I do not own Twilight
Jasper
It was the start of another year. More inaccurate teaching, useless assignments, and emotional young people. College was better than high school but was still boring.
I was sat with Alice in the Porsche. She loved this car so much before we left. Edward had gifted it to her, knowing she would only be able to enjoy it from the garage. Now we were in New York she could play with it as much as she wanted. She just didn't. The spark from the entire family had gone. First, we had lost Bella and then Edward.
So here we were. Sat in the car park stalling. I had spent the last few months working with Carlisle on my blood lust. Both learning to handle the bloodlust from others and my own. It had seemed that differentiating the feelings and then distancing myself from any that aren't my own worked well.
I was proud of my achievement. The humans no longer posed a threat to my family and myself. Now the temptation was minimal, I hoped to enjoy the relaxed college experience with Alice. We could try all those things she had always wanted to before. Clubbing, nights out, fashion shows. I could finally accompany her. If she still wanted to go.
"Let's go Alice." I said opening the car door. She continued to stare out of the front window, oblivious to the world. That look used to belong solely to her visions, now it was a permanent fixture. I caressed her cheek softly. "I'll walk you to class." I exited the car and moved to open her door. My wife was broken, I longed to see her smile again. She climbed out soon after but didn't dance the way she used to.
The entire family's image had changed. The biggest difference was with Alice, she was like a different person. I could see the purple smudges under her eyes from lack of hunting. She didn't find the thrill in it anymore; it was simply a necessity. She stood hunched with her head down.
I used my finger to raise her chin and look into her eyes. She fought me, determined to inspect the dirt on the floor. Resigning myself, I offered my hand instead.
Her clothes were simpler. The big brands were still prominent, I doubted anything could get her to wear non designer clothing, but they didn't stand out like they used to. Dark colours, baggy items. She was lost. I had no care for fancy clothes, she was the most beautiful thing in my life. I knew it meant her spirit was damaged, that upset me.
She took my hand but said nothing. Next to us, Emmett and Rosalie were climbing out of her M3. He also looked like someone had stollen his puppy. We hadn't been pranked since Forks. I thought we would have missed it, but just as with Alice and her clothes, it didn't feel right. He spent his free time staring blankly at the TV. Often, he forgot to turn it on. I couldn't even get him to wrestle anymore.
His mood was angering Rosalie. My sister would never change, she was a jealous and resentful of this life. She didn't understand the family's obsession with the human. Humans having knowledge of our existence was a danger. We had risked more than Bella could know by having left her alive and alone.
We both regretted the decision to leave because of how it had affected those she cares about, but I could tell she was jealous that Bella got her chance at a human life. A chance we would never get.
Making our way across the parking lot, Alice and I left the other couple inside the building without so much as a goodbye. The lack of communication was another recent development. Everyone was caught up in their musings and grief.
Walking together, I escorted Alice to her lesson. She didn't take much notice of everything around her. I kissed the back of her hand and giving one of the classic smirks she used to love. Not even a smile. "I'll see you at the car at the end of the day" I left her.
She was the only one acting as a freshman. It was too obvious if 5 siblings started in the same year group. We followed the standard routine of her and Edward enrolling younger. It was too late to change the information when he had left her alone. So, we had to deal with the fall out. She was more than capable of handling herself, no one could harm her, but I worried about her being alone.
My first lesson dragged. Most of the class were half asleep by the end of it. The first session of every class was always a summary of what we would be doing over the coming year and introducing themselves. If we were lucky, we would be given an activity to join in with. Even he was bored of what he was saying.
I used my time to practice sorting through and filing emotions. Letting myself feel them, then separating myself. It was an art I was becoming better at.
The boy sitting next to me was feeling a mixture of anticipation, boredom and lust. I could only imagine that was due to the young lady in front of him. I hadn't missed the frequent turns, to make eye contact and quietly giggle.
The emotions rolled over me like a wave. Following the path of the waves, I was able to redirect them away from me. Sometimes I was able to put them in a bubble or pool, other times I simply avoided their path.
I resisted the urge to manipulate the teacher's emotions. Whilst I couldn't directly change the lesson content, if he were a bit happier, he might teach better.
Second and third lessons were similar. By the fourth I was fed up with my self-invented game.
What a year it has been. I mused to myself. Edward had been heartbroken when he came home saying Bella wanted nothing more to do with us. It was understandable, I had nearly killed her. She was right to demand her own life. It still hurt. She had always accepted us for who we were and was quick to forgive. Her discussion with Carlisle had demonstrated that. I had wanted to call her and apologise. I was a selfish man wanting forgiveness.
Esme and Carlisle were devastated. They had lost their newest daughter. A young girl in need of a caring mother that she was able to dote on. Alice and Emmett were grieved. They wanted to say goodbye, argued for hours, but Edward has insisted that she wanted a clean break. I knew he was lying, you can't lie to an empath, but he must have had his reasons, so I kept my opinion to myself. It was true that she would be so much safer away from us. Rosalie had the good sense to stay quiet.
It wasn't long after we moved that Edward left his. He gave us a story about chasing Victoria. His skills as a tracker were abysmal. He would be away a long time. To start with he kept in touch every month or so, but that faded to nothing. I couldn't blame him for leaving. The minds of the family must be difficult. The constant reminder of what he lost. I was angered by his lack of contact though. He must have known how it would affect everyone, especially Esme. She had phoned him every week until his phone was disconnected. We didn't know if he had lost it, if it had died with no way to charge it or if he had smashed it. Either way, we don't know where he is and have no way to contact him.
Alice tries to track him in her visions, but it isn't possible. Without making decisions, there is nothing for her to see. I longed to find him and kick his sorry arse back home. Force him to apologise, to fix it.
Soon after we lost contact Alice broke the news about her lack of visions on Bella. We had researched, contacted friends and discussed so many possibilities as to why she would be missing, but we came up empty.
The family were broken all over again. I could feel their sorrow. I didn't know if they could handle any more heartbreak.
It was difficult seeing her like this. I loved her in a way I couldn't explain. Every instinct in me was saying that I should be guarding her until she is well. She was my life. I longed to help her heal in the way she healed me from my years with Maria. I shook myself; this was not the place to be thinking of her.
I stared at the desk, only partially listening to the same introduction speech the other three tutors had given.
What a waste of time this is. I didn't realise quite how boring these lessons were when you aren't battling bloodlust. I still didn't understand Carlisle's surprise when I asked him for help. He had helped me though, and I was very grateful.
He had stollen blood from the blood bank at the hospital. We worked for weeks gradually increasing my exposure until I was able to remain calm whilst in very close proximity. I knew that this had benefited the other too, but they didn't take the same interest I had. I'd even gone with Carlisle to the hospital to help out a few time. The ER had been too much of a challenge at first, but other parts were easier. I hope I can go out again with him soon. Maybe I can get a job in our next place instead of repeating school.
I wonder if there is anything, I can actually do with this philosophy degree. Would be nice to use something I earned instead of faked.
My head shot up. I got a sudden burst of strawberries and freesias. The beautiful smooth scent and sweet, sweet blood. It reminded me so much of Bella. My beautiful sister lost to us now. I could still remember her deep chocolate eyes and heart shaped face. Her pure and loving emotions whenever she was with the family.
I must be crazy. I was clearly thinking so hard I imagined her scent. It couldn't be her. Could it?
The scent disappeared. It must have been my imagination. The lesson drew to a close not long later. Even the teacher seemed thankful the lesson was over. After assigning the reading, he dismissed us.
My books were packed in the bag Alice had given me last week. Another designer label with a massive price tag to match. I was a simple guy, happy with jeans and boots, but she always insisted. I had hoped asking her to take me shopping would make her happy. She had taken me, but it didn't have the desired effect.
Making my way out of the classroom, I froze. Through the window I saw a girl. A young woman I didn't think I would ever see again.
It was Bella.
Someone shoved me from behind, and it was then that I realised I had been blocking the exit for the others. Hastily I made mover out of the way towards the window.
She was facing away from me, talking to someone I didn't recognise. I was certain it was her though. I could see the many changes in Bella. Vampire eyesight and memory doesn't allow for much to be missed. Her weight was lower than before, she had filled out in the way she should have done, but not enough to hide the obvious lack of nutrition. She walked stiffly with a cane, where that had come from I could only guess. She had cut her hair fairly short; it made her look older.
I longed to approach her. Apologise. Embrace her. Anything. I wanted my eyes to be mistaking me. I wanted to know she was okay.
I knew I was staring at her and was going to be late, but I couldn't bring myself to care. She was here.
Obviously sensing someone watching, she looked up and around the quad. I moved quickly around a corner out of sight.
It was Bella. I thought to myself. What do I do now? Has anyone else seen her? We need to discuss this together before we approach. She didn't want us anywhere near her, this may mean moving again. Thoughts and possibilities rolled through my mind. Did she see me?
I couldn't stay standing here, someone was likely to notice me standing as still as a statue. We couldn't draw that sort of attention to ourselves. I made my way slowly over to the coffee shop I'd agreed to meet Rose at on our break. We wouldn't go inside, but it was a break from the busy campus.
My mind was spinning with information, possibilities, questions.
I saw Rosalie from a distance away. She had obvious been waiting a while from her frustrated emotions. I approached, desperately trying to concentrate through the chaos.
"Have you seen her?" I asked abruptly as I reached her.
She could obviously sense my mood but knew from her surprise she didn't know what I was talking about. "Seen who Jasper?" She asked frustratedly. It took me too long to reply, so she snapped again, "Who am I meant to have seen?"
I looked at her. "Bella is here." I said simply.
Shock. Relief. Confusion. Fear. The same emotions I had felt myself I now felt coming from her.
"Does anyone else know?" She asked me. I couldn't find the words to reply, so simply shrugged. "This is a bit of a curve we weren't expecting. I do not want to move again. We were here first, if she is unhappy about us being close, she is welcome to go somewhere else." She stated bluntly. My thoughts were too chaotic to deal with her hatred right now. I didn't want to fight or argue.
"You know Alice and Emmett won't go along with that. They will be all over her when they know she is alive." I reminded her, hoping she would notice the resignation in my voice. This situation was starting to give me a headache. Yes me, the vampire, a headache. "Shall we call them home early?"
"Not worth it. We may as well just wait until the end of the day and tell the family together. Hopefully they won't bump into her." She thought for a moment. Her emotions were slightly embarrassed, and I wondered what she would say next. "How did she look?"
Well that threw me. The stone hearted ice queen did care. I gave her a knowing smirk. She just looked at me sheepishly. Becoming serious, I straightened my face, "Not good Rose. She didn't look good at all."
Thank you for reading, please review. Now the story is established, I will be moving to weekly updates. Roughly 30-40 chapters planned.