Chapter 8: Wrench

"I feel like a little kid," Sydney grumbled as she sat on the small cot in the doctor's office swinging her feet.

"I feel like an old grandmother." Laura sat across from her daughter with her legs legs crossed, an outdated magazine in her hands.

"How long does this take!" Fumbling with the strings on the cloth gown she wore she fought down another wave of queasiness as her mother laughed.

"You've already done this twice, sweetheart, it's not like you don't know what to expect."

Sydney laughed, though her smile didn't reach her eyes, and she twisted her fingers together. "It's not that, it…it's everything else around it. I mean – is it a bad thing that I'm just terrified?"

"Of course not!"

"Is it also a bad thing that I'm excited? I mean…despite the things that happened; I love my boys. And I know I'll love this baby just as much. But," she paused as her brain tried desperately to find the right words, "on top of all of this divorce stuff, therapy that dad's signing me up for, being homeless and jobless - it isn't a great time to have a baby."

"Your father is signing you up for therapy?" Laura's eyes left the magazine for the last time, closing and tossing it aside.

"Yeah, I thought you knew. It's with one of his colleagues."

The look on her mother's face suggested that this was news to her, and Sydney sensed a fight between her parents in the future. The conversation ceased however when the elderly doctor knocked twice and re-entered the room, his eyes focused on the clipboard in front of him. Squinting and bringing it within a couple of inches of his nose he gingerly sat in the chair across from his patient.

To Sydney he'd seemed unchanged since the last time she saw him – administering a tetanus shot when she'd stepped on a nail during a cross country meet during her senior year of high school. The air in the room grew thick as he lifted his glasses off of his nose and pushed the clipboard away in an attempt to read the words. "Damn glasses," he groused, deciding it was working better with them on as he readjusted them and brought the papers within inches of his nose once more. "Well…it looks like you're expecting!"

Laura sent her daughter a sympathetic smile as Sydney composed a fake one of her own to counter the ball of lead that had crushed her stomach into her guts – the small flutter of excitement in her heart by far the tiniest of the emotions she was feeling at the moment.

"Let's see…what day is it?"

Laura shrugged as Sydney tried to think back, "April 18th, I think."

"You should probably have the little bundle around mid October, from what I can reckon."

"Thanks, Dr. Herberger."

"Anything else, sugar pea?"

Sydney had to laugh at his pet name for his children patients, tears filling her eyes as she shook her head, the oblivious old man leaving the room so she could get dressed in private.

"Well…I suppose it's not a bad thing that all my clothes didn't come with me – they wouldn't fit in two months anyway."

She dressed slowly, Laura handing her each article of clothing as she heaved a sigh and faced her mother with unsure brown eyes. "Everything's going to be okay, right?"

Flashing her biggest and most reassuring smile she cupped Sydney's cheeks and pushed a kiss to her forehead, tears filling her own eyes and contradicting her assured front. "You'll be fine, sweetheart."

They left the office and jumped in the car, Laura seeing Sydney zone out as she stared at the scenery. She didn't even notice when they passed the road that would take them back home, instead taking the main road into town. When the car stopped moving she seemed to snap out of it, slightly embarrassed that she didn't realize they weren't going home. Her eyes peeked up at the shop they'd parked in front of: "Little Bo Peeps" in big letters on the front window.

"Mom…"

"We're going shopping. Because despite it all, you're my daughter and you're having a baby - my grandbaby. We're going shopping, and that's final."

She could help but give a true smile, one of the first in the last few days, as tears fell to her dimpled cheeks. "Really?"

"Like you said – you'll love this baby despite its father. And I start early when spoiling my grandchildren."

An hour later Sydney stood in the newborn section, a small smile curling her lips up as she fingered a pair of tiny shoes. Her mother finally found her, the cart in front laden with all sorts of baby items, as well as a few things her daughter would need.

Sydney rolled her eyes and dropped her hands to her side, "mom, really? You've got another seven months to wait and you're already decorating a room and buying clothes that would fit a two-year old?"

Laura merely ignored her daughter, "what have you found?"

"I was just wondering what is it going to be. Boy or girl?"

"What do you want it to be?"

"I love my boys but I don't know if I could handle a third one." Her mother laughed at her comment, nodding in agreement about her grandsons.

"I wouldn't mind seeing a little princess sit on your father's lap like when you were a baby."

Nodding in agreement Laura pulled several pink onesies and tossed them in the cart. "But we don't know what it's going to be,"

"So what!" Interrupting Sydney with a flip of her hand she focused her eyes on the young woman in front of her. "Honey…get excited!"

"I am…I…I really am."

"Good! Then go crazy! I have your father's credit card."

They laughed as they continued to shop, Laura knowing that Jack would throw a fit at their shopping spree until she'd distract him with an infant's outfit. Much like hers, his heart melts at the thought of their grandchildren, and this addition to the family wouldn't be any different.

The evening was spent in the sitting room. The crackle of the fire a pleasant noise as Laura sat with a book, her legs tucked under her body and her glasses low on her nose. Sydney sat with her eyes closed and hand rubbing the warm back of little Noah as he lay draped over her chest, his thumb tucked firmly between his lips and his nose pushed against her throat. With her feet propped up on a stool he fit perfectly against her body, his little sigh making her smile.

"You should put him to bed honey,"

"I know but he's so cuddly. Pretty soon he won't want anything to do with cuddles and be chasing after girls."

Laura laughed, pulling away from her book to fix a wry look on her daughter. "He's two, Sydney. The only girls he likes are you and me."

Sighing and standing, his little mumble the only noise, Sydney carried him up to the boy's bedroom and found Jake sitting underneath the covers, light silhouetting his figure from inside. When he heard the door the light quickly shut off, but she'd seen him already.

"Who's in my little boy's bed?"

Pulling the covers back she spotted him sitting with a flashlight and a glow in the dark book, something no doubt that her mother had picked up today. "I was just reading, momma."

"Really? Aren't you supposed to be sleeping? Didn't papa tuck you in?"

At his little grin she knew the five-year old had faked Jack out, waiting until his grandfather had left the room before beginning his little under-the-covers reading session. "I maybe tricked him."

"Maybe?" Laughing as she finished getting Noah's pajamas on and tucking him in, she moved to sit by her eldest. "It's okay with me honey, it's not a school night."

"Am I going to school where you did?"

Sydney shrugged, not actually knowing where they would be if she decided to start him back up at a public school. "I dunno, honey. For now you're going to have me as your teacher."

He nodded, holding his book up as she kissed his forehead and flipped on his flashlight. "Try not to shine it on your brother, okay? I'll check in before I go to bed."

Jake scurried back underneath his blanket, the flashlight coming on for a moment before turning off, Sydney closing the bedroom door and making her way back downstairs.

She heard the arguing before entering the room, wondering if she should go back up to give her parents privacy for their little quarrel.

"You can't just force her into therapy, Jack, you know that! I don't think she's ready for it."

"Laura, I didn't inform you of my decision because I felt you would react poorly. She needs it – whether or not you think she's ready for it."

"Poorly…of course I reacted poorly! Here I was sitting with my daughter when she drops the 'therapy bomb' onto my lap."

"She agreed to it…isn't that enough? She wants to get better – and I know that you want her to move on just like I do. The therapy will help with that more than we know."

Silence reigned, her mother heaving a sigh as Sydney knocked on the wall before entering. "Hey…I – if I could just say something, and don't take it wrong mom – but dad's right. The sooner I get over this, the better. Besides, it's a group therapy thing and it's only eight weeks."

"Thank you, Sydney."

"You should have told mom what you were up to though, dad. You shouldn't have just left it to me to surprise her with it." Casting a scolding look at her father, he blushed a bit before looking over at his wife.

"Forgiveness?"

"Granted," she mumbled, still miffed at him slightly for keeping her out of the loop, but she leaned forward and kissed his cheek anyway. "We have a surprise for you."

Sydney was worried about how her father would react to the news, but once he saw the credit card bill he'd need to be told regardless, so she waited patiently while her mother walked from the room, Jack setting aside his glass of brandy and his book.

"What is it?"

"If I told you-"

"-it wouldn't be a surprise," they finished simultaneously, Sydney laughing and Jack rolling his eyes, Laura reentering with a small wrapped package in her hands.

"What have you two been up to?" Casting a wary glance at his two girls, each displaying varying degrees of excitement and anticipation in their matching brown eyes, he unwrapped the present slowly and carefully.

His large hands dwarfed the tiny outfit, the pink standing out in the dimly lit room as the bold text on the front made his eyes water: "Grandpa's Little Angel".

"Sydney…are - are you having another baby?"

She nodded with tears in her own eyes, a tingling of fear etching its way into her heart and mind. "Sweetheart…that's wonderful."

She released a strangled sob as he stood quickly and engulfed her in his arms and against his chest. "You mean it?"

"Of course!"

Jack cupped her cheek and used his thumb to wipe at the tears, he looked down at the outfit in his hand. "You really think it'll be a girl?"

"I hope so. I'm done with boys."

The small family shared a laugh, Laura breaking the news of their shopping spree to her husband. As she predicted he didn't care, waving it off as 'a small price for his newest grandchild'. The discussion moved to names, Sydney heaving a sigh and reminding her parents once again that it'd be at least three months before they figured out what it was and another seven until they met their grandchild.

"You'd think that I hadn't give you grandkids yet," she laughed and reclined, sipping on the tea her mother had made.

"It's not unnatural for us to be this excited. You remember when you told us about Jake? Oh, your mother and I went and nearly bought that place out of any and every boy item they had."

The group was content and silent, Jack and Laura sipping their drinks and looking at the fire while Sydney's mind wandered to the day she first learned about her pregnancy with Jake – the day she told Rick he was going to be a father.

Rick woke to a strange noise groggy from sleep as he tried to decipher the numbers on the alarm clock. '3:00', he thought, hearing the retching once more and pushing himself up and out of bed.

He knocked gently on the bathroom door, hearing Sydney toss him a weak, "what?"

"You okay?" Opening it and walking in he spotted her kneeling in front of the toilet with a pale face and watery eyes. "Honey…are you sick?"

"I…I think I'm pregnant."

"What?"

Nodding she clutched her stomach again before clambering to the bowl and throwing up again, Rick kneeling behind her and pulling the loose strands of brown hair away from her face. He let her finish, handing her a washcloth, accepting her full weight when she slouched against him. He smiled and pressed a kiss to her temple, his wife pointing up at the counter where a small pregnancy test sat.

"Grab that, would'ja?"

He chuckled, a ball of excitement expanding from his stomach throughout his body as he reached up and handed her the stick. She wiped at her eyes and sniffled a bit, the test confirming that she was indeed pregnant.

"We're having a baby, Rick."

They shared a heartfelt smile, Sydney's dimples caving in her cheeks as Rick's own lit up the room. "That's great, honey! I can't wait to tell everyone."

Helping her up and patiently waiting for her to catch her balance, he kept his hands at her hips while she brushed her teeth, unable to keep his fingers from tracing her flat stomach.

She spun in his arms, her own wrapping around his shoulders, "You're really excited?"

Rick's answer was a smile and a sweet kiss. "I don't think I've ever been excited about anything more than this Sydney…it's…amazing."

His excitement didn't dissipate either. Rick's involvement in everything from breathing classes to shopping and picking out maternity clothes to reading nearly every parenting book the library carried still couldn't prepare him for the day he met his son, the tall man passing out in the delivery room after cutting the cord.

A sad smile crossed her lips and she sighed, focusing once more on her parents and finding them staring at her with concerned and understanding eyes.

"Penny for your thoughts?"

"I…I was thinking about the time Rick and I found out about Jake."

"A happy memory?"

Nodding with a small smile she wasn't entirely prepared for her father's next statement. "Cherish those, sweetheart. Even though he became a man so different from the one you married don't ever get rid of the good memories. Don't forget that he used to be a good man."

"Yeah," she sighed, realizing that her dad was right. Rick may have become a person she didn't know – didn't care to know – but at one point he'd been her husband and the father of her children.

'Maybe some memories aren't that bad.'

…