turned to the psychiatrist, "Is everything okay?"
She smiled at me, "Yes, we have discussed a few things and I now understand what happened. Would you like me to discuss this with your father here or back at my office?" She asked Bella.
"Heere," She slurred looking up at me briefly before returning her eyes to the piece of thread she was playing with.
"Alright. I have been reassured that Bella was recreationally cliff diving. She explained that her friend had agreed to go with her but cancelled. Bella decided to continue on her own without considering the risks involved. I have been told that she was not aiming to take her own life but didn't care enough about the outcome to think it through."
I collapsed into the chair. Utter relief. This was all some big misunderstanding. "Thank you so much." I exclaimed.
"I would like her to continue to talk to someone about some issues she has had over the last few months, but I am confident that will be enough." She stood and grabbed her bag. "Thank you for your time Bella, Charlie. I will be on my way now. Here is my card if you have any questions." She handed me a white business card.
After she left, I turned back to Bella. "I love you. You need to understand how much I love you." I said reaching over to hug her. "We will be having serious words about this when everything has settled. For now just focus on getting better."
Bella was in hospital for another 2 months before she was deemed well enough to leave. In that time, she had extensive therapy to help her mind, speech and body return to normal. My home had been adapted so that she would be able so access it without a problem, I had been taught how to handle her seizures and I was excited to get her home.